Chapter fifteen- "Dark Clouds"
Chapter Song- Understand, Shawn Mendes
[Freckleton, Lancashire England; Avaline's Apartment, 07:00]

Avaline's POV

It's Thursday. I have exactly 24 hours till Niall came back.
I shake my head wearily at my thoughts. Fuck my life. I turn over and laid on my back, staring up at my popcorn ceiling and listening to the rain that pounded on my window. Like damn, if America had this rain on the west coast, it'd be able to support life for once and not bitch all the time, I thought. I snorted at that. Charlie went to California to visit his grandparents and he told me about all these regulations about watering grass and all of this stupid stuff.
I used to live in California at one time.
That was right before things became difficult.
My mum and John left Massachusetts or Virginia or wherever my mum lived and moved to California- like every typical couple with big dreams for the future. John Steinbeck had one thing right, I suppose. You encounter a lot of problems, you just move.
I felt so restless and tired and I ached everywhere. I struggled with sleeping, always have. I emitted a tired groan, climbing out of my tangled flannel sheets, I went out to my terrace and looked out across the houses surrounding my building. I only really stood out here when I had to figure things out, although I was not confused, I was just really, really pissed. Mostly at myself though. I was such a confusing person, If I'm going to be one hundred percent honest with you. Maybe I was paranoid or perhaps I was simply going through my phases again.
Every once in a while, I would go through these periods of restlessness and a sort of sadness- not to be confused with depression. I was never diagnosed with it nor did I think that I was. I would become sad, and then go back to being normal- nothing more. It's different.
I went into the wash room and stared into my deadpanned reflection. There were dark, brownish- purple bags beneath my eyes. It wasn't so much that I cared about my appearance, It's just that, with the way I looked, it was obvious that I wasn't sleeping right, which means that things are on my mind. From there, it is apparent that thing are beginning to get to me or becoming to much for me to handle. Neither were true, sometimes I just have trouble sleeping. It's a phase that I sometimes go through.
There was a knock at my front door- the familiar three knocks, one bang. I let out another sigh as I left the terrace and opened the front door to find Charlie standing there, coffee in hand, and his usual blonde hair swoop a complete mess. I let him come in and I have him a quick hug as he yawned. We found ourselves slumping down lazily on the sofa. Charlie was the English stereotype: blond and bright blues eyes, grew up in a cottage, well manoured with refined parents that didn't understand the concept of dirt. The only thing however, is that Charlie never acted like it. He swore worse than an American southerner, most likely didn't understand the concept of a filter and social ques. He wore his typical grey jeans, white T shirt and vanz. His shaggy hair was always covered by a snap back and headphones blasting A Day To Remember. Right at that moment though, we were up at an ungodly hour not known to man. . .
"So about the other day," he started off. "You want to talk about it?"
"I don't really know what you're talking about?"
Before he could continue, we heard a door open and we see John stepping out of his bedroom, coat draped over his arm and a small leather satchel over his shoulder.
"Wohin gehst du?"
John Adjusts his bag and puts on hi coat, pulling the knitted scarf off of the hook and wrapping it around his neck. John's look embodied the European stereo-type quite well- with his scarf and dark coat and shoulder bag, tall and lanky. . . I found it to be funny for some reason. My fucking father was a wanna be Gucci model.
"I have a meeting to attend to." He replies softly.
"But you just got back from one." I say. John sighs and turns his back, adjusting his coat and fiddling around with his scarf. "I'll be back in a week, Nani. Charles, keep an eye on my daughter, please." And with that, he stepped out and closed the door. I snatched a pillow that Charlie was leaning on and screamed into it in complete frustration. Why did he always have to leave when things got hard?! I just couldn't understand.
Charlie noticed my sudden change, and brought me in for one of those lad-hugs. He knew to never really touch me, but in times like this, a simple embrace was all that I needed. And right now, I was so frustrated, I felt the pressure of tears beginning to build up from behind me blue eyes, however, they didn't fall. I forbade them to do so.
I don't cry, I physically can't. And I hated the thought of ever having to do so. I felt as though crying was something gross and awful- something people did when they were finally broken.
I wasn't broken, however. I was just a little bent at the moment.
As the two of us pulled away, I felt Charlie staring down at me and when I looked up, our eyes locked. The two of us stared intently for a moment, but it was abruptly ended when he stood and picked up the coffee's that were set on the floor.
"I thought you could use one," He says, clearing his throat. He sounded just as tired as I. "So, are you still stoked for tonight, mate?" I peered over at my best mate, unsure of what he meant, when I remembered that it was Thursdays. Cole, Ed, Charlie and I always went to the local pub on Thursdays for drinks and just to get away from it all. We never went on Fridays. It always felt too crowded for us, and the fact that the four of us had work or school or whatnot, Thursdays were the only days that worked.
"Sure, Char." I sigh, rubbing the side of my face. I could feel it burning up- something that always happens.
We were silent for a few moments.
"So I heard you hitch-hiked a few days ago."
"Yeah, sort of."
"AJ, do you even realize who you've got yo-"
"Yes, I do. Now lay it to rest."
He went silent. "Sorry, I'm just watching out for you." he whispers.
"Well, maybe you can start by just backing the fuck up and sticking your nose elsewhere."
"Mate, where is this all coming from?" he says, standing up. "What the bloody hell? I'm just trying to-"
"Can you just go," I tell him, slumping down in my seat and covering my face with my hands. I didn't want to look at him. He was my best mate, I knew that he didn't take any of this personally. It was at times like these, everyone remembered I was still a girl, and I could still be moody and once in a foul mood, everyone that stood in my wake would be cut down.
I honestly did not mean to snap at him, but when my father did things like this, it wasn't the best of times to be around me.
Charlie nodded and let himself out, telling me that maybe he'd see me later.
I ended up texting Cole and Ed that I wouldn't be coming, so just enjoy themselves.
I felt like there was a dark cloud hanging above me head and I wanted nothing more than to rid myself of it!
I hated when I got like this.
[22:08, Texting Thread]
The Irish One: AJ, you there?
The Irish One: ???
I groaned and rolled over to look at my phone. Damn it blonde, I mutter under my breath. I grab my phone and text him back.
Me: What the hell do you want?
The Irish One: I'll be there in about two hours. Is that okay?
Me: Yeah, door's unlocked
The Irish One: Cool, are you comfortable if I stayed the night? Its too late for a reservation at the motel..
Me: Yeah, sure whatever
The Irish One: Cool, I'll see you soon
I felt myself smile, but only slightly. I'll see you too..

Notes