Long Way Down

-Sammie

I laid there after they left for eternity- Not really, but whatever. I know we didn’t really have sex, but its still rape. I gave him no consent. I don’t care, I still feel like a slut, even though I shouldn’t.

I think I’m over reacting.

I want to tell someone so badly, but they would kill me before I could, or before they went to jail if my half was successful.

I got up and started a shower. I still have responsibilities- like the kids, they will be out of school in three hours.

In the shower I think about my life and try to think what I’ve done that’s just so terrible. I mean there must be something that I’ve done for my dad to not want me, for everyone to treat me like they do and so forth.

Nothing comes to my head. I wash up with my favorite pumpkin and spice body scrub and get out of the shower, the beads of hot water, starting to numb my skin.

Once out, I lay back down, I’m not depressed about what happened, just scared of what’s going to continue to come after this.

Will all the boys join in?

Will they go further?

Will they stop hitting me now?

Standing from my bed- In which I’m only getting lost in my imagination- I put my neon running shoes on with my black wind breaker. Going for a run sounds nice, I used to do it all the time, but stopped when my mom died because we always went together.

Well, I think it’s time to put the past behind me, it’s definitely not helping me move forward, and I think that’s the only direction I need to be heading in.

I start jogging down my road. Houses, some looking better than other ones and kids. Happy, vibrant children, playing with wand bubbles, chasing each other around and playing with multi-color chalk.

I take a right turn and head into the park, deciding to run around the loop. As I’m running, a boy my age starts running beside me. He waves and I laugh, looking down.

“Race you!?” He points to a snow-cone truck ahead of us.

“You’re on!” I shout, both of us taking off, leaving nothing behind.

We both almost arrive to the truck at the same time. I, one step ahead of him- Winning.

I put my hand alongside of the mobile truck as he squats in front of me. Both, taking a few quick breaths in.

“You know, I was supposed to win?” he laughs, squinting up at me.

“Why?” I held my hand out to help him stand properly.

“First, the name is Marc Longner. Not Longer- Longner” He said his last name annoyed, like people miss say it all the time. “And because I was going to ask you on a date for a winner’s prize.”

“Well, I think you made it a step before me.” I lied, smiling at him.

“How about you give me your number and we can meet up sometime this week?” He pulled his matte back IPhone, rimmed in gold and handed it to me.

Blushing, I take it and put it in. He looks at the contact name. “Sammie?”

I nodded my head. “I have to get going now, but I’ll see you around.” We waved off and turned in opposite directions walking away.

I jog back to my house. Thinking about my very eventful day.

Getting raped- we’ve already been over that I reasoned with myself, trying to move past that.

Jogging to relax- it worked.

Getting asked out- that’s a first around here.

I open my door up and sit down, smiling to myself. Even with the boys trying to ruin my life, things are going to work out with him. I can feel it.

I start to get giddy. I take a breath in, trying to calm down, but can’t. I never thought something like this would happen, especially on a day like this.

This morning I wanted to die. Now, I’ve never wanted to feel more alive.

Notes

thanks for reading!
l.b.