
Story Reviews
That_hemmings_girl Review!
That_hemmings_girl
Grade: 3
Things to work on:
-You should go through and edit your story a bit. Some of the mistakes make your story a bit hard to read. Fix ‘em up and it will make your story look more presentable and more “readable” if you know what I mean.
-I would try making your chapters just a bit longer. Gives the reader a chance to really get into the story with longer chapters.
-Your chapters have a lot of dialogue, try putting a little more description.
-I think you should find a better concept to your story. It didn’t seem like your story had a lot of depth to it and I found myself looking for that piece of your story plot that made the story interesting and unique. That one piece that made me go “This story is really unlike anything I’ve ever read before” was missing.
-The point of view changes were kinda weird for me. Sometimes you’d change the point of view and then there would only be a paragraph after.
Would I recommend this story to someone else?: No sorry. :\
slow hands by dainey
6/24/17