Summer Sky | L.T.

"Shit" I mumbled because I totally forgot I did that. This was probably not good, it also made me wonder what I had said because the way he was looking at me after I explained why I had a panic attack, he must've known something. "Double shit" that's why nobody ever slept in the same room as me even if it was a family member.

Louis ruffled me up completely, this is all the prove I needed. I need to keep some distant between the two of us, which meant I couldn't sleep with the window open anymore. "Damn it!" I whisper yelled. This would probably means no more sleep today and I didn't have to get up in at least 4 hours, so what to do? I looked outside and saw that the sun was rising. This was the perfect moment to take pictures. I quickly got dressed in shorts, bra and a tank top. I just let my hair fall down my back because there was no time to fix it.

I grabbed a bike from the shed and biked to the top that looked out over the sea. I had to hurry as the sunrise was already starting. When I arrived at the top I gasped because it was so beautiful and peaceful. I grabbed my camera and began to snap pictures of it. I was completely mesmerized that I eventually put down my camera and just sat down to watch it all unfold before my eyes. "It's beautiful isn't it?" I knew exactly who it was so I just ignored it and kept looking. Louis took a seat next to me and kept his mouth for a change, I noticed that he scooted closer. I almost said something about it but why should I. It's not like he was going to listen to me.

"You know, it's really rude to just disappear without so much as a word." I kept my eyes fixed on the sea, not wanting to see that obnoxious smirk of him. He didn't say anything though. Yeah this was going great neither of us talking to each other. I don't know why his dad thought I could help him, when I can't even talk normally to him.

"Do you want to know, what you said in your sleep?" he suddenly asked and that grabbed my attention. Of course I wanted to know that. "Yes, I would love to know what I said but you can't hold it against me, as I wasn't aware of what I was saying." It was a real miracle that I didn't stutter; at the speed I was saying that. Louis wasn't smiling though this time; he actually looked deadly serious, which probably wasn't good, shit! "You know when I asked you what happened to you and you said it was none of my business?" I nodded and urged him to continue "Well I think you had a nightmare because you kept begging them to leave you alone. That's why I was waking you up because it scared the hell out of me." I know I must look like a ghost by now as all the blood had left my face by now. I never expected to still have nightmares about that night. I still don't completely remember what had happened that faithful night but I remembered pieces and what I remembered wasn't good.

"I maybe a douchebag but that doesn't mean I will ever hurt you." Like that would make everything better. He is still a guy after all and to top it all he was a drugs addict. "Look Louis, I really don't want to talk about it, it was just a nightmare, people have them all the time, I'm no exception to that, so please just leave it alone!" I got up and started to walk to my bike "Sky wait please?" I stopped but didn't turn around. He stopped right behind me, I could feel his breath tickling softly in my neck it gave me goose bumps and I felt my breathing getting heavier thanks to his proximity.

"Can we maybe start over? I mean I can't promise I wont be an asshole but I really want to try." I really didn't want to shot him down but I just didn't know if I was ready yet. "Louis you are an addict, how on earth do you think this is going to work?" I felt the air shift between us. I know I was pushing him because instead of the warmth that was sizzling between us there was some cold now. "You don't have to rub it in my face to whole time, I will manage." I know I had hurt him but to all fairness I had never hung out with someone who was addicted. "I will hang out with you but only when you are sober." He was quiet for a few seconds, he was thinking about my offer, I was almost hoping he wouldn't take it because that would mean I had to spend time with him.

"I can try, I guess." My mouth dropped when he said that. Would he really give up drugs just to hang out with me? "Really?" he gave a low chuckle when I asked him that. "Yeah, I really want to try." I couldn't really protest anymore. "Okay."

"Okay?" I nodded and got on my bike. "I will see you around then I guess." I waved at him before going back home. Did I really just agree to hang out with him. What the hell was wrong with me, it was like I was beginning to get back to my old self and for some reason I really didn't want to fight it anymore. More important why should I fight it in the first place? I had nothing to be ashamed off right? My mind went back to the day I lost the baby and I was immediately sucked back to my depression. I had no right to feel happy after the way I behaved.

If I just stayed home that night instead of going out, as I promised my dad, then everything would've be normal but I had to listen to Mike. Everything that happened to me was my own fault. I was crying by the time I arrived at the house. I was happy to see that there was still no live. This way I could sneak into my room without being seen. There was no way I could explain my current stage. I slipped into bed after closing the window and the curtains. I grabbed my bag to get my Xanax but to my utmost horror I couldn't find the bottle. I turned the bag around and it was gone. Who had taken it? That's when I realised it could've been only one person. He wouldn't right? He didn't even know I had them in the first place.
What do I do now? I really needed them; maybe I could use a painkiller or a sleeping pill? I went snuck into my aunt's bathroom and searched in her medicine supply and I was happy to find sleeping pills, I grabbed two pills and snuck back to my won room. I took both of them and lay back in bed.

I woke up when someone dumped ice cold water onto my head. "ARE YOU CRAZY?" I screamed but I stopped immediately when I saw the worried expression on my aunt's face. I was completely disorientated and was shocked to find Louis and his dad in my room. "Why are you all here?" I was beginning to get pissed until I saw my bottle of Xanax in my aunt's hand. So she took them but when dud she do that? The only way she could have taken them was when Louis and I were both fast asleep. "Would you care to tell me why you have these?" I felt like a deer in a headlight. The way they were looking at me, judging me made me feel so small.

"I just need them sometimes." I mumbled. I didn't even dare to look at Louis because I accused him of being a drugs addict and here was my Aunt standing with MY bottle of anti depression pills. "You just need them sometimes, care to explain why?" she asked again but I was already shaking my head. She sighed and walked into my bathroom. What was she doing? I jumped out of bed and saw her unscrew the lid of the bottle above the toilet. "Marie, please don't do that." I started to run to the bathroom but Louis took hold of my arm and yanked me back. I bumped against his chest. He put his arms around me, whilst I was crying over the pills my aunt was throwing away, how pathetic was I?

"It will be all right, we will help each other, okay?" Louis was rubbing my back, trying to sooth me but there was nothing in this world that could safe me now because without those pills I had to deal with the little voices in my head who were whispering to me that I was a slut and I wasn't worthy. They would never understand.

"Sky, we will help you get back on your feet, I promise." This time it was my aunt who was talking to me but I just shut them all out. The last I saw was Louis worried eyes before everything became black.

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