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Shattered

FIVE

No Lights.
No Sun.
No stars.
Only bleakness and dark.
Burning, that was all I was able to feel; in my chest, my throat, my stomach, my face. My lungs were weighed down with cement.
My body shook and my throat was constricted by an invisible rope. I was cold and hungry and exhausted. I hadn't showered in over two days and my clothes smelt of mildew and musk.
"Things like this don't just happen!" I screamed finally. "What did I do wrong!" Searing hot tears streamed down my face, leaving my cheeks burning like salt water splashed onto freshly broken skin.
I stood in the middle of what was now to be called my room, and I stared up at the ceiling waiting for an answer. None came.
"I was obedient, I prayed every night... why?! Why them? Why not me too?" I sobbed fitfully. "Why am I the one living! That should be me lying six feet under, do you hear me? That should be me! They did so much wrong, God, but to kill them off?! Why? I thought you were forgiving!!! Why am I left here!"
I slid down the wall and brought my knees into my chest. "Why God? Why did you take them?" I cried into my knees. I felt drained, helpless, and frustrated. There, in that corner, I fell asleep feeling the tears streaming down my cheeks.

I folded the paper and began to make my decent down to the second floor of the house. As soon as I opened my door, however, I heard something I didn't really expect. It was Rebecca. I carefully approached her door, but was about to knock when I was interrupted.
"Things like this don't just happen!" she screamed. "What did I do wrong!" I could practically feel the searing hot tears on her face. I've been there. Those hot tears that must have been streaming down here cheeks leaving them to feel raw and sensitive yet couldn't get herself to stop. She paused for a moment.
". . . I was obedient, I prayed every night... why?! Why them? Why not me too? Why am I the one living! That should be me lying six feet under, do you hear me? That should be me! They did so much wrong, God, but to kill them off?! Why? I thought you were forgiving!!! Why am I left here!" I Heard a loud thump against the wall. "Why God? Why did you take them?" Now her voice was muffled.
I do not really know how long I had stood outside her door. Nor do I know exactly when Rebecca had gone quiet, but she did at some point.
As carefully as I could, I opened her door. She was sitting in the corner, her arms wrapped around herself as her forehead rested on her knees. I paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. I half expected for her head to shoot up and yell at me. But she didn't. She stayed perfectly still.
I made my way over to her cautiously, thinking that perhaps she hear me, and quietly called her name. She was unresponsive. Kneeling down, I tapped her lightly on the shoulder. Rebecca let out a soft moan as she situated herself deeper into the corner. She had fallen asleep. I didn't really know what it was about her, but my heart had softened a little more for her. I finally saw her face. And it was something that I can't quite fully explain. Rebecca had dark eyebrows that were thicker than most, but not over done. Her eyes were shut and her lashes curled out to rest delicately on her cheeks, which were a light shade of rose. Her upper lip was thinner while her bottom lip was plumper and turned down into almost a pout. She had strands of hair hanging in her face, but for the most part, she was stunning... How can someone so beautiful be in so much pain?
I picked her up carefully, and laid her down on her bed. Folding up the sweatshirt I had given her until I could get her a pillow, I placed it beneath her head, smoothing out her hair and brushing it away from her face. Rebecca curled into it, emitting a faint moan as she did so. I went out to the hall closet and got her a blanket and covered her up, placed the letter I had written just past the door and closed it behind me.
She was so precious. Too precious.
"You've already grown attached to her, haven't y'?" I hear from behind me. I spun around to find Niall standing behind me. "You should probably just leave 'er to Louis. It'd be best for y'."
"I'm not attached, Horan. I was just..." I let my voice trail as I searched for an explanation that'd get past the astute Irish man before me.
Niall held up his hand. "No need, I am just saying. Last thing y' need is to get in more trouble. Alright?" I nodded. Niall continued down the hall and to his room. I let out a sigh. I needed to keep my distance.
I raked my fingers through my hair and allowed a laboured sigh to fall from my lips as I leaned up against the hall wall.
Rebecca was going to be the end of me.