Don't Tell A Soul

5:59 on a Friday afternoon and I had nothing to do. Normally back in Perth, Anna and I would go to parties drink until we were shitfaced and pass out on the trampoline in Anna's back yard. My dad knows that I party like I do. In fact, we're pretty much open with the things we do. He knows that I drink; that I've got an appetite for a rush, but he doesn't know that I drink as much as I normally do. My mum howerever, has no idea that I drink whatsoever. I think if she found out I'd be dead. She was never really a party-goer when she was younger. Apparently she stayed to her books and was a nerd who sat alone at lunch. That is until she met my father. I got the party genes from my father and the cautious genes from my mother. Its kind of like a blessing in disguise.
A sudden knock at my door makes me slighly jump, pulling me out of my trance. "Hey." My father greets me, entering the room.
"Hi." I simply respond, studying his face, waiting for him to give me the reason ad to why he carried himself back here.
"Your mum has a doctor appointment today." He starts. "I know you didn't go last time, but it would mean a lot to her if you went."
I bite my lower lip, imagining how I would handle the situation. If something went wrong or if she fell and broke a bone. Just hearing any type of bad news in general would make me lose my mind. "I um.." I trail off, not really sure how to answer the question.
"Who knows how many appointments she has left." He points out. Placing his hand on my shoulder.
"What will the appointment consist of today?"
"Just normal things that she's been getting tested on." Dad shrugs.
Given that he didn't need to explain any further, I sigh in defeat, and hang my head to the floor. "Fine I'll go." I murmur.
"Say that again?" Dad smirks, placing a hand over his ear to get a better listen.
"Oh be quiet." I end up laughing. "Let me get ready and I'll meet you in the car." I declare.
Dad nods and steps forward, placing his hands on my head and sending a comforting kiss on my forehead. "You're such a strong girl, Marley."
I sigh and untangle myself from his embrace, feeling tears threatening to fall from my lids.
Without another sound, he leaves the room allowing me yo get myself prepared for whatever may be awaiting for not only myself, but my mother as well.
I smooth out the duvet on my bed, purposefully trying to save some time before I had to go. Walking over to my desk, I take a brush and run it through my hair to get the tangles out and touch up on some of my make up. When I turn around, none other than Michael himself stands in my window opposite side from me, smiling like a killer. Though he probably is one.
"Michael? What are you doing here?"
Michael licks his lips, making them a glossy shade of deep red, and nervously scratches his colorful left forearm. "Well I figured I'd let you know that if you're feeling horny over the week, I can't help you out." He grins confidently, making me forget that he ever looked nervous in the slightest.
"What the hell, Michael?" I scrunch my eyebrows together, placing my nail in between my teeth and nibbling a little, but not enough to break if off. "I don't want you. I'm not-" I lean in towards the window lowering my voice to protect my paranoia that my parents may here me. "-having sex with you again. I thought we've established this?"
Michael shrugs, not looking the least bit offended by my words. "We have. But I just didn't want you crawling to my flat only to find me not there."
Suddenly a bell rang in my head and my 'ah-ha' moment exploded into pink fluffy clouds. "Right you have to go shoot up an entire gang for a whole week. Totally forgot." I tap on the side of my head as if I was supposed to hold this detail in my brain like it was important.
Michael smiles and fakes shyness in his posture, flexing his wrist to shush me. "Yeah I'm kinda proud of what I do."
I roll my eyes at him and remember that my mum and dad were probably waiting for me in the car. "Meet me at the front." Is all I say and I close my window. I take a deep breath and step out the front door.
I kinda smirked to myself knowing that my dad would probably be wondering why an inked up teenage boy just came out from behind the house. I was correct on my part, seeing as how my dad was looking him up and down and Michael stood there with his hands crossed and placed on his lower tummy.
"Hey Marley, Mike is here. He came out from behind the house, which kind of creeps me out but.." Dad trails off, finding humor in his tone of voice. Then he turns to Michael, his humorous tone gone and the wrinkles on his forehead becoming prominent. "Seriously though, if I catch you sneaking out from behind the house again, I'll break you in half. Tattoos or not."
I look down at the ground in order to hide my smile. I know I shouldn't find it amusing but to be thruthful, I'm almost positive that Michael would snap my father first. Little did my father know.
"Well I'll see you next week, I guess." I shrug, stepping out onto the tiny stones.
"Yeah." He simply nods "Make some friends while I'm gone, eh?"
I narrow my eyes at him and give him a disgusted face. "I'll try." I exaggerate a sigh.
Then the most awkward thing happens. As Michael is laughing at my last comment, I only found it necessary to lean in for a hug. You know a normal thing people do when giving someone a final goodbye. The thing friends do without having to make it feel like a job or hassle. Maybe that's where I went wrong, maybe we weren't friends. As I'm leaning in for a hug, Michael swiftly, but discretely, nudges my shoulder with his fist saying, "Later, pal."
What happened to Perth? I mentally screamed at him.
Nevertheless, I trudge back to the car, trying to hide my light pink cheeks from my father. "Ready?" He asks.
"As I'll ever be." I put on a fake smile as I climb in the back. Once I'm settled, my smile falters wondering why on Earth he didn't want to hug me. Mainly why did I act like I cared? This is Michael we're talking about. But anyone would feel bad if they got rejected from anyone.
~~~*~~~
Once we got to the hospital, we had to go through a long line of waiting in the lobby to get called back. You'd think that because we called and had previously made an appointment, they wouldn't make us wait. That wasn't the case however. Turns out everyone in the waiting lobby had an appointment. Everyone meaning a whole bunch of people. Anyway, I think after almost 45 minutes of waiting, they called our names and ushered us back to our designated room. Mom had immediately sauntered onto the mattress they had provided and kicked up her feet, turning on her soap operas like she was already used to the process and it didn't bother her one bit. That scared me though. The fact that she didn't even know what her sickness was yet she seemed to be accepting her fate already. Almost like it didn't intrigue her to try and put up a fight.
Dad had left the room so I was sat in a chair near the door looking out the clear window into the empty hallway watching the light reflect off the linoleum floors. A sudden knock sounded at the door making my head snap in the direction as a young looking nurse enters the room. She looked startled by my exsistance at first, seeing as how I was sitting directly opposite to the door frame, but she put that point aside and gracefully stuck her hand out to me. "Hi. I don't think I've seen here before. Nice to meet you."
I cautiously grasp her hand and shake back to be polite. "You too." I nod and give what little I could of a smile. Seeing my mother laying in a hospital bed and not knowing what was wrong with her really brought my mood down. "Um I'm Marley, Becca's daughter." I motion my head to my ill struck mother.
"Nurse Bishop. But in your time of need you can call me Cindy." She winks.
I nod and analyze her deal with me. Thinking that we're already on a first name basis, I decided to skip the small talk and tender feelings and ask, "What is wrong with my mother? Do you know what she is infected with?"
'Cindy' sadly smiles at me shaking her head from side to side. "Not quite, but that's why we're here today. To get the test results. Its sweet of you to be here for your mother at a time like this. If you need anything, anything at all, please don't hesitate to call me." She takes my hand in hers and places a rough, thick piece of paper in my hand, shaped like a perfect square. On it was her seven digit number, along with an area code.
"Thanks." I half-heartedly say, crumpling the card up in my hand to my side so she wouldn't see. Nurse Bishop saunters over to my mother checking her vital signs and doing the normal things that have to be examined during a checkup. Accept this wasn't a normal checkup. This was where my mother was getting her results. Both my father and my mother knew that, but decided on not telling me and tricking me into going. I wasn't mad, though. Upset? Maybe a little. I love my mum to death, but I just feel as if I'm not strong enough to deal with this. I didn't think I was when I first got the news we were moving and I still don't now. Which is why I haven't been as involved as I should have. I can't just sit around and watch my mum slowly die, yet that feels like that's just what I'm doing.
After the nurse left, I slowly shuffled my feet over to my mum. "How're you doing?" I carefully ask, mainly to keep from hurting me than her.
"I've seen better days." She lightly chuckles resulting in the color resufaceing to her face and her eyes to twinkle in the slightest.
"Where did dad say he went?"
"Vending machines. He gets really hungry when he's at the hospital for some reason." I hum in response and stare at the tv screen looking at the media but not exactly watching. I bite on my lip as I think about the words that I want to unleash on him for taking me here in the first place. Obviously I couldn't give my mum a mouthful of words, that would be disrespectful seeing as how she's ill and all. A cold hand overlapping mine rips me from my evil plotting as I look down to see my mother staring up at me. I let go of my bottom lip which I didn't know I had between my teeth until now. "Go get him if you want. Trust me, I know you don't want to be here." She quietly says and guilt rushes into me like as isunami tide.
"No thats not it." I quickly defend, although I couldn't tell if I was lying or not. I mean I didn't want to be here right?
"I could tell you didn't want to be here the moment you step foot in the house."
"Ma!" I spat. "That is not the case at all!" Wasn't it though? "I-it's just-it's not fair that you're sick and we have go through this. I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you."
"And nothing will my dear. Now go and find your father." She nods, giving me a weak smile.
By now my blood was boiling. I couldn't wait to tear my father a new one. I mean who was to keep such a big event away from me? He knew that I wouldn't want to come so that's exactly why he didn't tell me. I wish he would've though because then I wouldn't be in this mess. I bite the inside of my right cheek in anger as I stomp past every entry way to the snack rooms. My legs start aching however as I've already covered half of the floor we were on. I huff only getting more angry that I couldn't find him. Is that why he left? Because he knew I would find out? Then again I was bound to find this out either way.
I pause for a moment and evaluate my surroundings, trying to figure out where the hell I was. In the process of doing this,I spot a rather happy couple prancing their way down the hallways. I could figure out why they'd be rejoicing though as the man places his hands on her now petite belly. A small smile creeps upon my face, wishing that I had a relationship like that. I don't even known if I ever had that. Used to I would say that Max and I are in love but under the circumstances, I don't know if I could say the same. Why would I love him if I cheated on him?
"Beautiful sight, huh?" A males voice rings through my ears causing me to turn my head in his direction. I look him up and down examining him from head to toe.
"Sure is." I give him a polite smile, turning my head back to look at the now lifeless hallway. In a way, it was like feeling my heart break. The once happy energy that illuminated the hallway had vanished and left me empty and dull. "I wish I had that." I think aloud more to myself if anything.
"Whats holding you back?" He nonchalantly questions me just like any ordinary person would do.
"Denial." I laugh, admitting it to him and myself. He laughs along with me for a second and soon enough we stand in silence again staring in thin air as if being sucked into some sort of trance.
"So what brings you here?" He wonders, stepping closer to me.
The smile I once wore faltered as I remembered why I came out here in the first place. "My mum is ill, but we don't know what it is and the doctors have been running tests to figure out what's wrong but-" I cut myself off, wondering why I was telling a complete stranger my personal issues. I gaze back up to him and decide to put him in my shoes. "What about you? Why are you here?"
"My brother was seriously injured. Got jumped by some dumbfucks. Pardon my French." He explains with no problem.
"I'm sorry. That's terrible. I hope they catch whoever did it."
"Me too. I'm also sorry about your mum. Hope she gets better."
I give him a genuine smile. Through all the thing people go through in life, its nice to see complete strangers show compassion. It sure is a good feeling. "I'd better go. I'm actually on a mission right now. I'll see you around." I wasn't going to wait for a response as I alredt started walking away, but he calls for me to wait and I turn around waiting for his reason to make me halt.
"Whats your name?" He asks with a toothy grin.
I contemplate on giving it to him, but I finally decide on, "Marley. And yourself?"
"Daren Carr." He smiles again. "What's your last name?"
"That's all you need to know." I shake my head and walk away knowing that there was no way in hell I was giving him my last name.
I picked up speed again after having my energy back to walk again. I begin my journey again finding my dad in a snack room which I'm sure by now he's back in the room with my mother and they're wondering if I bailed on them. So by now I wasn't the least bit worried that he was out here. I mean how long does it take to get a snack from a machine? Suddenly I start worrying because what if they we're giving my mother the test results right now and I wasn't there to receive them with the rest of the group. As much I didn't want to go through this process, I knew it was my place to be here for my mother because she would do the same for me, and it wouldn't be much easier. As I'm watching my shoes squeak amongst the linoleum floor I catch a glimpse of someone hunched over sitting on one of cushioned benches. Once I get a better look I realize it's my dad, and as soon as my anger built up is as fast as it subsided; he was crying.
"Dad?" I question, slowly approching him in the hopes that maybe I wasn't seeing correctly and I was calling a complete stranger by this name. I hated seeing my dad cry.
"Hey there." He jumps up quickly wiping his tears from his face with the back of his hand as if he wasn't crying. "Want some chips?" He holds up a bag of cheddar Cheetos.
"Dad were you crying?" I ignore his offer, pushing the cheesy snack away from my face.
He looks away from me and to the floor in shame, clenching and unclenching his jaw. "Dad." I whisper, crouching down to touch his shoulder.
"I don't know where I went wrong, Marley." Dad sighs in defeat, rubbing his hands over his face and sniffling every now and then. "I loved her so much, and I still do. It kills me seeing her like this. If I could've-"
"Stop." I cut him off, shaking my head in annoyance. "Look whatever happens we're still family. We have to live life like nothing is happening, because even everything happens for a reason and that's the kind of mindset we have to set for ourselves to get the through this because guess what? Life goes on. So we're going to walk in there with our heads held high and our hearts in tact because whatever those results turn out to be will only make us stronger. Now suit up and put on your big boy pants because I shouldn't be the one giving you this speech right now " I conclude, my chest heaving up and down and feeling better all the sudden.
My father's expression changed between shocked, anger, then to relief. "Thank you for saying that. Even though it should not have came from you. You're right though, whatever happens we'll...I guess you found out about the results huh?"
I nod. "That's why I was trying to find you." I sheepishly look down at my feet.
Dad claps my back with a smirk and without another word, we walk in sync to the room. Mum sits on her bed in the sane place I left her, looking just as pale as ever. A nurse and an official looking doctor with a long white coat on stands at my mother's bedside. Nurse Bishop of course checking her vitals as mum weakly smiles in response to whatever she was being asked, and the doctor with the large coat that almost went down to his feet typed away at a touch screen, while fiddling with a pen in his hand. "Ah Greg and Marley you must be." The doctor smiles a big smile reaching out his hand to my father's already out reached hand. "Nice to meet you both."
"You too." My dad respectively replies as I just nod awkwardly. It wasn't because I was shy. No, it was because I was scared.
"Test results." Both my father and well everyone in the room snap their heads in my mother's direction as she nods with the most confidence I've seen since the 3 months I've been here.
After a few moments of silence, the doctor clears his throat. "I'm Dr. Blackbore. You're mother is a strong woman and you guys are going to be just.."
I started to zone him out because I didn't want to hear the pity in his voice any longer. I know what I told my father, but to be honest I only said that because I knew that he was a strong soul. Not me. Dr. Blackbore was going on about something besides the topice-probably to cool our nerves- but I was more focused on the fact that my life was over. I couldn't grow up the rest of my life without my mother. I couldn't be motherless.
My father saunters reluctantly over to my mother's bedside clutching onto her hand and that's when I pay attention.
"...Becca, you have the beginning stages of lung cancer." I never knew that once sentence could crush my whole world forever. I swear I could hear my own father's heart shatter as we all gasp in shock. Who would've thought that this would ever happen to this family. But why us? Out of everyone in the world why my family?
"Oh Ma." I squeak as the tears roll down my cheeks.
"We'll get through this, okay?" Mum says. I could tell by her tone that she was about to cry, but she had to be strong for us. And we had to be strong for her. "I love you all."
~~~*~~~
After the terrifying news I cuddled with my mother on the bed and my father sat in a chair holding her hand. They weren't letting her leave the hospital however because they had to start her on antibiotics to help the curing process, but I already knew chances were slim of anything improving.
I knew that Anna probably wouldn't answer me since she still hasn't called me back from the last time I called. The only person I knew to go to was Max. I climb out of the car as soon as dad killed the engine, and made a b-line for Max's house. In the mist of my problems and the slight overwhelming stress I was under, I failed to realize that Max had a party going. The feeling the music thumping in my chest should've been a dead giveaway, but to my dismay I was oblivious to it all.
"Watch out, girl." A male sneered at me as I ran into him, making the contents in his cup slightly spill over the rim.
"S-sorry." I stammer, collecting myself enough to be able to talk again. "Do you have a clie where Max might be?"
"Not a chance." He shrugged like it wasn't a big deal and walked away clearly annoyed with my presence. I sigh and wipe my tears away trying to look a little less dismantled to everyone who gawked at me with bug eyes.
Weed and alcohol streamed through my nostrils, as I crunched my nose up in disgust. I never knew that he was into these types of things. I knew he liked partying, but I didn't know he liked the drugs that came along it with it. I know I don't. After a few minutes of searching, I found him in the corner laughing with a group of friends. I kind of hoped that I would catch him with another girl, you know to even the score but all I got was getting to watch him being happy and living life like I wish I could at this very moment. "Max." I rasp his name, tugging on his shirt. He didn't even acknowledge me. He swiftly shakes of his arm and continues talking about the shit I could care less about, eyeing the group of girls in front of him. "Max." I say, sternly this time.
This catches the attention of some of his male friends who smirk at me then look back at Max. "Introduce us to your girl, mate." They say to him.
"Hm?" He hums in response and looks down to me for once. I figured he'd snap out of once he saw my distraught expression but he simply looked away to the girls, back to his male friends and says, "I don't have a girl." Max looks back at me with an unreadable expression saying, "Drinks are over there, sweetie." He points to a sloppy table where I'm sure is vomit laying in a pile, holding up his solo cup.
My mouth hangs agape as I look at him in disbelief. Did this really just happen? I scoff sarcasticly and knock his cup out of his hand. "You're such a jackass!" I bellow and leave the scene not bothering to see the look on his face. I try not letting tears strike me but it was unavoidable.
As I'm about to cross the path between his house and mine, a warm hand clutch onto my bicep. "Marley wait." Max stammers clearly out of breath.
"Step the fuck back." I coldly speak.
"I'm sorry I had to say tha-"
"You didn't have to say shit! What the fuck Max?! Ever since I got here you haven't paid attention to me at all! Do you even know where I was today?! At the hospital where I found out my mum has lung cancer!" I cry, not caring anymore that tears were falling.
"I-"
"Didn't know." I finsish his sentence for him.
We both stare at each other with heaving chests, not knowing how to end this. "Marley I had to act like I didn't know you." He abruptly speaks up, cheeks flushing.
"Please do elaborate." I speak dryly, ice dripping from my words.
"Those people were from a collage I want to get into. I didn't want them to think that I was hung up on some girl. I wanted them to think I'm intelligent." He explains, looking everywhere else but my face.
"What a way to show them by throwing a party, and acting like a complete dick. You're not intelligent, Max. You try to hard to be, but you're not." I spew my words not being able to stop. "You're such a conceded prick, and it pains me that I couldn't see that before hand. All you think about is yourself. Have you even put me first once since I've been here? I mean you don't even care that my mother is in the hospital with lung cancer. All you think about is yourself." I shake my head in a disappointed manner, letting more tears steam down my face. I didn't want him staring at me any longer so I decide to go home once and for all.
"Babe." Max calls for me in a desperate manner, gaining the nerve to touch my arm again.
I jerk away quickly, deciding that saying nothing at all would cause more damage than to keep the fire burning.
A mixture of feelings hit me in the face as I step into my home. The empty feeling of lonesome and loss. "Dad?" I cry out his name.
"In here." His nasally voice calls back.
"What are we going to do?" I sob as I find him in his room in the dark. I crawl on his bed and lay beside him. "I know I gave that really awesome speech but I don't know how we're going to do it."
"We'll cope I guess." He sighs but gives a small chuckle from all the crying.
"Can you tell me about how you and mum broke up? I don't tee think I was ever informed."
"Uhm.." Dad starts. "Okay well. We used to have the fire a flames and all that, but I loved parties. I stopped for a while when you were born, but then I started it again. I stopped partying all together when we had our first big fight. It scared me because at the time I was afraid of losing her. Soon enough I just became and inconsiderate jerk who only cared about himself." He finishes his story with a long heaving sigh. "I screwed up though. Worst mistake I ever made in my life. You're lucky you got Max. You guys are perfect for each other."
Were we? Was this just a fight? The more I thought about it the more Max started sounding like my father. Maybe this was a sign, but I could save him. I can work so we don't end up like my mother and father. That also meant I would have to only be friends with Michael though. But right now I was mad at him. I didn't want to see him within a 100ft of me.
"Can I sleep with you tonight?" I ask as of I were a child, scared of a nightmare.
"Of course baby girl." Dad moves over some as I kick off my shoes leaving on the tank and yoga pants I had on. "I love you Marley. Don't you ever forget that."
"Never." I respond. "I love you too."
NOTES:
Hope you liked the update! I made it extra long since I haven't updated in forever. Plus I had a lot of ideas and I didn't want to split up the chapters.
Thank you for the wonderful comments and views and votes I've

Notes