*Journal Page*
I stopped by my Mum’s before heading to the airport. She knows how I feel about Lizzie, and that I’m nervous about going to Italy for their wedding.
Mum reminded me that this is Lizzie’s day, that I need to put my feelings aside and support her. I promised her I’d do my best.

On the flight, I tried to reason out the best way to handle this. Perhaps I should just try to blend into the background.

Then standing at the door to the villa with the other guests, I find myself quite nervous.
Everyone greeted Liam and Lizzie, I gave them each a quick hug. Lizzie looked at me strangely.
While Liam began to give everyone a tour, she pulled me aside, and told me I was acting weird. I guess I’d chose the wrong strategy.
I explained my actions and told her I didn’t want to ruin her special day.
With an adorable sparkle in her eye, she told me that I could never just blend in. She also told me she wanted me there, and that I should relax, act normal. Then she told me that I was important to her, causing my heart to race.
I immediately promised her that I would stop being weird. We both laughed, and she offered to give me a tour of the house. I reached down, giving her a big hug. It was just as much for me as it was for her.
She told me that was much better. I now knew how I needed to proceed for the next few days.

The men played golf later that day. I found myself feeling extremely competitive with Liam. I guess if I can’t win in the Lizzie situation, I just want to beat him in something. Geez that sounds completely barbaric. Quit being an ass, Styles.
p.s. I won.

That evening we had impromptu bachelor and bachelorette parties at the villa. The ladies had theirs for Lizzie downstairs. We had ours for Liam upstairs in the game room.
At one point I snuck out of the party and sat on the stairs. I watched Lizzie; she’s so beautiful. She’s always treated me with the utmost kindness. My sweet, Lizzie. You are not mine, but sometimes, I pretend that you are.
I realized how happy she looks, and that’s truly all I ever want for her.

The next day is the wedding rehearsal. Niall and I walked Lizzie down the aisle, then my mind wandered. A coping mechanism, I’m sure.
At the rehearsal dinner, Liam’s mum insisted that he and Lizzie spend the night apart. He wasn’t very happy about it.
That evening when I went to bed, I saw Liam in the game room.
As I lay in bed, I began to fantasize about finding Lizzie, telling her how much I really love her, convincing her to marry me instead.
I got out of bed, standing at the window, looking out at this amazing property.
I know that I can’t. Will I regret someday not trying? Maybe. Tonight though, I have to focus only on Lizzie’s happiness.
I walked over to the game room, finding it empty. I knew immediately where Liam was. The same place I’d be if Lizzie were mine.

Notes