Scars

"Start from the beginning, explain what happened last year too." Niall said from the doorway, still reluctant to come in.
"That was an unrelated incident." I pushed the memories back. "Zayn was there for that because he found me."
"Zayn?" Liam looked up finally. "Why were you here before us?"
"I had a lay over on my way home so your mum let me stay here. That's when all this started for me."
"So then what happened?" Niall asked almost irritated.
"How about we don't... I'd much rather focus on now, please?" I hugged my knees, my voice shaking.
"Yeah, sorry. Please explain all this." Louis said softly, sitting on the bed.
"Okay." I took a shaky breath. "But no one is allowed to speak, cry, or do anything else until I'm done talking okay?"
They all nodded and fell silent.
"Okay.. two things right now. First, I have leukemia and second.." I trail off for a second, knowing this bomb will be just as bad as the first. "Second.. I'm pregnant."
Zayn sat down automatically with his head in his hands as Niall slid down the doorframe, running a hand through his hair.
"Permission to cry?" Louis tried to joke, his voice cracking.
I nodded and just wrapped my arms around him.
"I'm sorry." I whisper.
"Don't... It's okay. I still love you." He cried into my shoulder as I held him tight.
Zayn finally snapped out of his trance and came over.
"You should've told me sooner." He whispered.
"I know.. I'm sorry." I said as I pulled him down onto the bed too. "Come on, group cuddles now."
The other boys smiled and slowly crawled onto the bed and I found myself wrapped in a pair of perfect, unblemished arms.
"Hi blondie." I whispered.
"Hey." He replied as I leaned against his warm chest.
"Everyone who isn't Niall leave.. please?" I look at them as they all get off the bed and leave, Louis reluctantly shutting the door behind him.
"I'm sorry." I say
"Don't be. Sure this isn't exactly.."
"No, I mean about Zayn. I honestly regret it a little."
"Y-you do?"
"I mean.. I think. I love him.. I think. I also love you too though."
"You love me?" He looked up.
"Didn't you know?" I smiled a bit.
"Nah, I'm too blonde to notice anything."
"Well it's true."
"But the baby.. isn't it.."
"Zayn's? Yeah. And I'm shutting him out. I don't think I want to be with him.. I'm almost positive I don't."
"But now you want me?"
"Niall, you don't understand. Zayn came around when I was losing my mind... I was so far gone I didn't even care what I was doing to myself."
"What exactly happened?" He asked gently, pulling me closer to him.
"I don't remember much. The whole thing was like an out of body experience. One minute I was fine, and the next.. I woke up in the bathroom, like I was coming out a trance. I was screaming and crying and covered in blood. This went on for days and one day.. I just couldn't break the trance. Zayn said he came in and found me, my hand still on the knife... apparently I stabbed myself." I say, shaking at the memory.
"And you can't remember doing any of it?" He said. wiping tears.
"Not a thing. I just woke up in the hospital with Zayn." I lied, looking into his blue eyes.
"Wow.." He breathed.
"Yeah, it's weird."
"So what are you gonna tell Zayn?"
"The truth. I want him in the baby's life, but I don't want to be with him."
He smiled and nodded. "Okay love.. but later. Just go to sleep, you look exhausted."
I nodded and closed my eyes, falling asleep against his chest.

Notes

I'm going to post all I have of this tonight as well as my newest story.. pregnancy is just my thing apparently. It's been in every single one of my stories on all 3 of my accounts. Super bad baby fever my whole life apparently.. since I started with Love Is Blind in the seventh grade.