Will it, Won't it?

My eyes flutter open and I feel cold for some reason, oh right naked! I use my index finger to trace over my lips I can still feel Niall's lips on mine.
I rub my eye with my palm and realise that the spot where he was last night is empty I start to panic I grab my t.shirt from last night put it on and my shorts, and head into the bathroom to pee. Once I am done my business I spot a piece of paper on the table so I grab it.


Last night was amazing I just had to hold and touch you for one more time, you can go ahead with your lives and proceed without me.
N xxxxx

I scrunch up the paper and slid down the wall and begin heavily crying, how could he think it was for only one night, I mean do I mean that little to him. After sobbing all my tears out I begin panting and all of a sudden I feel a little pain in my chest so I hold onto it hoping the pain will disappear it is weird I have never experienced anything like this.



I am waiting in the doctors office with mum and Kylie waiting nervously, then the doctor comes and call us in and I see Lauren, wait why is she here as well?
I cannot even process what I have been told: I have a choice to make if I have my baby there is a chance I can die after birth or I terminate which will be hard as I will be giving birth to a dead baby, oh god even saying it makes me sick to my stomach.

I am laying down in my bed with my hand on my stomach I can't even process anything all I got out of the conversation with the doctor was death and choice and child that's the only thing. But as soon as they told me I know what my choice is and I am not going back.

"hey mum, hey girl " I give Kylie our sup nod
we are sitting in our lounge and you can tell they have been crying as well.
"Kyl can I talk to you" she nods and gets up from the couch, and we head into the back yard.
"How you feeling love" she asks my while sipping her tea.
"Yea fine, processing everything and it all seems clear, listen I have to ask you something." I tun to her
"Yea anything." she replies
I take a breath and sniffle,
"Ok well um I have thought about this it's a no brainer really. I want you and Anthony to raise this baby." I say and she turns to look at me
"Wait no you haven't thought about this" she says Kylie and Anthony aren't able to have children because of complications they unfortunately both have.
"No I haven't, this little miracle inside me" I say touching my tummy "They deserve parents like you and Anth, I have thought about it ok, this is my baby and they deserve to have a life, maybe I am here to live my twenty years and then have this baby and they can live a happy healthy life." I say and sniffle a bit.
"But ar-----"
"Yes Kylie please, remember I am not supposed to get stressed" I say
"I am so, so sorry this is happening to you" she begins to cry and we embrace each other

Notes