Always
Rehearsals – Week 3: Part 1
Kaylie’s POV
Wednesday, 5th October
The tube wasn’t that busy when I got on it. It was currently 2pm and I had finished class early today so I had gone home, gotten changed (http://www.polyvore.com/kaylie_rehearsals_week_part/set?id=209286913) and now, I was on the way to the studios for my 2:30pm rehearsal. I sat down on one of the seats and placed my handbag down in between my feet. I took my phone out and shoved my earphones in my ears. I went into my music folder and pressed ‘Shuffle’. And guess what song came on?
Hey Angel.
Oh My God, seriously? I sighed in my head but let the song play. Liam’s high “Oooh”s hit my ears and I drummed my fingers on my thigh to the beat of the music. Then, Harry’s sweet voice began to sing.
“Hey angel
Do you know the reasons why
We look up to the sky?”
The way he sung the word “angel” made my insides turn to mush. I could imagine him recording it in the booth, his tongue hitting the roof of his mouth each time he sung “angel”. I would love to hear this song live. I knew it would sound absolutely incredible.
“Hey angel
Do you look at us and laugh
When we hold on to the past?
Hey angel.”
When I first heard the song in November last year when I bought the Made In The A.M. album, I never would have predicated how personal and special the lyrics would be to me. I was Harry’s angel and it was like he was singing the song to me.
My mind flashed back to Monday. I was so happy that Harry and I were still together. But it killed me that I couldn’t talk about it. I had to keep quiet about our relationship even more and it got more difficult as time went on. Because I loved him.
I loved Harry Styles. Not a puppy love that Directioners had for him. I mean, I really loved him. With my entire heart. I had told no-one about the new stage in my feelings for Harry because after all, I had only just discovered the stage of it myself. I had never felt love before or ever been in love but for some reason, I knew that I was in love with Harry. He was hot as hell with a smile that could melt my heart within a single second. But it wasn’t just his insanely good looks that had made me fall for him. He was so kind, almost too kind. Sweet, caring and romantic. Everything I looked for in a guy but Harry had exceeded all of my expectations. He was something far better than I had ever imagined.
The tube flew through the dark tunnel and I stared out of the window opposite me, folding my left leg over my right, as Louis’s part in the song started.
“Oh I wish I could be more like you
Do you wish you could be more like me?
Oh I wish I could be more like you
Do you wish you could be more like me?”
In a way, I wish I could be more like Harry. He was confident, didn’t care what anyone else said about him, had a very good head on his shoulders despite being in the spotlight basically 24/7. I was still so in awe of him. He was this big superstar with millions of fans and who was I? An 18-year-old school girl from London. And we were together. But I couldn’t tell him I loved him. How can I? I was fearful that I would have my love rejected. I wanted him to love me back but something told me that he didn’t feel that way about me yet. I would wait and let my feelings grow then maybe… Just maybe… Harry would love me.
0*0
I headed straight for the stage when I arrived at the studios. I passed a few crew members in the corridors that I knew and waved “hello”s at them. I turned the corner and entered the auditorium but to my surprise, it was empty. Not one camera guy nor the pianist was there. Not even Harry was there. The only thing on the stage was the large black piano. I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was 2:21pm which meant I was 9 minutes early. Still, people should be here. However, I shrugged it off and walked in the direction of the stage, ready to wait for my mentor.
“Hey, angel…” A deep voice sung to my right. I looked there but all I saw was a large draping curtain the colour of charcoal black. I thought I had imagined the voice. Suddenly, a long-fingered hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. I squealed as whoever the hand belonged to pulled me behind the curtain and into the darkness.
“Wha-” I began to ask but I was cut off by a strong kiss that made my knees go weak. I knew who it was. Nothing and no-one made me feel this way. I wound my arms around his neck while his own found my waist, pulling me to his chest. Our mouths meshed together in the dark, secret and perfect. Even though I hated sneaking around and stealing kisses from him furtively, I also got a sick thrill from it. It was amazing that no-one had caught us yet. We were very good at keeping our relationship away from prying eyes and ears. I pulled out of the kiss and looked up to see his green eyes glowing in the dark, a slight shine lighting up his chocolate curls.
“You know, I listened to Hey Angel on the tube ride here.” I said.
“It’s perfect for you, Kaylie.” Harry whispered and kissed the corner of my mouth gently.
“What is it with you grabbing me when I least expect it? First, you pulling me into your dressing room and now, this?” I asked cheekily with a smile.
“Because I can’t start the day without kissing you and I can’t do that with people around.” Harry answered simply.
“You, Harry Styles, are one desperate man.” I giggled and rested my hands on his chest. I felt the soft fabric of his T-shirt but I could tell that he was wearing some kind of jacket over it. I couldn’t see it because we were standing in the dark. It felt so impeccable being with Harry, the man I loved. My heart compelled me to tell him but I couldn’t. I had only thought those words on Monday. I couldn’t tell him after only two days that I had known. I just relished the fact that I was in his arms and that I was his angel.
“We’ve got six minutes until our rehearsal. You should go out first, angel, and wait for me on the stage.” Harry whispered. I nodded my head but quickly realised that he couldn’t see me doing that.
“OK.” I whispered back. My heart jumped when I felt his hand brush my cheek. I looked up at him and smiled when he kissed me softly. I placed my hand on his arm after he broke the kiss and slowly pulled the curtain away, checking to see if anyone was around. Fortunately, there wasn’t. I walked out and adjusted the strap of my handbag, stepping up onto the stage. I placed my bag on the floor next to the piano and rubbed my hands together. I heard footsteps and turned around to see Harry walking onto the stage. And I gasped.
His clothes… The T-shirt bit I got right. It was a simple grey one and his legs were covered in his black skinny jeans. Seriously, does he wear anything else on his legs? Apparently not. His boots were black but his jacket was something else entirely. It was a long one, reaching his knees, and he had left the buttons open. It was a striped black and grey one that accentuated his tall stature. Only Harry could pull off a jacket of that style. But still, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
“What are you laughing at?” He smirked at me.
“Is there any type of clothing you cannot wear?” I giggled, sitting down on the piano seat. My mentor rested his forearms on the piano and leaned over, his long curls falling across his shoulders.
“I can’t wear panties.”
My breath got caught in my throat from his response and that was clearly the reaction that he wanted from me. I crossed my legs to stop the hormonal effect that wanted to happen in between my thighs. I shook my head at him and smiled.
“Such a smart arse, Mr. Styles.”
“Call me “Mr. Styles” again and I won’t be able to control myself.” Harry said under his breath. I stared him with wide eyes and swallowed deeply. God, I do love him! The way he looked me made my stomach do back flips. I could just look at him for hours and still be amazed at the bone structure of his face, how his hair always looked flawless and his dimples appeared in his cheeks every time he smiled. I did love him but I wondered if I deserved his love. He always called me perfect but I didn’t believe that I was. Harry was the one that was perfect, not me.
Before I could reply to him, a few crew members walked into the auditorium, interrupting our intimate moment. Harry stood up straight and removed his jacket, draping it over the piano. I looked around to see camera guys appearing as well as sound and light technicians. My gaze went to my right when the pianist, his name was Cameron, slid onto the seat with me. Cameron and I had become very good friends, creating a nice relationship during rehearsals. And he was fantastic at playing the piano, he was amazing. Cameron had a bunch of papers in his hand which I assumed were about the theme of the week and the song that I had to perform on Saturday. He handed them to Harry who smiled at me gently.
“Right. Let’s start, Kaylie.”
0*0
I was absolutely terrified at the song Harry had chosen for me this week. Completely and utterly terrified. I screamed a stream of mixed swear words in my head when he told me his song choice. My entire insides trembled at the fact of performing this song. It was either going to go really well or really shit.
The theme for Week 3 was Number Ones and my song was Hello by Adele.
That was like the song of 2015. It had been such a big hit all over the world. Why Harry gave me this song, I had no idea. I didn’t have a huge powerful voice like Adele. My tone was softer and more vulnerable so how in the hell would I be able to hit those big notes? The burden was amplified because I had met Adele when she performed on the show last week. She had been so kind, so lovely and had an infectious laugh. And now, I had to sing one of her biggest songs. Crap!
“So, Cameron, from the top.” Harry gestured to the pianist. The soft music from the piano began to start and I placed my lips to the microphone, looking at the sheet of lyrics in my hand.
“Hello, it's me.
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet.
To go over everything.
They say that time's supposed to heal ya.
But I ain't done much healing.”
I took one short breath before singing again.
“Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be.
When we were younger and free.
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles.”
The piano began to crescendo as I led up to the chorus. This was the part of the song that I was most afraid of. I gripped the microphone stand and opened my mouth to sing.
“Hello from the other side.”
I tried to hold the note but I failed and my voice cracked. I forgot about the cameras and focused on myself. I stroked my throat with my free hand and shook my head, shouting at myself in my head.
“Sorry.” I said.
“It’s OK. The first verse you did really well. This is just the first rehearsal. You’ve got time to get it right.” Harry reassured me. I nodded and took a deep breath, calming myself down. I needed to breathe properly while singing otherwise my performance would a disaster. It was all about breathing the right way so my voice didn’t fail me. And with a huge song like Hello, it was super important.
Cameron began to play the beginning of the song and I sung the first verse again, getting ready for the chorus. I looked straight at Harry when I sang.
“Hello from the other side.”
I managed to hold the note and my mentor’s eyes glistened with admiration as a smile pulled on his kissable lips. I smiled back at him as I continued to sing the chorus.
“I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry
For everything that I've done.
But when I call you never
Seem to be home.”
I was so surprised at myself that I had gotten through the chorus reasonably well. And it was only my second try. I glanced down the lyrics and kept in time with Cameron’s playing, not wanting to get off tune.
“Hello from the outside.
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry
For breaking your heart.
But it don't matter, it clearly
Doesn't tear you apart anymore.”
My voice faded out as I stepped back from the microphone. I looked at Harry again to see that his smile had widened, flashing his bright white teeth. His grin told me everything. He didn’t have to speak a word to let me know what he thought. That was the thing about Harry. Just his smile, a sparkle in his green eyes, the sight of his dimples appearing… Those were just as good as words, if not better. With one look, Harry could tell me exactly what was going on his mind and I found that a very attractive quality in him. It only made my love for him deepen.
“That was wonderful, Kaylie!” He cried.
“Really?”
“Yes. And I bet the more we rehearse, the better you will get. I know you can do this.”
I thanked my mentor for his words of encouragement. For him to have so much faith in me made me more confident. If he says I can do this, then I can do this. I told myself. There was no point saying that I couldn’t do it because that would bring down my self-esteem and I knew Harry didn’t want that.
“Let’s go again, shall we?” Harry suggested and I nodded in agreement.
It was 5:36pm when my rehearsal with Harry finished. It had been a long one but it had been worth it. I had managed to get through the whole song twice without stuffing up at all. I really did feel proud of myself. Hello wasn’t exactly the easiest song to sing and to make unique (because I didn’t want to sound like Adele). And Harry was proud of me too. He told me just that after the cameras stopped rolling.
“So have you heard Niall’s debut single?” Harry asked me just after Cameron farewelled us and went home.
“Of course I have. Who do you think I am?” I laughed.
“My beautiful angel.” He whispered in my ear, making my heart flutter. My cheeks flushed and I sucked on my lower lip to stop the smile that threatened to break out on my face.
“Did you like his song?”
“Yes, absolutely. It’s very beautiful.” I said enthusiastically. I loved This Town. Niall sounded amazing on his own and the melody of the tune was soothing, the strumming of his guitar very comforting. The meaning of the song I also found beautiful. It was very moving and the moment I had heard it, I had a smile on my face and tears in my eyes. And I had met Niall so in a way, I was proud of him, that he was branching out on his own and I looked forward to what other songs he would release in the future.
“I’ll let him know that you said that. He’ll love you even more.” Harry smiled kindly. I smiled back. Well, I love you, Harry. Even just thinking those words scared me. Love was a big powerful emotion. It could bring joy and delight but it also brought rejection and pain. And that’s what I was afraid of. I just nodded and grabbed my handbag from the floor. Harry threaded his fingers with me and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and squeezed his hand, feeling wonderful just being with him.
“I wish I could kiss you goodbye, angel.” He murmured and I sighed, wishing the same thing. But anyone could walk in at any minute. There was a risk involved and neither of us felt comfortable in taking it.
“I know. I wish you could too. But we could get caught…” I trailed off because he knew the end of my statement. I wanted him to give me a kiss goodbye but he couldn’t. I knew he couldn’t. So I would have to make do with a kiss to the forehead and a warm hug.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, giving him a hug. Harry’s arms immediately circled my waist and held me close, as if he didn’t want to let go. I hid my face in his shoulder and listened to the sound of his breathing, his chest moving each time he took a breath. I truly loved this man. I think I loved him more than I loved myself.
“Bye, Harry.” I mumbled. I felt his lips touch my neck briefly and goosebumps soared across my skin.
“Bye, angel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
His voice sent tremors through me, making me wonder what I had done to deserve to be treated this way by him. One rehearsal down. Two to go. There was so much pressure riding on me to do justice to Hello and I hoped that I could achieve just that. I released the hug and stared up at Harry with wide sparkling eyes, looking into his green eyes and I fell deep into them. I resisted the urge to tell him my true feelings and patted his chest gently. I whispered “Goodbye” and walked off the stage, disappearing into the main corridor.
It was busier on the tube on the way home because everyone was starting to leave work. I stared out of the window opposite me, avoiding eye contact with anyone. Today had been hard. Firstly, because Harry had given me such a hard song to perform and secondly, I had to bite my tongue (figuratively speaking) the entire rehearsal about telling Harry that I loved him. I was emotionally drained but I had to power through school tomorrow, plus another rehearsal with Harry. I went into my music folder and clicked ‘Play’ on Hey Angel. Why? I didn’t know. My mentor told me it was perfect for me so I decided to listen to it again. As the song started, my phone buzzed with a text. I kept a calm face when I saw who it was from.
From Harry: You were wonderful today, angel. I have full faith that you will do an amazing job on Saturday night. Believe in yourself, Kaylie. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow. Have a good night, angel x
The utter chivalry and sweetness in his texts never ceased to amaze me. I could imagine him typing this text, all the while smiling the smile that I adored completely. It was so crazy but beautiful the way he made me feel over a single text. It was incredible and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. I took a few moments to ponder about my response before typing a reply back to him.
To Harry: Thank you, Harry :) You have no idea how much I appreciate that, especially coming from you. I hope I will do you proud this week :) As always, I can’t wait to see you again. Have a good night too, Harry! x
I got off the tube at my stop and headed up to the main street, navigating my way through the throngs of people. It took me 10 minutes to get onto my street and there, it was blissfully quiet. Just as I walked up the path to my house, I received another text from Harry.
From Harry: My pleasure, angel. I know you’ll make me proud, you always do. Sweet dreams tonight, Kaylie x
I sent back a simple short reply.
To Harry: Thank you so much, Harry :) I hope you sleep well x
As I fished my keys out of my bag, I got a reply. Seriously? I smiled to myself.
From Harry: You’re welcome. Oh, I will, angel ;) x
Oh, fuck, the winky face! I was on the verge of happy tears. I re-read his text over three times and grinned at the winky face that he had put at the end of it. I smiled cheekily when I sent him another text back.
To Harry: I will too, Harry ;) x
I knew I would sleep well tonight. Sure, I was super nervous about Saturday but the thought of Harry believing in me calmed me down. To have his support was an astonishing thing and I was so glad that he was my mentor.
And on that night, I fell into a dream that was about me telling Harry that I loved him. And he told me that he loved me too.
(Just imagine him without the scarf):
Wednesday, 5th October
The tube wasn’t that busy when I got on it. It was currently 2pm and I had finished class early today so I had gone home, gotten changed (http://www.polyvore.com/kaylie_rehearsals_week_part/set?id=209286913) and now, I was on the way to the studios for my 2:30pm rehearsal. I sat down on one of the seats and placed my handbag down in between my feet. I took my phone out and shoved my earphones in my ears. I went into my music folder and pressed ‘Shuffle’. And guess what song came on?
Hey Angel.
Oh My God, seriously? I sighed in my head but let the song play. Liam’s high “Oooh”s hit my ears and I drummed my fingers on my thigh to the beat of the music. Then, Harry’s sweet voice began to sing.
“Hey angel
Do you know the reasons why
We look up to the sky?”
The way he sung the word “angel” made my insides turn to mush. I could imagine him recording it in the booth, his tongue hitting the roof of his mouth each time he sung “angel”. I would love to hear this song live. I knew it would sound absolutely incredible.
“Hey angel
Do you look at us and laugh
When we hold on to the past?
Hey angel.”
When I first heard the song in November last year when I bought the Made In The A.M. album, I never would have predicated how personal and special the lyrics would be to me. I was Harry’s angel and it was like he was singing the song to me.
My mind flashed back to Monday. I was so happy that Harry and I were still together. But it killed me that I couldn’t talk about it. I had to keep quiet about our relationship even more and it got more difficult as time went on. Because I loved him.
I loved Harry Styles. Not a puppy love that Directioners had for him. I mean, I really loved him. With my entire heart. I had told no-one about the new stage in my feelings for Harry because after all, I had only just discovered the stage of it myself. I had never felt love before or ever been in love but for some reason, I knew that I was in love with Harry. He was hot as hell with a smile that could melt my heart within a single second. But it wasn’t just his insanely good looks that had made me fall for him. He was so kind, almost too kind. Sweet, caring and romantic. Everything I looked for in a guy but Harry had exceeded all of my expectations. He was something far better than I had ever imagined.
The tube flew through the dark tunnel and I stared out of the window opposite me, folding my left leg over my right, as Louis’s part in the song started.
“Oh I wish I could be more like you
Do you wish you could be more like me?
Oh I wish I could be more like you
Do you wish you could be more like me?”
In a way, I wish I could be more like Harry. He was confident, didn’t care what anyone else said about him, had a very good head on his shoulders despite being in the spotlight basically 24/7. I was still so in awe of him. He was this big superstar with millions of fans and who was I? An 18-year-old school girl from London. And we were together. But I couldn’t tell him I loved him. How can I? I was fearful that I would have my love rejected. I wanted him to love me back but something told me that he didn’t feel that way about me yet. I would wait and let my feelings grow then maybe… Just maybe… Harry would love me.
0*0
I headed straight for the stage when I arrived at the studios. I passed a few crew members in the corridors that I knew and waved “hello”s at them. I turned the corner and entered the auditorium but to my surprise, it was empty. Not one camera guy nor the pianist was there. Not even Harry was there. The only thing on the stage was the large black piano. I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was 2:21pm which meant I was 9 minutes early. Still, people should be here. However, I shrugged it off and walked in the direction of the stage, ready to wait for my mentor.
“Hey, angel…” A deep voice sung to my right. I looked there but all I saw was a large draping curtain the colour of charcoal black. I thought I had imagined the voice. Suddenly, a long-fingered hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. I squealed as whoever the hand belonged to pulled me behind the curtain and into the darkness.
“Wha-” I began to ask but I was cut off by a strong kiss that made my knees go weak. I knew who it was. Nothing and no-one made me feel this way. I wound my arms around his neck while his own found my waist, pulling me to his chest. Our mouths meshed together in the dark, secret and perfect. Even though I hated sneaking around and stealing kisses from him furtively, I also got a sick thrill from it. It was amazing that no-one had caught us yet. We were very good at keeping our relationship away from prying eyes and ears. I pulled out of the kiss and looked up to see his green eyes glowing in the dark, a slight shine lighting up his chocolate curls.
“You know, I listened to Hey Angel on the tube ride here.” I said.
“It’s perfect for you, Kaylie.” Harry whispered and kissed the corner of my mouth gently.
“What is it with you grabbing me when I least expect it? First, you pulling me into your dressing room and now, this?” I asked cheekily with a smile.
“Because I can’t start the day without kissing you and I can’t do that with people around.” Harry answered simply.
“You, Harry Styles, are one desperate man.” I giggled and rested my hands on his chest. I felt the soft fabric of his T-shirt but I could tell that he was wearing some kind of jacket over it. I couldn’t see it because we were standing in the dark. It felt so impeccable being with Harry, the man I loved. My heart compelled me to tell him but I couldn’t. I had only thought those words on Monday. I couldn’t tell him after only two days that I had known. I just relished the fact that I was in his arms and that I was his angel.
“We’ve got six minutes until our rehearsal. You should go out first, angel, and wait for me on the stage.” Harry whispered. I nodded my head but quickly realised that he couldn’t see me doing that.
“OK.” I whispered back. My heart jumped when I felt his hand brush my cheek. I looked up at him and smiled when he kissed me softly. I placed my hand on his arm after he broke the kiss and slowly pulled the curtain away, checking to see if anyone was around. Fortunately, there wasn’t. I walked out and adjusted the strap of my handbag, stepping up onto the stage. I placed my bag on the floor next to the piano and rubbed my hands together. I heard footsteps and turned around to see Harry walking onto the stage. And I gasped.
His clothes… The T-shirt bit I got right. It was a simple grey one and his legs were covered in his black skinny jeans. Seriously, does he wear anything else on his legs? Apparently not. His boots were black but his jacket was something else entirely. It was a long one, reaching his knees, and he had left the buttons open. It was a striped black and grey one that accentuated his tall stature. Only Harry could pull off a jacket of that style. But still, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing.
“What are you laughing at?” He smirked at me.
“Is there any type of clothing you cannot wear?” I giggled, sitting down on the piano seat. My mentor rested his forearms on the piano and leaned over, his long curls falling across his shoulders.
“I can’t wear panties.”
My breath got caught in my throat from his response and that was clearly the reaction that he wanted from me. I crossed my legs to stop the hormonal effect that wanted to happen in between my thighs. I shook my head at him and smiled.
“Such a smart arse, Mr. Styles.”
“Call me “Mr. Styles” again and I won’t be able to control myself.” Harry said under his breath. I stared him with wide eyes and swallowed deeply. God, I do love him! The way he looked me made my stomach do back flips. I could just look at him for hours and still be amazed at the bone structure of his face, how his hair always looked flawless and his dimples appeared in his cheeks every time he smiled. I did love him but I wondered if I deserved his love. He always called me perfect but I didn’t believe that I was. Harry was the one that was perfect, not me.
Before I could reply to him, a few crew members walked into the auditorium, interrupting our intimate moment. Harry stood up straight and removed his jacket, draping it over the piano. I looked around to see camera guys appearing as well as sound and light technicians. My gaze went to my right when the pianist, his name was Cameron, slid onto the seat with me. Cameron and I had become very good friends, creating a nice relationship during rehearsals. And he was fantastic at playing the piano, he was amazing. Cameron had a bunch of papers in his hand which I assumed were about the theme of the week and the song that I had to perform on Saturday. He handed them to Harry who smiled at me gently.
“Right. Let’s start, Kaylie.”
0*0
I was absolutely terrified at the song Harry had chosen for me this week. Completely and utterly terrified. I screamed a stream of mixed swear words in my head when he told me his song choice. My entire insides trembled at the fact of performing this song. It was either going to go really well or really shit.
The theme for Week 3 was Number Ones and my song was Hello by Adele.
That was like the song of 2015. It had been such a big hit all over the world. Why Harry gave me this song, I had no idea. I didn’t have a huge powerful voice like Adele. My tone was softer and more vulnerable so how in the hell would I be able to hit those big notes? The burden was amplified because I had met Adele when she performed on the show last week. She had been so kind, so lovely and had an infectious laugh. And now, I had to sing one of her biggest songs. Crap!
“So, Cameron, from the top.” Harry gestured to the pianist. The soft music from the piano began to start and I placed my lips to the microphone, looking at the sheet of lyrics in my hand.
“Hello, it's me.
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet.
To go over everything.
They say that time's supposed to heal ya.
But I ain't done much healing.”
I took one short breath before singing again.
“Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be.
When we were younger and free.
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles.”
The piano began to crescendo as I led up to the chorus. This was the part of the song that I was most afraid of. I gripped the microphone stand and opened my mouth to sing.
“Hello from the other side.”
I tried to hold the note but I failed and my voice cracked. I forgot about the cameras and focused on myself. I stroked my throat with my free hand and shook my head, shouting at myself in my head.
“Sorry.” I said.
“It’s OK. The first verse you did really well. This is just the first rehearsal. You’ve got time to get it right.” Harry reassured me. I nodded and took a deep breath, calming myself down. I needed to breathe properly while singing otherwise my performance would a disaster. It was all about breathing the right way so my voice didn’t fail me. And with a huge song like Hello, it was super important.
Cameron began to play the beginning of the song and I sung the first verse again, getting ready for the chorus. I looked straight at Harry when I sang.
“Hello from the other side.”
I managed to hold the note and my mentor’s eyes glistened with admiration as a smile pulled on his kissable lips. I smiled back at him as I continued to sing the chorus.
“I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry
For everything that I've done.
But when I call you never
Seem to be home.”
I was so surprised at myself that I had gotten through the chorus reasonably well. And it was only my second try. I glanced down the lyrics and kept in time with Cameron’s playing, not wanting to get off tune.
“Hello from the outside.
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry
For breaking your heart.
But it don't matter, it clearly
Doesn't tear you apart anymore.”
My voice faded out as I stepped back from the microphone. I looked at Harry again to see that his smile had widened, flashing his bright white teeth. His grin told me everything. He didn’t have to speak a word to let me know what he thought. That was the thing about Harry. Just his smile, a sparkle in his green eyes, the sight of his dimples appearing… Those were just as good as words, if not better. With one look, Harry could tell me exactly what was going on his mind and I found that a very attractive quality in him. It only made my love for him deepen.
“That was wonderful, Kaylie!” He cried.
“Really?”
“Yes. And I bet the more we rehearse, the better you will get. I know you can do this.”
I thanked my mentor for his words of encouragement. For him to have so much faith in me made me more confident. If he says I can do this, then I can do this. I told myself. There was no point saying that I couldn’t do it because that would bring down my self-esteem and I knew Harry didn’t want that.
“Let’s go again, shall we?” Harry suggested and I nodded in agreement.
It was 5:36pm when my rehearsal with Harry finished. It had been a long one but it had been worth it. I had managed to get through the whole song twice without stuffing up at all. I really did feel proud of myself. Hello wasn’t exactly the easiest song to sing and to make unique (because I didn’t want to sound like Adele). And Harry was proud of me too. He told me just that after the cameras stopped rolling.
“So have you heard Niall’s debut single?” Harry asked me just after Cameron farewelled us and went home.
“Of course I have. Who do you think I am?” I laughed.
“My beautiful angel.” He whispered in my ear, making my heart flutter. My cheeks flushed and I sucked on my lower lip to stop the smile that threatened to break out on my face.
“Did you like his song?”
“Yes, absolutely. It’s very beautiful.” I said enthusiastically. I loved This Town. Niall sounded amazing on his own and the melody of the tune was soothing, the strumming of his guitar very comforting. The meaning of the song I also found beautiful. It was very moving and the moment I had heard it, I had a smile on my face and tears in my eyes. And I had met Niall so in a way, I was proud of him, that he was branching out on his own and I looked forward to what other songs he would release in the future.
“I’ll let him know that you said that. He’ll love you even more.” Harry smiled kindly. I smiled back. Well, I love you, Harry. Even just thinking those words scared me. Love was a big powerful emotion. It could bring joy and delight but it also brought rejection and pain. And that’s what I was afraid of. I just nodded and grabbed my handbag from the floor. Harry threaded his fingers with me and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and squeezed his hand, feeling wonderful just being with him.
“I wish I could kiss you goodbye, angel.” He murmured and I sighed, wishing the same thing. But anyone could walk in at any minute. There was a risk involved and neither of us felt comfortable in taking it.
“I know. I wish you could too. But we could get caught…” I trailed off because he knew the end of my statement. I wanted him to give me a kiss goodbye but he couldn’t. I knew he couldn’t. So I would have to make do with a kiss to the forehead and a warm hug.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, giving him a hug. Harry’s arms immediately circled my waist and held me close, as if he didn’t want to let go. I hid my face in his shoulder and listened to the sound of his breathing, his chest moving each time he took a breath. I truly loved this man. I think I loved him more than I loved myself.
“Bye, Harry.” I mumbled. I felt his lips touch my neck briefly and goosebumps soared across my skin.
“Bye, angel. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
His voice sent tremors through me, making me wonder what I had done to deserve to be treated this way by him. One rehearsal down. Two to go. There was so much pressure riding on me to do justice to Hello and I hoped that I could achieve just that. I released the hug and stared up at Harry with wide sparkling eyes, looking into his green eyes and I fell deep into them. I resisted the urge to tell him my true feelings and patted his chest gently. I whispered “Goodbye” and walked off the stage, disappearing into the main corridor.
It was busier on the tube on the way home because everyone was starting to leave work. I stared out of the window opposite me, avoiding eye contact with anyone. Today had been hard. Firstly, because Harry had given me such a hard song to perform and secondly, I had to bite my tongue (figuratively speaking) the entire rehearsal about telling Harry that I loved him. I was emotionally drained but I had to power through school tomorrow, plus another rehearsal with Harry. I went into my music folder and clicked ‘Play’ on Hey Angel. Why? I didn’t know. My mentor told me it was perfect for me so I decided to listen to it again. As the song started, my phone buzzed with a text. I kept a calm face when I saw who it was from.
From Harry: You were wonderful today, angel. I have full faith that you will do an amazing job on Saturday night. Believe in yourself, Kaylie. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow. Have a good night, angel x
The utter chivalry and sweetness in his texts never ceased to amaze me. I could imagine him typing this text, all the while smiling the smile that I adored completely. It was so crazy but beautiful the way he made me feel over a single text. It was incredible and I wouldn’t trade it for anything else in the world. I took a few moments to ponder about my response before typing a reply back to him.
To Harry: Thank you, Harry :) You have no idea how much I appreciate that, especially coming from you. I hope I will do you proud this week :) As always, I can’t wait to see you again. Have a good night too, Harry! x
I got off the tube at my stop and headed up to the main street, navigating my way through the throngs of people. It took me 10 minutes to get onto my street and there, it was blissfully quiet. Just as I walked up the path to my house, I received another text from Harry.
From Harry: My pleasure, angel. I know you’ll make me proud, you always do. Sweet dreams tonight, Kaylie x
I sent back a simple short reply.
To Harry: Thank you so much, Harry :) I hope you sleep well x
As I fished my keys out of my bag, I got a reply. Seriously? I smiled to myself.
From Harry: You’re welcome. Oh, I will, angel ;) x
Oh, fuck, the winky face! I was on the verge of happy tears. I re-read his text over three times and grinned at the winky face that he had put at the end of it. I smiled cheekily when I sent him another text back.
To Harry: I will too, Harry ;) x
I knew I would sleep well tonight. Sure, I was super nervous about Saturday but the thought of Harry believing in me calmed me down. To have his support was an astonishing thing and I was so glad that he was my mentor.
And on that night, I fell into a dream that was about me telling Harry that I loved him. And he told me that he loved me too.
(Just imagine him without the scarf):
Notes
Hey, guys! I went up to my aunt and uncle’s place over the weekend so I haven’t been able to update, sorry! But I’m back home now with WiFi and everything :) I just realised today that Always has been on the first popular page for over four weeks! And we’ve reached 50 votes! Thank you guys so much! But I lost 2 subscribers :( However, I love the rest of you for reading and your continued support for this story!
How good does Harry look at the Another Man launch party? He is literally the definition of perfection! He can come rocking in a floral suit or a plain black one and he’ll look amazing either way! And the fact that he was wearing nail polish made me sob! He’s finally blossoming into his own person and I’m so proud of him and I just love him so much! Sorry for my rant, just had to say something :)
So how do you think Kaylie will go with singing Hello? Will she flourish or will she crash and burn?
blankspace1 xx
We’re dying for an update here. I love it. <3
11/19/17