ALWAYS

Darcy clung to Harry, playing with his hair and staring into his face. She was completely fascinated by him. Harry just gazed back at her. HE seemed just as intrigued by her, holding her tightly and pulling playfully on her little curls. I let out a shaky breath and gazed up at Louis.
"It will be alright, E." He murmured so no one else could hear. I nodded and held onto him a little tighter. Louis and I was a hard thing to explain. He was my best friend and my confidant. I knew sometimes it took its toll on him because his friendship with Harry had never been tighter either. There were days that I wondered how he made it through being so close to the both of us but not being able to say anything. I think that's why he enjoyed me speaking to Niall as well. Though Niall did struggle with keeping things from Harry, even when Louis and I would tell him it was for Harry's good that he didn't know.
"Enola, would you like to show us around the rest of the exhibit?" Niall asked casually. He was obviously becoming uncomfortable with the situation.
"Oh, sure. I'd love to." I stepped over to Harry and Darcy who were still in their own little world. "Darcy, sweetie, come with Mommy. We're going to show Uncle Louis around." I said with a smile when she looked at me. Darcy shook her head and gave me her mean eyes. "What? You don't want to hang out with Louis and Niall?" I asked shocked. She hugged Harry's neck resting her head on his shoulder. I looked into Harry's eyes, "Do you want to walk around with her? I can make her go to Louis." He looked so sad and disheartened. His eyes weren't as bright as they used to be and his brow seemed permanently furrowed.
He dropped his eyes away from mine quickly, "No. I'll take her. I don't mind." I nodded and turned my back to them. Brynn wrapped her arm around my waist in a friendly manner as we walked away. I sighed heavily when I heard Louis and Niall try to speak to Harry. Louis only got his name out before Harry grunted a quiet, "Leave me alone." Harry was mad at Louis and Niall. I understood it but I also asked them not to tell Harry anything.
I turned a weak smile to Brynn when she whispered, "He'll be alright. He's just in one of his moods. It happens." I just nodded and led the group to the next set of photos. The caption my father and I decided on was "And How It Changes...". The photos were all of pregnant couples, pregnant women, children, and babies. I smiled when I spotted a picture of Darcy when she was a newborn.
"God, she was the cutest when she was born." Louis smiled leaning toward the photo.
"She was perfect when she was born wasn't she?" Niall grinned as he spoke to Louis. I loved that they wanted to be around her so much. She enjoyed them. It made me feel like she was getting a family even though her father and I couldn't give her a normal one. She knew that people loved her.
"Harry. Harry. That's me!" Darcy shouted pointing at the photograph in a white frame. "That's me when I was a little tiny baby." She smiled at him.
Harry shook his head, "No. It's not."
"Yes it is. See." She pointed to picture again.
Harry made a skeptical face, "Nah, I don't think it is." Darcy folded her arms over her chest and pouted. Harry smirked and stuck his tongue out at her. She started to laugh when she realized that he was joking. I bit my lip to hide a smile. Harry was good with her.
"Everything okay, E?" Niall asked softly.
I nodded quickly, "Mom moment. Thinking about when she was that small. Now she's walking and talking and full of sass." Brynn and Sophia laughed quietly as we all heard Darcy give Harry a bit of said sass.
"At least my curls are neat." She stuck her tongue out at him.
"Mine are longer." Harry stuck his tongue out. Darcy grabbed his tongue making Harry gag a bit.
"Darcy!" I scolded her trying not to laugh as Harry made a freaked out face. She looked at me sheepishly and smiled. " Don't do that. I don't care if your cousins do it. You will not." I stated firmly.
"What in the hell do they do that for?" Harry asked with a bit of attitude. I shrugged as did Darcy. Harry looked at the wall of photographs again and I saw his face change a little. He looked almost broken and his eyes welled with tears. He quickly shook it away when he noticed Darcy looking at him with curious eyes. "Who's that?" He asked pointing to a picture of myself with my hands on my very large, pregnant stomach.
"Mommy!" Darcy exclaimed happily.
"Who's in there?" Harry pointed to my stomach in the photograph.
"Darcy!" She shouted with a giggle. Harry smiled at her. His smile actually reaching his eyes. His smile for her was not like the ones he'd been giving strangers, his friends or me.
"Hey Darcy, can you show me all the pictures of you?" Sophia asked sweetly. Darcy nodded and reached for her. Harry let her slide into Sophia's arms even though he looked upset by it. Once Darcy was settled with Sophia, the rest of the boys and Brynn all listened to her as she told them which pictures were of her. Harry just took a step forward and gazed at the photograph he asked Darcy about. I walked over to him slowly, noticing the absolute wonder in his eyes. What was he thinking about as he looked at my pregnant body? I felt Louis' hand take my wrist for a moment. I gazed up at him.
"Be gentle, E." Louis murmured. I just nodded and kept walking toward Harry. I started to think back to when I was pregnant as I watched Harry staring at the photos.


"Enola, just call him. There can't be any harm in calling him and telling him what is going on." Louis scolded me as he sat on my sofa. I looked over at him and glared. "What?" Louis snipped quietly.
I laid my hand over my stomach, "Yeah, I could call him. But what happens when he wants to be around for everything? What happens when it's not his child, Louis? What am I supposed to say to him then?" Louis frowned. He knew that I was right. "I'm not keeping him away to be mean or out of spite. I DON'T KNOW." I hated saying the words but with what the doctor was saying about a due date there wouldn't be a way to know without a test.
"So when she's born, get a test. Then you can call him and tell him, "hey, we had a baby". Then let him decided what to do." Niall suggested.
"What so when it shows that Charles is her dad, he can take her from me? No. I'd rather just not know. If I don't know I can keep her safe. If I don't know..." I trailed off.
"You can't feel guilty?" Louis asked with an attitude.
I glared at Louis again, "He's not ready for this anyway. He is too busy touring and doing whatever it is that he is doing."
"Bullshit, Enola. You're not ready for this either." Louis grunted.
"I don't have a choice, Louis. I don't. But I know that I can give her a life that is as close to perfect as I can. It is just better this way. We don't need to know." I stated softly, looking down at my growing stomach. I ran my hand over my belly a few times, attempting to comfort myself.
"Keep telling yourself that." Niall muttered under his breath.


As I gazed upon Harry's contemplative face, I regretted never finding out. He looked so taken by the photos in front of him. In that moment I wanted so badly to know what he thought of my daughter. I wanted to know if he really found her so adorable. If he really thought she was as precious as he made it seem. Did he just appear to love her because she was mine? I needed to know. He didn't even know that I was standing next to him until I whispered his name faintly.

Notes