THE DEATH OF YOU

"Cass! I have a surprise for you," Austin smiles when I pull out of our hug.
"You do now?" I smirk. He reaches for his back pocket and holds up two concert tickets.
"It's for Ed Sheeran's concert- I notice how much you like the bloke’s music," Austin seems pleased with himself. I feel my smile freeze and try to find my voice again.
"It's one of those little gold ticket gigs so you'll be able to really hear and see him- isn't this amazing?" He doesn't notice my state.
"It's. .. It’s wonderful! Thank you!"
I reach up and kiss him. Austin slides his fingers into mine and we make our way down the road.
"I thought you'd be slightly more excited to tell you the truth..." He mumbles.
"I am! I'm so excited- I’m just thinking about all of the things I need to get done so I'll be able to go," I beam up at him. However, deep inside I want to die!
What am I going to do about this concert? How do I tell Austin I don't want to go to it? I don't want to see Ed... or any of HIS friends.. I avoided them for so long staying in touch only with Perrie.
How can I face them? And with Austin? How do I explain that? To them.. And to him...
"You're awfully quiet.." He states breaking me from my thoughts.
I snuggle up to him as we pace to my dorms building.
"No.. it's just that I'm really tired and as I said I have loads of work to do," I sigh.
"Well make sure you get everything done before Friday night," he plants a kiss on my temple.
"Are we still going out tonight?" I turn to face him as we reach the door.
"Most definitely! How does seven sound?"
"Splendid," I smile. I turn then and head into the building.
"Cass?" Julie calls from the shower.
"Yep it's me," I reply, letting my bag drop on my bed. I take off my coat and lay back. I decide to give Perrie a ring letting her know about the tickets and get her opinion on what I should do.
"Haya Cassie, how are you?" She answers in her cheerful manner.
"I'm well.. And yourself?"
"Food shopping.. we are out of milk and Zayn couldn't pick anything up so.."
"He's working hard lately ha?"
"Sure is.. How’s Austin?"
"Err.. good.. He got us tickets to Ed's gig Friday.." I finally say.
"Oh.. you still haven't told him?"
"How do you tell someone about such a thing?? He already knows about Nan and my parents.. How can I tell him about all the rest.. The real reason I was in the US for the past year?"
"You know we're all going to be there right? I mean Louis and El and Niall.."
"I know.. What should I do?"
"Well it's up to you love.. Whatever you feel comfortable with," she sighs.
"I'll think about it," I tell her.
"I bumped into Liam the other day he said you guys are getting together today."
"Yes, out to eat maybe catch a movie," I smile.
"That's nice.. Well love, I must go.. let me know what is happening with you alright?"
"Sure.. Send my love to Zayn then."
I end the call, suddenly missing Eleanor and Perrie.. But even though we tried to keep in touch it was known she was his friend first and it was too hard for me.
"Hey! I thought Austin would be here too," Julie is out of the shower.
"No he'll be back tonight.. Are you joining us? You must come meet Liam!" I gush.
"I sure did hear a lot about him... why not?" She smiles.
"I have so much work I need to get done, gosh.. How did I let it get so bad?!" I exclaim, sitting up and getting my laptop out of my bag.
Tell me about it.. This semester is just crazy!"
"I know.. By the end of the week I feel my brain has too many tabs open," I sigh.
"So is Liam staying in town then?" Julie questions.
"Sort of, I think he is trying to decide if he wants to continue with his major."
"Computers right?" She questions.
"Yes.. I think he wants to go into robotics or something like that.. I'm not sure."
I am in my second semester for pre med hoping to get into medical school.
I mean, I have this strong feeling that this is what I should be doing, after all that has happen and all I have been through, this seems like the right choice.
Three hours later I am ready to call it a day and get ready to go out.
I change into black jeans and put on my coat.
"Austin's here," Julie calls out when there is a knock on the door.
"Haya Julie, how are you?" Austin questions. He strides then over to me kissing me on my lips.
"Hey you.. Did you get to study some?"
"I did! I am ready to eat though," I tell them.
"Well get a hat on since it got much colder than before, and we can be off," He slides an arm across my shoulders.
"I've got you covered!" Julie says grabbing a wooly hat from the shelf and we head out. She hands me the hat and I am about to put it on when I notice which one it is. It's his beanie. The one he gave me all those years ago in front of the school gates.
"Are you putting it on then?" Austin questions.
I slide it over my head and hurry to keep up with them.
We walk to the restaurant since it's not that far, being a ten minute walk from our dorm building. Liam already texted me he'll be there in 5.
"Is Liam here yet?" Julie asks. I scan the people but don't see Liam.
"Not yet," I reply.
"Table for four," Austen tells the girl. We are walked to our table and I sit next to Austin, facing the entrance.
"There he is," Austin waves. I get up to greet him, it being a couple of months since the l have seen him.
"Liam!" I smile widely as he pulls me into a hug.
"How are you Cass? Missed me you did?" He chuckles.
"I have! It's so weird being back in school and you not being here with me," I claim.
We turn back to the table and I don't miss the glance he sends me before saying hallo to Austin. We introduce Liam and Julie and the conversation takes off.
"I'm not sure yet, I'm thinking of maybe unrolling here.. They’ll give me all my credits so it shouldn't be a problem," Liam tells us when Julie asked about school.
“Excuse me, I need the toilet,” I push back the chair.
“Wait! I’ll join you,” Liam get’s up as well.
We walk side by side to the back.
“Nice beanie,” He comments.
“Julie pulled it out for me- not knowing who it really belongs to,” I explain.
“How are you doing Cass?” He asks, watching me carefully.
“I’m alright- really… I’m working hard and Austin is great and Julie is a good friend…” My voice trails off.
“I saw Perrie.. You both are still in touch,” He states.
“Yes- She is the only one out of that, group,” I tell him.
“So are you going to tell Austin about Harry and the group- you will see them on Friday- you know that right?”
“Yes I know- I don’t know yet.. I didn’t make up my mind.. How do you explain such a mess?” I glance up at him.
“It’s a big part of your life Cassie.. If you care about him you should tell him,” Liam points out.
“I know- I just… I’m not ready.. I just told him about Nan.. I’m not ready to share Ha- HIM with Austin yet.”
“I hope you know what you’re doing,” He whispers as we head back to the table.
“Me too,” I mumble.
“Cass- Eleanor keeps calling your phone- But we didn’t answer, not knowing who she is and if you want us to,” Austin holds up my phone.
I glance swiftly at Liam who is looking at the table.
My phone lights up again with El’s name on the screen.
“I should take this,” I hurry to say, taking the phone out of Austin’s hand and rushing away.
“El,” I answer.
“Cassie?! Thank god finally!” I hear her familiar voice. God I’ve missed her.
“I wasn’t with my phone- sorry,” I apologies.
“I would keep calling until you answer me,” She replies.
“El.. What’s wrong?” Since something must be wrong if she is calling me after all this time of silence.
“Is he alright?” I question since she doesn’t answer.
“I just got off the phone with Perrie, she told me you got tickets for Ed’s gig Friday,” She says.
“Yeah, she told me you lot will be there- it will be nice to see you.. It’s funny you’re calling actually, I was thinking of you just before… I’ve missed you El… all you lot,” I say truthfully, wishing it was two years ago again. Then maybe I could have done things differently, changed the path our lives went down, maybe we would still be together.. and we would all still be friends.
“Oh Cassie- I miss you too love- I really do,” Eleanor is sincere.
“I’m going back to Watford for Christmas- that Friday- we should get together,” I offer.
“Yes- most defiantly- I would like that! It could be just like old times,” I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Great- I am looking forward to that then,” I smile myself.
“Yes- but Cass- this isn’t the reason I called you,” She states slowly.
“Oh?”
“I was going to keep quiet since there was no point telling you, but after I heard you’ll be at the gig, and now that you’ll be back at Watford.. “ She stops not finishing her sentence.
“Eleanor what is it?” I try and get her spit it out, feeling edgy.
“He’s back Cass... He got back into London last week,” She tells me.
“He’s back?”
“He is, He went back to his mum’s place though, but then Perrie told me he contacted Zayn , wanted to get the old racing team back together so no guessing when he will be back at Langley for racing.. Thought you deserved to know,” She takes a deep breath.
“It doesn’t change anything though does it.. He chose his path... “ I say in a low voice.
“Did he? I don’t think he did.. But maybe coming back.. maybe it means things can go back to what they were? “
“It doesn’t change anything,” I tell her.
“Perrie said his name is Austin,” Eleanor mumbles.
“Yes.. “
“Well... Let me know when you’re back and we can get together.. And Cass.. I’m sorry if this brings back bad memories for you, but I really thought you should know..”
“Yes.. Thanks for calling me El.”

Notes

Don't forget to rate and comment- and as I promised I will update the next chapter right away xx