Change My Mind

STEFANIE

Even though I’d faced the hustle and bustle of the busy streets of New York every day for the last two years I was still amazed that I was here. I couldn’t believe that I’d managed to make it from a little blip on the map town in Pennsylvania to one of the greatest cities in the world. Not to mention the fact that I had what I felt was one of the greatest jobs in the world.
Modest! Management was a world renowned management company which handled many of the top a-list celebrities in the tabloids today and I’d managed to snag a job there only two months after my graduation from Penn State; which was completely unheard of. When I’d first arrived here I felt like a fish out of water but luckily for me I had a guy on the inside to help me grow accustom to my new lifestyle. My best friend of twenty one years, Erin Flynn, was a fashionista that knew all the ins and outs of New York City living. She’d moved here years before me when she’d gotten a full ride at F.I.T and had been working for Ralph Lauren ever since her graduation. Needless to say it didn’t take long for her to convince me to trade my Timberlands for Manolos and my plaid shirts and jeans for Chanel.
Everything seemed to be falling into place for Erin and I. But there was only one thing missing. We both were still waiting for our big breaks. We’d made it into the industries we wanted but just hadn’t reached our ultimate goals. Don’t get me wrong I’d single handedly managed several tours for B-list performers but I still hadn’t gotten the chance to break out into managing a tour for a big name celebrity; which was something I’d dreamed about for as long as I could remember.
I settled into my office and took a moment to glance down at the calendar on my desk. Most of my morning was filled with the same old same with the exception of an eleven o’clock meeting that my boss, Richard Griffiths, must have scheduled in after I’d left last night. Highlighted in bright yellow marker were two little words that had the potential to change my entire future.
One Direction
I couldn’t help the smile that formed on my face. This was the first time Richard had allowed me into a meeting with an A-list client and I was ecstatic. This wasn’t something that happened at this company and was definitely not something to be taken lightly. I had to tell Erin. Grabbing my phone from my bag, I shot her a quick text.
You would not believe who I have a meeting with in a couple hours!!! –S
A moment later Erin responded:
Well are you going to tell me who? Lol -E
Before I could even respond the sound of Erin’s ringtone began playing through my phone. I accepted the call and before I could even utter a hello. Erin began speaking, “You can’t not send me a text like that and just leave me hanging…it’s just cruel.”
“Well if you would have given me a second I was texting you back,” I laughed and when Erin didn’t respond I knew she was still waiting for an answer to her text.
“It’s One Direction!”
“Oh My God! Seriously?! That’s amazing!” Erin shouted into the phone loud enough that I had to pull it away from my ear. I was about to gush with her when the sound of a knock on my door pulled my attention.
“E, I have to go. I’ll call you back in a bit.”
After hanging up and throwing my cell phone back in to my purse, I spun my chair around to face the door to my office, calling out “Come in,” as sweetly as possible. A moment later Mr. Griffiths walked in. I greeted him with a warm smile which he didn’t return but that was normal. Richard was all business, all the time. His life was this company which in some weird way I couldn’t help but respect.
“I just wanted to stop by before the One Direction meeting and let you know why exactly you are being brought in on this account,” he began and instantly my curiosity was peeked. I hated to admit it but I’d been wondering that myself.
“Of course, sir. And before you begin I just wanted to thank you for this opportunity,” I replied respectfully. Richard offered a stiff nod of his head before continuing, “As I’m sure you know, the boys from One Direction are still fairly young. Their ages range from nineteen to twenty, so needless to say at the ripe age of sixty five…I’m a little out of the loop,” he paused, taking a moment to sit down in the arm chair in front of my desk, “You are the youngest stage manager employed here and honestly I was hoping that you would sit in on the meeting with Michael Martin and I and offer up some ideas for the tour. That way the group would feel more confident about Michael going out with them.”
I took a moment to process his words and the second I did I felt like I was going to be sick. He had no intention of giving me this job. All he wanted to do was pick my brain and use my ideas to make Michael look better. That was absolutely ridiculous. I didn’t work my ass of for this company to better someone else’s career. I just needed to be sure I wasn’t misunderstanding him, “So…I wouldn’t actually be going out on tour with them?” I asked.
Mr. Griffiths laughed, “Of course not. This is a world tour, you’re not ready for something like that.”
And with that one sentence, he managed to crush me completely.
At a quarter to eleven, I gathered all my things from my desk and steeled myself for the meeting. It’s funny how this morning the thing that had me elated was now filling me with dread. In the last couple hours since Richard left my office I’d made a decision. A decision that quite honestly would change my career forever. I absolutely refused to let anyone else benefit from my ideas. When Richard first left, I’d considered simply packing my things and walking out but after some deep thought I realized there was a way to go about this and not lose everything I’d ever worked for. I was going to play Richard’s little game. And I was going to beat him at it.
I knocked once, taking a deep breath before grabbing the handle and pushing open the door to the conference room. As I entered everyone around the large oak table stood and as I glanced at the now familiar faces, I immediately recognized Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan and Liam Payne, the five guys who all together made up the world famous group One Direction. Also sitting with them was Simon Cowell, their manager and much to my dismay, Michael Martin, the man who obviously had no problem kick starting his career on the back of someone else’s concept.
“Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to Stefanie Teller, one of our most promising new stage managers,” Richard said, by way of introduction and I had to resist the overwhelming urge to roll my eyes. I made my way around the table, taking time to shake each member’s hand.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you all,” I replied sweetly and just as I reached where Michael and Richard were sitting I forced the smile to remain plastered to my face.
“Michael,” I said robotically, with a slight nod, moving to take the seat next to him. With a shock I realized that someone was pulling the chair out for me, I glanced up and met the ice blue eyes of Louis Tomlinson.
“Thank you,” I replied with a warm smile and the boyish grin that formed on his face was so admittedly adorable that it somehow managed to break through the fog of my foul mood.
“No worries, love,” he responded with a wink, catching me completely off guard but before I could dwell on the gesture Richard spoke up and the meeting began.
As Michael and Richard began prattling off their ideas for the tour I took a moment to look around the room and take in the expressions of the band and their manager. If there was one thing I was exceptionally good at, it was reading people and judging by the collective expressions of everyone in the room, Richard and Michael had lost them about five minutes into their presentation. They were bombing and as harsh as it sounds…I couldn’t be happier.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but I mean these guys are complete wankers. Judging by what they’ve said so far I doubt as though they have even heard our music before let alone have any idea of what we would want stylistically for the tour. Correct me if I am wrong lads, but I think I can pretty well say I’m speaking for all of us when I say we are not interested.”
Before I could stop it and small chuckle escaped my lips. I braved a glance around the room, hoping that no one had heard me and luckily almost everyone was still looking at Zayn, well everyone except Louis who boldly met my eyes with same boyish smirk from earlier. With a slight blush forming on my cheeks I turned my attention away from him and back to the board room table. They were getting ready to leave and I knew it was now or never.
“Before you go, could I please just have one second of your time?” I asked, standing up from my chair. Eight pairs of eyes settled on me and eyed me curiously, contemplating whether or not they wanted to listen.
“You’ve got five minutes, the guys are completely knackered from their flight last night and don’t want to waste any more time on rubbish,” Simon said before slowly returning to his seat.

I took a deep breath before I began, “Though my colleagues are very well rounded and quite inventive in this industry, I’m sorry to say what they are failing to acknowledge is that you guys are young and new and the same played out boring old tour designs they would use for performers twice your age is just not what you guys need.” I paused glancing over at Michael and Richard with a smug smile on my face and then laid it all on the table, creating very vivid explanations for my vision for their tour.
“We could use multidimensional screens to showcase some of the landmarks in the cities you’ll be touring through,” I began and from there the ideas just flew from my mouth, everything was original and completely fresh and new.
“That’s bloody brilliant!” Louis exclaimed and I watched as the guys all nodded their heads. I couldn’t help but feel proud.
As the atmosphere in the room transformed into one of plausible excitement. I knew I’d accomplished exactly what I had set out to do.



ERIN

I looked down at the stack of orders that had just been placed on my desk, I couldn’t help but feel completely overwhelmed. After working at Ralph Lauren for two years, I’d been promoted to assistant designer of accessories. I had been thrilled when I was first hired to work under Ralph, but now…now it just felt as if something was missing. I was a fashion designer and more than anything I wanted to have creative freedom to design my own clothes; which sadly was never going to happen while I was working under someone like Ralph Lauren.
“Wow, where did these come from?” Bianca, a co-worker of mine asked, pulling me from my train of thought. I glanced over at the paper that Bianca had and realized that it was one of my sketches. It must have fallen from my portfolio when I set my bag down earlier.
“Oh, it’s nothing…just something I was messing around with,” I replied modestly, reaching up to grab the paper from Bianca, but before I could get my hand on it, someone else had gotten to it first. When I looked up, I was shocked to see Ralph Lauren standing in front of me. He never usually came down here unless it was to criticize our efforts.
“You designed this?” he asked, looking down at the sketch curiously. I felt a blush began to creep up onto my cheeks. The sketch was of an emerald green mermaid dress with a plunging neckline and halter straps with the dress sitting low on the back of the model.
I smiled up at Mr. Lauren brightly,” Yes,” I answered simply.
“Nice work,” he said with a slight nod of his head, “You’ve got potential. A few more years and maybe I’ll let you try some designs for the company.”
A couple years?!
I cringed as the thought settled in my mind. I wondered if I would last a few more years working with his company. As unrealistic as it was I wanted to start designing now. I wanted to be the one in charge. I wanted to see my designs walk the red carpet.
With a sigh, I sat back down at my desk and got back to work. I can dream more once I am home, for now, I had orders to fill, no matter how depressing the thought was.

LOUIS

As I listened to the tiny brunette stage manager throw around ideas for the tour I couldn’t help but feel taken aback by her. Ever since she’d walked into the room with the two older gentleman a while earlier, I hadn’t been able to take my eyes off her. Pretty was too weak of a word to describe her, she was stunning. Her eyes were exotic and the color of milk chocolate and she had the most adorable freckles that dotted the bridge of her nose. Her lips were a soft pink color, full and plump. The kind of lips that belong on the kind of mouth that could and would bring a man to his knees.
She was wearing a short black pencil skirt and a red button up blouse. It was the perfect outfit to drive a man crazy. Her clothes covered everything yet were tight enough that you could see every curve of her perfect body. There was something about her that was so intriguing, something about her that made it impossible for me to concentrate on anything else going on in this room.
She placed her hands on top of the desk, leaning over just enough for the top of her shirt to pucker revealing the slightest glance of what was underneath. Her breasts were perfect swells under the shirt, full and perky and were just playing peek-a-boo with me; which inevitably caused me to have to shift in my seat as my trousers became a tad too tight.
I glanced up for a moment and was surprised to find Stefanie’s eyes staring into my own. I smiled at her uncomfortably and watched as her cheeks began to flush several shades of pink as they had done earlier when I’d caught her laughing.
“Thank you again for your time,” Stefanie replied, clearing her throat and it was then that I took a moment to look around the room, realizing that not only was the meeting over but everyone else had already gotten up from their chairs.
“Right,” I said, standing up from my chair and following the rest of the guys out of the room feeling like a complete tool.
I caught up with the rest of the guys just as they were entering the large double doors of the lift.
“Look who decided to join the rest of us,” Liam snickered and I stared down at my hands attempting to ignore his comment.
“Yeah, we were takin’ bets on how long it would take you to stop staring long enough to realize the room had emptied around, yeh,” Niall added and I knew then I would never hear the end of it.
“That went better than expected,” I commented lamely, hoping bringing up the meeting would change the direction of the conversation.
“Mmmhmm,” Harry chuckled, raising his eyebrows.
“What?” I asked in a voice that I hoped was portrayed as innocent.
“No worries ‘love’, that just went so much better than expected,” Harry mocked me, doing a horrible impersonation of my voice.
I tried like hell to keep a straight face but even I knew that I was failing miserably, even so I knew I needed to keep up the façade. I’d admittedly be a liar if I tried to claim that Stefanie hadn’t caught my eye. But there was no way I was willing to admit that to the guys. Especially considering they all knew my girlfriend, Eleanor, almost as well as I did. Eleanor and I had been together since the beginning of One Direction, and she’d travelled with the band on and off since then. She’d been there for not only me but a lot of the rest of the guys too. Which…yes, made me feel even more like shit about the attention that I had paid to Stefanie.
“I don’t know what you’re getting on about,” I lied, rolling my eyes as we stepped into the parking garage, “I was just being polite.”
“Right lad, and I’m the bloody queen of England,” Liam chimed in, causing the guys to begin doubling over in laughter once again. I knew it was pointless to argue and I also knew all too well that trying to defend myself would only make me look guiltier. So I did the only thing I could think to do at the moment.
I shut my mouth.

ERIN

I was a little shocked to see Stefanie sitting at the kitchen table when I got up this morning. I’d waited up last night until well after midnight and she still hadn’t been back.
“So…what time exactly did you decide to come home last night?” I teased, pulling out the chair across the table from Stefanie.
“It was probably after one,” Stefanie admitted, taking a bite of her oatmeal before continuing, “I was trying to get together all the designs and sketches for the tour.”
“The tour?” I questioned, completely unable to keep the excitement from my voice, “You got it?!”
Stefanie smile widened before she jumped up from her seat and screamed, “I did!”
I leaped out of my own chair and ran over to her, pulling into a hug and before long the two of us began jumping around in circles, giggling like fools.
“Sit. Talk. I need details!” I yelled and listened intently as Stefanie started from the beginning, filling me in on the fact that her boss had initially asked her to sit in so he could steal her ideas and how Stefanie saw her chance and jumped on it.
“But it wasn’t until about an hour after the meeting that Richard came in to my office and had to personally deliver the news to me that Simon and the band wanted to work with us, but only if I was the one that went on tour with them! E, I swear the look on his face alone would have been enough to satisfy me. He looked so mortified. It was like the perfect revenge!!”
I stared at my friend in amazement, she’d really done it. She’d gotten herself to exactly where she wanted to be in her career and as excited as I was for her in that minute I couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of disappointment as I reflected back on my own day yesterday. Even though it was a fleeting thought, apparently my face gave me away.
“What’s wrong?” Stefanie asked, her face instantly masked with concern. I shrugged my shoulders, attempting to brush her off. I didn’t want to ruin her moment.
“Don’t try that shit with me, E,” she warned and the resolve on her face told me there was no way I was going to be able to get away with not telling her. So with a heavy sigh, I told her about my day yesterday and all about the way Mr. Lauren completely blew me off.
“I’m sure things will turn around for you soon. Just keep your head up. I’ve seen your designs and they are amazing. Your way to talented to not get discovered,” Stefanie said reassuringly. I knew deep down that she was right. I knew that my days of trying to prove myself would soon be over but I had to admit I was getting a little impatient and was ready for my day in the spotlight now.
When I walked into my office I decided to throw myself into my work, hoping desperately to distract myself from yesterday’s events and needless to say for the first couple hours of my day it worked. A knock on my office door caused me to glance up at the clock and with a little surprised I realized exactly how much time had passed. Hell, I’d really thrown myself into things.

Heather, a friend of mine as well as a co-worker on the design team for accessories department that I worked in, gently pushed the door open.
“Hey Erin, we have a new order from the ‘slave driver’. Turns out Ralph had an epiphany last night about the new summer eveningwear line,” she joked as she walked in carrying a bunch of sketches under her arm. I looked up at her and gave her a quick roll of my eyes before replying, “Greaaaaaat,” in a very sarcastic manner.
I reached for the sketches and started to go through them and my jaw nearly hit the ground. The last one in the portfolio looked way to familiar.
“What the hell is this?” I yelled, outraged at what I was looking at. In my hand I was holding a sketch of a green halter dress with a plunging neckline, a low back and a mermaid fit.
My dress! It was my freaking dress! I threw the drawing of the dress aside and started pacing back and forth. I could feel my blood pounding in my veins and honestly couldn’t remember a time in my life that I had been this angry.
How could this happen to me?
Just as Heather opened her mouth to ask me about my outburst, Bianca walked in.
“What’s going on?” she asked, obviously taking in the expression on my face. I picked back up the sketch and thrust it in Bianca’s direction, “Does this look familiar?”+++++++++
“That’s your sketch. You showed me this the other day, but it looks a little different,” Bianca said looking over at Heather with a confused expression.
Heather responded, “I just brought that in to show Erin, it is part of the new summer line. Ralph came up with the concept last night.”
As the words left Heather’s mouth, my outrage reached a whole new level. I felt like I would vomit. I was about to snap, I just knew it. I stood there in stunned silence, listening as Bianca explained to Heather that Ralph saw my version of the same dress yesterday and said I had potential.
“What are you going to do?” Heather asked.
What was I going to do? I had no idea. It may not have been one of my favorite designs but it was my design and to have the credit stolen out from underneath me was horrifying. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to get out of here….fast. Without thinking, I reached behind my desk and grabbed my portfolio and my purse and walked out of the room without a word. I was done with this company. I was done with horrible people.
I was just done.
For hours, I walked around the streets of New York trying to sort out the thoughts in my mind. Trying to figure out what my next move would be and sadly I had come up with nothing. No matter which avenue my mind I began to travel I was coming up short. I’d invested my future into working for Ralph and now that was gone and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about. I could never go back to that job. I respected myself and my work too much for that. I needed to vent to someone. I needed to have someone help me figure this out.
I needed my best friend.
My feet must have realized I need to go home before I even did because once I had made the conscious decision to go talk to Stef I was shocked to find that I was only about five blocks away. I could hear the music blasting from our apartment as soon as I rounded the corner and if I knew Stef, that meant she had already begun packing.
I walked in and laughed to myself as I watched my friend dancing around the living room, throwing her clothes into the open suite case that was lying on the couch. She froze mid pirouette as finally noticed me standing in the doorway.
“Hey chica!” She called out to me with a big smile and I couldn’t help the truly genuine smile that was now plastered to my face. But the moment of laughter faded quickly as my bad mood took me over again.
“What happened?” Stefanie asked, quickly walking over to where I was standing and pulling me into a hug. I buried my head into her shoulder and began to sob uncontrollably. This is what I needed. I just needed to let it all out and I knew there was only one person in the world that I could do that around. This is why I needed to come home. As soon as I could slow my sobs enough to speak, I unloaded the whole story on her.
“I just walked out…I couldn’t…I just couldn’t even deal with it,” I hiccupped.
“You did the right thing, E,” Stefanie soothed, “Please don’t doubt that. I know it might feel like it now, but I promise you it will all work out.”
I shifted my head on her shoulder and with a laugh she pulled away from me.
“Did you seriously just snot on me…I love you girl but damn, really?!” Stefanie joked, pulling her shirt away from her skin as she pretended to gag. We made eye contact for only a moment and then spontaneously we both burst into a fit of laughter.
Yep…this is exactly what I needed.
After our laughter finally began to die down Stefanie turned to look at me again and the determined gleam in her eye told me whatever she was about to say was going to be completely off the wall.
“Okay, no more moping! I think we need to get you out of this house and into a setting where we can both get a couple of drinks and forget all about this bad day. We need to go out and celebrate all the possibilities that lie ahead of you now.”
I wasn’t really in a celebrating mood but I knew my friend, well enough to know that there was no way in hell that Stefanie would let me sit here and feel sorry for myself. So without even putting up a fight I walked into the bedroom and began to get ready to go out.
An hour later I found myself walking through the velvet ropes of the Sutra Lounge, the hottest club in the East Village that just happened to be owned by my ex-boyfriend, Chris Jameson. We hadn’t been there in a while, but we knew it was one club in this city that we wouldn’t have to wait in line to get into on a Friday night. Even though Chris and I had broken up months ago we will still remained civil towards each other. Hell, who was I kidding there were times that we were definitely more than just ‘civil’ to each other but I wouldn’t not think about that right now. Falling back into bad habits with Chris was definitely an emotional rollercoaster that I didn’t need to get on with everything else going on.
We walked straight over to the bar and ordered a round of our favorite drinks. Purple rain was a tasty mix of white rum, blue curacao, peach schnapps, grenadine, and lemonade. I loved the way it looked like purple clouds hanging in the red of the grenadine. It also had the uncanny ability to make me feel like I could dance all night which is exactly what I planned on doing.
Two hours and several drinks later I was feeling pretty damn good and one look at Stefanie made it clear that she was feeling pretty great herself which could admittedly have something to do with the two gorgeous guys that were trying desperately to get her attention as she sipped her drink.
“Dance with me?” the blond one asked and Stefanie turned to look at me.
“Go on, woman…get your dance on,” I giggled, rolling my eyes and Stefanie held her hand out to me, trying to get me to go with her, but I just shook my head, “Me and my drink are just fine here for now,” I laughed and Stefanie began to pout.
“Go, go,” I scolded waving my hands at her and with a shrug watched as Stefanie led not only the blond to the dance floor but his brunette friend as well. It took her mere seconds to let the music take her over. I watched as her arms rose above her head and her hips began to sway to the beat. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the two guys. They were watching her every move, staring at her longingly and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was in her zone which meant she was oblivious to everyone around her.
“Finally,” a familiar voice whispered next to my ear and involuntarily my entire body went hot, “I didn’t think she’d ever leave.”
I turned back around to face the bar and immediately met Chris’s hazel eyes. He was smiling at me in that way. The way that never failed to get my undivided attention.
“You look amazing as always,” he breathed, reaching out to my arm and running the tip of his finger down the length of it. I shuddered involuntarily at his touch. I couldn’t seem to find the words thanks to the lethal combination of Chris’s knowledge of how to affect my body and the parade of cocktails I’d consumed tonight.
“Yeah, you are entirely too close right now,” Stefanie voice said a moment before I felt her lean over my back to grab my drink. I watched as she pulled the straw into her mouth as she stared at Chris like he was the biggest piece of shit in the world. If looks could kill Chris was done for.
“Stefanie,” Chris replied calmly, “Nice to see you.”
Stefanie chuckled, “Suuuure it is, buddy,” she turned her back to the bar and Chris and met my eyes, “Ready to call it?” she asked with a wink and I nodded all too aware of the fact that she was saving me from making another poor decision as far as Chris was concerned. Unfortunately at that moment I wasn’t entirely sure I was grateful for it.

Notes

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