YOU AND I

Nothing seemed to be alive to me anymore. The people passing by, the birds, even the trees. Nothing. I didn’t feel. It wasn’t like I was in denial or something, I just couldn’t feel anything anymore. No matter how hard I try, I just couldn’t. And by my side, my mom kept on talking something but nothing quite registered in my head. She was just too happy to notice that I wasn’t really paying any attention. I assured her I would be alright driving to school myself but my mom had insisted on bring me to school since it was new place and all. And I was just too tired to argue with her on that matter. And now here we were.

So, I was actually doing this. It seemed so fake, like it wasn’t really happening, like it was all just a bad dream that I just couldn’t wake up from. Weinsteid High. That was the high school my parents had enrolled me. At least for my parents’ sake, I had to try to get through this year without disappointing them. No matter how much it hurt me, I was going to pretend to move on my past, I decided. There was no other way. I could see the pain in my mother’s eyes when we had our breakfast. I had been selfish way too long. All I had ever thought about for the past few months was me and only me-how everything would had been different if only I hadn’t be soo reckless.

“Davina, you with me? Here we are, Weinsteid High, your new school. It looks great on the outside itself, don’t you think?” my mother pulled me out from my deep thoughts.

“Umm…yeah. Yeah, it is great. Thanks for the ride mom,” I smiled at her and gathered my things to face whatever that were to come.

“No, wait. Listen Dina, I’m really sorry if I’d hurt you earlier. I understand why you don’t want to know anything about him. And this change, I know it’s hard. But just shutting everyone out from your life, it’s not going to help you at all. And I really hope this school will help you to find your way back to yourself,” she said, trying hard not to cry although a few tears managed to escape from her eyes.

“No mom, really I understand. And I promise I’ll try to move on, okay. Just don’t worry. I’m okay, trust me. Now I’m running late already and I really don’t want to be late on my first day itself,” I tried reassuring her I was alright.

“Yeah, yeah alright. You sure you don’t want me to come along?”

“No, mom. I’m good. Just go home and relax. I’ll call whan school’s over,alright. Bye,“I said,getting out of the car.

“Ok, ok. Just be careful, alright. And call me if there’s any problem,”

“Yes, mom. I will. Bye,”

“Or maybe wait. Hey you, wait. My daughter here is new-,” my mom started calling a student passing by.

“What?! Mom,no!” I stopped her before she could embarass me any further. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’m cool. Thanks anyway,” I said to the random student my mom stopped.
And god, that student was apparently a guy. I didn’t quite get a good look of his face but still, great way to go. First day of school and with the help of my beloved mother, I’d successfully become the weirdo-a newbie weirdo, to be accurate. He just gave me a weird look and left, I guess. I didn’t really know. I turned back to my mom.

“Mom, it’s enough. Just go please,” I pleaded her till she left.

And when I turned back, that guy was actually still there. And he was still looking at me. Well, that freaked me out and I just quickly walked away. Right, successfully landed my place as a weirdo in my brand new school.

Notes