Will it, Won't it?

"Please tell me what your feeling?" Harry asks me and I take a deep breath.
"Honestly, I have no idea." I truthfully answer.
"I just, I don't know" he moves the chair closer to me and I place my head on his shoulder, "I just really want to be a mother'' I cry out loud "I wanted to be a mother so bad Harry" I cry harder. " Just to be there for someone else and to just to have a family and oh god" I put my head down and cry even harder.
"Hey love I am going to promise you, that your child is never ever going to be alone, they are probably going to end up looking after Louis" he chuckles and I laugh.
"Thanks Harry." I hug him


"Ok everything looks good, you can sit up now." Lauren tells me and I do, I grab the towel and wipe the gel off and get changed in my normal clothes again. Kylie and I walk out of the hospital and head out for some lunch. I am about seven and a half months pregnant now and honestly I still don't look it I guess that's why the paps haven't noticed, thank god they haven't been around much. We head into the cafe, order, eat, chat for a bit then leave. Harry came a week ago, he and the lads had a couple weeks off so he decided to see me which I was so grateful for. My baby is due in early November so I have just been getting some stuff done with the help of everyone. We are now driving home and the boys new song comes on the radio and Kylie and I start singing along.

"BABY I'M PERFECT"
"BABY I'M PERFECT FOR YOU"

We sing and dance silly in the car. I have also been working on some of my music, but not an album release or anything just for my own personal self.

The Melbourne morning sun wakes me up and I stretch and get up and have a shower. I then get changed and my mum calls me to hurry up so we can go to lunch. I walk downstairs and mum and I head out. We talk about baby stuff and how my room is read for when I have the baby, my mum is not 100% supportive about my decision but then when I asked her if she would do the same thing she didn't hesitate to say yes.

"So what do you want to do for your birthday?" I ask my mum.
"Oh come on you know I hate celebrating my birthday" she replies
"Mum it's next week" today is the 12th of October and her birthday is the 23rd.
"oh don't worry" she says and I just shrug it off.

Today is the 14th of October and I am in my room just cleaning and putting my clothes away and Kylie is coming in another ten minutes I am folding my tops and placing them in my wardrobe which is a mess so I clean that up a bit as well. I back to my bed and pick up a top and then I feel a sharp pain in my stomach so I clench over and the pain gets worse the top falls out of my hands and I am now on the floor clenching and realise with all this liquid on the floor. I don't understand I'm not due for another month.

Notes