Will it, Won't it?

I pick up my phone from my side table and see I have a missed call from him. SHIT!
I scroll down slowly to find his number I am trying to delay this as much as possible.
It's ringing and my heart is beating about a million miles second.
"Hey love" he sweetly answers.
"Hey sorry, I fell asleep when I got home" I say truthfully.
"No that's ok, how did all go, everything ok?"
"Umm well" I say "CRAP WHAT HAPPENED IS IT THE BABY?, I'M ON THE NEXT FLIGHT" Niall yells into the phone nearly making me deaf.
"NO Niall, it's fine stay where you are" I try and calm him down.
"OK well, don't scare me like that again." He says
"Well there is something, but the baby is not harmed or affected by it at all" I say
"What is it?" He asks in a worried tone
"Well the thing is, and I promise you I am going to fix and make it better again" I say still delaying and Niall is silent on the other side of the line.
"M-yyy" I am crying now "Diabetes has come back" I finally reveal. my hands are shaking and I can barely hold the phone to my ear
"What how?" He asks, the part I'm dreading
"Umm well I might have got a bit too carried away with eating a lot of sweet things lately" I say truthfully. Truth is when I was on dialysis you are on such a strict diet you can only eat a little amounts of everything, not too much dairy, protein, fats everything in small amounts basically, and when I had my transplant I might have taken advantage to eat everything in sight and might have taken advantage of sweet things from cakes, to biscuits to Nutella that is my biggest indulgence I will have Nutella on anything.
"Wait, so you did this?" he asks me "Yes I am so sorry Niall, but the baby isn't affected by it at all, I just have to get on top of it all" I say
"IT DOESN'T MATTER YOU STILL RISKED PUTTING OUR CHILD IN DANGER" he yells at me which I deserve
"Nial I k-oww I'm sorry but" "NO I DON'T WANNA HEAR IT GOSH HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN IT IS SO IRRESPONSIBLE" he is still yelling, but I just remain silent, I am not in the mood to argue.
"Niall please calm down" I say which he does a bit. "So what happens now?" he ask me
"Well I have to go back on injections, four times a day and I'll start more exercise" I say truthfully
"I STILL CAN'T BELIVE THIS" he yells again
"I know" I whisper "Im sorry" the tears have start to fall again
"HOW CAN I TRUST YOU AGAIN?"
"Niall it's not like I committed a crime, please your overacting"
"WELL I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE, THATS MY CHILD AS WELL, Is that what your going to do when I'm not around with a kid, huh feed hit sweets all the time" I can't believe he just said that now I am angry.
"NIALL SHUT UP, OK I AM THE GOING THROUGH THIS NOT YOU , SO SHUT UP!" I yell back
"DON'T YOU DARE ACT LIKE YOU ARE THE VICTIM IN ALL OF THIS" he shouts back
"YOU KNOW WHAT NI, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD"
"OK WHATEVER, I GUESS THIS JUST PROVES YOUR GOING TO BE AN UNFIT MOTHER" he yells, my heart stops for a minute and a river is coming down my cheeks as if he said that. With that I just hang up the phone i throw my phone at the wall and of course break it I see my night stand and just begin attacking it throwing everything off it and cry. After a good ten minute cry I make my way down stairs where the family is sitting down having dinner, I must have been so wrapped up in my tears I must've ignored the calls for dinner. I take a seat next to Kylie and she takes the chair out and rubs my back, I pick up my fork and play with the food on the plate. "I got your insulin ready for you" my mum says, she must have calm down and I see the needle next to my plate and pick it up and inject it in my thigh. I then return to the plate and just play with the food, but start eating as I just took my insulin. "Did you manage to call Niall?" Mum asks me I give a simple nod, "How did he take it" gosh she's pushing it. I get up from my chair, put both hands on the side of the table "HE TOOK IT VERY WELL MUM, HE SAID I WILL BE A FUCKING UNFIT MOTHER" I say and my tears start up again, and I throw my fork it lands on the floor and begin to cry harder and sit back down.
"Shh calm down love" Kylie comes up and wraps her arms around my body and tries to calm me down.
"HE SAID WHAT, THAT LITTLE" My dad yells
"No Dad his right, I'm not cut out for this I mean I can't even look after myself" I say truthfully.
"Look I'm exhausted I'm going in my room, I'll make sure to have a snack and my bed time insulin" I say and mum just smiles and nods

"Hey love, were going now, Kylie comes into my room
I am laying down on the side of the bed and get up and she comes over and gives me a hug. "Look Niall should not have said that, it was a bit low" she says and I shrug my shoulders. "Are we still going to go see him?" She asks, "Yes of course, I don't care if his pissed I am more pissed but I still want to see him." she smiles and heads out the door. "See ya later buddy" my brother says and waves and they leave.

"Hey Barb, all ready to go?" I ask her as she walks in my front door, she knows everything that is going on and she is being very supportive for me.
"Yea, how you going?" she asks hugging me. "Yea getting there" I say. So the past week I have gone back on my insulin it's not a big deal for me I mean the injections I'm used to they don't hurt and I am walking more with mum and have hit the treadmill on a speed of only four, the doctor said that would be appropriate since being pregnant and all. We are waiting for Kylie to come and we will make our way down to the airport and fly over to Vancouver.

Notes