Change My Mind

LOUIS

When Stefanie and Erin had walked in moments ago, Harry immediately left me standing alone and headed straight for Erin and I didn’t miss the fact that Stefanie looked over to where I was standing and then walked over to a counter on the opposite side of the room for me. As she leaned against the counter, leafing through a book of tattoo designs I allowed myself the luxury of gazing at her for a few minutes. Her soft brown hair was puddled inside the hood of her jacket, and her jeans were hugging the curve of her perfect ass. My heart skipped a beat as she turned around and caught me checking her out. I smiled sheepishly, knowing I was busted.
I hadn’t seen her in days and the second I did all I could think about was the way her body had felt underneath mine the night of the party. Who was I kidding? I hadn’t stopped thinking about that night since it happened, it consumed my thoughts. But after the way she reacted I knew that I needed to be careful. She’d told me the story about what had happened with her ex and I knew in my heart that if I pushed her too hard what little I had of her would be taken away and I couldn’t stand the thought of that happening. I was willing to take things slow, not that it wasn’t killing me not to touch her. I remembered all too well how silky that hair felt running through my fingers and how soft her lips felt against mine…
“Hey,” I sighed, walking up to her and she raised her eyebrows before replying, “Hey there. I wasn’t sure if you were going to say hi or just stand over there all day staring at my ass.”
I couldn’t stop the laugh that burst through my lips, someone was feeling feisty today.
“Well, I mean if you want me to I can go back over there and look at your ass some more,” I retorted and Stefanie’s smile widened, “Behave,” she warned giving me a mock look of anger, which reminded me…
“Listen, about the other night,” I began but she cut me off, holding her hand up between us.
“Please, let’s not go there. It won’t happen again so it’s a moot point, right?” she asked matter-of-factly. I conceded even though it literally caused me physical pain to say it, “Yep…won’t happen again.”
I took a moment to collect myself before changing the subject. There was no way I wanted to talk about the subject at hand, “So are you getting a tattoo? Or just here with Erin?”
“Erin and I are both getting a tattoo together, why?” she answered looking at me quizzically. I forced my mind back to the time that I’d seen her in the hot tub but I couldn’t seem to remember any ink on her flawless skin.
“Is it your first one?” I asked feeling genuinely curious. She shook her head ‘no’ and I found myself even more intrigued.
“I have two already,” she said and I couldn’t help but notice the slight blush that formed on her cheeks as she said it. Once again I flashed back to her in a bikini, trying to recall two tattoos on her but I was coming up with nothing.
“Stop thinking about me in a bikini,” she quipped, raising her eyebrow, challenging me and I burst out in laughter.
“I wasn’t!” I lied. She looked at me for a long moment seemingly waging whether or not she wanted to push the issue.
“Fine, I was,” I blurted out before I could stop myself, “But only because I can’t seem to remember seeing any tattoos on you.”
She took a step closer to me, leaning forward and resting her hand on my chest as she leaned in to whisper in my ear, “That’s because the bikini covered them.”
I raised my eyebrows and had to physically bite my tongue to stop myself from saying something inappropriate.
Moot point my ass.

ERIN

I couldn’t stop laughing at some of the designs that Harry was looking at. I couldn’t believe he was so willing to put such silly things on his body permanently. Harry laughed pulling me back into the here and now. He was pointing down at a tattoo of a yellow daisy and I didn’t even try to hide the disdain on my face.
“What? You don’t like that one?” he asked me sarcastically and then set one hand on his hip before asking, “Okay then Miss. Tattoo expert, what are you getting?”
“Stefanie and I are getting friendship tattoos on our ankles. It’s going to be a heart with an infinity symbol weaving through it. Something small to remind us of this amazing opportunity we have to travel the world, getting to meet some amazing new people, and having fun while we work.”
The look on Harry’s face was impressed and I wasn’t sure if I was made happy by that or offended.
“What is that look?” I asked and Harry chuckled under his breath, “I was ready for you to say like a butterfly on your back or something. I just think it’s cool that you guys are getting something like that.”
“Well, it’s kind of a permanent decision so we wanted it to be meaningful, ya know?”
“Okay, then…”he said, “…why don’t you pick what I get?”
It took me a moment to reply I was so stunned.
“What?”
“I want you to pick my new tattoo, this way I’ll always remember my new friend, Erin,” he said flashing me a boyish grin that I couldn’t help but smile back at, “Okay, you should get the daisy on your neck!”
Harry looked confused for a moment and then tried to force a smile on his face, “Really? Okay.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at Harry’s expense while at the same time feel completely astonished that he really would have gotten it just because I said to.
“No!” I laughed, shaking my head at him as I looked around the room trying to find something for him. I found a simple little cross on one of the boards on the wall across the room.
“What about this one?” I asked, reaching up and pointing to it. Harry moved behind me to get a look at it and I hated the way all of my senses heightened just because he was so close to me.
“I like it! Where should I get it?” he asked and I was afraid to even turn my head as I answered him. He was so close and I couldn’t trust my body.
“Get it anywhere you want,” I said with a shrug, stepping to the side before turning around to face him. He tapped his chin as he thought for a minute and then held his hand out to me.
“What about right here?” he asked pointing to a spot on the webbing between his thumb and pointer finger. Without thinking I reached out my finger and ran it over the skin where he had just pointed to.
“Won’t it hurt there?” I asked, when he didn’t answer right away I looked up to meet his eyes and found him staring down at me with an intense expression on his face. He swallowed loudly before answering me.
“It shouldn’t be too bad, come on, let’s go show the artist which one I want,” he said, abruptly turning away from me, leaving me to wonder what had changed his mood so quickly.


STEFANIE

“So what are you getting done?” I asked me eyeing Louis curiously. I had just finished getting my tattoo and was waiting for Erin to finish up.
He looked up and found me staring at him expectantly.
“I don’t think I’m getting anything, honestly,” he answered, meeting my eyes, “Nothing’s really jumping out at me.”
“Ahhh…gottcha,” I sighed, “So you're one of those guys that only get tattoos that hold some deep meaning to you?”
“I guess…I don’t know…maybe,” he shrugged seeming a little confused by my comment. I walked closer to him pointing my finger down at the Pac-man tattoo on his wrist, “And what exactly is the deep meaning behind Pac-man?” I asked laughing.
He chuckled quietly before answering, “I never said they were all profound.”
“Fair enough,” I laughed, attempting to lighten the mood, “Do you have any that are really special to you?”
I watched as Louis chewed on his bottom lip, looking deep in thought.
“Yeah,” he said pausing as he reached down and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. My breath caught my throat as he slowly lifted his shirt, revealing his sculpted abs and defined chest. He reached up and pointed to the number 78, which was tattooed on his left peck, “This one.”
“Hmm….What could 78 stand for?” I pondered, trying to keep my cool as Louis stood in front of me with his shirt still up.
“It’s your jersey number,” I guessed and Louis dropped his shirt, shaking his head, “Keep guessing. Actually let’s make a little wager.”
“What kind of wager?” I asked wanting to know exactly what I was getting myself into.
“You get three guesses, if you don’t guess right, you have to show me one of your tattoos,” he explained and I nodded my head in agreement, it seemed fair enough, I mean how hard could it be to guess?
“It’s the year your mom was born,” I said, throwing out another guess.
“Nope,” Louis replied, popping the ‘p’, “My mum was born in 73.”
Okay so if his mom was born in 73, there was a pretty good chance that his father was born earlier which ruled him out too. My mind was completely blank I and after minutes of nothing coming to mind I threw out a random guess, “It’s the number of girls you’ve slept with.”
Instantly Louis grabbed his stomach and doubled over laughing, “Seriously?” he asked as he continued to laugh, “Wow, Stef.”
“I couldn’t come up with anything else!” I admitted and Louis began to laugh even harder. I tried to keep a straight face but Louis was laughing so hard I couldn’t help but laugh with him. I looked around the room and realized that everyone was staring at Louis and I. I tried like hell to stop laughing but couldn’t seem to help it and either could Louis. After what felt like forever our laughter died down and I could feel the heat in my face having no doubt that I was bushing. I glanced over at Louis to see if he was even slightly as mortified as I was and just found him smirking down at me wickedly, “You lost,” he paused raising his brow, “Time to pay up.”

ERIN

Harry’s tattoo was done in like fifteen minutes. I’d sat with him while he had it done, the two of us laughing and making small talk. I was amazed at how he didn’t even react to the tiny needle being poked in and out of his hand, he just carried on our conversation, completely unfazed. The conversation amazed me as well, I couldn’t believe how easy he was to talk to when he was void of all the sexual pretense. He was charming and sweet and incredibly silly and funny.
I was about to say something when the sound of extremely loud laughter pulled my attention across the room. As I took in the sight of Stefanie and Louis carrying on like children on the other side of the tattoo parlor I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Those two are ridiculous,” Harry mumbled, pulling my attention, “They need to figure out what they are doing with each other. As far as I’m concerned all of this has already gone too far.”
I saw the panic on his face and realized that he was worried that he had said too much to me. I mean honestly he had no way of knowing how much I knew about Stefanie and Louis.
“That’s what I tried to tell Stef too,” I offered, reassuring him, “They are skating on thin ice that’s for sure.”
Just as the words left my mouth, the tattoo artist brought the needle to my foot and I couldn’t believe how painful it was. This wasn’t my first tattoo and I certainly didn’t remember the last one stinging so badly. I winced and suddenly felt the familiar warmth of Harry’s hand surrounding mine.
“Is this okay?” he asked sweetly and without hesitation I nodded my head ‘yes’. His smiled broadened with the nod of my head and I took a moment to appreciate how attractive he was. He really was gorgeous.
“The key is to focus on something other than the pain,” Harry said, pulling my attention right as that tattoo artist touched my foot again with the needle.
“Easier said than done,” I admitted, cringing as I squeezed his hand a little harder.
“Talk to me about something,” he encouraged, “Tell me about your family.”
“Well, there’s my dad,” I began eager to try his suggestion for a distraction, “He’s my best fri—holy hell that hurts!”
“Okay, that’s obviously not working,” Harry laughed, “I have another idea.”
“Ok shoot, I’m desperate here,” I whined and Harry leaned his face down closer to mine just as he was close enough that I thought he was going to kiss me, he shifted slightly leaning down to whisper in my ear, “Isn’t she lovely?” he began to sing just loud enough for me to hear and the sound of his voice sent a hot flash through my body.
“Isn’t she wonderful?” he continued and I was completely entranced by the sound of his voice. Only Harry would start singing to me in the middle of tattoo shop, just to make me feel better. My heart melted in that moment. Strangely enough as the artist finished my tattoo I didn’t feel any pain at all.


LOUIS

“Where are we going?” I asked, following Stefanie outside the side door of the tattoo parlor. She didn’t answer me right away, just grabbed my hand and continued leading me into the alleyway, stopping only a couple feet from the door we walked out from.
“Right here,” she said smiling brightly and I shook my head feeling slightly confused as I smiled down at her, “And what exactly is out here?”
“I have to show you one of my tattoos and being that the only two tattoos I have are in places I can’t really show you in a crowded room I brought you out here,” she explained. Just thinking about where her tattoos could be made me tremble with anticipation. She smiled at me shyly and I knew I needed to say something in response, “Oh…okay,” I offered lamely, not trusting my voice to stay steady if I said much more.
“Alright, but before I show you, you have to tell me what the 78 stands for,” Stefanie said, placing her hand on her hip in an attempt to look tough, which she didn’t. It just made her look even more adorable.
I laughed as I answered, “It was my Nan and Granddads house number. I really look up to them.”
I watched as her eyes softened. She was giving me that look again, that look that melted my heart completely and the worst part was she wasn’t even aware she was doing it.
“That’s sweet,” she whispered, glancing back and forth between my eyes and my mouth. She wanted to kiss me or she wanted me to kiss her, just as I leaned forward just slightly she spoke, “So, my tattoo…”
I bit down on my bottom lip, and tried to control my breathing which had become completely erratic as soon as Stefanie began unbuttoning her jeans. This girl was going to kill me. She pulled down the left side, leaving her hip completely exposed other than the thin black string of her panties revealing a treble clef tattoo on her inner hip. I knelt down in front of her to get a better look and when I looked up and met her eyes she was biting down on her bottom lip, staring at me with a hunger in her eyes that matched my own.
“That’s really nice,” I complimented swallowing loudly as I stood back up in front of her.
“Than-“she began but never got the chance to finish as I pressed my lips against hers, backing her up against the wall. She responded to me immediately a soft moan leaving her mouth as she kissed me back.
“Guys we’re done are you—“ Erin’s voice cut through the night, freezing both Stefanie and I in our tracks, “Oh shit, I’m sorry,” she mumbled and ran back into the tattoo shop.
“Erin wait,” Stefanie called, pushing me back and running after her, fixing her jeans along the way. Leaving me breathless in the alleyway. I’d lost complete control with her. I didn’t even know what came over me. I just knew I needed to get it under control.


STEFANIE

The following day was a busy one. The entire crew was traveling from London to Glasgow and once we arrived there we had to get not only the entire stage set up but do a soundcheck before the show. Needless to say I had my work cut out for me. It felt like the day went by in a blur, I hadn’t really seen or talked to anyone other than the crew since we’d arrived and even though I knew I shouldn’t be doing it I constantly found myself looking for Louis. That kiss at the tattoo place had rocked me to the very core. He’d been so sure and passionate and no matter what I was doing today my thoughts seemed to go back to it and even though it had been interrupted it still had put my on cloud nine for the day.
About a half hour after arriving back at the buses, I came out of my pod to find Erin sitting at the kitchen table of the bus.
“Whatcha up to?” I asked, plopping down on the seat next to her. She held her sketchpad out to me showing me the outfit she’d been working on.
“That’s really cute!” I exclaimed and Erin eyed me curiously.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” she asked and I shook my head smiling over at her, “What do you mean? I just like the design!” I proclaimed innocently and Erin rolled her eyes.
“I don’t doubt that you like it, you’ve always been honest about your opinions but I’ve been watching you flutter around all day. All smiles and cheerfulness even when the crew made some mistakes that you would normally flip out on them for. So spill,” she paused, chuckling, “Oh yeah…..never mind.”
“What do you mean ‘oh yeah, never mind?” I asked suspiciously.
“I just figured out the answer to my own question, of course this has to do with the kiss with Louis.”
My cheeks got hot the second the words left her mouth and I knew there was no point in denying it.
“It was one hell of a kiss,” I said with a cheesy smile and then leaned over kissing her cheek before popping back up to my feet, “I have to go run over to the arena to check something really quick. I’ll be right back.”
Erin was still shaking her head, “Way to avoid the subject. We will talk about this more later, woman!”
“I promise, we’ll talk I just really need to check this,” I said honestly, “If you want you can come with me and I’ll tell you on the way,” I offered and Erin immediately looked torn, “We’ll talk when you get back. I promise I’ll probably be sitting in the same spot. For some reason I have all these great ideas running through my head tonight and I really want to get them down before I forget them.”
“No worries,” I replied with a wink and skipped down the stairs to the bus. It wasn’t until I was jogging towards the arena that I realized I’d left my phone in my bunk. I turned around to go grab it just in time to see Harry climbing the steps to our bus. I froze in my tracks…I could live without my phone, especially if it meant allowing those two some alone time.


HARRY

As I made way into Erin and Stefanie’s bus, I had a ton of different thoughts running through my mind. I wanted to see Erin and hang out with her but I didn’t want her to take my showing up as me coming on too strong again.
“Okay, so I lied….I’m in the living room,” Erin’s voice called out and I found myself wondering who she thought she was talking to.
“I can’t sleep,” I complained walking over and taking the seat next to her on the couch, “So I figured I would come see what you were up to.”
“I thought you were, Stef,” Erin explained, “She ran over to the arena from something not too long ago,” and then glanced down to the sketchpad she was holding in front of her, “And I’m just getting some sketching in.”
She seemed to be okay with me being here, which allowed me to let out a sigh of relief. Now I just had to figure out what to talk to her about, I didn’t want to say what was running through my mind at that moment, which was how beautiful she looked tonight because I knew that would be crossing the line I wasn’t supposed to cross, so I nodded and flashed her a crooked smile, “Will you show me?” I asked hopefully.
“Well…I mean, it’s just rough sketching. It doesn’t look very good right now,” she replied and I chuckled as she hugged her sketchpad up to her chest. I turned towards her, smiling what I hoped was my most devastating smile, bit my bottom lip and leaned forward so that my forehead was only inches away from hers.
Let’s see if this works, I thought to myself.
“Please?” I murmured and I heard Erin sigh. She looked at me exasperatedly and I had to hold myself back from laughing.
“Fine…but you don’t play fair,” Erin whispered, pulling her sketch pad away from her chest. She handed it over to me and before I even flipped past the first page I was completely impressed. She was ridiculously talented. I began flipping through her sketchpad and with every page I saw I became even more blown away.
“I can’t believe you did all these….” I said, completely in awe of her in that moment.
“Yeah,” Erin said blushing slightly, “I’ve kinda been on a roll tonight. Sometimes the ideas just pop in my head out of nowhere and it’s like I can’t stop,” she explained her voice coming out in a rush as she continued to talk about her designs. I found myself wondering who had ever taken the time to listen to her talk about this before. It didn’t seem like many people had, but I had no clue why, it was intoxicating to hear her speak so passionately about something she so obviously loved.
“Show me more,” I requested, excitedly flipping to the next page, I couldn’t wait to see what she would show me next.


STEFANIE

As I entered the building I paused for a moment, watching as the crew lowered the giant steel pieces of the set onto the floor of the arena. Almost like assembling a giant puzzle, the pieces would slowly come together and take shape. Where just an hour ago there had been nothing soon there would be an enormous stage. It never ceased to amaze me how quickly and efficiently my crew was able to put it all together, show after show.
I was about to head backstage when I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye of someone sitting behind the piano that was off to the side of the stage. It didn’t take long to recognize the face of the man I’d been looking for all day but even from a distance I could see the forlorn expression on Louis’ face.
As I made my way through the jumble of crates and other equipment towards him I slowly began to recognize the opening notes to The Fray’s, ‘How to Save a Life’. I gazed from afar for a long while, watching his long arms, sleeves pushed up to his elbows, make their way back and forth over the keys. As I watched, ‘How to Save a Life’ began to transform into something else, something even more sad and melancholy. I began to move closer, attempting to be quiet and not disturb him, but ended up accidentally ramming hard into one of the crates with my knee.
“Shit!” I hissed and then looked up to see if I’d disturbed Louis. He didn’t stop playing, but he glanced over his shoulder at me, smirking slightly, not looking too surprised at my presence, or my clumsiness for that matter.
“Sorry,” I whispered after he’d turned back around. I walked up and leaned on the glossy surface of the piano, resting my chin on my arms and just simply watched as he finished the song. Somewhere towards the end, Louis looked up and caught my stare and neither one of us looked away and almost instantly I began to lose myself in his eyes. Louis continued to play, staring at me intensely the entire time. I heard one last note and then the silence between us hung heavy in the air. We continued to gaze at each other until I began to feel slightly awkward. I smiled nervously and made my way over to sit next to him. Our shoulders touched and without thinking I leaned over and rested my head against his shoulder. He still hadn’t spoken to me, which honestly was beginning to make me nervous. I’d never known him to be really quiet and his silence alone was enough to worry me.

HARRY

“I’m a complete perfectionist, which is why I’m always changing my designs,” Erin rattled on while I sat listening to her intently. I swear I could listen to her talk for hours.
“Actually I…never mind,” she stopped, blushing and averting her gaze by busying herself with closing the portfolio.
“What? Saying never mind doesn’t fly with me…come on, you can tell me anything,” I challenged, leaning forward so I could look at her face which she was deliberately trying to hid from me.
“It’s nothing…I just think sometimes the outfits could have been better designed on your guy’s tour….I mean, I just had to rush everything so much because of the time frame we had,” she replied hesitantly.
“So change it! If there is anyone in the world that believes in your artistic opinions more than I do, it’s Stefanie. She’d let you change it in a heartbeat.”
“She’s just got so much on her plate. I don’t want to add more by changing stuff up,” Erin replied shyly, “Plus who’s to say she would like the ideas. Just forget I said anything.”
I stared at Erin in disbelief for moment. Sitting next to me was a woman brimming over with talent and ability, and she couldn’t even believe in herself enough to think that her best friend would take a chance with her. I wished in that moment that she could see herself like I did, and like I knew Stefanie and the other people on the crew did. She didn’t see the beautiful, amazingly sweet, passionate woman that I saw at all.
I reached my hands up, placing one of my hands on each of her shoulders, “Erin, I know you probably won’t believe me, but you have some serious talent. And I know you think I’m biased, but everything I’ve seen today is amazing. Really.”
I watched her eyes fill with tears, and I worried that I had said something to upset her. It was hard to always know what to say around her, my brain didn’t work like it normally did when she was near me but then she smiled brightly and looped her arms around my neck into a fierce hug.
“Harry…I really needed to hear that and coming from you it, well, it just means a lot…really,” Erin stammered, before smiling once again and loosening her arms from around me, pulling away hesitantly and I could have sworn from the look in her eyes that, that was not what she had wanted to do at all.

STEFANIE

To break the uncomfortable silence I sat straight up and placed my hands on the black and white keys. I brushed my fingertips across the smooth surface, willing my brain to remember something to play. Soon it came to me and I quietly began playing, gaining more and more confidence as the seconds ticked by. It had been years since I’d played and it dawned on me then that I really missed it. I wasn’t a virtuoso or anything but my Aunt had played and had taught me a few things. Louis gaped at me, obviously taken aback by my secret piano playing ability. I could feel the heat from his gaze, and it was causing me to start to lose focus. Suddenly the memory of the song vanished from my mind, my hands paused on the keys and I willed myself to remember, but it was lost.
“Why did you stop?” Louis asked, his voice hoarse as if he hadn’t used it all day. I shrugged, feeling myself blush.
“I guess, I just forgot the rest of the song,” I replied, chancing a quick look over at his face. He was smiling but his smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. Something was definitely wrong. I didn’t want to push because honestly I didn’t know if it was my place to and I couldn’t seem to get a feel of if he really wanted me here or not.
“I guess I should go, I just came over here to check up on some things,” I said quietly, standing up quickly, knowing that if I didn’t leave now, that I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from asking him what was bothering him. I took a few steps when I felt a hand grab my wrist and pull me back. I flew backwards and landed against the piano keys, making a harsh yet beautiful sound echo around us. Louis pressed the full length of his body against mine, resting his forehead to my forehead.
“Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?” he asked and I looked away trying to avoid the intensity in his eyes.
“I know what I feel for you is wrong, but no matter how hard I try I can’t stay away from you. Fuck, I don’t even want to stay away from you. I just don’t know what to do, Stef,” Louis admitted and then pushed himself away from me, “I’m sorry. Just forget I said that.”
My heart broke for him in that moment. I knew exactly how hard it was for him because it was just as hard for me but I knew in my heart that was probably the last thing he wanted to hear right now. Without another word Louis sat down on the piano bench, burying his head in his hands. I reached up and placed my hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him and almost instantly he shrugged away from me.
“Don’t,” Louis snapped and I drew my hand back sharply completely confused by the harshness of his voice. He’d never spoken to me that way before and honestly I didn’t know how to react.
“Sorry…I…I’ll just go,” I murmured, and promptly turned on my heel and left. As I walked away I heard the sounds of that sad song resume once again, and I hoped that something, anything would bring back the Louis that I knew.

Notes

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