After my blood turns in to alcohol

Emma's p.o.v


And so the day came. The day the two most important boys in my life would leave, oh and their doofus friends too. In many ways I have feared this day but I had built up a wall so strong around me, Louis was the only one who knew how sad I actually was. He didn’t know every little detail though, he would never leave if he did.

I woke up in Harry’s arms. He was slowly stroking my back. I felt his breath in my face, we were only a few inches apart. My chin rested on his chest. And I could feel him breathing. Slowly I looked up, looking straight in to his green eyes and receiving a smile. He is here. Right beside me. Then how come I feel so lonely? ‘’I know I was going to decide today but..’’ He began and the smile that was on my face turned in to a frown. ‘’I’m just not sure yet and it feels weird since I’m leaving’’ he whispered stroking my cheek. ‘’It’s okay’’ I said convincing. And then I lied. I lied, I lied and I lied. Because whether he said it or not he did love me. He has to. He does right? This is not just in my head. This can’t all just be in my head. ‘’Stop’’ he whispered. ‘’What?’’ I asked, ‘’you’re lying. I can tell when you lie, I know you and right now you’re lying the shit out of you’’ he sat up and stared at me. ‘’What do you want me to say Harry? That I’m happy you’re leaving?’’ I said holding in my tears. ‘’Tell me the truth?’’ He said and reached for me but I backed up. ‘’I’m holding it together the best I can, Harry. Don’t ruin this’’ I said grabbing my clothes and leaving his house. I drove all the way home before breaking down in tears hitting the steering wheel so many times my knuckles turned blue. ‘’Fuck’’ I said and screamed what felt like my lungs out. And that was just the hint of pain for the feeling that I’d get when he was gone.

I walked in the house still bawling my eyes out and walked straight to my room. It didn’t take long until Louis popped his head inside my room. ‘’Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you, now?’’ He carefully asked but I couldn’t speak. ‘’Is this about Harry?’’ I looked up at him and let out a sob. ‘’I think I lost him’’ I got out between the sobbing. Louis rushed over to my bed where I had sunken down and wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly like he would never see me again. He started rubbing my hair as I spoke again ‘’he wasn’t even mine to begin with’’
‘’Did he hurt you?’’
‘’No. He doesn’t even know I feel this way about him and he clearly doesn’t feel the same’’ I couldn’t. I just couldn’t tell him the truth. Everything I had in me just came out with those tears. Every little feeling of anger, sadness, frustration. Everything except the words of truth. If I just had hold it in until they had left. ‘’Do you want me to talk to him about it?’’ Louis asked and I shook my head ‘’it’s better this way. You’ll leave, I’ll get some closure. I’ll be fine, promise’’ I forced a smile and wiped my tears. Smiling on the outside, feeling everything break on the inside.

Harry’s p.o.v

After a tearful goodbye from my mum we were picking up Lou last. When we pulled up to their porch he was standing there with Emma. Emma. Fuck I didn't want to leave her. Not after her rushing out this morning. “Lads we need to say bye to Baby Tommo” Niall said and opened the door. I really didn't want to. Niall was the first to give her a bone crushing hug, then Liam. And when Louis hugged her she looked up and met my eyes before closing them hard and burying her face on Louis’ shoulder. “Hey don't cry Em’” he tried comforted her. I had a feeling I was the one who made her cry, I just saw it on her face. She was crying because of me. She was still crying when they let go of each other and I went in for my hug. She held on to me for dear life and I could feel her holding her breath not to let out sobs. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry” I whispered “I wish I didn't have to leave like this” she pulled away and forced a laugh “it's okay” that was one of many lies she had told regarding her feelings the last few weeks. “We need to leave” our driver said and I gave Emma a weak smile before joining the lads in the car. When the car started moving I looked back at her. She was standing there, with makeup running down her face, and waved.


Emma's p.o.v

Have you ever felt that feeling in your chest when you're really, really sad? When you're so sad that you actually feel the pain inside your chest. That's not something you just say. It's very real. And there he goes. And I loved him, I loved him, I loved him. I really loved him. And I still love him. I love him. I stood there until I could no longer see the car. Then I went back inside to my room. On my bed there now was a dark blue hoodie with a note on top. As I read it I broke down again. And this time I wasn't sure if I wanted to stand up.

''wanted you to have my favorite sweater. You can wear it if you miss me...don't forget I'm always a phone call away. H''

Notes