THE DEATH OF YOU

Harry's pov

Cassie's eyes widen.
"You- you remember me?" She stutters. I nod.
She looks around buying time, thinking how to go about this.
"Well... it's a little too late isn't it .." She finally glances up at me.
"Don't be like that," I ask of her.
"Do you really think you're in any position to tell me how to respond? After what you put me through- and yes I know! It wasn't on purpose- you couldn't remember-but-"
I take a step closer to her and I note her cheeks blush as she loses her train of thought. She backs away slowly.
"I moved on Harry.. I'm with Austin," she mumbles.
"Does he walk you home? You shouldn't be walking alone you know? Not a pretty girl like you," I note.
There is a hint of a smile on her face as if she is used to hearing that this is not the first time she is hearing this statement come from me.
"I never used to let you walk on your own.. have I?" I crinkle my forehead trying to remember.
" And I thought you remember.." she shakes her head obviously disappointed.
"I do..." I reach out for her hand. She doesn’t pull away.
"I just... I remember you Cassie... I remember us.. I am still putting pieces together.. But this.. This feels familiar. ..." I can feel her fingers move on my skin. This feels right.
"What do you remember?" She stares at me.
"I remember... I remember your name tag.. As I pulled you up from the pavement after smashing into you... I remember a pink dress... I remember an older lady taking photos.. But I'm not sure who-"
"My Nan.." her eyes gloss over and she looks to her feet.
"Hey.." I step closer and touch her cheek.
"Do you remember her funeral?" She whispers to me.
"I'm sorry.. I don't," I'm frustrated. I can see the pain in her eyes and I wish I could remember more. There are glimpse of things.. Fragments of memories, but I cannot link them all together.
"Are you headed back to Watford?" She questions.
"Yeah.."
"Fancy a ride home with me?"
"Sure.. why not?"
I get into the passenger seat and I snap on my seat belt.
"Buckle in," She tells me not noticing I already have. I remember her not being able to drive.. But not from before.. This was after the accident. . When we got into a fight and I refused to take her back.. She had to call a cab not knowing to drive my car.
"Never walk home alone.. and I'll never drive without a helmet," I suddenly remember a deal that was made a long time ago.
"That was the deal we made," she agrees. Her eyes are on the road. She doesn't glance at me.
"So when did you start driving?" I change the subject.
"Soon after I got back to the UK.. I started lessons," she replies.
"Why so late?"
"Well.. I was supposed to start a few years back.. And then I got into that car accident and Nan died and I couldn't get into a car without the lights of that night flashing in my eyes," she explains.
"I'm sorry," I say because it feels like the right thing to say.
"So you and Lola broke up," she claims.
"Yes.. that chick is mental," I shake my head.
"I remember telling you so," she frowns.
"I think it was more of you screaming at me that she is crazy and if I'll fly her in you're leaving and will never speak to me again," I recall.
"True," she agrees.
"And yet.. Here we are.."
"Yeah well..." she sighs.
"So what else do you remember?" She changes the subject.
"Ben. I remember what he did to my sister."
I clench my fists anger filling me.
"You remembered El and Zayn straight away.." she states, and I know it stings her that I remembered my long time friends but not her.
"Look Cass.. I'm sorry. . For what I put you through.. I really am.. Part of the reason I'm back is to make things right," I say in a low voice.
She presses her lips together, having no comment. We drive the rest of the way in silence.
We enter Watford. I remember this place.. Remember my flat I share with Ed, however that might be because they showed me photos of here and back where mum lives.
"Where are you going?" I question her as she goes the wrong way.
"I want to show you something," she says.
We pass a school and a moment later she parks. She gets out the car and I follow. She stops next to a lamp post watching it. I stand next to her and follow her gaze. That is when I see it. I touch the engraving.
I glance up at the dark sky.. feeling it should be raining. I remember it raining.
"It was," she says. It dawns on me I said that last bit out loud.. her answering my thought.
"I remember loving you," I tell her. She stares at me before walking back to her car. I take out my phone and snap a photo of our names. Then, I follow her back to the car.
She drives me home. When she stops outside the building I turn to face her.
"I remember being in love with you," I claim.
"Well.. That is in the past isn't it," she finally speaks.
"I am in love with you," I state.
"You don't know me Harry.. Not anymore.. You remember fragments of me that is all," she says in a soft tone as trying to soften a blow.
"And you have a new boyfriend now," I sigh.
"Yes.."
"And you're happy?"
She nods.
"Do you love him?"
She doesn't reply. Good. It means she doesn't.
"Do you still have feelings for me?" I question.
She doesn’t respond to that either. Good.
"Cassie... I remember loving you.. I remember you being my whole world and sitting here next to you and talking feels right.. And yes I don't know you but I remember knowing you and it’s ok.. It makes me like you and want to get to know you again.. So I'm letting you know I'm coming for you.. I will convince you and we will get back together.. I promise you!" Saying that, I open the door and get out.
"Harry!" She calls after me.
I turn to face her.
"Why? Why did you tell me this?"
"Because.. I play fair.. So I gave you heads up about my intentions," I give her my half grin. She watches me for a moment longer before backing out and driving off. I watch after her until she turns the corner and I cannot see her anymore.
I start my way towards the building fishing out my keys when my phone starts to ring.
"You left?" Ed sounds surprised.
"Yeah mate.. Got offered a ride from Cassie.. Couldn't turn that down," I smile to myself.
"What did you do?" Ed doesn't sound too happy. He warned me not to interfere with her life.
"Nothing.. She just left and her boyfriend wasn't there and a girl like her shouldn't fucking walk on her own especially at night!" I frown to myself.
"God you're back to being your old controlling self," he sighs.
I turn the corner to our flat to find Lola sitting by the door.
"Shit. Ed I need to go," I inform him.
"What's wrong?" He questions, however I end the call without providing him with an answer.
"Why are you here?" I look down at her.
"That's it? You're back with your under age ex?" She seems miserable. I exhale and slide down beside her.
"Calling you and getting you to the US.. That was a mistake," I say slowly.
"How was that a mistake? You came out of that remembering me! Not her! Me! That has to count for something!" She starts to cry.
"Yeah maybe... I thought that at first too.. But even before I started getting my memories back.. We weren't happy Lola. . We were fighting constantly!" I remind her.
"But that's how we are! We fight and scream and hate each other and then make up and have crazy sex!"
"Yeah well.. That’s not what I want.. That’s not what I had with Cassie.. At least I don't think we did.. I feel like she is what I need," I whisper.
"So why were you so quick to throw her out?"
"I couldn't remember her and I didn't believe her, but now I'm starting to remember," I say.
"And? Did she take you back?" She wipes her eyes and black streaks are drawn on her face.
"Well.. Not yet.. She kind of moved on.. She has a new boyfriend," I reply reluctantly.
We sit quietly for a while, and I'm about to get up and leave when she speaks again.
"What makes her so special?" Her voice is pained and I kind of feel bad for hurting her this way for the second time, however if I don't have this conversation she will keep trying to come back.
"Well... You need to realize I don't remember everything. .. But I have glimpse of what we used to have and what she made me feel and I can't ignore it.. She’s a breath of fresh air."
"And she has a new boyfriend," Lola states.
"Yep.." I pop my p.
"What are you going to do about it then?"
"Fight for her," It's as simple as that.
"Just like that?" She glances at me. I stare at her chipped nail polish and remember Cassie’s short nails around the steering wheel.
"Just like that.."
"I wish I had someone to fight for me," she whispers.
"I'm sure you will, However it's not me.."
"You made that clear enough times.. And yet I still end coming back."
"You need to move on Lola.. You need to get your life back together .. Get back on track and your guy will come sure enough," I promise her.
She gets up then, though I stay where I am, too deflated to get up.
"I hope you get your girl Harry.. I'll give her that.. She changed you.. Made you into a better person."
She turns and leaves, leaving me alone on the floor of the hallway..
It is weird to hear Lola say such a thing about Cassie.. She hates her.. She bad mouthed her for the whole 4 months we were together after the accident.
I remember the look on Cassie's face when I first told her I'm flying Lola in, pure dread as if she has met her before.. But I can't remember and Cassie refused to tell me.
I make up my mind. I get up and unlock the front door. I step in just to retrieve my helmet and then head back out again. My mum and sister would be beside themselves if they knew I was on a motorbike again, however Ed has the car..
First I go back to the lamp post. It is cold out and I pull my beanie down tighter around my head. I try to remember more about our time here but other than rain I can't.
I get back on the bike and drive around. I turn into a street that seems familiar so I slow down. Why do I feel as if I was here before?
I stop and park the bike deciding to walk around for a bit.
I pace down the street until I come to a stop in front of a two story home. I recognize the house and the car parked in front of it verifies my suspicion. This is where she lives. This is why it's so familiar. . I've been here before.
I look up at a window and I know it's her room. I have this itch to throw rocks at her window or at least knock on her door. However, I know better than that. I need to be smart about this. I need to win her back but knocking on her door only a little while after she first saw me after all this time is not smart. I need to let it sink in... She is here for Christmas break.. I have enough time. I turn and walk back to my motorbike.

Notes

Hello Ya'll!

How is everyone?

SO I felt the need to bring Lola in for a little- what do you think?
I also feel that we get to see another side of Harry in this story- Like a softer side..
Let me know what you think of it, would you like more?

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