Things to not hide from your boyfriend:

1. The fact that even though you said you never talk to your ex…you do
2. That you invited that same ex, formerly his best friend to a funeral without telling him
3. How happy you were to see that ex…
4. How being hugged by Calum made you all kinds of confused
5. That you dont want to move in with him…

I thought for sure the day Luke asked me to move in with him would be one of my happiest days, ever. I thought it would make our relationship stronger. So I really do not understand why when he asked me this morning I totally left him without an answer and ran out of his apartment.

I am now sitting at my house across the table from my mum who after hugging me and making me a hot drink is now giving me a stern glance across the table. “Ashley, honey I dont know if I’m missing something but you’re sad because, Luke, your boyfriend of 2 years asked you to move in with him?” she sounds indignant on Luke’s behalf.

Her putting it like that makes me sound really bad… but I just dont know why I did it. I do love Luke but it just feels kind of overwhelming right now. Its like how you look forward to something for so long and when it finally happens you just dont know. “Wait?” says my mum staring at me suspiciously “Would this have anything to do with Calum?” I inwardly cringe, what must I look like to her?

“No” I reply, too fast. She’s still looking at me strangely when I am saved by the bell “I’ll get it” I say and run to the door, anything to get away! Guilt washes over me when I see Luke at the door his hair soaked by the rain. “Thank God!” he says when he sees me. He reaches out for me and I recoil slightly from his soaking figure.

Hurt flashes in his eyes. “Ashley whats going on with you?” he says softly I look down to the floor, he reaches his hand out and gently raises my chin forcing me to meet his eyes “I dont know Luke” I say “I honestly dont, I think its just I’m not ready to move in with you yet, I’m barely independent yet I just need time to think.”

He visibly relaxes, “So thats it?” he asks sounding relieved. Tell him! Tell him! I think but instead I lie “Yes thats it.” “Okay can I hug you now?” he asks, God he is so adorable. “First dry off” I order and pull him inside but not before he wraps me into a nice but wet embrace “Get off” I squeal, he chuckles and goes into the bathroom.
My mother emerges into the corridor and though her face is smiling her eyes tell me our conversation isn’t over yet. Great, just great.

Notes

Hey guys! Hope you liked the new update!

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