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Love You Goodbye

I.-When You Leave, I'm Gone Again

Chapter 1- When You Leave, I’m Gone Again
Hayli Grant searched through the mail that she and her roommate had received throughout the last two weeks. They were on vacation in Miami after their summer classes at NYU had wrapped until the fall semester. The previous year had been rough on the both of them as they maxed themselves out in credits year after year to graduate a little bit earlier than they were intended to. They had both taken multiple accelerated classes during the summer that would help them graduate a semester early. Hayli was also ready to begin her internship with Michael Kors in a few weeks. Hayli was majoring in fashion design, while her roommate and best friend Mia Cassidy was majoring in Studio art.

As she opened the packet she had received with everything she needed to know about her internship, the mail under her arm fell to the floor. Cursing to herself, she bent down to pick it up.

“One Direction,” she asked as she walked into the living room. “Mia, aren’t you a little bit too old to be writing fan mail to One Direction? Aren’t they like twelve?”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t send them anything.”

Hayli rolled her eyes as she held out the envelope, “Then what the hell is this?”

“How am I supposed to know,” Mia replied opening the envelope.

“Um…maybe because it is addressed to you and it is in a huge bubble wrapped envelope. Did you order a t-shirt or something?”

Mia glared at her friend and roommate as she tore into the envelope and pulled out a piece of white paper with the chicken scratch writing she hadn’t seen since the letters to her stopped a few weeks after she arrived in New York.


It would mean the world to me if you came to the show. I know that you are probably still mad at me, but you always were one of the biggest supporters that I had. Inside this envelope are two backstage passes and two front row tickets to our show at MetLife Stadium on Saturday August 4, 2014. I really hope you come. There are two in case you wanted to bring your boyfriend or a friend. Okay, I am babbling now.

All me love,


“You fucking know the little blonde one that looked like Ellen DeGeneres before he went through puberty,” Hayli asked wide eyed.

“August 4,” Mia asked.

“Don’t change the fucking subject, you bitch, answer me.”

“That’s tomorrow.”

“Still waiting on an answer.”

“Hayli, will you shut up for a damn minute?”

Hayli smirked at her friend who barely ever raised her voice, “Ok, I will shut up for a damn minute Kujo.”

“Will you come with me?”

“To where?”

“He sent me two backstage passes and two tickets to their concert at MetLife tomorrow. Will you please come with me tomorrow? I don’t want to go alone.”

“Me? Go to a One Direction concert? Um…yeah fuck off,” Hayli laughed.

“Please,” Mia begged. “I will take you to dinner before the concert and buy you alcohol.”

“I am going to need all of the fucking alcohol I can get to sit in a stadium full of 80,000 screaming teenage girls with music that is shit. I will go on one condition, you tell me about you and Niall.”

Hayli grabbed a bottle of wine out of the refrigerator and two glasses from the cabinet above it and joined Mia on the couch. Mia sighed as she sloshed the liquid around in her glass before taking a drink.

“I don’t even know where to begin,” she said with her head down. “I guess I will start with his brother dated my sister, and we were constantly around each other. Our parents would send us on dates with them.”

“I’m sure you did play together,” Hayli mumbled causing Mia to glare at her.

“Shut up, it was nothing like that. Like I said, his brother, Greg dated my sister for a while and both Niall and I would tag along all of the time. We started leaving and just hanging out together, he kissed me once, then I got confused and he got confused. He met his ex and she made him choose between her and I. Even though they were together, we hung out all of the time.”

“So, you were his side chick?”

Mia shook her head, “No, we became best friends. We were still Niall and Mia, the two nerdy kids from Ireland who watched movies on Friday nights instead of being with our siblings like our parents told us to be. I wish I wouldn’t have given into him when he kissed me the second time.”

Hayli chugged her entire glass of wine and poured another, “This story is getting interesting, please continue. More wine?”

Mia nodded and took another sip before continuing where she left off. “Niall and I were watching a movie one Friday night. He blew his girlfriend off to hang out with me like we always did. He was sitting on the couch, I had my back to his chest. I know we shouldn’t have been as close as we were since he had a girlfriend, but it felt nice. He was like a safety blanket to me. We were halfway through the movie when I felt the smallest of kisses on the back of my neck. I felt his hands slip under the t-shirt that I was wearing, and he just had his hands on my stomach. I turned my head, and I kissed him. I had wanted to kiss him again, but I didn’t think I was prepared for what happened next.”

“You two totally fucked!”

Mia rolled her eyes, “We went to my room and he laid me down on my bed. My parents were away for the weekend, and we made out a little more then it got heated. Both of us were virgins. We are each other’s firsts. He was so nervous and afraid he was going to hurt me. He only hurt me by choosing her over me the next day. That was the last time I saw him when he left me the next morning before I woke up. He left me a note telling me how truly sorry he was, how it was a mistake and we shouldn’t have let it happen, then he wrote that we couldn’t be friends anymore.”

Hayli reached out and placed her hands on Mia’s as a tear fell down her own cheek, “You loved him, didn’t you?”

“I left Ireland after school to come here. I needed to be far from Mullingar, I felt like I was dying inside. I hadn’t heard from him until this letter. I need to go to this concert for closure, to move on from everything. I feel like it is finally my time to tell him goodbye. I honestly didn’t know what being in love was, I had never been in love.”

Hayli was looking at her phone causing Mia to growl, “Hayli, did you hear anything that I just said?”

Hayli’s eyes never left her phone, “You are going to this concert, because you need closure. You want to finally let this little blonde dork go, you think you were in love with him but you didn’t know what love was, blah blah blah; but before you do that, you need to introduce me to this fucking walking sex on legs. I think it’s Harry.”

“Hayli, you and your vagina are so fucking selfish.”

Hayli laughed, “No Harry, no concert.”

“Ok, fine, whatever. I will introduce you to Harry. Just please promise me you will support me if I want to leave early.”

“I will, I promise,” Hayli replied holding out her phone. “Look at all of these pictures though, my vagina is on fire right now.”

“You’re disgusting. I’m going to bed.”

“Goodnight, party pooper.”

“Goodnight, Hayli.”

“Why in the bloody hell are you so nervous today,” Harry Styles asked as Niall Horan as they got dressed for their concert at MetLife Stadium just outside of New York City in New Jersey.

“It’s a stadium in New York City, that’s why,” Niall lied.

“Does it have anything to do with that girl from home you sent the tickets to,” Louis Tomlinson asked as he pulled his shirt over his head.

“Shut up.”

Liam Payne looked up from what his girlfriend, Sophia was showing him on her phone, “What girl,” he asked.

“Yeah, Nialler tell us,” Zayn Malik said from the chair where he was getting his hair styled.

“A girl,” Lou Teasdale asked as she sprayed Zayn’s hair.

“Tommo, ya have the biggest mouth.”

Louis shrugged, “Whatever, they deserve to know if you don’t bring you’re A game tonight.”

Niall scratched the back of his neck before looking up at his fellow bandmates, “Her name is Mia,” he began. “She and I were best friends. Our siblings dated and it pushed us closer together because we were always forced to go with them sometimes. Long story short, she and I got too close and I made a mistake.”

“Close how,” Harry asked.

“You don’t have to answer that,” Liam said. “It’s not their business.”

Niall silently thanked his friend and excused himself from the dressing room before walking into the hallway. Sliding down against the wall, Niall pulled out the phone from his phone and called his brother despite the time difference.

“Ya do know what time it is, right,” Greg Horan asked his only brother.

“Sorry, I just needed to talk to someone.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Mom found out Mia’s address here in New York and I sent her two tickets and backstage passes to the show tonight.”

“Did she respond?”

“I didn’t leave an address or a phone number for her to contact me. She is on the list tonight.”

“How are ya going to know she is there?”

“Her seats are a few rows from the front.”

“Why don’t ya have one of ya bodyguards keep a lookout for when she gets to the stadium and they let you know when she gets there?”

“I guess that would work.”

“Niall, five minutes until show time,” a crew member called from down the hall.

“Well, I have to go. I only have five minutes until we take the stage and I still need to get me mic on.”

“Alright little brother, I will talk to ya soon. Denise says, ‘Hi’ and Theo probably wants to say it too.”

Niall laughed, “Give him a kiss for me and I will let ya know how things go.”

“Love you.”

“Love you too, Greg.”

Niall walked back into the room and sat the phone on Lou’s station. “Good luck out there,” she smiled as a crew member worked on putting Niall’s microphone on him.

“Thanks,” he smiled before rushing out the door to where the other four members were waiting.

“Look who decided to show up,” Harry said as they all joined hands. “Alright God, thanks for getting us here tonight. Protect us from all the crazy women out there and help us have a good show and let Niall get through this night regardless if his long lost friend shows up or not.”

“Amen,” three called in unison followed by an ‘Amen’ from Niall who was shaking.

The boys took the stage as the guitar intro to “Midnight Memories” blared throughout the stadium with Niall focusing anywhere but the rows to his immediate right as confirmation came through his earpiece that Mia was in fact sitting there.

“She’s here,” he mumbled to Harry.

“Fucking A,” he whispered carefully in case the microphone picked up on it.

Mia stood there taking everything in as Hayli rambled on and on about how hot Harry was, and about how she would fuck him seven days to Sunday and twice after church even though she wasn’t the virgin Mary and wasn’t very religious to begin with.

Niall finally looked over to her as he played a song that he had written that Mia was all too familiar with as the lyrics were permanently tattooed on her side. Hayli looked over at Mia as the song continued to play, “Isn’t this the tattoo you have,” she asked.

Mia nodded her head and Hayli stood there stunned. “This concert sucks,” she replied. “Thank God for two hands and two 24-ounce Miller Lites.”

Mia paid no attention to her friend as she made eye contact with Niall who froze in place for a moment, his gaze never leaving hers as he sang the chorus with 20,000 people

“I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if it's true, it's you. It's you. They add up to I'm in love with you…and all your little things.”

Mia dropped her gaze as Hayli stood next to her gaping at her. “What the fuck is happening?”

“Mia Cassidy,” a man with a British accent wearing a button down and jeans said causing Mia and Hayli to turn into his direction. Her eyes going wide at the large calla lily bouquet in his arms.

“He remembered,” she thought to herself.

“Um…yeah, that’s me” she replied snapping out of her trance.

“Mr. Horan wants to see you backstage. I was told to tell you that, ‘Running away was never an option and to not be a coward like he was.’ So please, follow me this way.” They followed him out of the stadium and into a corridor near the tunnel they came from.

“Whoa,” Hayli replied as Mia put her head down and followed the man towards a set of double doors. He knocked and said his name, the doors opened and two more men followed them.

“Why do I feel like we are in a movie ready to be sold into a prostitution ring,” Hayli asked as one of the security members laughed.

“I promise you that we are not selling you into prostitution,” one of them replied.

“Thank God.”

Mia rolled her eyes as they were lead to room where racks of clothes and Hollywood style vanities lined the wall. “Please feel free to help yourself to food or drinks. The boys have a few more songs. You can also watch the concert in the hallway if you choose.”

“Well, I am going to watch Captain Sexypants from three feet away, want to come?”

“Um…no. I am going to sit here and ask myself what the fuck is happening and why am I suddenly not hating him as much as I was when we walked into this stadium.”

“Come on, come watch the show,” Hayli replied. Mia followed closely behind and went to stand next to Hayli. It was just her luck that Niall was coming to give his guitar to a stagehand and when he looked up, he saw her.

“Mia,” he whispered running over to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“NIALL,” the other stagehand called. Niall pulled away and ran back towards the stage.

“Be right here when I get back, ok?”

Mia was frozen in place and Hayli didn’t say anything as she watched her best friend start to shake. “I’m sorry, I have to go,” she said as she began walking towards the doors marked ‘EXIT.’

“Wait for me,” Hayli called out. “You need me.”

Mia hugged her, “I’m fine, I swear. Stay! There are a 1,000 taxis out front and you want to meet Harry.”

“Harry isn’t important right now. You are ready to lose it.”

“Hayli, I’m fine. I swear. I just need to get some air and clear my head. I’ll be at home.”

“Are you sure,” Hayli asked concerned for her friend’s mental state after her encounter with Niall.

“Yes,” Mia vowed. “I’m fine. Have fun, use protection. Don’t get pregnant.”

Hayli laughed, “I know mom, I have a box of condoms in my purse.”

“You’re disgusting. Take it easy on him.”

Mia hugged Hayli one last time and left the stadium to take the subway back to the city.

Mia put the earbuds in her ears and pressed ‘play’ on her phone. She closed her eyes and felt herself getting tired. She knew it was from anxiety and stress. Her train came to a stop and Mia began the short walk back to her apartment. When she arrived, she walked the two flights of stairs and down the short hallway to her door. After fumbling with her keys, she opened the door and walked in. Locking it behind her, she sat her keys on the small kitchen table and walked to her bedroom.

Taking a deep breath, she began to get undressed. She didn’t realize she was crying as she turned the hot water on in the bathtub. She scrubbed the make-up from her face as she looked at her reflection in the mirror seeing the broken girl Niall left behind.

“FUCK HIM,” she shouted out to whoever would listen even though she was alone. She sunk herself down in the hot water and leaned her head against the wall. The cold tile shocking her into reality as she stared at the wall in front of her. She heard her phone ringing in her bedroom, but didn’t care to rush and answer it. She absentmindedly cleaned herself and wrapped herself in a towel after the water turned cold signaling that she had possibly been there for hours. Her skin pruned from the water.

Mia brushed her teeth and tied her brushed, wet hair into a ponytail. She pulled a long sleep shirt and a pair of shorts from her dresser. She had just settled onto the couch with a blanket when there was a knock at her door.

“Hayli, I swear to God if you forgot your keys again,” she muttered as she swung the door open.

Niall stood there with his hands in his pockets staring at the ground, when the door opened, he looked up and swallowed hard. “Mia.”

“Niall…,” she whispered. “What are you doing here?”

“Can I uh…come in,” he asked scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Mia thought as his blue eyes stared into hers. “I need to explain meself,” he began. “Please let me in.”

Mia sighed and took a step backwards allowing him to come inside the apartment.

“Ya left,” he said as he took his shoes off by the door.

“Yeah, I did.”


“I’m not sure if I can forgive you.”

“I’ve regretted leaving ya every single day for the few years. There isn’t a day that has gone by that I didn’t think of ya.”

“You chose her over me, Niall.”

“Your accent,” he said. “It’s only strong when ya raise your voice.”

“Why are you here,” Mia asked frustrated.

“I am still in love with ya.”

“No! You don’t get to say that.”

“It’s true.”

“Niall, stop it.”

Niall reached forward and Mia took a step back. “Don’t pull away from me.”

“Get out, please,” Mia pleaded.

“No, I don’t want to. Please let me explain meself.”

“Hayli is going to be home soon, please leave.”

Niall laughed, “Uh…yeah…I doubt that. Her and Harry were practically ready to fuck in front of all of us. She won’t be home tonight.”

“Go fucking figure,” Mia thought. “Once again Hayli thinks of herself.”

“I brought me bag,” Niall said. Sure enough, Mia looked behind him where a black Nike duffle bag sat near the door. “I room with Harry and obviously me room isn’t available tonight.”

“You are not staying here,” Mia replied.

“Please,” Niall asked. “I swear I will leave ya alone. Ya won’t even know I am here.”

“Take the couch, I’m going to bed.”

“Do ya have any food? I’m kind of hungry,” Niall asked.

“Hayli and I haven’t gone grocery shopping yet for this week.”

“Can I order food? Do ya want anything?”

“No, I’m fine.”

Just then Mia’s stomach growled causing Niall to laugh. “Ya tummy betrayed ya. I’m going to have someone bring us food. Ya can go lay down if ya want, I will come get ya.”

Mia didn’t respond and walked to her room. Laying down on her bed, Mia pulled her blanket over herself and closed her eyes. She hadn’t been asleep long when the bed dipped down.

“Mia,” Niall whispered moving her hair out of her face. “Food is here.”

“Ok,” she sleepily replied laying still with her head on the pillow.

“Want me to bring the food to ya here? Mia?”

Niall sighed as light snores came from her mouth. Niall kissed her cheek and pulled the blanket over her as he walked out to the kitchen. After devouring a whole pizza by himself, he attempted to get comfortable on the couch by finding a soccer game on the TV. He felt himself growing tired, and he knew he shouldn’t have, but he walked back down the hall to Mia’s room.

Opening the door as quietly as he could, he slipped inside and lifted the blanket. Niall slid in beside her and pulled her to him.

“Goodnight me love,” he whispered as Mia remained sleeping and Niall soon drifted off to sleep after her. He knew she was going to freak out in the morning, but for right now falling asleep next to the girl he had loved for years was better than any singing competition and any concert he had given around the world. Mia was his and he knew he would do anything to get her to love him again.


I hope you guys enjoy it! This is my first 1D fic, so be patient with me. Please comment



Ayat Ayat