There was an undeniable crack of glass as one of my camera bags slipped off my shoulder and fell to the floor. Everything was fuzzy and slowed down. I heard someone calling my name, but I had no idea who it was. I felt my knees shake and give way. I started to lower to the ground when a pair of hands caught my shoulders. I couldn't feel anything. I was seeing stars and let the cold ground embrace me.

---

I woke up with a cold compress on my neck and forehead. Niall was right by my side and I saw the boys standing a little ways back. Just the thought of Liam made my stomach clench, except it was nothing like it was before. I didn't feel butterflies when I looked at him, I felt dirty and cheap. There was a bright light that shone into my eyes and forced me to close them in protest. I covered my eyes with my hand and tried to sit up.

"Stevie, don't over exert yourself, you just passed out. Don't sit up just yet. Why don't you lay here for a few more minutes, yeah?" Niall looked at me with concern.

I lay back down on the ground and close my eyes tight. My head was spinning and I couldn't think straight. Liam kissing that girl was all I could see. She wrapped her arms around him like he was so familiar, so close.

I felt a hand on my head and heard Niall talking to the medic. I didn't want to hear what they were saying. I didn't want to be here.

I felt like I had been punched in the gut repeatedly. I didn't want to be around the boys. I wanted to be alone, I wanted to be away from everything.

I sat up and Niall tried to get me to lie back down. I pushed him off, stood up and grabbed my camera bags. I heard someone calling my name, I shrugged a hand off of my arm and I ran unrestrained towards the exit. There was a cab sitting outside the stadium, waiting to take home stragglers. I jumped into the back and told the driver the hotel that I was staying at.

The cab was driving past streets I didn't know, people that were hanging outside of bars smoking cigarettes and musicians playing on street corners. My phone was in a constant state of vibration, getting calls and texts from Niall. I didn't want to see the boys. I wanted to go back to the hotel, get into my bed and sleep.

---

There was a cold blast of air that hit me when I entered my hotel room. I shuddered and threw on a hoodie that was hanging on the back of the desk chair. My laptop was still open. I decided to pull out my camera that I used tonight and upload all the images that I took. The preview screen was shattered, spiderweb cracks all over it, white light with a glitch of purple was all I could see. Fuck. I plugged the camera into my laptop and started importing the photos. I couldn't focus on the photos that were being uploaded. My head was spinning and heard my phone buzz again, three quick vibrations. It was a text. The LED light blinked on my phone. There was nothing I could say to Niall that would make sense.

My phone vibrated again. I picked it up and turned it off. I grabbed the strings of my hoodie and pulled them tight so only my mouth and my nose were sticking out. He has a girlfriend. Of course he has a girlfriend, he's only a fifth of the hottest boy band right now. Plus, he's so damn sweet. She's so gorgeous. And tan. And fit…

There is a knock on my door. No, please go away.

I heard the keycard slide in the lock and it opened slowly. I didn't need to see who it was, but I knew it was Niall. I always gave him the second keycard to my room so he could come and go whenever he pleased. He was being careful not to disturb me, he knew I was upset. I don't think that he knew why, but he knew that I was unable to put into words how I was feeling.

I felt his hand on my shoulder, being gentle. It was a gesture of comfort and showing his allegiance to my feelings. I nudged his hand with my head, wanting to be petted. He obliged. He slowly swung me around in the chair, grabbed my hand and started to lift me up. I protested. I just wanted to slump here with my feelings. I wanted to cry and never see those boys again.

He tugged harder on my arm and dragged me from my chair. He nestled me into bed, wrapping the blankets around me. I felt him leave my side and I reached out for him. I didn't want to talk, but I needed his touch. I needed to feel like I wasn't alone. The sheets lifted and I felt the bed sink behind me, dragging me towards it's crater. I fell into Niall's arms. His breathing was calm and warm on my hooded ear. His heartbeat was steady, whilst mine raced for it's life. I felt like I couldn't breathe.

His left hand was on mine, slowly tracing my skin. Learning each line of my fingers. He stopped at the tip of my ring finger for half a second longer than my other fingers. I moved my hand on top of his and placed his hand over my heart. It was pounding like a drum. My breathing was very fast and shallow.

"Don't worry, I'm here." he said. He nuzzled his face against the nape of my neck.

Tears started to swell in my eyes. I felt so stupid. I should have known that I wouldn't have a chance with Liam.

My hood was getting soaked with tears, my chest was heaving. Niall squeezed me tighter and I let the tears take sail me off to sleep.

---

"Stevie, come on pet, get up." Niall was shaking me awake.

"No." I groaned back at him.

"Get up. Not asking. We have to get on the bus."

"I'm not going on the bus, I am going to fly out to Houston."

"What do you mean? Why? Do you even have a plane ticket?"

"No, but I wanted to stay in Nashville a little longer." Lie.

"Do you want me to fly with you?"

I hesitated. "No." More lies.

I didn't want to be around Liam and Sophia. I didn't want to see them all over each other. I would fall apart.

"Stevie, just get on the bus with us. You can practice some more piano with Liam."

"I think I am going to stop practicing with him, I have a job to do on this tour and I am falling a little behind. I don't want Paul to fire me."

"I didn't realize you weren't getting your photos to Paul. Want to get on the second bus, just the two of us and you can work on your laptop and I can play guitar?"

"I don't know."

"Come on, it will be great."

---

I stood under the hot water, letting it flow in rivers downs my face. I could just swallow all this water and let it fill up my lungs.

There was a knock on the bathroom door, my five minute warning. I stopped the flow of water and I wrapped a towel around my hair, soaking up all the excess liquid. I stepped onto the thin towel that I laid on the floor, it was already soaked with water and getting cold under my feet. I rubbed my hand over the steamy mirror, looking at myself. There was black smudged all around my eyes from my makeup. I wiped at it, smearing it more. I can't look like I am falling apart. That would just give it all away, let him know that I was breaking. I got a makeup remover wipe and cleaned everything off of my face, leaving myself naked and exposed.

"Stevie, you take ages to shower. Luckily, they are letting us take the second bus. The first one is going to leave in 10 minutes. I took your bags downstairs already. You done?"

Niall's voice resounded off the walls in this white tiled bathroom. I started to struggle into my bra and panties. I can do this, I can get myself dressed and I can get on that bus and I can get my work done before we make it to Houston.

I pulled my tear stained hoodie over my head and threw on some lazy sweats. I wasn't going to look good today for anyone.

Niall was sitting on the bed waiting for me to get out of the bathroom.

"Finally! You ready?" He smiled.

"Yeah, let's go." I grabbed my backpack and started to head out the door.

"I am gonna go to the bathroom really quick, I will be right down."

I made my way to the elevator, ready to get on the second bus to go to Houston. My laptop would be ready to go, all photos were imported.

Shit, I broke my preview screen on one of my cameras. I hope nothing else is broken, I don't think I would be able to cope with that. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed for the bus in the back of the hotel. I forgot to eat last night and my stomach made a grumble so loud, everyone within five feet turned to face me in the lobby. I felt my cheeks flush and I decided to grab a banana and a muffin for the road.

There were two buses in the back lot and I saw Harry and Zayn get on the one closest to me, so I made my way to the second bus. I put my earbuds in and plugged them into my MP3 player, putting on some sounds of home with Hounds of the Wild Hunt. I felt myself getting lost in the guitar riffs, they were lifting me up. I stepped onto the bus and I saw Sofia standing there in front of me, back turned and wearing Liam's t-shirt and his basketball shorts. I fell into the sofa, my earbuds falling out of my ears, and stared at her, the girl that had what I wanted. She was the perfect piece to his puzzle, it made sense why he loved her and why he'd never love me.

Liam popped out of the back of the bus, carrying the keyboard and stand.

"Stevie…" He started.

Sofia turned to look at me and smiled. The brightest smile I'd ever seen, brighter than any smile that came from me.

"Oh my goodness, hello!" She said as she rushed towards me. "Liam has not stopped talking about you all night, he said that he is teaching you to play piano! How is that going? If he gets to be too pushy, you tell me and I will take care of him."

She winked and half laughed at what she said.

"Um, it's… uh. Good. He's not pushy at all. He's been, uh, nice - great. Very talented."

"He said you were taking the second bus so you could get caught up on your work, we won't keep you. I can't wait to see you again, your hair is super fab."

Liam stared at me, as if to ask me to play nice, to not tell Sofia about how I felt. I knew this is what he was asking me with those eyes, because he knew that I would do anything for him, including silently love him from afar.

"It was lovely to meet you… Uh,"

"Oh! Sofia, sorry! I forgot my manners."

"Sofia, what a pretty name." I shook her hand and felt how soft her skin was. I don't think they have done a days work.

"Right, Li, let's go." She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the front of the bus.

He stopped for just a moment, looking as if he wanted to say something. I pulled my laptop out of it’s bag and placed it on the table where Niall had intended for me to work. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't feel like my world just imploded and I was struggling to breathe.

The door closed behind him and I couldn't help myself, I couldn't control my emotions and tears just flooded out of me again. I felt drops rain down on my hands, I had to stay away from him unless it was about work. I couldn't stand the sight of him with Sofia and now that I know who she is, I feel even more foolish. One google search could tell me all I needed to know about her and how long they have been dating.

I should always keep work and pleasure separate. I know firsthand how that worked out. I thought about Mark. How he was with his new girlfriend, doing all the fun things we should have been doing together.

Stevie, the unlovable, awkward, purple haired photographer. That is who I would always be.

The doors opened and I heard Niall's voice. I quickly wiped the tears off my face.

"Stevie, I have goodies!"

I turned to see that he had a giant bag of popcorn and some candies.

"You know how to cheer me up, Ireland. What would I ever do without you?"

"Probably starve, eating only a banana." He twisted his face in disgust at my breakfast.

I laughed as he got settled in on the bus with his guitar. I opened up the editing program on my laptop and starting getting those photos done for Paul.

---

A couple of hours into our drive, my phone went off, three quick vibrations. A text. It could wait.

---

Notes

Thank you for all your patience. I appreciate it. I love you guys, I hope you like this new chapter.

<3

For those that are not aware, my father recently passed, I have been dealing with a lot of emotions, legal things regarding his will, visiting my mother. It's been a long few months, but I am back and I am ready to give you more of this story.