~3.6~

Puberty sucks. Especially when the puberty you experience is for the wrong gender.

I looked at myself in the mirror, after I shower in the morning, before I do anything to glam, and I hate my reflection.

My jaw kept protruding and getting more defined. If I identified as male, this would be something that I would love, especially for a modeling career. But I’m not a male. But this stupid jawline begged to differ.

Hairs kept sprouting from my chin, and there’s only so much plucking I can handle before I want to burn off my nerve endings.

These damn hormones-in-a-bottle better come in quickly.

It was Monday morning, and I had to start getting ready for school. I decided that I was done focusing on what was masculine about me, and start feminizing for the day. I did my makeup, picked out an outfit, and put in my hair extensions.

My hair had grown a little longer. While it still was really short, it was long enough that I could clip in extensions every day and have it look half decent. At least I didn’t have to wear wigs anymore.

As I was getting ready to leave the house, I got a text from Jeffery.

Good morning, Emelia. Can’t wait to see you today!

He’s officially the sweetest. I really like him, but I started to question why he wanted to be with me in the first place. Does he realize that I basically have a boy’s body? We kiss, but it really can’t go past that.

For example, he can’t feel up my nonexistent boobs. I wear bras that are stuffed, so there is something there, but not anything real. On top of that, I really don’t know if I will ever want to have sex.

Maybe sex is off-putting because it’s so confusing to me. I don’t know what would happen or what we would do…especially in this body. UGGGG CONFUSING!

So…do I talk to him about all this?

Notes

Writing in Starbucks; I. Am. A. Cliche.
(And they're out of the #unicorn frapp WTF?)