ALWAYS

Lou walked into the room we were using to get dressed nonchalantly. I smiled brightly at her, proud of myself for not having touched my hair yet. I looked behind her to see Perrie walking in with a smile. I inhaled deeply. We were getting close to the time to get the party started as Enola would say. I tried to even my breathing.
"Hey, good job, Harry." Lou commended me on my hair still being perfect.
"I have to stay perfect. Perfect woman needs me to be looking my absolute best." I beamed at her.
"She thinks you're perfect when your hair is a fuckin' mess and your naked!" Louis shouted from the other end of the room. Everyone agreed with a chuckle.
"How do you guys know so much about this? It's creepy." I shuddered a bit.
"You two aren't nearly as sneaky or quiet as you think you are." Perrie snickered as she walked toward me with Freddie in her arms. "You look so handsome. You should see your Mrs.-To- Be." Perrie murmured as she kissed my cheek.
"I can't wait. I feel like I am going to pass out already." I replied shyly.
"No. No passing out. If you pass out, Enola will freak out then we're all going to be in trouble." Liam sounded genuinely worried.
Perrie adjusted my tux slightly, "Everything is going to be just perfect, love." I nodded slowly, trying to ease my own nerves. She kissed my cheek one more time then bounced out of the room with Freddie giggling in her arms.
"Alright, you, come here." Lou motioned Niall over when she saw that he'd messed his hair up.
"Hey Lou, what's Noli doing that you guys aren't with her?" I asked softly after a moment thinking it was weird that she wasn't with her.
"Gianna asked for sometime with Enola. She's probably helping her get into her dress and they're talking about things that mothers and daughters talk about." Lou replied with a shrug. I inhaled deeply, feeling my stomach drop. "She was happy, Haz. Gianna was crying about how happy E looks and how she can tell she means what she's saying this time." Lou informed me. I nodded slowly once again.



I stood at the head of the isle, waiting was killing me. I wanted Enola to walk out and towards me like I had been dreaming of since the moment I met her. I tapped my foot anxiously and stuck my hands in my pockets. I could hear Louis laughing behind me. I snapped my head around quickly to look at him.
"Come here you, fool. You're messing up your tux." Louis said making me turn to him. He went about straightening my tie and fixing my jacket. "Calm down, Harry. You know she loves you and this is what she wants too." Louis assured me.
"I know, Louis. I've just been waiting for this for seven years. I want it done." I grumbled at him.
Louis laughed, "I know, Harry. I know." I nodded and tried to steady my breathing. There was another ten minutes before I would actually get to see her walk toward me. I frowned when I looked over at my mother and saw her struggling with Atlas. I sighed and stepped down from my designated spot. I smiled at my mother and reached out for my son.
"Oh, honey, I got it. If he spits up, it'll ruin your tux." My mother said still struggling to hold onto my wiggling son.
"Give him here." I laughed. I didn't care about the tux. Atlas was tired and needed to relax. "He'll be asleep soon." I assured my mother as I lifted him from her arms. My mother sighed like she was irritated with me. "Mum, I'm marrying his mother. I really don't think that she's going to be upset if I'm holding our baby." I chuckled. My mum nodded and relaxed into Robin's side. I cradeled my son close and kissed his forehead. I smiled when he yawned and his eyes shut. As I held him tighter, Atlas pressed his tiny cheek to my chest and let out a soft sigh of content. His chest began to rise and fall as though he were asleep. I laughed quietly, "Just like your mother." Louis peeked over my shoulder and laughed as well. I gently began to stroke his cheek with my index finger the way Enola always did to him and Darcy when they were asleep on her. Atlas let out a small puff of breath making me laugh again.

I was brought out of the trance caused by my child when I heard my name. I looked up to see Sophia looking worried.
"Harry, I need you." Sophia murmured. I lifted my eyebrow with concern. "Please." She was begging.
"Is something wrong?" I asked quietly.
"Darcy is losing her mind." Sophia stated for just enough people to hear. I found it odd that Sophia was coming for me when Enola was better at dealing with Darcy's temper tantrums. "Harry. Please." Sophia begged. I nodded and handed Atlas to my mother again. "Louis, you too." Sophia stated. We both groaned, Freddie was probably being an instigator.
As I walked toward the room Enola was supposed to be getting ready in I saw Darcy kicking at the door, yelling for Enola. I grunted and scooped her into my arms. She was startled when I glared at her.
"Is that how nice little girls act?" I asked with a menacing tone. Darcy shook her head quickly. "What is going on, Darcy?" I inquired with anger.
"Mummy sent Freddie and me out to play with Auntie Sophia and Auntie Brynn and Auntie Perrie while Nana helped her put her pretty dress on. Now Mummy won't open the door." Darcy explained quietly. I looked back to Sophia and the rest of the girls. They all nodded sadly.
"I'm sure Mummy just needed some quiet. It's a busy day today." I smiled gently at her. Darcy nodded as I set her down. "Is there a key to the door?" I asked Sophia. She nodded and dug it out of her small bag. "Why didn't you use this before?" I inquired with a sharp attitude when she handed it to me.
Sophia shrugged, "We figured she would just open the door for you." I sighed, wishing I hadn't snapped at the girls.
I knocked on the door gently, "Noli. Open up. You're worrying the girls and the kids." I didn't even hear any movement in the room. "Noli? Baby?" I called out to her. Nothing. I quickly unlocked the door and opened it. My heart dropped. Enola wasn't in the room. I tried to be calm and walk normally as I made my way over to the bathroom. I was hoping that her dress laying on the back of the chair was because she wasn't dealing with it to go to bathroom or that she was feeling cheeky even though it was only a few minutes before the wedding. My heart was hoping for the latter. I was praying she was so nervous that she needed my touch, my kiss. When I popped open the bathroom door, she wasn't there. I frowned deeply and went back through the room.
My heart was racing noticing her bag was gone and so were the sweats I'd seen her in when we all arrived. My heart made the jump to my throat when I saw a piece of paper on the vanity. I didn't want to rush over to it. If I did, I knew my heart would be broken that much faster. I picked the note up from the table and let my head drop. In Enola's neat script it read: I'm sorry, Bear. I threw the note back onto the table and collapsed in the chair. I rubbed my face trying to feel anything but numb. I looked in the mirror to see my face was the whitest shade of pale and my eyes were starting to tear.
"Daddy! Daddy!" Darcy ran at me. "Where's Mummy?" She asked looking up at me with scared eyes.
I looked up at Louis and the girls, "I can't. Please. I just...Please take her out of here." Brynn fought tears as she picked Darcy up. "Louis, can you..." I motioned to the main hall where everyone was waiting for a wedding.
Louis looked to Sophia and Perrie, "What do I say?"
"Say that she's very ill. It's believable because she just had a baby." Sophia told him softly. Louis nodded and left the room after giving me a loving and apologetic look. I stood from the chair and tried to straighten my suit. I had to get my children and bring them home. I inhaled deeply and wished that the sick feeling would go away so I could face my daughter like things were normal. The door closed and as it did my eyes fell to Enola's note again. Rage filled me. I pushed everything she had laid out on the vanity off and kicked the chair to the far side of the room. "Harry." Sophia whimpered.
"What?!" I snapped loudly, my voice breaking. I dropped my head and pinched thr bridge of my nose. I couldn't cry. I couldn't lose control. I had to think about my kids. Finally, my legs just gave out. I landed on the floor with tears streaming down my face. Perrie ran to me, falling to the floor beside me. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and held me tight. I buried my face in her neck and sobbed. "Why, Pez? Why?" I asked over and over. I needed to know what was going on. My heart couldn't do this again.
"I don't know, honey. I don't know." Perrie replied, kissing my hair.
"My kids need their mother. I need her. I can't do this again, Perrie." I cried loudly, which only made her hold me tighter. She tried her best to comfort me but the only thing that would comfort me would be having Enola holding me.



I sat at the kitchen table staring at the sink. On a normal day, Enola would be standing at the sink, cleaning up the dishes from dinner while I took care of Darcy. Tonight, that's where Perrie stood. Perrie, Sophia, Brynn and my mother insisted on coming over to help me with Darcy and Atlas since none of us had heard from Enola for a better part of the day. I lifted my glass from the table and sipped quietly. Perrie looked back at me sadly. I wanted to say or do something to make her hopeful but I just couldn't. I barely had it in me to make my five year old daughter feel better.
"Harry." I heard Brynn's soft voice behind me. I hummed and kept my eyes forward. "Darcy says she's tired. She wants you." Brynn murmured to me. I downed the rest of the whiskey in my glass then stood. "How many did you have?" Brynn asked motioning to the glass I'd left on the table.
"One." I replied honestly. "Not that it's any of your business." I grumbled pushing past her to get to my daughter. I heard both Brynn and Perrie sigh heavily. I walked into the living room to see Louis, Liam and Niall sitting with my mother and Gianna. I glared at Gianna then smiled at Darcy, "You wanna go to bed, babygirl?" She nodded rubbing her eyes. "Okay. Come here, princess." Darcy moved toward me with a tired smile. I picked her up carefully and kissed her head. "Do you want fairy pajamas or do we want Belle pajamas?" I asked her moving toward the sofa for my son. I looked at my mother, "I'll take him too. He needs to be in his crib. Enola and I never let him sleep on us for too long." She nodded and stood. She placed him in my arm in a way that was safe but made it easy for me to carry both him and Darcy. I kissed her cheek, "Thanks Mummy."
"Of course, my baby." She smiled weakly.
"I'm going to go to bed too." I nearly whispered to her. She nodded slowly and touched my cheek gently. I took a step back. I couldn't be made to cry in front of Darcy. "Night guys." I stated quietly. Gianna got up quickly as I tried to leave the room.
"Here, Harry, let me. I'll take care of Darcy." She reached out for my daughter. I quickly took another step out of the room. "Harry." Gianna looked confused.
"I can take care of my own children." I grunted at her.
"But honey..." Gianna began.
I glared at her, "I am their father. I will take care of them."
"Harry." Louis stood up like he was nervous.
"Yes. I know. I'm their grandmother, I think it would just be best if I helped you." Gianna had a bit of a tone with me.
"What? Like you helped Enola today?" I snapped at her loudly. Brynn and Perrie entered the room quickly from the kitchen. Gianna frowned. "I wanna know what you said to her to make her walk away from me when we were both so excited for today."
"Harry." Sophia murmured, trying to calm me with her hand on my shoulder.
"No! I wanna know what you said to her! You were the last person to speak with her before she just vanished!" I shouted at Gianna.
"Daddy." Darcy whimpered into my neck. My chest was heaving with anger as I held my daughter tighter and kissed her hair.
"Get out of my house." I commanded of her. She stared at me shocked. "This is my house and my family. Get out." I was seething with anger.
"Harry, I'm their grandmother. You can't just..."Gianna began.
"GET OUT!" I snapped, trying to fight back my tears. Gianna's eyes filled with tears and she stormed out of the house.
"Harry, that wasn't nice. She wants to help." Sophia murmured.
I glared at Sophia, "If she wanted to help, she wouldn't have asked to be alone with Enola. She knew exactly what she was doing. This is her fault." I was still struggling to keep myself from crying. Darcy clung to me tightly as I headed out of the room.


"Daddy." Darcy whispered as I laid her back into her bed. I hummed with a smile. "Why didn't you and Mummy get married today? Is Mummy really sick like Auntie Pez said?"
"I don't know, babygirl." I murmured softly.
"But Mummy loves you. Mummy was so happy today." Darcy looked so very sad.
I smiled weakly, "I know, babygirl. I think that maybe Mummy was just a little too nervous. That happens sometimes."
"Am I going to have two houses now? Like Freddie?" Darcy asked. I choked up a bit. It was a question that I really didn't have an answer for. I had no idea where I stood with the woman I loved more than anything.
"No, baby. No way. I love your Mummy. I love her so much. Mummy and I will always be together. That won't ever be your life." I smiled gently. I knew that there was a possibility I could be lying but I didn't want to break her heart if I didn't know for sure. Darcy opened her mouth to ask me something else but I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep myself from crying. "Just go to sleep, babygirl. We can talk to Mummy tomorrow." I smiled, trying to be as reassuring as possible. She nodded and turned onto her side with a sigh. I kissed her hair lightly and for a few moments longer than I normally would. I stood from her bed with a sigh and then walked out, just closing the door over. I headed back into Atlas's room. I just wanted to stare at him for a little while.


I lifted my head when I heard my name at the door once again. It took everything I had to take my eyes off my son's sleeping body.
"Hey. We're all going to take off, except Louis and Freddie. They're in the guest room. Louis just wanted to be here in case." Perrie told me with a tiny smile. I nodded and muttered a thank you. "She loves you, Harry. I know she does. Something must've..."
"Please, Perrie...I just...I can't right now." I begged her. I couldn't talk about what could've possibly gone wrong for Enola to leave me.
She nodded, "I love you, sweetheart."
"Love you too." I muttered turning my eyes back to Atlas. I heard Perrie sigh as she walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. I leaned back into the rocking chair and spaced out.
"Daddy?" Darcy's little voice pulled me out of my catatonia. I looked at her little tear stained face. "I can't sleep." She murmured.
"Do you wanna sleep with me?" I asked her softly. She nodded and wiped her eyes roughly. I nodded and stood from the rocking chair. I turned on Atlas's baby monitor then picked Darcy up. "Let's get some sleep, yeah?" I asked carrying her out of the nursery to my bedroom.
I laid Darcy in my bed where Enola would usually sleep. I quickly discarded my trousers and crawled into bed with my child. Darcy snuggled into me similar to the way that Enola would. I wrapped her in my arms tightly after pulling the blankets over us snugly. I kissed her forehead and cheeks softly. I wanted to burst into tears but I had to stay strong for my daughter that was clinging to me, for my son across the hall. I inhaled deeply, smelling Enola on the pillows and blankets. It took everything I had not to let my sadness take over.
"Daddy. It's okay to cry. Mummy always says that we should cry when we feel like we need to." Darcy informed me, gripping my shirt. I let a few tears slide down my cheeks as I kissed my daughter's hair and whispered how much I loved her. I held her tighter and prayed that Enola would come back to me with a perfectly reasonable explination for everything.

Notes