headmaster styles.
○ I Can't Have You ○
If I can’t have you, nobody can have you.
April 29, 2012
The Dahm Mansion
My arms trembled as I held myself up straight, leaning on the dining room table. It was still storming outside, so hot; so burning. “I didn’t mean for…” Harry muttered from behind me and I wiped the sweat from my forehead.
“Yeah, I know. It couldn’t have been any better though,” I complimented and he sat down beside me, making me turn my head towards him. I couldn’t even sit down I was so hot. I thought I was going to pass out.
“But I wanted it to happen. I really did,” he whispered and I turned around completely, resting my weight on the table.
“Were you just using me this time? Since I was drunk? Or was it real?” There was a hint of disgust in my tone and he stood up, standing in front of me.
“How dare you even-”
“How dare I? No. How dare you! What did you possibly think you were going to receive? My virginity? Oh wait..” I tapped my chin, “You already stole that two months ago. Have you forgot the reason? Well I sure the fuck haven’t.” I stood up straight and walked to the kitchen.
“Anastasia. I don’t want to fight with you. I just want to spend these last few days with you.” He trailed after me and I looked at him.
“These last few days? Before you get married? You should be spending these last few days with your groomsmen, not your secret mistress.” I rolled my eyes and he clenched his jaw, balling his fists.
“Why are you just now taking all of this out on me?” he rasped and I shrugged.
“I don’t know. It’s hot, I’m in the mood. All I’m wondering is why in the hell you came here to have sex with me at one in the fucking morning.” He locked eyes with me and ascended closer to me.
“You think that’s why I’m here?” he asked, swallowing.
“Isn’t it obvious?” I threw my hand up and he sighed.
“I came here to see if I could distract you from everything that’s going on. To convince you to stop the wedding...” he trailed off and my mouth dropped.
“Wow. You definitely have reassured me. See, I was expecting something like I came here to see if I could really show you how much I loved you without fucking lying. Yeah nice try, brainiac.” I rolled my eyes and made my way to the living room, walking to the stairwell.
“I do really love you Anastasia!” his voice boomed through the silent house and I snapped my body towards him.
“It’s just Penelope and Harry!” I bounced back and he cringed where he stood, “Don’t you dare look like that effected you Harry! You’re the one who said in the first damned place! You don’t have anything to worry about because it’s just Penelope and Harry. Right? Right?”
“Wrong,” he grated before stepping up beside me and kissing me harshly. I put my hands on his chest to push him away, but he guided his tongue over my bottom lip and I fluttered my eyes closed, “Every second I spend remembering that day that you found out that I sent that to Penelope, makes me want to kill everything that caused it. I hate that I did that to you. I just want you-”
“You can’t have me.” I shook my head and he smirked.
“I have you now…” he muttered and I returned the smirk.
“Well now you get what you always wanted, right? I’m your little sex toy. Isn’t that what you’ve wanted?” I laughed at myself a little and he pressed my back to the railing of the stairs.
“Goddammit Anastasia. If you don’t quit saying that shit, I’m taking your ass and we’re leaving. I don’t care where the hell we go, I’m taking you wherever the hell I can to get away from Penelope and my mother. Then I’m going to show you how much I fucking love you, no matter how much it takes to get you to really believe me,” he stopped and tears filled my eyes, “You have to believe me.”
“Sometimes I do… Sometimes I don’t,” I admitted and he sighed. “But you’re marrying Penelope. You can’t have me.”
“I can’t have you? If I can’t have you, nobody can fucking have you,” he grated and walked up the stairs, telling me to follow.
“What makes you think that anyone else would want me besides you?” I laughed a little and his shoulders tensed.
“That little fucker from London at my house wants you. He wants you so bad, and every time I hear him talk about you I want to shove his face into a brick wall. Nobody can talk about you like that without my consent Anastasia. If he wants you so fucking badly, he’ll have to go through me. And that’s a promise.” We made it to my room and I closed the door, the lightning and thunder was so bright outside that it was partially lighting up the room.
“I don’t want him though,” I muttered and he chuckled.
“Then why is he down here? Why did you go on a date with him in London? Why is it taking me everything I fucking have to push him out of my damned house?” he collapsed onto my bed and I sighed.
“Because apparently you hurt me and he wants you to pay.” I sighed again and he chuckled.
“He doesn’t even fucking know you, Anastasia. And he wants to help you like that? What the hell?” he shook his head, “Besides, I didn’t even hurt you that bad.”
I clutched the t-shirt on my body and sucked in my tears, “Yes, you did.” He sat there for a minute and I wiped at my cheeks.
“Come here,” he ordered and I crawled onto the bed, letting him pull me close to him. “I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“A bunch a promises were made between us Harry, and I just don’t know if I can trust that word for anybody anymore. I don’t even trust myself whenever I say it.” I looked up at him.
“Well you can guarantee this,” he locked his hands on my cheeks and I smiled at him, “When I marry Penelope, I’ll think of you. When I kiss Penelope, I’ll think of you. When I look at Penelope, I’ll think of you. There will not be a damned moment in that marriage when I will not think of you. I’ll think of you when I’m swimming, when I’m dancing, when I’m yelling, and when I’m smiling. Every single time I smile will be because I was thinking about you,” he kissed me softly. “I love you. Forever.”
He kissed me one more time and I smiled. “Forever?” I asked and he bit his lip.
“I promise,” he clarified. And for a tender moment, I really believed him.
April 29, 2012
The Dahm Mansion
My arms trembled as I held myself up straight, leaning on the dining room table. It was still storming outside, so hot; so burning. “I didn’t mean for…” Harry muttered from behind me and I wiped the sweat from my forehead.
“Yeah, I know. It couldn’t have been any better though,” I complimented and he sat down beside me, making me turn my head towards him. I couldn’t even sit down I was so hot. I thought I was going to pass out.
“But I wanted it to happen. I really did,” he whispered and I turned around completely, resting my weight on the table.
“Were you just using me this time? Since I was drunk? Or was it real?” There was a hint of disgust in my tone and he stood up, standing in front of me.
“How dare you even-”
“How dare I? No. How dare you! What did you possibly think you were going to receive? My virginity? Oh wait..” I tapped my chin, “You already stole that two months ago. Have you forgot the reason? Well I sure the fuck haven’t.” I stood up straight and walked to the kitchen.
“Anastasia. I don’t want to fight with you. I just want to spend these last few days with you.” He trailed after me and I looked at him.
“These last few days? Before you get married? You should be spending these last few days with your groomsmen, not your secret mistress.” I rolled my eyes and he clenched his jaw, balling his fists.
“Why are you just now taking all of this out on me?” he rasped and I shrugged.
“I don’t know. It’s hot, I’m in the mood. All I’m wondering is why in the hell you came here to have sex with me at one in the fucking morning.” He locked eyes with me and ascended closer to me.
“You think that’s why I’m here?” he asked, swallowing.
“Isn’t it obvious?” I threw my hand up and he sighed.
“I came here to see if I could distract you from everything that’s going on. To convince you to stop the wedding...” he trailed off and my mouth dropped.
“Wow. You definitely have reassured me. See, I was expecting something like I came here to see if I could really show you how much I loved you without fucking lying. Yeah nice try, brainiac.” I rolled my eyes and made my way to the living room, walking to the stairwell.
“I do really love you Anastasia!” his voice boomed through the silent house and I snapped my body towards him.
“It’s just Penelope and Harry!” I bounced back and he cringed where he stood, “Don’t you dare look like that effected you Harry! You’re the one who said in the first damned place! You don’t have anything to worry about because it’s just Penelope and Harry. Right? Right?”
“Wrong,” he grated before stepping up beside me and kissing me harshly. I put my hands on his chest to push him away, but he guided his tongue over my bottom lip and I fluttered my eyes closed, “Every second I spend remembering that day that you found out that I sent that to Penelope, makes me want to kill everything that caused it. I hate that I did that to you. I just want you-”
“You can’t have me.” I shook my head and he smirked.
“I have you now…” he muttered and I returned the smirk.
“Well now you get what you always wanted, right? I’m your little sex toy. Isn’t that what you’ve wanted?” I laughed at myself a little and he pressed my back to the railing of the stairs.
“Goddammit Anastasia. If you don’t quit saying that shit, I’m taking your ass and we’re leaving. I don’t care where the hell we go, I’m taking you wherever the hell I can to get away from Penelope and my mother. Then I’m going to show you how much I fucking love you, no matter how much it takes to get you to really believe me,” he stopped and tears filled my eyes, “You have to believe me.”
“Sometimes I do… Sometimes I don’t,” I admitted and he sighed. “But you’re marrying Penelope. You can’t have me.”
“I can’t have you? If I can’t have you, nobody can fucking have you,” he grated and walked up the stairs, telling me to follow.
“What makes you think that anyone else would want me besides you?” I laughed a little and his shoulders tensed.
“That little fucker from London at my house wants you. He wants you so bad, and every time I hear him talk about you I want to shove his face into a brick wall. Nobody can talk about you like that without my consent Anastasia. If he wants you so fucking badly, he’ll have to go through me. And that’s a promise.” We made it to my room and I closed the door, the lightning and thunder was so bright outside that it was partially lighting up the room.
“I don’t want him though,” I muttered and he chuckled.
“Then why is he down here? Why did you go on a date with him in London? Why is it taking me everything I fucking have to push him out of my damned house?” he collapsed onto my bed and I sighed.
“Because apparently you hurt me and he wants you to pay.” I sighed again and he chuckled.
“He doesn’t even fucking know you, Anastasia. And he wants to help you like that? What the hell?” he shook his head, “Besides, I didn’t even hurt you that bad.”
I clutched the t-shirt on my body and sucked in my tears, “Yes, you did.” He sat there for a minute and I wiped at my cheeks.
“Come here,” he ordered and I crawled onto the bed, letting him pull me close to him. “I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“A bunch a promises were made between us Harry, and I just don’t know if I can trust that word for anybody anymore. I don’t even trust myself whenever I say it.” I looked up at him.
“Well you can guarantee this,” he locked his hands on my cheeks and I smiled at him, “When I marry Penelope, I’ll think of you. When I kiss Penelope, I’ll think of you. When I look at Penelope, I’ll think of you. There will not be a damned moment in that marriage when I will not think of you. I’ll think of you when I’m swimming, when I’m dancing, when I’m yelling, and when I’m smiling. Every single time I smile will be because I was thinking about you,” he kissed me softly. “I love you. Forever.”
He kissed me one more time and I smiled. “Forever?” I asked and he bit his lip.
“I promise,” he clarified. And for a tender moment, I really believed him.
@xXFluffy_GruXx
bruh, Mayday Parade is killer. I'll have to listen to it and read that chapter at the same time haha.
2/21/17