Only Ever You

“Oh my god!” I scream looking down at the pregnancy test I am holding in my shaking hands.
I hear knocking on the door and Luke worriedly asking if Im okay. The pregnancy test reads positive. “Oh my god! Oh my god!” I shriek. “Ashley? Whats wrong? Open the door please!” Luke begs.

I dont want to open the door, its the last thing I want to do as if by opening the door it will be confirmed but if I keep it to myself it might just go away….Oh who am I kidding!
Trembling, I reach up for the handle of the bathroom door and swing it wide open, Luke rushes in his eyes darting over me checking for visible signs that something is wrong.

“Ashley?” he asks after seeing nothing but my white, shocked face.
In answer to his question I hold up the pregnancy test, his eyes go wide with shock when he sees the pregnancy test. “Oh my god” he says “You’re…you’re pregnant?” I just nod, unable to speak. The way he is looking at me is so strange, all I want is his arms around me, something to hold onto while my world around me slowly crumbles.

He shakes his head as if clearing it, and reaches for me pulling me close to him and I hug him tight. Panic is slowly rising inside me, I can’t be a mum! Im not prepared to be a mum! Luke gently takes my arm and leads me to a chair, I sit there shell-shocked as he makes me a warm mug of sweet tea.

He pulls up a chair and sits across from me. He smiles reassuringly at me “Are you okay?” he asks quietly “No Luke” I say I am still shaking so much that he has to take the tea from my hand and place it safely on the table “This is so bad!” I stammer “I can’t have a kid, not now, especially not now” The sadness in his eyes is visible as he says softly “What do you mean Ashley not now? or not with me?”

Im so stupid. I really am typical Ashley Irwin so self centred I didn’t even realise this would be a big deal to him too, after all its going to be his child too. “Oh Luke” I sigh “Im so sorry, of course I didn’t mean it like that its just this is all happening so fast and I can’t be a mother, look at me!” “Ashley, you are many things but you have all the qualities to make an amazing mother” he says smiling at me.

I look down at my stomach, its so strange how this morning it was just that, a stomach now it carries something living, something made with love. I reach out my hand and stroke his cheek “Luke” I say “There’s no one else I would rather have a child with than you” As I say it I realise just how true it is, the timing could be better and it definitely wasn’t planned but there is no way in the world I would consider not keeping this child, our child.

Luke is smiling widely now, he reaches out his hand and softly and touches my stomach he smiles cheekily “If its a boy we are so calling him Luke junior” I giggle and swat his hand away “In your dreams Luke Robert Hemmings” he wrinkles his nose at my use of his fall name. “I love you Ashley” he says. I dont reply on purpose “Aren’t you going to say it back?” he says pretending to be offended. “No because I dont need to” I say smiling

“The proof is here” I gesture to my stomach.

Notes

So a shocking chapter!
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