Do You Wish It Was Me?
Are you satisfied baby, or do you wish it was me?
”Louis,” I giggled nervously, “can I open my eyes yet? You know how much I hate surprises.”
“Not yet Parker,” he told me and I could hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll let you know when you can.” He grabbed my hand to reassure me.
He had gotten me out of bed at 4:30am and shuffled me out of the house; I hadn’t even been allowed to change out of my pjs. He put me in the passenger seat of his car then ran around and got into the driver’s seat and started the car. He made me cover my eyes and bury my face in a sweatshirt he had in his car so that I couldn’t see where we were going.
“Louis,” I said, getting agitated and asking for probably the hundredth time, “can you at least give me a hint?”
“My answer is the same as all the other times; keep your eyes covered Park. I know you don’t like surprises but you’ve got to trust me and know that you’ll love what I’m doing.”
I feel us turning the corner and I can feel the road we’re driving become rougher. I turn to look at him and even though I can’t see him and he can’t see my glaring, I glared at him anyway. “Louis William Tomlinson are you taking us up a mountain?!”
I can tell he’s smiling again. “Nobody says my full name like you do, honey. And no, we’re not going up a mountain. We’ll be there in five minutes so just hold tight.” True to his word, the car stopped about five minutes later and as soon as we stopped, I asked if I could look and he told me that I had to wait until he got me out of the car. He opened my door and helped me get out of the car. He held my hand and we walked a few steps until he stopped us.
I opened my eyes and saw that we were overlooking the city. The sky was still mostly dark but I could see the beginnings of what looked like a beautiful sunrise. I turned to look at Louis and smiled, knowing that he drug me out of bed to share this with me. I threw my arms around him. “Thank you babe. I’m so glad you wanted to share this with me.”
He and I hopped up on the hood of his car. He put his arm around me and pulled me close. “I love you so much Parker.” He kissed me lightly then we settled back to watch the sun rise.
I woke with a start, completely disoriented. I took a few deep breathes and took in my surroundings. I was sitting in one of my deck chairs and had fallen asleep there. The sun was rising and the sunlight was what had woken me. “Parker, you’re not with Louis anymore. Everything was just a dream and your subconscious was trying to fuck with you and upset you,” I told myself. I kept repeating that but no matter how many times I repeated it to myself sitting in the chair, it didn’t stop a few tears from falling because I knew how things had been before all the fighting had started.
“Allison, I’ve got to tell you that you and Liam are so cute together. And you’ve got him trained so well.” Allison had been dating Liam for a few months and they were so great together. Out of all of Liam’s girlfriends that I had met, she was definitely my favorite. Because the four of us got along so well, we constantly went on double dates.
“Stop embarrassing me,” Liam said groaning, his face reddening. “And I am not trained!” Allison and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Then I looked over at Louis and he joined in on our laughter. “Whatever guys. I’m going to excuse myself and go find people that aren’t rude.”
Allison smiled and laughed as she quickly got up to follow him. Louis got up too and said that he would be right back with some drinks for us.
As he walked away his phone vibrated signaling a text. I opened the text and my mouth dropped. I couldn’t believe what I was reading.I can’t wait to see you again and You were so hot last night, fucking me against the wall were the most recent texts from some woman named Ashley. I was so hurt and upset; my vision began to blur.
“Here you go baby,” Louis set down a drink in front of me. When he noticed me with his phone he paled and swallowed quickly.
“You. Are. A. Fucking. Asshole.” I told him enunciating each word then slapping him across the face. I honestly didn’t care that we were in a bar with lots of people around.
“Wait, please just let me explain,” he said quickly.
Before I could rip into him, a bouncer came over and told us that they didn’t want any trouble and that if we were going to fight, we had to take it outside. Once we got outside, I let him have it.
“You are such a hypocritical twat! We’ve been fighting lately becauseyou thought I was cheating on you while you were on tour but here you are, fucking some other chick,” I yelled, getting in his face. “I would absolutely love to hear all your explanations about this, and how it happened, and how you’re sorry blah, blah, blah.” I was so worked up I hadn’t noticed that I had started gripping the front of his shirt tightly with both hands. When I realized it, I let go and backed up a few inches.
“Parker, I only did it because you’re never around anymore!” he shot back. “You’re always going out without me and when you are around, you’re so tired. We haven’t had sex in months!”
“Don’t you fucking dare try to make it out to be my fault. You know damn well that when I go out, they are work functions,” I shrieked at him. “I’m an entertainment and pop culture journalist and because my dad pulled strings, I’m interning with one of the best music and entertainment magazines in England. You have no fucking excuse for dicking around behind my back and you fucking know it too!”
“Oh, so you’re saying that whatshisname from work isn’t getting a little fuck from you now and then,” he sneered.
“No, he’s fucking not. But you know what, Kyle wants to. And since we’re not together anymore, Louis, Kyle’s in for a big surprise!”
I was taken from my thoughts by a comforting hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Kyle, whom I had been dating for 3 months. He looked concerned and gave me a cup of tea before sitting in the chair next to mine. “Are you okay baby? You’ve been out here awhile and I heard you crying.”
I wiped away some left over tears and tried to smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just had a bad dream and it really upset me,” I lied. “And before you ask, I don’t want to talk about it; I just want to forget about it.”
In a way, I loved Kyle. He was good to me and absolutely devoted to me. But when it came down to it, despite the fact our relationship was so volatile and unpredictable, I still loved Louis.
“Not yet Parker,” he told me and I could hear the smile in his voice. “I’ll let you know when you can.” He grabbed my hand to reassure me.
He had gotten me out of bed at 4:30am and shuffled me out of the house; I hadn’t even been allowed to change out of my pjs. He put me in the passenger seat of his car then ran around and got into the driver’s seat and started the car. He made me cover my eyes and bury my face in a sweatshirt he had in his car so that I couldn’t see where we were going.
“Louis,” I said, getting agitated and asking for probably the hundredth time, “can you at least give me a hint?”
“My answer is the same as all the other times; keep your eyes covered Park. I know you don’t like surprises but you’ve got to trust me and know that you’ll love what I’m doing.”
I feel us turning the corner and I can feel the road we’re driving become rougher. I turn to look at him and even though I can’t see him and he can’t see my glaring, I glared at him anyway. “Louis William Tomlinson are you taking us up a mountain?!”
I can tell he’s smiling again. “Nobody says my full name like you do, honey. And no, we’re not going up a mountain. We’ll be there in five minutes so just hold tight.” True to his word, the car stopped about five minutes later and as soon as we stopped, I asked if I could look and he told me that I had to wait until he got me out of the car. He opened my door and helped me get out of the car. He held my hand and we walked a few steps until he stopped us.
I opened my eyes and saw that we were overlooking the city. The sky was still mostly dark but I could see the beginnings of what looked like a beautiful sunrise. I turned to look at Louis and smiled, knowing that he drug me out of bed to share this with me. I threw my arms around him. “Thank you babe. I’m so glad you wanted to share this with me.”
He and I hopped up on the hood of his car. He put his arm around me and pulled me close. “I love you so much Parker.” He kissed me lightly then we settled back to watch the sun rise.
I woke with a start, completely disoriented. I took a few deep breathes and took in my surroundings. I was sitting in one of my deck chairs and had fallen asleep there. The sun was rising and the sunlight was what had woken me. “Parker, you’re not with Louis anymore. Everything was just a dream and your subconscious was trying to fuck with you and upset you,” I told myself. I kept repeating that but no matter how many times I repeated it to myself sitting in the chair, it didn’t stop a few tears from falling because I knew how things had been before all the fighting had started.
“Allison, I’ve got to tell you that you and Liam are so cute together. And you’ve got him trained so well.” Allison had been dating Liam for a few months and they were so great together. Out of all of Liam’s girlfriends that I had met, she was definitely my favorite. Because the four of us got along so well, we constantly went on double dates.
“Stop embarrassing me,” Liam said groaning, his face reddening. “And I am not trained!” Allison and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. Then I looked over at Louis and he joined in on our laughter. “Whatever guys. I’m going to excuse myself and go find people that aren’t rude.”
Allison smiled and laughed as she quickly got up to follow him. Louis got up too and said that he would be right back with some drinks for us.
As he walked away his phone vibrated signaling a text. I opened the text and my mouth dropped. I couldn’t believe what I was reading.I can’t wait to see you again and You were so hot last night, fucking me against the wall were the most recent texts from some woman named Ashley. I was so hurt and upset; my vision began to blur.
“Here you go baby,” Louis set down a drink in front of me. When he noticed me with his phone he paled and swallowed quickly.
“You. Are. A. Fucking. Asshole.” I told him enunciating each word then slapping him across the face. I honestly didn’t care that we were in a bar with lots of people around.
“Wait, please just let me explain,” he said quickly.
Before I could rip into him, a bouncer came over and told us that they didn’t want any trouble and that if we were going to fight, we had to take it outside. Once we got outside, I let him have it.
“You are such a hypocritical twat! We’ve been fighting lately becauseyou thought I was cheating on you while you were on tour but here you are, fucking some other chick,” I yelled, getting in his face. “I would absolutely love to hear all your explanations about this, and how it happened, and how you’re sorry blah, blah, blah.” I was so worked up I hadn’t noticed that I had started gripping the front of his shirt tightly with both hands. When I realized it, I let go and backed up a few inches.
“Parker, I only did it because you’re never around anymore!” he shot back. “You’re always going out without me and when you are around, you’re so tired. We haven’t had sex in months!”
“Don’t you fucking dare try to make it out to be my fault. You know damn well that when I go out, they are work functions,” I shrieked at him. “I’m an entertainment and pop culture journalist and because my dad pulled strings, I’m interning with one of the best music and entertainment magazines in England. You have no fucking excuse for dicking around behind my back and you fucking know it too!”
“Oh, so you’re saying that whatshisname from work isn’t getting a little fuck from you now and then,” he sneered.
“No, he’s fucking not. But you know what, Kyle wants to. And since we’re not together anymore, Louis, Kyle’s in for a big surprise!”
I was taken from my thoughts by a comforting hand on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Kyle, whom I had been dating for 3 months. He looked concerned and gave me a cup of tea before sitting in the chair next to mine. “Are you okay baby? You’ve been out here awhile and I heard you crying.”
I wiped away some left over tears and tried to smile. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just had a bad dream and it really upset me,” I lied. “And before you ask, I don’t want to talk about it; I just want to forget about it.”
In a way, I loved Kyle. He was good to me and absolutely devoted to me. But when it came down to it, despite the fact our relationship was so volatile and unpredictable, I still loved Louis.
Notes
Well, the writing bug has bitten me again and I'm in the mood to write. I can't believe how long it's been since I've written anything so don't kill me if this absolutely sucked. But I'd love to hear people's thoughts on it.And if there's enough interest in this I could even expand it into a full length story.
please u have to update...yaaasssss....UPDATE NOOOWWW
9/10/16