Flawed [Ashton Irwin]
Chapter eight
Luna
It’s over. Finals are officially over and I couldn’t be any more grateful. My head is still filled with different definitions and equations that I can’t help but repeat for no reason, just because they are the only thing stuck in my mind right now. My body is craving two of the most important things in the world: food and sleep. I barely got any of these two in the past weekend, because I was studying almost twenty hours out of twenty four. I didn’t once touch my notebook, no matter how tempted I was to draw the beautiful shapes of clouds I saw from outside my window.
My phone has been buzzing constantly, even though I tried my hardest to ignore it. I guess some people just can’t take a hint. When I try to get some time just for studying it seems like everyone suddenly starts caring about me. My dad has been calling countless of times, already stressed about making a guest list for the wedding, not knowing who are actually his friends and his enemies. After the first five calls I just stopped answering him. Afterwards, my mom started calling. Assuming it was my dad again, I ignored it as well. But then she freaked out, sending Harold, her driver, to check up on me. She thought I might have set the house on fire or something. Leave it to mother to create a full scenery in her head just because I haven’t answered her 3 phone calls in the span of five minutes.
And then there was Ashton, the only call that actually made me feel somehow better. It was a very short twenty second conversation. I told him I was busy with studying and he understood, wished me luck and has been since sending me a text every morning and night with very nice messages, such as “You are going to do great.” or “Good luck, don’t give up!”. As encouraging as his texts were, they only made me more nervous about my exams. But now I have nothing to worry about, I am pretty sure I nailed all of them and I will see the results in about a week. For now I just want to forget about geometry and English literature and just eat a really big meal next to a really good book.
So I decide to do just that. After getting out of school I go straight to the closest McDonald’s I know and order myself a big meal, before walking back to the park next to my school, taking a seat on the slightly wet grass and opening up my backpack to get out my old volume of Hamlet, eating my lunch surrounded by the beautiful nature. It is days like this that I really appreciate; the weather is not too hot, but not cold. The cool grass beneath my legs sends chills through my body that remind me of warm summer nights and the aftermath of rainy days.
I see some other kids from school walking with their friends, talking and laughing. It makes me feel a bit lonely, to be honest. But I just brush the feeling off, telling myself that it doesn’t matter. I enjoy being by myself, it is just what I have always done and I got used to it, so it shouldn’t bother me. But I know it does. So I close my book and take out my phone, checking some of my missed calls and texts. Dad called me again about twenty minutes ago, but I know he most likely wanted to ask me if Barry Wilson even is his friend, to which I would reply with yes, and then he would call me only minutes later to list me some other people to which I would also say yes, even though I don’t know most of them. Then there is a missed call from Ashton and two texts from him as well. I decide to open the those first.
iMessage from: Ashton
how was it??
iMessage from: Ashton
hey are you okay?
I decide to just call him instead of sending him a text, I just can’t be bothered by doing that right now.
“Hello?” He answers quickly, only after one ring.
“Hi. I just got out, it went well.” I answer his unasked questions because I know he was about to mention my exams in some way.
“Really? That’s great!” I can almost hear the smile in his voice. “So that means you’re done with school?”
“I guess I am.” I haven’t really thought about it, I have been waiting for summer the whole semester and now that it’s finally here I have no plans. “Come on, let’s grab some ice cream.”
“Right now?” He asks and I nod but then realize he can’t see me. How stupid.
“Right now.”
It takes him almost half an hour to come here and all this time I continued on reading my book and eating my fries. I don’t even notice his arrival until he sits down next to me and gives me quite the scare. It’s really going to take me some time to get used to his hair; it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just different.
“Hi.” He smiles brightly, small creases forming around his eyes. “What are you reading?” He glances down at my book which I close so he can see the cover. “Shakespeare?” He frowns and I nod.
“It helps me relax.” He just nods slowly in response, shrugging his shoulders.
“I’ve never read that before.” My eyes widen, because honestly, how?
“What? But, you just finished high school, your teachers didn’t ask for you to read this?” I am surprised, because my teacher made us read Shakespeare starting from ninth grade.
“Of course they did.” He chuckles. “I just never read them.” He shrugs. “I don’t really read.”
“That’s a shame.” I look down and pull some of the slightly wet grass between my fingers. “It is a beautiful book.”
“What even is it about?” He frowns and takes it from my lap, looking through the pages.
“I guess you’ll have to read it to find out.” I send him a smile and he shakes his head amused, continuing to flip the pages, after handing it back to me.
“You know, my dad’s been asking about you constantly.” He suddenly confesses and I raise my eyebrows.
“Really?” He brings a hand at the nape of his neck, scratching it awkwardly.
“I didn’t mean for it to sound so weird.” He shakes his head and I giggle slightly at how uncomfortable he is. “It’s just that he really wants to properly meet you; something about wanting to get to know all of my friends.” He rolls his eyes and my heart skips a beat again after hearing those words.
“So we’re friends?” I ask him to be certain, because maybe he doesn’t think we are, maybe he’s just quoting his father.
“I mean, I thought we… you know, we could be, but if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine.” He shakes his head and I just want to stop him from doubting himself so much.
“I want to be friends.” I smile and he does so back, the sun coming in his eyes making him squint adorably. “I’ve never had a friend before.” I add quietly and look down at my book again, deciding on just marking the page I was on and putting it back in my backpack.
“Never?” He frowns and I just shrug. “But why?”
“I guess people are just not interested in being friends with me.” He smiles sadly for a few seconds then slowly rubs my shoulder.
“Well, I am.” The thought of that makes me really happy; Ashton and I being friends. Who would have thought?
“So when should I come for dinner to meet your dad?” I change the subject, because I don’t know where that conversation could have taken us.
“Whenever you want, honestly, I don’t really know.” He looks like he feels really nervous all of a sudden, twisting his words. “I’ll have to tell him beforehand, but anytime is okay.”
“Friday?” I suggest and he seems to think for a moment but then nods quickly.
“Friday, cool.” I smile and nod as well, picking the wrappers of my lunch to throw them away.
“How do you eat so much?” He asks randomly and I laugh.
“I don’t know. But I’m still up for ice cream.” He laughs as well.
After a nice afternoon with Ashton, eating ice cream, talking about my finals and settling things for Friday’s dinner, we part ways kind of awkwardly. I don’t know if I should hug him or not; last time it happened it was a really nice, but short embrace. I lift my hand to wave at him after contemplating what I should do and he leans in with his arms opened, so I almost hit him in the face with my stupid wave, but after that it’s just too weird, so we just leave with a short “bye”. I guess we’ll hug next time.
After that I go home and finally get to clean my room of all the random balls of paper thrown all around, textbooks all over my desk and the floor and I swear I even found some pens in my bed. I throw them all away and make my bed, before taking a quick shower. Now that I think about it, I am actually starting to feel a bit nervous about having dinner with Ashton and his dad. He seems like a really nice man and I know I am probably twisting my arm over nothing, but it’s just my inner awkward self that won’t let the thought go. I try to take my mind away from those thoughts and keep myself busy by watching the new episodes of my favorite tv shows that I didn’t get to watch in the last couple of weeks and at around nine o’clock I go to sleep.
It’s been around three weeks since I have known Ashton and I keep thinking about how fast time passes. If I wouldn’t have asked for those stupid guitar lessons then I would have most likely never talked to him again; but I am glad I did. And I couldn’t be happier to get to call him my friend. I still have to get used to saying that, it’s a bit overwhelming, but it’s a nice feeling. Not being alone anymore. It’s indeed nice. Very nice.
It’s over. Finals are officially over and I couldn’t be any more grateful. My head is still filled with different definitions and equations that I can’t help but repeat for no reason, just because they are the only thing stuck in my mind right now. My body is craving two of the most important things in the world: food and sleep. I barely got any of these two in the past weekend, because I was studying almost twenty hours out of twenty four. I didn’t once touch my notebook, no matter how tempted I was to draw the beautiful shapes of clouds I saw from outside my window.
My phone has been buzzing constantly, even though I tried my hardest to ignore it. I guess some people just can’t take a hint. When I try to get some time just for studying it seems like everyone suddenly starts caring about me. My dad has been calling countless of times, already stressed about making a guest list for the wedding, not knowing who are actually his friends and his enemies. After the first five calls I just stopped answering him. Afterwards, my mom started calling. Assuming it was my dad again, I ignored it as well. But then she freaked out, sending Harold, her driver, to check up on me. She thought I might have set the house on fire or something. Leave it to mother to create a full scenery in her head just because I haven’t answered her 3 phone calls in the span of five minutes.
And then there was Ashton, the only call that actually made me feel somehow better. It was a very short twenty second conversation. I told him I was busy with studying and he understood, wished me luck and has been since sending me a text every morning and night with very nice messages, such as “You are going to do great.” or “Good luck, don’t give up!”. As encouraging as his texts were, they only made me more nervous about my exams. But now I have nothing to worry about, I am pretty sure I nailed all of them and I will see the results in about a week. For now I just want to forget about geometry and English literature and just eat a really big meal next to a really good book.
So I decide to do just that. After getting out of school I go straight to the closest McDonald’s I know and order myself a big meal, before walking back to the park next to my school, taking a seat on the slightly wet grass and opening up my backpack to get out my old volume of Hamlet, eating my lunch surrounded by the beautiful nature. It is days like this that I really appreciate; the weather is not too hot, but not cold. The cool grass beneath my legs sends chills through my body that remind me of warm summer nights and the aftermath of rainy days.
I see some other kids from school walking with their friends, talking and laughing. It makes me feel a bit lonely, to be honest. But I just brush the feeling off, telling myself that it doesn’t matter. I enjoy being by myself, it is just what I have always done and I got used to it, so it shouldn’t bother me. But I know it does. So I close my book and take out my phone, checking some of my missed calls and texts. Dad called me again about twenty minutes ago, but I know he most likely wanted to ask me if Barry Wilson even is his friend, to which I would reply with yes, and then he would call me only minutes later to list me some other people to which I would also say yes, even though I don’t know most of them. Then there is a missed call from Ashton and two texts from him as well. I decide to open the those first.
iMessage from: Ashton
how was it??
iMessage from: Ashton
hey are you okay?
I decide to just call him instead of sending him a text, I just can’t be bothered by doing that right now.
“Hello?” He answers quickly, only after one ring.
“Hi. I just got out, it went well.” I answer his unasked questions because I know he was about to mention my exams in some way.
“Really? That’s great!” I can almost hear the smile in his voice. “So that means you’re done with school?”
“I guess I am.” I haven’t really thought about it, I have been waiting for summer the whole semester and now that it’s finally here I have no plans. “Come on, let’s grab some ice cream.”
“Right now?” He asks and I nod but then realize he can’t see me. How stupid.
“Right now.”
It takes him almost half an hour to come here and all this time I continued on reading my book and eating my fries. I don’t even notice his arrival until he sits down next to me and gives me quite the scare. It’s really going to take me some time to get used to his hair; it’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just different.
“Hi.” He smiles brightly, small creases forming around his eyes. “What are you reading?” He glances down at my book which I close so he can see the cover. “Shakespeare?” He frowns and I nod.
“It helps me relax.” He just nods slowly in response, shrugging his shoulders.
“I’ve never read that before.” My eyes widen, because honestly, how?
“What? But, you just finished high school, your teachers didn’t ask for you to read this?” I am surprised, because my teacher made us read Shakespeare starting from ninth grade.
“Of course they did.” He chuckles. “I just never read them.” He shrugs. “I don’t really read.”
“That’s a shame.” I look down and pull some of the slightly wet grass between my fingers. “It is a beautiful book.”
“What even is it about?” He frowns and takes it from my lap, looking through the pages.
“I guess you’ll have to read it to find out.” I send him a smile and he shakes his head amused, continuing to flip the pages, after handing it back to me.
“You know, my dad’s been asking about you constantly.” He suddenly confesses and I raise my eyebrows.
“Really?” He brings a hand at the nape of his neck, scratching it awkwardly.
“I didn’t mean for it to sound so weird.” He shakes his head and I giggle slightly at how uncomfortable he is. “It’s just that he really wants to properly meet you; something about wanting to get to know all of my friends.” He rolls his eyes and my heart skips a beat again after hearing those words.
“So we’re friends?” I ask him to be certain, because maybe he doesn’t think we are, maybe he’s just quoting his father.
“I mean, I thought we… you know, we could be, but if you don’t want to, that’s perfectly fine.” He shakes his head and I just want to stop him from doubting himself so much.
“I want to be friends.” I smile and he does so back, the sun coming in his eyes making him squint adorably. “I’ve never had a friend before.” I add quietly and look down at my book again, deciding on just marking the page I was on and putting it back in my backpack.
“Never?” He frowns and I just shrug. “But why?”
“I guess people are just not interested in being friends with me.” He smiles sadly for a few seconds then slowly rubs my shoulder.
“Well, I am.” The thought of that makes me really happy; Ashton and I being friends. Who would have thought?
“So when should I come for dinner to meet your dad?” I change the subject, because I don’t know where that conversation could have taken us.
“Whenever you want, honestly, I don’t really know.” He looks like he feels really nervous all of a sudden, twisting his words. “I’ll have to tell him beforehand, but anytime is okay.”
“Friday?” I suggest and he seems to think for a moment but then nods quickly.
“Friday, cool.” I smile and nod as well, picking the wrappers of my lunch to throw them away.
“How do you eat so much?” He asks randomly and I laugh.
“I don’t know. But I’m still up for ice cream.” He laughs as well.
After a nice afternoon with Ashton, eating ice cream, talking about my finals and settling things for Friday’s dinner, we part ways kind of awkwardly. I don’t know if I should hug him or not; last time it happened it was a really nice, but short embrace. I lift my hand to wave at him after contemplating what I should do and he leans in with his arms opened, so I almost hit him in the face with my stupid wave, but after that it’s just too weird, so we just leave with a short “bye”. I guess we’ll hug next time.
After that I go home and finally get to clean my room of all the random balls of paper thrown all around, textbooks all over my desk and the floor and I swear I even found some pens in my bed. I throw them all away and make my bed, before taking a quick shower. Now that I think about it, I am actually starting to feel a bit nervous about having dinner with Ashton and his dad. He seems like a really nice man and I know I am probably twisting my arm over nothing, but it’s just my inner awkward self that won’t let the thought go. I try to take my mind away from those thoughts and keep myself busy by watching the new episodes of my favorite tv shows that I didn’t get to watch in the last couple of weeks and at around nine o’clock I go to sleep.
It’s been around three weeks since I have known Ashton and I keep thinking about how fast time passes. If I wouldn’t have asked for those stupid guitar lessons then I would have most likely never talked to him again; but I am glad I did. And I couldn’t be happier to get to call him my friend. I still have to get used to saying that, it’s a bit overwhelming, but it’s a nice feeling. Not being alone anymore. It’s indeed nice. Very nice.
@FadingLogic
thank you so much!! x
4/24/17