All Hidden Away

Tasha’s POV

I shakily walked back to the car and sat between Hazz and Liam.
“Are you okay?” asks Liam placing a platonically caring hand on my shaking ones. I nod.
“Yeah… just nervous is all.” I say quietly. Harry places his arm around my shoulder.
“About?” Asks Louis turning around to face us. I sigh and close my eyes before I smile at how stupid I sound.
“I don’t want to fuck anything up.” I say trying to not laugh at myself.
“I can’t think of a way you could.” Says Niall supportively. I open my eyes and see Niall and Louis smiling at me.
“Yeah, I mean you look… wow. You look amazing.” Says Liam trying to make me feel better.
“Excuse me, Liam.” Says Harry trying to not laugh.
“You know what I mean.” He says laughing. I smile and pull away from Hazz.
“A part of me wishes I didn’t have to stick to the Aussies and that I could just be with you guys.” I say honestly.
“We know. We’d love it too.” Says Niall. “Brothers and cousins alike.” He jokes.
“I’m sure our seats won’t be far from each other.” Says Hazz gently patting my knee. I nod and try to stay calm.
“It’s about a forty-five-minute drive to the venue. We all okay?” Asks Paul smiling through the review mirror. “Harry, do you need to pee?” He asks jokingly. We all smile and I sit back a little and watch the London streets slowly fade by. I’m not even really thinking of anything, just enjoying the view. I turn to Hazz.
“So what exactly happens when we get there?” I ask slipping my feet out of the black stilettos and crossing my one leg under the other.
“Well… uh. Normally, we walk on like a red carpet, or something. That’s where the interviewers and cameras are. Then… we walk into the venue and take our seats… then it’s the award show. Red carpet with cameras and interviews on the way out. Then we are going out for a bit of fun. But you don’t have to come if you don’t feel comfortable. But we probably, most likely, almost definitely some of us won’t be home tonight.” He says blushing slightly. I giggle.
“Hazz… I’m not fourteen. I get it… Sex.” I say laughing. This makes him blush darker and all the boys laugh hysterically.
“Just because you know about it, doesn’t mean you get it.” Jokes Louis from the front, making the boys ooh. I laugh louder.
“Fuck you, Louis!” I say slapping him on the back of his head.
“No, sorry… that’s your brother’s job.” He says super cockily. We all laugh and shake our heads.
“You may get laid in that dress though.” Says Liam shrugging. I freeze and look at him and hear Niall, Louis and Hazz all do the same.
“Excuse me, Liam.” Says Harry more seriously but I can tell he’s trying to not laugh at the fact I froze up like a board.
“No… no. Tasha I didn’t mean it like that.” He says smiling, knowing he has fucked up.
“It sure sounded like that.” Says Niall joking with him. I say nothing but just stare at him with wide eyes.
“No I just mean… agg, I just wanted to say you looked nice.” he says shaking his head. I nudge him playfully.
“I know what you meant but it doesn’t make me feel better. I feel like a skank now.” I say honestly.
“Trust me, Tasha. Out of all the girls we have spent time with. No one can call you a skank.” Says Niall laughing at me. The banter went back and forth until we got a five-minute warning and I started to get nervous again. I feel my phone vibrate and pull it out to see a message from Luke.
“Shit. They’ve been forced to go in so long. He can only meet me after the red carpet…” I say showing Hazz the message.
“That’s fine. It means you don’t have to get pictures.” Says Hazz reassuring me. I nod but still feel nervous about being alone for a short period of time.
“We can stay with you, make sure you’re okay until they free, okay?” Says Hazz placing his hand on my knee. I look down at my fiddly figures and nod. We eventually pull over and Paul opens the door to let us all out. We are met with many screams… like… many, many screams. I couldn’t even really hear Paul telling me to get out with Harry. I feel someone take my hand and regain focus when I see Harry taking my hand and pulling me out. The screams get impossibly louder when they see One Direction. Hazz doesn’t let go of my hand and pulls me to the side with the lads following us closely.
“Tasha?” Asks Hazz putting a hand on my shoulder. I look up at him. “You okay?” he asks with concern as he searches my face. I nod and clear my throat.
“Yeah, just… surprised.” I say I feel Niall put a hand on my shoulder.
“We can just stay here for a bit, okay?” he says gently. I nod.
“Sorry…”
“It’s nothing to be sorry about.” Says Louis warmly. “Anyone with a brain would hate this shit. We are fucking humans too…” he says slightly angrily.
“Hey, isn’t that Alex and Jack?” asks Liam looking off. I see Alex Gaskarth, Jack Barakat, Zack Merrick and Rian Dawson climb out a car and look around. Harry cups his hands around his mouth.
“ALEX! JACK!” he screams super loudly. Surprisingly they hear us over the other screams and start walking over.
“Hey guys!” says Alex warmly as he greats everyone. “Who is this?” he asks looking at me before extending his hand out. “Hi Love. My name’s Alex.” He says smiling genuinely.
“Tasha.” I say smiling back. Recognition dawns on his face.
“Oh, like the chick Luke’s currently seeing?” he says smiling. I nod and am introduced to everyone.
“Nice to meet you. But uh, if you don’t mind me asking why aren’t you with Luke?” asks Rian carefully.
“We are all staying at Hazza’s so I went in their car… I wasn’t ready when 5SOS had to leave.” I say lying smoothly surprising even myself. They nod in understanding. Everyone breaks off into conversations and I’m left standing slightly awkwardly playing with my freshly painted nails, trying desperately to not pick at the light pink colour.
“I heard the radio interview this morning.” Says Alex. I turn to look at him and smile. “I was very impressed you managed to keep your cool.” He says supportively. I nod.
“I was too, to be honest.” I say making him laugh slightly.
“Well, I’ve been there so… yeah. I’m guessing that’s why you aren’t sauntering over to them now, right?” he says carefully. I smile. He understands.
“Yeah. I felt uncomfortable enough in a dress and with this much makeup on, not keen on people taking pictures of me in it and then critiquing me afterwards.” I say honestly. He smiles and nods his head.
“I agree. People suck… But if it helps, once people know why you have the bruises I think people will be impressed as fuck.” He says smiling making me laugh slightly before crossing his arms across his chest and sussing out the crowds. He turns back to me. “I saw the snap about you teasing Mikey about being narcissistic and shit. We nearly died laughing.” He says smiling. I run a hand through my hair nervously.
“Yeah… I kinda didn’t want Ash to post that one. I felt so mean after I said it.”
“No man. It was brilliant.” I feel a hand on my back and look to see Hazz looking concerned.
“We have an interview we got to get to.” The lights seem to brighten and I nod taking in a deep breath.
“I’ll be fine.” I say forcing a smile. He nods and comforts me best he can without hugging me in front of hundreds of people.
“We can stay for a bit if you would like?” offers Jack looking at me with concern. I smile back.
“No, don’t stress about it. I don’t want to be a burden.” I say shaking my head.
“You think we would rather have to go smile at camera’s and laugh at bad jokes for an hour?” asks Rian smiling.
“Seriously, we wouldn’t mind.” Says Alex. “Anything for Luke’s girl.” He says shooting me a wink. I force a smile and say goodbye to the boys as the go off to an interview.
We stand talking and getting to know each other better when I get a call from Luke.
“Tasha? I just saw Harry, where are you?” he asks sounding panicked.
“Hey, yeah. I’m still by the entrance. ATL is here with me.” I say turning around to see Luke looking desperately for us. I shoot my hand in the air and wave. Ash sees me and points us out to Luke. They rush over and Luke pulls me in for a hug.
“Thank god you’re okay.” He says quietly. For a second or two I forgot we weren’t actually dating. I pull away.
“I’m fine, thanks.” I say he nods and grabs my hand in his and rubs little circles with his thumb over my knuckles comforting my instantly.
“Nice to see you too, Lucas.” Says Jack jokingly. He laughs and shakes his head.
“Thanks for staying with me.” I say pulling out of Luke’s hand to hug Alex.
“Call me if you need me, alright?” he says before we let go. I nod and smile as I say goodbye to the rest of them. They walk off to their interview and Luke takes my hand back in his.
“Are you okay?” Says Cal looking at me with raised eyebrows.
“I’m fine. Just a bit nervous is all.” Ash nods.
“That’s okay though. We need to start heading inside to find our seats. You okay with that?” he asks looking at me. I feel Luke’s grip tighten comfortingly.
“Just pretend I’m not here and do what you need to do.” I say smiling. Ash nods and we start heading inside.

Somehow. I make it inside without dying. Girls were screaming, I posed for the cameras with Luke’s arm comfortingly around my waist, people asked questions…especially about the bruises, but we eventually made it inside the venue where it was considerably quieter. Finding our seats was also challenging but we ended up sitting next to ATL. I sat between Alex and Luke and I knew I would laugh for most of the night. I saw people moving in front and I recognised the hairstyle.
“Tasha! So glad you could make it! Why aren’t you sitting with everyone else though?” asks Taylor falsely. I stand up and force myself to hug her, it turned out very awkwardly.
“Uh,” I battled to move my tongue. I’ve never been good around people I hate. Luke stands next to me and extends his hand and places his other around my waist.
“Hi, Tasha here is my date for the night.” He says smoothly. She laughs and slaps his upper arm.
“The boys let that happen? Wow.” She says looking back at me and I tried hard to not recoil from that gaze.
“Have a good night.” I say politely before taking my seat again. Luke grips my hand in his and I’m so thankful for the comfort.
“She seems nice.” Says Mikey trying to not laugh.
“Shut up, Michael.” I say rolling my eyes as I take my seat.
“How did you end up on her bad side?” Asks Jack looking at me. I swallow.
“Oh, uh… Niall’s my cousin. And I’m pretty close to the boys.” I say nodding. They all nod but I can see the doubt in their eyes.
“Natasha?” I hear another voice shout and my heart literally feels like leaping out of my chest. I turn to Luke with pleading eyes. He stands with me and we walk over to Zayn. He pulls me in for a hug and Luke let’s go of my hand so I can hug him back. My mouth is dry and I’m praying Louis isn’t anywhere close by. “I’m so glad you could make it.” I nod and try to ignore the guilt eating me alive as Luke takes me hand in his and he pulls me closer to him subtly.
“Yeah, yeah me too.” I say nodding.
“How’ve you been?” He asks and I want to cry. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to sit down and be invisible. I nod and am about to reply when I hear Cal call me.
“Tasha! Your phone is ringing!” I could kiss that boy right now.
“I’ll chat later. Good luck for the show.” I say before walking away. Cal hands me my phone and I see the call was from Ash.
“God I love you both so much right now.” I say sitting down and pretending to bring it to my ear.
“We know.” Says Michael laughing. I put down my phone and forget about Luke holding my hand as we sit and laugh at the table with ATL and 5SOS. I forget where I am even, until the lights dim and the award show begins. After the introduction made by tonight’s hosts I decide to run to the loo so I can get some fresh air before the evening proceeds. I stand up and push away from my chair slightly. Luke shoots me a quizzical look with concern covering his features. I mouth the word bathroom to him and he relaxes as I walk away from the table. I eventually find the loo and go and wash my hands and try to get Taylor and Zayn out of my mind. I leave the restroom and start making it back to where I made a mental mark the table is. 43 steps down and 19 across to my chair. I’m so focussed on where to go and to not make a fool of myself I don’t notice the camera and mic being shoved into my face before it’s too late.
“Natasha! Natasha, we have to ask you. Niall couldn’t answer us. You’re dating Luke Hemming’s right?” I nod and try to smile.
“Yes, and sorry but I’ve got to get back-”
“But you did not arrive with him… and we have video footage of when you arrived and you looked pretty close to a certain Harry Styles.”
“Well-” I try taking a step back but they follow me and I feel my heart beat pick up.
“Are you cheating on Luke with Harry?” she asks before shoving her mic into my face.
“No, no I’m not-” I say with a frown trying to regulate my breathing.
“Are you sure? It sure did look suspicious and when we asked Niall he pretty much confirmed it.” I couldn’t find my lungs to breathe air anymore. “Are the bruises from Luke? Is he abusive?” my mouth and eyes open wide in shock.
“What!? NO! I went skateboarding and fell badly-”
“So you aren’t dating Harry behind Luke’s back because he hurts you?
“”No. That’s nonsense. Excuse me, I need to go.” I say trying to side step her, but soon I’m surrounded by at least six or seven interviewers all asking me questions I can’t answer. I start seeing black spots and push past them to an emergency exit I see. I hear someone calling me but I need air. I need out. I push open the doors and walk until I can feel the cooler air on my face, but that doesn’t mean I can breathe it in. My brain shuts off to the point that if someone asked me my name I wouldn’t be able to give it to them. I walk in circles fisting my hair and trying to get my lungs to work, knowing that was all I needed. I suddenly find myself squished against a wall trying to breath as best as I can with numb hands and feet, a pounding head and a heart about to beat out of my chest.

Notes