No strings attached

I loved him to the moon and back. And he loved me. It was perfection, love just like a movie. His name was Alex. Green eyes , dark hair that he styled in perfect waves , broad shoulders , tall ; basically the dream guy.

We were fucking losers. Bad grades , bad hangovers every other day , bad sense of style and bad habits ; so many bad habits. I'd wear his flannels with no pants on when we went out. We'd go out into empty parking lots or parks at 3 am drinking Jack Daniels , making plans for the future and wearing stupid sunglasses. Seriously what were we thinking - sunglasses in the middle of the night?! It all just seemed so perfect until that fucking night....

We went to a party like we did ever Friday night. It's was a typical house party. We didn't know the guy - his parents were out of town for the weekend. Drunks , druggies and sex addicts. Our perfect scene. We split up when we got to the party. He kissed me on the cheek and walked away with Jona and Nick. I went upstairs with Tom and Chris. We wanted to get high. That was my thing. His was drinking until he got paraleletic. And when he did get too drunk to even breathe I was always there. He was never there when I needed him. But I didn't realise that then.

We walked into the master bedroom. Tom went straight to sniff a few lines. Me and Chris started of slower , few hits of a joint , a few pills and then the lines. I loved this state , not feeling anything but yet feeling a numbness. I was wearing Alex favourite flannel and some ripped shorts with my new timberlands. It was Chris' favourite outfit of mine. Chris always had a thing for me you could say. But he was Alex's best mate. We where laid on the bed. Just the two of us , having the high of a life time , when Chris leans in towards me. He runs his hand up my thighs and kisses my neck. It felt right. I couldn't help myself. I kissed him. It was such a passionate kiss , it made me feel like the room around us was on fire. Until the fire got put out by Alex standing at the door , rage in his eyes and a bottle in his hand. He cheated on me 3 times before ; once with my ex-best friend (I caught them having sex in my bed) but I forgave him for that and then twice with this whore from our school. I always forgave him. Didn't care because I thought he truly loves me. But then it hit me. I cheated on him. With his best friend. And he was hurt. I tried to explain. He walked away and ignored my screams for him.

I tried to get up but I was numb. I couldn't feel my body. My legs , my arms or even feel my heat beat. I overdosed. I could feel it. My life was slowly slipping away and I couldn't bare the fact of me leaving with him being angry at me . But I didn't leave. I woke up the next day , in a hospital bed. Alone.

When i came out the police contacted me. Saying that I didn't overdoes. That the drugs I were taking had poison in them. I didn't really care. It could've been meant for anyone. Until I found out they arrested Alex for it. It was a murder attempt.

I dont want to get into it anymore. But knowing that the person I loved most wanted to kill someone/me broke me. From then on. I never loved anyone. I know. Such a sad story. Boo hoo.

Hapily enough it gets worse

Notes