Fighting for Air

His hair was much longer, as was his facial hair. His style was definitely different; baggier pants. His birthmark was still on his neck, so I knew it was him. And those eyes, who would forget those beautiful eyes? It was definitely him. A more grown looking him.
I couldn’t help being taken by surprise. I knew that I would see him eventually; I just wasn’t prepared for it being that soon. And I’m pretty sure he couldn’t help being surprised either. For a brief second we were both frozen, but he was able to recover more quickly than I could, “Victoria?”
I blinked a few times, trying to bring myself back from Mars. I looked away for a second and then flickered my eyes back to Liam’s face, “Uh yeah, hi.”
He gave a very small smile, possibly just a twitch it was so small, “What are you doing here?”
I tried to peak around him, my brow furrowing together, “Isn’t Ella here?”
Liam moved aside, “Um, yeah. She said you wouldn’t be able to make it though, because of classes.”
I took my cue and went through the small space between him and the door, “Of course she did,” I grumbled.My shoulder slightly brushed his chest; I had to force back the butterflies that erupted in my stomach. I am really starting to hate butterflies.
“Where is she?”
He shut the door and cleared his throat before answering, “She’s, uh, I’ll just show you.”
I followed Liam past the kitchen and living room area to doors that led outside. I heard splashing and yelling before we even reached the doors. It just added fuel to my flames. I may actually drown my sister. I was afraid she was left for dead in some alley an hour ago and now I’m going to be the one to do it.
The first thing I see is the pool that expands out and looks like it completely drops off into the street below, and then I see Ella on Harry’s shoulders and Ella’s friend, Natalie, on Niall’s. Looks like I get to kill TWO kids. I stand there for a moment, arms crossed and taking in the scene of the two girls playing chicken with two members of a famous boy band. I might have found this amusing too, but nope. Not today. Today, I just want to kill Ella for dragging me through hell.
“So glad you’re having fun Ella,” I spoke loudly.
Ella and Natalie both froze as Niall and Harry turned to look at me. Niall’s face told me that he knew he was in just as much trouble as Ella. Harry’s face was oblivious to the fact I could possible punch a puppy, “Victoria! I thought you weren’t going to make it!”
Before I had the chance to reply, Harry slipped Natalie off of his shoulders, hopped out of the pool and put is soaking wet arms around me in a hug. My tense posture gave away that I wasn’t here for a friendly visit. He awkwardly pulled away and coughed into his fist, “Uhm, is everything alright?”
I looked over at Ella, who couldn’t look me in the eye, “No, not at the moment, Harry,” I looked back at Harry, “Excuse me for a sec.”
I walked closer to where the three convicts were floating in the water, knowing that they were about to be persecuted. I glanced over my shoulder at the door, and both Liam and Harry were looking at me curiously. I turned back to face my prey, “You know, on the way here I thought up so many things I could say to you, but now… Now I am truly at a loss for words,” I said quietly.
Ella finally looked up, making direct eye contact with me, showing no fear, “That’s a first.”
My eyes bugged out of my head a bit, “Excuse me?” She didn’t seem fazed. I turned to Natalie, “Does your mother know that you’re here?” Natalie, on the other hand, looked like she had seen a ghost, “Yes ma’am.”
“Did you also skip school?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Does your mother know you skipped,” I asked evenly.
Natalie looked down at the water, “No ma’am,” she whimpered.
“Then I suggest you get your butt out of that pool and go call her.”
Without another word, Natalie got out of the pool, wrapping a towel around her before scurrying off. I turned back to Ella, my voice becoming thick with emotion, making it hard to speak, “Do you know what kind of hell you put me through? I didn’t know what happened to you. You couldn’t have been lying somewhere dead,” my voice cracked.
When Ella looked at me, I saw behind her walls she was upset that she made me worry like that, but her voice was laced with something else, something I had never heard come from Ella before- hatred. “That’s on you. If you would have let me come, then this wouldn’t be happening right now.”
Why did I have to deal with such a smartass? “If you would have done what I told you, then this wouldn’t be happening either.”
Ella snorted like an angry bull, “Yeah, well, not everything you tell me to do is best for me, especially when they are for your own selfish reasons.”
Yep, that hurt.
It felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. Who was this girl?
I tried to recover myself, “What are you talking about?”
She rolled her eyes, “Forget it.”
Ella got out of the pool; the whole atmosphere around us was thick with hostility. She wrapped herself up and turned to me, “I know you’re my sister, and I know you do a lot for me, but sometimes, I really fucking hate you.”
I was wrong before. THAT hurt.
Ella scurried into the hotel room, Harry and Liam both parting to let her through. Both of their faces were shocked and confused. I turned back to Niall, tears in my eyes. She has never talked to me like that before. What she said and the way she said it was like driving a sword through my heart. She couldn’t mean it, could she?
I sat down on the nearest lounge chair with blurry eyes from the tears that were about to escape. I have done so much for her, yet she skipped school, went behind my back, and did exactly what I told her not to do. But she was right. It was for my own selfish reasons. I thought maybe if I kept it low key she wouldn’t notice, but apparently I was wrong. I knew I had no right to keep her from them. I should have let her see them, it was me I didn’t want them to see.
I put my face in my hands, trying to bury away the shame and sadness that I felt. I looked up to see Niall getting out of the pool. He came over to where I sat and crouched down in front of me, his blond hair wet, “Victoria, I am so sorry. I didn’t know that you said no until you texted me, sounding completely beside yourself.”
I looked into his blue eyes, full of sincerity, “It isn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have told her no.”
Niall looked down for a slight moment before replying, “If you don’t mind me askin’, why have ya been tellin’ her no? Last time we were here, she said you told her ta same exact ting. No. Do you not want her around us?”
I looked down at my hands that were now in my lap. I felt ashamed, “Niall… You all are great people. It’s just..” I began to reel my mind for some excuse. Anything was better than my pathetic truth. What was I supposed to say, ‘I have really strong feelings toward a certain member of your band but he has a girlfriend, so I want to be as far away from him as possible?’ HA. No. That isn’t gonna happen.
I looked up at Niall, “Niall, you guys are these five super famous guys in a huge boy band. I feel like the last thing you all need is a sixteen year old girl getting in the way. You all have places to be and things to do.” It wasn’t really a lie. It was the truth, partly.
Niall rolled his eyes, “She isn’t in ta way. We enjoy her company. We enjoy your company too, ya just never come around.”
“Hey, I talk to you regularly.”
Niall chuckled, “Ya but te other boys like your company too,” he glanced over at the two boys in the doorway and I followed his gaze. Harry and Liam were both looking at us; Harry gave me a smile. Liam looked at me with a calculating gaze. His face gave nothing away. I looked back at Niall who was now smiling at me too, “So, you gonna come around more often? We’re gonna be here for a whole week.”
I looked at Niall’s face, which was full of sincerity. I was truly grateful for Niall. He has helped me so much with Ella lately when I couldn’t handle her. I owed him some of my time, that’s the least I could do. I let out a sigh, before smiling, “Okay. We’ll come around,” I held up a finger, “But you have to tell us to go if we’re in the way.”
He laughed, a grin fully spread across his face, “I guarantee you won’t be in te way, but deal.” He held his hand out to shake on it, and I slowly put my hand in his, agreeing to each others’ terms. I looked back at Niall, the moment becoming serious, “You don’t think she meant it…”
Niall frowned slightly, “Of course not. Everyone says tings they don’t mean. She’ll come around.”
I looked down at my hands again, slightly nodding my head in understanding, “Yeah, you’re right.” Niall lightly patted my knee in comfort as he rose to his feet, “I’ll go talk to her.”
When Niall walked away, Harry came to stand in his place. I looked up at Harry and noticed how much he’s changed too. His wet hair was a bit shorter and held back with a bandana. He looked like he grew at least an inch or two. A few new tattoos scattered his arms. I caught myself admiring the sparrows on his chest.
Harry put his hands in the pockets of his swim trunks and slightly cleared his throat, “So, are you going to stick around tonight? Maybe we all could order some food, watch some movies?”
My brain told me no. I didn’t want to be around Liam and feel that weird connection. But my heart told me differently. I had made a promise to Niall, and if we stayed, Ella may lay off a bit. I continued looking at Harry’s face, calculating what I really wanted to do. I hadn’t really had any fun since moving to New York… and maybe this could be fun. Maybe.
I smiled up at Harry, “Sure. Sounds like fun.” Maybe.
Harry grinned down at me, holding his hand out to help me up, which I politely received. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Liam leave the room, shoulders tense. Harry held onto my hand and led me back into the hotel and into the living room. I flopped down on the white, expensive looking sofa while Harry handed me a book full of take-out restaurants menus and numbers, “Here, pick out a place while I go change real quick.”
I awkwardly sat on the couch, flipping through the different pages. The room was extremely too quiet. Where the heck is everyone? I put the book down before getting up to snoop. The door that Harry just went through was shut but the one beside it was cracked slightly. I quietly walked over to it, peeking slightly through the crack. Niall was sitting on one of the two beds with Ella and Natalie. The girls were both fully dressed with their hair in wet clumps. Ella was wiping tears from her eyes as Niall wrapped her into a hug. My head shagged a little as guilt washed over me. Why should I feel so bad? I shouldn’t, but I do.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door before slowly pushing it open. Ella looked at me with guilt, so I knew the feelings we had were mutual, “Can you two give Ella and I a minute?”
Niall and Natalie quickly got up to leave the room. I grabbed Natalie’s arm as she passed, “Are you in much trouble?”
Natalie weakly smiled, “A bit. Grounded for a month, so I gotta head home. But it was so worth it.”
I couldn’t help myself; I let out a small laugh. I lightly squeezed her arm before turning to Ella. She had a pillow on her crossed lap. Her eyes were glued to her hands which were nervously picking at each other. I walked over to her slowly, trying to avoid stepping on the clothes that were thrown on the floor. These boys haven’t even been here a day and the place was already a mess. Figures.
I sat down on the bed beside her, quiet for a second, “I’m going to keep this short and to the point. You’re right. I shouldn’t have kept you from seeing them. I had no right. But you had no right going behind my back and nearly giving me a heart attack,” the emotions I was feeling began to show in my voice, “Ella, I was so afraid something had happened to you. It was the scariest feeling in the world, you know that? You’re all I have left and the thought of that being gone almost killed me.” The tears I was holding back from earlier started to flow over onto my cheeks. I looked over at Ella. She still wasn’t looking at me but I saw tears rolling down her face too. I lightly grabbed one of her hands and squeezed, “I won’t keep you from seeing them anymore, but don’t do that to me ever again. Please.”
When Ella looked up at me, so many emotions played on her face. It was then that I saw how broken my sixteen year old little sister really was. She was growing up without the guidance a kid needs from their parents. All she had was me, a teenager myself who was trying to learn what it takes to be an adult. Ella wrapped her arms around me, “I’m sorry too. You know I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. You just make me mad sometimes.”
I laughed, “Back at ya.” Ella pulled away, a small smile on her face, “So. I knew I smelled something.”
I narrowed my eyes, “What are you talking about?”
Her small smile became a little wider, “I knew the day you two first looked at each other, you had the hots for one another.”
My throat tightened, “Seriously, what the hell are you talking about right now?”
Ella rolled her eyes and smiled, “You have the hots for Harry! And just so you know, I am totally okay with it. You don’t have to worry about me being mad. I know that’s the reason you don’t want to be around them. I mean, I know I’m too young for him, but you aren’t, so if I can’t have him like that, I’ll take him as a brother-in-law and live vicariously through you.”
As soon as she said Harry, my jaw hit the floor, “Ella, I do not. Quit it.”
“Whatever! He has the hots for you too, I’m certain.”
This time I rolled my eyes, playfully pushing my sister into the mattress before getting up, “Yeah right. Come on, we gotta go pick out a place to get take-out.”
Ella grinned, “So we’re staying?”
I smiled back at my sister, “We’re staying.”

Notes