Tell me if you love me

“Merry Christmas darling” my mother says kissing me on the forehead. I hug her “Merry Christmas Mum” I reply smiling at her. “Well come on then” she says “Ashton and Melissa are waiting for us!” We go downstairs together, Ashton is in a Christmas jumper with a snowman on it and Melissa has tinsel wrapped around her neck, they both hug me. “Come on, these pancakes won’t eat themselves!”my Mum laughs leading us into the warm kitchen.

By lunchtime I am so stuffed I cannot eat another bite, I can hardly move. We have all opened our presents and I am so happy with what I have got A new phone and jacket from Mum, A perfume set and money from Ashton and a beautiful picture album from Melissa with lots of pictures of us all, which I must admit made us all tear up a little.
I feel festive in my new Christmas jumper and bright red lipstick. I look around at my family with such affection, we may not have had a big celebration but I love that we are all together and happy. I realise just then that I havent turned on my phone the whole day, I run upstairs to get it then return back and sit on the couch, as soon as my phone turns on it immediately vibrates with unread messages:

Jade: Merry Christmas we should really catch up!
Anika: Ash! Merry Christmas hun!! Have a great day we’ll talk soon xx
Calum: Im coming over later babe x Love you xx
Luke: Why have you been avoiding me? Merry Christmas x

I read them all and snort at Jade’s she has hardly talked to me, let alone bothered to try to help me in the hardest moments of my life, to be honest I dont even know why she has my number, I delete her message. I smile at the other messages, but feel uneasy when I see Luke’s because I have been avoiding him but for both our sakes, the sooner he realises I am getting married to Calum the sooner he can move on from me, he deserves someone better.
We are watching Frozen and Ashton is pretending he’s not crying when Elsa freezes Anna “You big baby!” Melissa teases “I’ve just got something in my eye!” he protests but Melissa is laughing “Isn’t your brother adorable?” she says to me in a teasing voice. We are both giggling when the bell rings “Thats probably Calum!” I say and rush to the door.
He stands outside holding a present “Merry Christmas Ashley!” he sings, I lean forward and kiss his nose where a snowflake has just settled “Merry Christmas darling!” I reply “Come in!”

He comes into the room where Frozen has just ended. “Hi Calum!” my family says “Hi” he replies.

We both sit down side by side “Ashley this is for you” he says offering me the present. It looks so beautifully wrapped I’m sorry I have to ruin it by opening I reach behind me and get his present “And for you” I tease open the wrapping paper and gasp, a gorgeous silver heart necklace with Calum + Ashley engraved onto it is sitting there. “Do you like it?” he asks nervously.”I love it!” I whisper. “Here let me put it on for you” he carefully brushes back my hair and puts the necklace around my neck.

Calum leaves late, I am yawning loudly after showing him out. My phone vibrates and I see a text from Luke “Come outside” I ignore the text hoping he’ll get the message and just leave but ten minutes later I get another one “I’ll stay here all night if I have to” sighing I grab a jacket and walk outside to where he is waiting.

Before he can speak I say "Listen, Luke I'm sorry for leading you on I was upset and unstable before but this, whatever it is has to stop, Im engaged now" I say holding up my ring "Okay? So please just stop coming to me because I love Calum and I'm going to marry him nothing you do or say will stop me, I dont even know why your'e wasting your time with me! So many other girls would die to have a chance with you so just... forget me, move on because I've already moved on from you." I feel so horrible as I say this to him but I have to, or this will just carry on.

Whats scary is he doesn't even react he just nods and a single tear runs down his cheek, the last time I felt this bad is when I faced Laurel, the day before she died. Like I did then, I walk away.

Notes

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! Hope you all have an amazing one heres your'e Christmas update!

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