Always
Live Shows: Week 1 – Part 4 (Live Decider)
Harry’s POV
Sunday, 25th September
The sound of footsteps hit my ears outside my dressing room. I got up from the couch and went to the door, opening it a little bit. I peeked through the crack and smiled when I saw the caramel-haired beauty walking down the hall, closer and closer to me. I took my chance and opened the door further, grabbing her arm when she was close enough.
I heard her gasp as I pulled her inside, closing the door with my free hand. I pushed her back against the wall and stared down at her. God, she looks so gorgeous today. I smiled. I loved the way her jeans hugged her legs and bottom and how her caramel-coloured hair fell down her right shoulder in long shiny waves. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on, a feast and a treat for me to gaze upon. Kaylie raised her eyes to mine and gasped when I placed my other hand on the back of her head, leaning down and devouring her lips with my own.
The kiss was far more fiery than the ones we had shared last night. Because she was in my dressing room, I could kiss her however I wanted. I knew it was a risk because we were still in the studios but not kissing Kaylie would drive me mad. I would be on edge, my only thoughts on the cherry taste of her lips. My fingers grasped her soft hair while my other hand let go of her arm, moving to hold her waist. I pulled her closer to me and she rested her fists on my chest as I pressed my lips to hers even harder. She moaned and my lips broke free to chuckle softly. Hearing her moan was amazing. It meant she enjoyed my kisses and what I felt for her. My thumbs soared across her flushed cheeks in sweet caresses as I smiled at her brightly.
“I’ve missed you.”
“You just saw me last night. And you texted me this morning.” She said, her smile lighting up her face. I truly believed she didn’t know how beautiful she was. My fingers ghosted over her cheek as I pushed a lock of her hair behind her right ear. Just the way she stared up at me did things to my heart. Her brown eyes held such warmth and affection, two pools of melted milk chocolate.
“You’re all I’ve thought about for the past 16 hours and…” I checked the time on the clock, looking over my shoulder.
“32 minutes.” I smirked as my gaze went back to Kaylie. My mind had been plagued with thoughts of her face, lips, skin and eyes last night. She was the last thing on my mind before I went to bed yesterday and she was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning. I was infatuated with her. I couldn’t get enough of her.
“Such a charmer, aren’t you, Mr. Styles?” Kaylie’s eyes sparkled when she spoke.
“Always, Miss Walker.” I murmured softly. I leaned down again and kissed her lips gently. We both immediately wanted more so the kiss became more eager, more passionate. I felt her hands clutch my neck, playing with my hair, while my arms locked around her slim waist, keeping her close. There was nothing better than having Kaylie up against the wall, in my arms, kissing her with everything that I had. I was so hung up on her. I just wanted to tell everybody she was mine. But I couldn’t. For now, our romantic relationship was a secret. My tongue moved across her top lip, asking for more. Kaylie opened her mouth and I wrapped my lips around hers as she kissed me harder, looping her arms around my neck. I broke the kiss with a chuckle and pressed my lips to the corner of her mouth.
“So eager, angel.” I whispered.
“You’re making me eager.” She whispered back. She lowered her head onto my chest and hugged me, her arms circling my waist. I hugged her back, burying my face in her silky hair. I placed my hand in her locks and kissed her temple gently. I was truly feeling something deep for this girl. I loved the way she hugged me, like it meant everything to her. Her body fit flawlessly with mine, like the perfect puzzle. She was perfect for me. And I couldn’t wait for everyone in the world to know that.
I remembered our text conversation this morning and rubbed my hands on her back as her arms tightened around me.
“You want to meet Ariana?” I asked her. Kaylie looked up, her eyes shining with happiness, and nodded. God, she’s perfect! Her expression was joyful when she saw the smile on my face.
“You’re cute when you’re excited.” I said, laughing.
“Can I meet her now?” Kaylie begged me.
“She’s doing sound check for her performance tonight but we can go and watch her, if you want.” I suggested.
“I would love to! Let’s go.”
She let go of me and I felt cold without her arms around me. I had never felt this way about a girl. I had never craved a girl’s hug this much before. She was just about to grab the doorknob but I stopped her by taking her hand in my own. I wasn’t done with her yet. I wanted more. I needed more. Her skin was smooth and her fingers weaved together with me. She raised her eyebrows at me, a little surprised.
“Something wrong?”
“No. Just…kiss me.” I demanded with a cheeky tone.
“And you say I’m the eager one.” Kaylie giggled. That sound gave me life. It literally sent my heart aflutter.
“Come here, angel.” I smiled at her, pulling her close. She giggled again, her smile wide as I meshed my lips with hers. She melted into my arms as we kissed tenderly. I loved the way she tugged on my curly hair, how her lips moved with mine effortlessly. There was no need to try. The attraction was real and so was the passion.
0*0
The light in her eyes made me happy. I could see she looked more confident in herself after meeting Ariana. It was a delight to see her so ecstatic. I loved making Kaylie happy. It’s what any man wanted to do with their girl. To make her happy. I knew she was still nervous about tonight though. I knew how she felt. When the boys and I had been on the show, we were never in the Bottom 2. But that didn’t mean any of my girls were safe from being in that position. It was all down to how the public voted. However, I knew Kaylie would be OK. I just knew.
“Don’t be nervous, angel. You’ll be fine tonight, I know it.” I told Kaylie as I lay down on the couch, looking at her. She nodded at me and fiddled with her slender fingers. My eyes flickered to them, a smile coming across my face as the memory of her fingers in my hair and on my neck entered my brain. Even just the slightest touch of her fingertips sent shivers through me, ever since our first kiss last night.
I watched her as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. She stared at the screen for a few seconds before typing something. She put her phone back in her pocket and locked her kind eyes to mine.
“I should go. There’s less than 3 hours to go until the show airs.”
No, I don’t want you to leave yet! I cried in my head.
“You can’t spare another ten minutes for me?”
“Oh, I wish but Alicia really wants to see me. You know her. She’ll flip if I keep her waiting any longer.” Kaylie beamed at me. Her smile reached her eyes, her fair face aglow. So that’s who texted her. I really liked Alicia. She was a fun girl, loved life but also knew how to be professional and was hardworking. Her rehearsals with me had been great this past week and her performance had paid off last night. I loved that she and Kaylie were friends. I wanted the girls in my category to bond; it would make things easier. But I knew there was a very slim chance of Kaylie and Melody seeing eye-to-eye. It was so obvious they didn’t like each other. The hostility could be felt if they were in the same room together. I was worried that maybe Kaylie felt threatened by Melody. She didn’t need to worry about Melody’s flirty advances. I only want you, Miss Walker.
“That’s Alicia alright.” I nodded in agreement. Kaylie bit her lip to hold back her smile. Her biting her lip sent tremors down in between my legs. I needed to feel her mouth on mine one last time before she left.
“Can I at least have the pleasure of kissing you before you leave my presence?” The smirk on my face grew when she walked over to me. Her body went down as she placed her knees on the floor. I loved towering above her. I didn’t look at it as being superior or in control but I knew Kaylie liked it. Why else would she go down on her knees in front of me? I moved my legs around so my feet were on the floor and she was staring up at me, waiting.
My knuckles made a route across her right cheek, feeling her skin grow warm beneath my tender touch. I smiled as I cupped her face in my hands, leaning down and closing the gap between us with my lips. The kiss was full of fire and desire and it sent my heartbeat racing. My breath was lost when she gripped my wrists with her hands tightly. Kaylie let out a sigh when our lips parted, her warm breath rushing over my face. I kept my eyes closed when I kissed her forehead gently.
“I’ll see you soon, angel.”
“Bye.” She said and got to her feet, letting my wrists go. She grabbed her jacket and her handbag, throwing both over her arm and shoulder. She blew me a kiss before she left my room, closing the door behind her.
As soon as she was gone, I lay back down on the couch again, sighing as I looked at the blank white ceiling. Whenever I was alone, my mind immediately went to Kaylie. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I didn’t want to be obsessive but I really did like her. More than ever. I savoured each moment we spent together, even when it was on the cameras. I enjoyed being able to teach her the ropes of how to survive in this industry because it wasn’t easy. I of all people knew that. Where the successes came, so did the failures. Where there were the positives, there were the negatives. I knew Kaylie could handle it. She may look innocent and vulnerable but she was strong. She knew what she wanted and she loved what she loved. I admired that about her. Being in her presence was just as pleasant for me as it was for her being in my presence. We were wired the same way. I was so glad I said yes to Simon in being a judge this year. If I had said no, I probably would never have met Kaylie. I would never be falling for her or hugging her or kissing her. All of that wouldn’t be in my life. My angel wouldn’t be in my life.
I still hadn’t told anyone about us. Not the boys or my friends. Not even my mother. I was worried about if it got out. I figured I could trust my family but things can slip out of a person’s mouth quite easily. The backlash of it would be terrible. Kaylie would be hurled with all sorts of verbal abuse, both on social media and offline. People would accuse her of hooking up with me and swaying me to keep her in the competition. To me, that sounded more like something Melody would do. I had a reputation for being a bad boy so rumours would spread like wildfire. But I wouldn’t let that happen. I wouldn’t let my beautiful angel be put down in that way. Ever. She was completely innocent in all of this. We liked each other. We wanted each other. That’s all. But to The X Factor producers…it wouldn’t be “that’s all.” to them. Simon…Oh My Lord, Simon would go off his rocker. He’d tell me it wouldn’t be professional and falling for one of my contestants was a scandal. I didn’t want there to be a scandal. I just wanted it to be me and Kaylie.
I had to bear in mind though that Kaylie was only 18. I hadn’t dated a girl that was four years younger than me before. Since I shot to fame, all the girls I had dated were in the spotlight. They knew what it was like. Camera flashes, marriage and baby rumours, paparazzi everywhere, negative comments. But Kaylie…she didn’t know what any of that was like. She was still young and completing her final year of high school. She was like every other girl her age. But to me, she was special. She had a gift and I wanted to be the person to showcase that gift to everyone. All of the emotions I had were crazy and beautiful and I felt conflicted. I had never been in this situation before so I had no clue what to do. The one thing I knew for certain was that I was falling for Kaylie. And I continued to fall for her every day.
But not being able to tell anyone was eating me up inside. I needed to tell someone. It would have to be a person I trusted with my whole life but there were many people I trusted with my whole life. I was sure Kaylie had already told Alicia but that didn’t bother me. I knew Alicia would remain quite about it and Kaylie trusted her. So if she trusted her, I did too.
I got up from the couch and went over to the desk to grab my phone. I unlocked it and scrolled through my contacts until I reached the person I wanted to text. I can trust her. I know I can. I clicked on her name and typed out the text, quickly reading over it before I hit Send.
To Gemma: Come over tonight at 10:45 if you can, sis. Stay the night if you want but I need to tell you something really important x
0*0
I switched on the lights as I closed the door that led down to the garage behind me. I was in a very happy mood because all three of my contestants were through to next week. It installed confidence in me that I was doing a good job in mentoring them. It was a new experience, seeing the competition from the eyes of a judge. It was completely different.
The moment Melody’s name was called out, however, I had felt Kaylie’s arm stiffen around my waist. She clearly was not happy in the slightest that she had gotten through; Alicia wasn’t either. I remembered the looks in their eyes. Underneath the joy and the happiness, it was there. Anger. Confusion. Disgust. But the public liked Melody. And there was nothing the other two girls could do about it.
Gemma had agreed to stay over tonight because she didn’t want to come here for just half-an-hour; that wasn’t her. I looked forward to seeing my sister. Seeing as she was older than me, she was extremely protective of me. Her baby brother. She always had my best interests in mind and for that, I was eternally grateful to her. Hopefully, it would remain that way after I tell her about Kaylie and I.
I dropped my keys on the kitchen counter and opened the fridge to see what wine I had. I was just about to pull out a bottle of Shiraz when the doorbell rang. I closed the fridge and jogged over to the front door, opening it with a smile.
“Gem!” I cried.
“Harry!” My sister smiled at me as she walked inside the house. I saw she held a duffle bag in one hand as she flipped her newly-cut blonde hair over her shoulder. I gave her a hug and kissed her cheek, smiling as she wrapped her free arm around my back.
“Here, let me take that.” I released the hug and took the duffel bag from her.
“Ever the gentleman, little brother.” Gemma grinned at me. I grinned back and walked back the way I came, into the living room, placing the bag on the floor next to one of the armchairs. I went back to the open kitchen and opened the fridge door.
“Would you like a glass of wine?”
“I’d kill for one.” I heard Gemma say.
“Shiraz OK?”
“Perfect.”
I grabbed the bottle and set it on the counter. I found two wine glasses and poured the red liquid into them slowly. My sister had taken a seat on the couch comfortably, her handbag on top of her duffel bag. She draped her arm over the back of the couch and looked at me excitedly.
“So what’s this “really important” thing you’ve got to tell me?” She asked. OK, here we go! I finished pouring the wine and put the bottle back in the fridge. I took hold of the glasses and went down to sit next to Gemma. I handed her one of the glasses and I took a sip from mine, just to calm my nerves. But why am I nervous? I can trust my sister, can’t I? I was stupid. Of course I could! She had always been there for me. She would be there for me now.
“Right…um…you know Kaylie Walker?” I started.
“One of your contestants? Yeah, I do. What’s wrong? Did she get eliminated?” Gemma asked quickly.
“No, no, no, she got through. But that’s not what I need to tell you.” I said. My sister narrowed her eyes at me and folded one of her legs over the other. I didn’t know why I was so…scared to tell my sister. I knew she would keep this secret because it wasn’t her information to share. That was my job. I was too silent so Gemma spoke up.
“Harry, tell me. Please.”
I sighed and looked at me honestly. I needed to tell her now. I invited her here. I couldn’t chicken out. So I told her the truth.
“I’m falling for her.”
Gemma’s eyes widened and her lips parted in shock. I ran my free hand through my hair and took a gulp of wine, letting the alcohol spread through my system. In a way, it felt so good to let out the truth, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. However, it wasn’t just my burden now. It was Gemma’s too. She stared at me in shock and I wondered if she had gone mute. She hadn’t said a word.
“Please say something.” I said. Her red fingernails clinked against her wine glass as she stared at me with huge eyes.
“How long have you had these…feelings?” She asked.
“Ever since she came onto the stage for her audition.”
“Have you kissed her?”
“Yes. More than once.”
“When?”
“I kissed her for the first time last night.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Did she kiss you back?”
“I just told you I’ve kissed her more than once. I think that implies that “yes” is the answer to that question.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“You’re the first person I’ve told. And I’m sure Kaylie has told Alicia. What is this, Gem? I didn’t expect an interrogation.” I sighed.
“I’m just looking out for you. As your older sister, that is my prerogative. I’ve met Simon. I know he wouldn’t exactly be happy about this. Falling for one of your contestants? Harry…what…?” She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply.
“I didn’t plan on it, Gem. Nothing about this was premeditated. And anyway, when was the last time I truly fell hard for a girl? You should be happy for me.” I said to her. It had been a long time since I had developed strong feelings for a young woman before. My relationships in the spotlight didn’t exactly last long because we just grew apart and the long distance thing just made everything more difficult. But Kaylie was here with me. In the same city. On many days, in the same building. I was always close to her and that pleased me.
“I am happy for you, Harry. It’s just the situation you are in worries me.” Gemma said, taking a sip of her wine.
“Believe me, I wish it was different. I wish I could hold her in public, kiss her on street corners, let everyone know that she’s mine. And I know there’ll be a time when I can do that. After the competition, we will be together. I’ll wait.”
“You’ve never seemed like a patient person, Harry.”
“Well, I will be for Kaylie.” I stated and sipped my wine again. Even if Kaylie won or not, we would be together after the competition finished. I couldn’t let her go now nor could I ever. This wasn’t just a fling. This wasn’t a thing where I got a girlfriend for the Winter and may I add, that was never on purpose. It just happens. I wanted to be with Kaylie for as long as she wanted me to. Her youthful attitude to things awoke the child within me. She made me feel happy, made me smile, made me laugh. And I enjoyed every moment I spent with her.
“My baby brother sounds head over heels. I’ve never seen you fall for a girl so quickly.” Gemma smiled at me and I blushed. Yes, I blushed. Or maybe it’s from the wine. But both my sister and I knew it wasn’t the wine that made my face flush.
“So tell me about her. I want to know everything about this girl.” Gemma insisted with a smile. I leaned back on the couch and proceeded to tell my sister what entered my brain ever since I laid eyes on Kaylie back in May.
It was around midnight when Gemma decided to go to bed. She kissed my cheek and told me she looked forward to meeting Kaylie one day. I hoped it would happen. I could see Kaylie fitting into my family very well. She was kind, sweet, adorable and a breath of fresh air in my life.
When I returned to the kitchen to place my dirty wine glass in the dishwasher, my phone buzzed with a ‘ping’ to let me know that I had gotten a text. I grabbed my phone off the counter and smiled when I saw it was a text from my angel.
From Kaylie: Hey, Harry :) Sorry I’m texting you so late. I think we need to have a conversation about our…relationship. How we’re going to go about it, you know? I know you know we can’t let it become public knowledge. I just need to know where we stand. I hope you understand. Maybe we can talk before our rehearsal on Tuesday? x
I read over her text for a second time and realised she was right. We hadn’t had a proper conversation about what we were going to do. I had been too occupied with kissing her. Whoops. I sent her a reply as quickly as I could.
To Kaylie: I’m still awake, angel. It’s OK. I think the same thing. I know we can’t flaunt our affections for each other when there are people around. Don’t worry, I do understand. Yes, we can talk then, I promise x
She texted back immediately.
From Kaylie: Thank you, Harry. I’ll see you on Tuesday :) Night x
To Kaylie: Looking forward to it. Good night, angel x
I rested my forearms on the counter and thought about Kaylie and I. What are we going to do? We had to be silent about what we felt for each other. We had to be professional. I couldn’t kiss her willy-nilly, not as much as I would like to. But even though we were in this dilemma, we were in it together. And we would get through it together. Just me and my beautiful angel.
Sunday, 25th September
The sound of footsteps hit my ears outside my dressing room. I got up from the couch and went to the door, opening it a little bit. I peeked through the crack and smiled when I saw the caramel-haired beauty walking down the hall, closer and closer to me. I took my chance and opened the door further, grabbing her arm when she was close enough.
I heard her gasp as I pulled her inside, closing the door with my free hand. I pushed her back against the wall and stared down at her. God, she looks so gorgeous today. I smiled. I loved the way her jeans hugged her legs and bottom and how her caramel-coloured hair fell down her right shoulder in long shiny waves. She was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on, a feast and a treat for me to gaze upon. Kaylie raised her eyes to mine and gasped when I placed my other hand on the back of her head, leaning down and devouring her lips with my own.
The kiss was far more fiery than the ones we had shared last night. Because she was in my dressing room, I could kiss her however I wanted. I knew it was a risk because we were still in the studios but not kissing Kaylie would drive me mad. I would be on edge, my only thoughts on the cherry taste of her lips. My fingers grasped her soft hair while my other hand let go of her arm, moving to hold her waist. I pulled her closer to me and she rested her fists on my chest as I pressed my lips to hers even harder. She moaned and my lips broke free to chuckle softly. Hearing her moan was amazing. It meant she enjoyed my kisses and what I felt for her. My thumbs soared across her flushed cheeks in sweet caresses as I smiled at her brightly.
“I’ve missed you.”
“You just saw me last night. And you texted me this morning.” She said, her smile lighting up her face. I truly believed she didn’t know how beautiful she was. My fingers ghosted over her cheek as I pushed a lock of her hair behind her right ear. Just the way she stared up at me did things to my heart. Her brown eyes held such warmth and affection, two pools of melted milk chocolate.
“You’re all I’ve thought about for the past 16 hours and…” I checked the time on the clock, looking over my shoulder.
“32 minutes.” I smirked as my gaze went back to Kaylie. My mind had been plagued with thoughts of her face, lips, skin and eyes last night. She was the last thing on my mind before I went to bed yesterday and she was the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning. I was infatuated with her. I couldn’t get enough of her.
“Such a charmer, aren’t you, Mr. Styles?” Kaylie’s eyes sparkled when she spoke.
“Always, Miss Walker.” I murmured softly. I leaned down again and kissed her lips gently. We both immediately wanted more so the kiss became more eager, more passionate. I felt her hands clutch my neck, playing with my hair, while my arms locked around her slim waist, keeping her close. There was nothing better than having Kaylie up against the wall, in my arms, kissing her with everything that I had. I was so hung up on her. I just wanted to tell everybody she was mine. But I couldn’t. For now, our romantic relationship was a secret. My tongue moved across her top lip, asking for more. Kaylie opened her mouth and I wrapped my lips around hers as she kissed me harder, looping her arms around my neck. I broke the kiss with a chuckle and pressed my lips to the corner of her mouth.
“So eager, angel.” I whispered.
“You’re making me eager.” She whispered back. She lowered her head onto my chest and hugged me, her arms circling my waist. I hugged her back, burying my face in her silky hair. I placed my hand in her locks and kissed her temple gently. I was truly feeling something deep for this girl. I loved the way she hugged me, like it meant everything to her. Her body fit flawlessly with mine, like the perfect puzzle. She was perfect for me. And I couldn’t wait for everyone in the world to know that.
I remembered our text conversation this morning and rubbed my hands on her back as her arms tightened around me.
“You want to meet Ariana?” I asked her. Kaylie looked up, her eyes shining with happiness, and nodded. God, she’s perfect! Her expression was joyful when she saw the smile on my face.
“You’re cute when you’re excited.” I said, laughing.
“Can I meet her now?” Kaylie begged me.
“She’s doing sound check for her performance tonight but we can go and watch her, if you want.” I suggested.
“I would love to! Let’s go.”
She let go of me and I felt cold without her arms around me. I had never felt this way about a girl. I had never craved a girl’s hug this much before. She was just about to grab the doorknob but I stopped her by taking her hand in my own. I wasn’t done with her yet. I wanted more. I needed more. Her skin was smooth and her fingers weaved together with me. She raised her eyebrows at me, a little surprised.
“Something wrong?”
“No. Just…kiss me.” I demanded with a cheeky tone.
“And you say I’m the eager one.” Kaylie giggled. That sound gave me life. It literally sent my heart aflutter.
“Come here, angel.” I smiled at her, pulling her close. She giggled again, her smile wide as I meshed my lips with hers. She melted into my arms as we kissed tenderly. I loved the way she tugged on my curly hair, how her lips moved with mine effortlessly. There was no need to try. The attraction was real and so was the passion.
0*0
The light in her eyes made me happy. I could see she looked more confident in herself after meeting Ariana. It was a delight to see her so ecstatic. I loved making Kaylie happy. It’s what any man wanted to do with their girl. To make her happy. I knew she was still nervous about tonight though. I knew how she felt. When the boys and I had been on the show, we were never in the Bottom 2. But that didn’t mean any of my girls were safe from being in that position. It was all down to how the public voted. However, I knew Kaylie would be OK. I just knew.
“Don’t be nervous, angel. You’ll be fine tonight, I know it.” I told Kaylie as I lay down on the couch, looking at her. She nodded at me and fiddled with her slender fingers. My eyes flickered to them, a smile coming across my face as the memory of her fingers in my hair and on my neck entered my brain. Even just the slightest touch of her fingertips sent shivers through me, ever since our first kiss last night.
I watched her as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. She stared at the screen for a few seconds before typing something. She put her phone back in her pocket and locked her kind eyes to mine.
“I should go. There’s less than 3 hours to go until the show airs.”
No, I don’t want you to leave yet! I cried in my head.
“You can’t spare another ten minutes for me?”
“Oh, I wish but Alicia really wants to see me. You know her. She’ll flip if I keep her waiting any longer.” Kaylie beamed at me. Her smile reached her eyes, her fair face aglow. So that’s who texted her. I really liked Alicia. She was a fun girl, loved life but also knew how to be professional and was hardworking. Her rehearsals with me had been great this past week and her performance had paid off last night. I loved that she and Kaylie were friends. I wanted the girls in my category to bond; it would make things easier. But I knew there was a very slim chance of Kaylie and Melody seeing eye-to-eye. It was so obvious they didn’t like each other. The hostility could be felt if they were in the same room together. I was worried that maybe Kaylie felt threatened by Melody. She didn’t need to worry about Melody’s flirty advances. I only want you, Miss Walker.
“That’s Alicia alright.” I nodded in agreement. Kaylie bit her lip to hold back her smile. Her biting her lip sent tremors down in between my legs. I needed to feel her mouth on mine one last time before she left.
“Can I at least have the pleasure of kissing you before you leave my presence?” The smirk on my face grew when she walked over to me. Her body went down as she placed her knees on the floor. I loved towering above her. I didn’t look at it as being superior or in control but I knew Kaylie liked it. Why else would she go down on her knees in front of me? I moved my legs around so my feet were on the floor and she was staring up at me, waiting.
My knuckles made a route across her right cheek, feeling her skin grow warm beneath my tender touch. I smiled as I cupped her face in my hands, leaning down and closing the gap between us with my lips. The kiss was full of fire and desire and it sent my heartbeat racing. My breath was lost when she gripped my wrists with her hands tightly. Kaylie let out a sigh when our lips parted, her warm breath rushing over my face. I kept my eyes closed when I kissed her forehead gently.
“I’ll see you soon, angel.”
“Bye.” She said and got to her feet, letting my wrists go. She grabbed her jacket and her handbag, throwing both over her arm and shoulder. She blew me a kiss before she left my room, closing the door behind her.
As soon as she was gone, I lay back down on the couch again, sighing as I looked at the blank white ceiling. Whenever I was alone, my mind immediately went to Kaylie. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I didn’t want to be obsessive but I really did like her. More than ever. I savoured each moment we spent together, even when it was on the cameras. I enjoyed being able to teach her the ropes of how to survive in this industry because it wasn’t easy. I of all people knew that. Where the successes came, so did the failures. Where there were the positives, there were the negatives. I knew Kaylie could handle it. She may look innocent and vulnerable but she was strong. She knew what she wanted and she loved what she loved. I admired that about her. Being in her presence was just as pleasant for me as it was for her being in my presence. We were wired the same way. I was so glad I said yes to Simon in being a judge this year. If I had said no, I probably would never have met Kaylie. I would never be falling for her or hugging her or kissing her. All of that wouldn’t be in my life. My angel wouldn’t be in my life.
I still hadn’t told anyone about us. Not the boys or my friends. Not even my mother. I was worried about if it got out. I figured I could trust my family but things can slip out of a person’s mouth quite easily. The backlash of it would be terrible. Kaylie would be hurled with all sorts of verbal abuse, both on social media and offline. People would accuse her of hooking up with me and swaying me to keep her in the competition. To me, that sounded more like something Melody would do. I had a reputation for being a bad boy so rumours would spread like wildfire. But I wouldn’t let that happen. I wouldn’t let my beautiful angel be put down in that way. Ever. She was completely innocent in all of this. We liked each other. We wanted each other. That’s all. But to The X Factor producers…it wouldn’t be “that’s all.” to them. Simon…Oh My Lord, Simon would go off his rocker. He’d tell me it wouldn’t be professional and falling for one of my contestants was a scandal. I didn’t want there to be a scandal. I just wanted it to be me and Kaylie.
I had to bear in mind though that Kaylie was only 18. I hadn’t dated a girl that was four years younger than me before. Since I shot to fame, all the girls I had dated were in the spotlight. They knew what it was like. Camera flashes, marriage and baby rumours, paparazzi everywhere, negative comments. But Kaylie…she didn’t know what any of that was like. She was still young and completing her final year of high school. She was like every other girl her age. But to me, she was special. She had a gift and I wanted to be the person to showcase that gift to everyone. All of the emotions I had were crazy and beautiful and I felt conflicted. I had never been in this situation before so I had no clue what to do. The one thing I knew for certain was that I was falling for Kaylie. And I continued to fall for her every day.
But not being able to tell anyone was eating me up inside. I needed to tell someone. It would have to be a person I trusted with my whole life but there were many people I trusted with my whole life. I was sure Kaylie had already told Alicia but that didn’t bother me. I knew Alicia would remain quite about it and Kaylie trusted her. So if she trusted her, I did too.
I got up from the couch and went over to the desk to grab my phone. I unlocked it and scrolled through my contacts until I reached the person I wanted to text. I can trust her. I know I can. I clicked on her name and typed out the text, quickly reading over it before I hit Send.
To Gemma: Come over tonight at 10:45 if you can, sis. Stay the night if you want but I need to tell you something really important x
0*0
I switched on the lights as I closed the door that led down to the garage behind me. I was in a very happy mood because all three of my contestants were through to next week. It installed confidence in me that I was doing a good job in mentoring them. It was a new experience, seeing the competition from the eyes of a judge. It was completely different.
The moment Melody’s name was called out, however, I had felt Kaylie’s arm stiffen around my waist. She clearly was not happy in the slightest that she had gotten through; Alicia wasn’t either. I remembered the looks in their eyes. Underneath the joy and the happiness, it was there. Anger. Confusion. Disgust. But the public liked Melody. And there was nothing the other two girls could do about it.
Gemma had agreed to stay over tonight because she didn’t want to come here for just half-an-hour; that wasn’t her. I looked forward to seeing my sister. Seeing as she was older than me, she was extremely protective of me. Her baby brother. She always had my best interests in mind and for that, I was eternally grateful to her. Hopefully, it would remain that way after I tell her about Kaylie and I.
I dropped my keys on the kitchen counter and opened the fridge to see what wine I had. I was just about to pull out a bottle of Shiraz when the doorbell rang. I closed the fridge and jogged over to the front door, opening it with a smile.
“Gem!” I cried.
“Harry!” My sister smiled at me as she walked inside the house. I saw she held a duffle bag in one hand as she flipped her newly-cut blonde hair over her shoulder. I gave her a hug and kissed her cheek, smiling as she wrapped her free arm around my back.
“Here, let me take that.” I released the hug and took the duffel bag from her.
“Ever the gentleman, little brother.” Gemma grinned at me. I grinned back and walked back the way I came, into the living room, placing the bag on the floor next to one of the armchairs. I went back to the open kitchen and opened the fridge door.
“Would you like a glass of wine?”
“I’d kill for one.” I heard Gemma say.
“Shiraz OK?”
“Perfect.”
I grabbed the bottle and set it on the counter. I found two wine glasses and poured the red liquid into them slowly. My sister had taken a seat on the couch comfortably, her handbag on top of her duffel bag. She draped her arm over the back of the couch and looked at me excitedly.
“So what’s this “really important” thing you’ve got to tell me?” She asked. OK, here we go! I finished pouring the wine and put the bottle back in the fridge. I took hold of the glasses and went down to sit next to Gemma. I handed her one of the glasses and I took a sip from mine, just to calm my nerves. But why am I nervous? I can trust my sister, can’t I? I was stupid. Of course I could! She had always been there for me. She would be there for me now.
“Right…um…you know Kaylie Walker?” I started.
“One of your contestants? Yeah, I do. What’s wrong? Did she get eliminated?” Gemma asked quickly.
“No, no, no, she got through. But that’s not what I need to tell you.” I said. My sister narrowed her eyes at me and folded one of her legs over the other. I didn’t know why I was so…scared to tell my sister. I knew she would keep this secret because it wasn’t her information to share. That was my job. I was too silent so Gemma spoke up.
“Harry, tell me. Please.”
I sighed and looked at me honestly. I needed to tell her now. I invited her here. I couldn’t chicken out. So I told her the truth.
“I’m falling for her.”
Gemma’s eyes widened and her lips parted in shock. I ran my free hand through my hair and took a gulp of wine, letting the alcohol spread through my system. In a way, it felt so good to let out the truth, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. However, it wasn’t just my burden now. It was Gemma’s too. She stared at me in shock and I wondered if she had gone mute. She hadn’t said a word.
“Please say something.” I said. Her red fingernails clinked against her wine glass as she stared at me with huge eyes.
“How long have you had these…feelings?” She asked.
“Ever since she came onto the stage for her audition.”
“Have you kissed her?”
“Yes. More than once.”
“When?”
“I kissed her for the first time last night.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“Did she kiss you back?”
“I just told you I’ve kissed her more than once. I think that implies that “yes” is the answer to that question.”
“Does anyone else know?”
“You’re the first person I’ve told. And I’m sure Kaylie has told Alicia. What is this, Gem? I didn’t expect an interrogation.” I sighed.
“I’m just looking out for you. As your older sister, that is my prerogative. I’ve met Simon. I know he wouldn’t exactly be happy about this. Falling for one of your contestants? Harry…what…?” She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply.
“I didn’t plan on it, Gem. Nothing about this was premeditated. And anyway, when was the last time I truly fell hard for a girl? You should be happy for me.” I said to her. It had been a long time since I had developed strong feelings for a young woman before. My relationships in the spotlight didn’t exactly last long because we just grew apart and the long distance thing just made everything more difficult. But Kaylie was here with me. In the same city. On many days, in the same building. I was always close to her and that pleased me.
“I am happy for you, Harry. It’s just the situation you are in worries me.” Gemma said, taking a sip of her wine.
“Believe me, I wish it was different. I wish I could hold her in public, kiss her on street corners, let everyone know that she’s mine. And I know there’ll be a time when I can do that. After the competition, we will be together. I’ll wait.”
“You’ve never seemed like a patient person, Harry.”
“Well, I will be for Kaylie.” I stated and sipped my wine again. Even if Kaylie won or not, we would be together after the competition finished. I couldn’t let her go now nor could I ever. This wasn’t just a fling. This wasn’t a thing where I got a girlfriend for the Winter and may I add, that was never on purpose. It just happens. I wanted to be with Kaylie for as long as she wanted me to. Her youthful attitude to things awoke the child within me. She made me feel happy, made me smile, made me laugh. And I enjoyed every moment I spent with her.
“My baby brother sounds head over heels. I’ve never seen you fall for a girl so quickly.” Gemma smiled at me and I blushed. Yes, I blushed. Or maybe it’s from the wine. But both my sister and I knew it wasn’t the wine that made my face flush.
“So tell me about her. I want to know everything about this girl.” Gemma insisted with a smile. I leaned back on the couch and proceeded to tell my sister what entered my brain ever since I laid eyes on Kaylie back in May.
It was around midnight when Gemma decided to go to bed. She kissed my cheek and told me she looked forward to meeting Kaylie one day. I hoped it would happen. I could see Kaylie fitting into my family very well. She was kind, sweet, adorable and a breath of fresh air in my life.
When I returned to the kitchen to place my dirty wine glass in the dishwasher, my phone buzzed with a ‘ping’ to let me know that I had gotten a text. I grabbed my phone off the counter and smiled when I saw it was a text from my angel.
From Kaylie: Hey, Harry :) Sorry I’m texting you so late. I think we need to have a conversation about our…relationship. How we’re going to go about it, you know? I know you know we can’t let it become public knowledge. I just need to know where we stand. I hope you understand. Maybe we can talk before our rehearsal on Tuesday? x
I read over her text for a second time and realised she was right. We hadn’t had a proper conversation about what we were going to do. I had been too occupied with kissing her. Whoops. I sent her a reply as quickly as I could.
To Kaylie: I’m still awake, angel. It’s OK. I think the same thing. I know we can’t flaunt our affections for each other when there are people around. Don’t worry, I do understand. Yes, we can talk then, I promise x
She texted back immediately.
From Kaylie: Thank you, Harry. I’ll see you on Tuesday :) Night x
To Kaylie: Looking forward to it. Good night, angel x
I rested my forearms on the counter and thought about Kaylie and I. What are we going to do? We had to be silent about what we felt for each other. We had to be professional. I couldn’t kiss her willy-nilly, not as much as I would like to. But even though we were in this dilemma, we were in it together. And we would get through it together. Just me and my beautiful angel.
Notes
This picture of Harry does things to me, things I should not be feeling. I feel like this chapter sucks but it was all I could manage. I don’t want to write all the same scenes over again from Harry’s POV because that’s boring to me. I need to change it up a bit. I figure that Gemma and Harry are very close so they would have a solid trusting relationship. I enjoyed writing Gemma, I love her :) Hope you all liked it!
blankspace1 xx
We’re dying for an update here. I love it. <3
11/19/17