Prodigal

~3.19~

All through the last class and all afternoon after school, I felt emotionally numb. Even though I slayed Ethan, I felt shitty from all the things he said. And as much as I hate to admit it, I did feel bad for the bad things I said to him.

Even though Ethan is an awful person, I still feel bad for making him feel bad. No one likes to feel like crap.

I also hated that I acknowledged the fact that I have a penis.

Gabbi was hanging out with her boyfriend after school, but I asked Sarah if she wanted to hang out for a bit. She agreed, and we went to a gas station by my house to get some snacks and a drink.

As we went up to check out, I saw the magazine stand. The cover I did for the teen magazine was now not current anymore, but I was on the cover of a different magazine.

Enquire Australia, the worst magazine ever, and one that I, for some reason, end up on the cover of a lot.

It had a picture of me when I first started transitioning. I looked like a total mess. And that nasty blurry photo of me was blown up on the front page with the caption: “Tranny Manny Emmett Hemmings.”

There was also a picture of my dad in the corner with a quotation by him that read: “Luke, ’My son disgusts me. I’ll never call him Emelia.’”

Ethan calling me a boy in school was one thing, but now a national magazine just trashed me on their cover to make a quick buck.

“Emelia…just ignore that shit.” Sarah said, trying to be sympathetic.

Angrily, I picked up a copy and ripped it in half. I then picked up another handful of copies and just ripped them over and over.

Ever bad thing said to me. Every time I was misgendered, every time I was beaten up by strangers, every time I felt like I wanted to take my own life for how people treated me, it all came out and I felt my face burning red with hot tears falling down as I ripped up each copy to shreds.

“HEY! You have to pay for that!” The cashier exclaimed.

“BITE ME BITCH!” I screamed back, just as two police officers walked in, completely randomly, to see what was happening.

Notes

How are you all doing? I'd love to hear from you :--)