Tell me if you love me

Ashleys POV:
I’m turning into the gate leading to my house when I see him, Luke. I keep my head down but quicken my pace walking as fast as I can away from him. But he speeds up swell and is next to me before I know it. He grabs my arm and i try to shrug him off but he is stronger than he looks he gazes at me imploringly and then says “Ashley, why are you doing this to me, you made it pretty clear to Laurel you had no feelings for me and now you just flaunt your relationship with Calum in my face even after what happened that night.” I stare at him shocked not knowing what to say. “Excuse me, what exactly did I say to Laurel?” I demand furiously “What did she tell you I said Tell me!” I shout the last part and he looks startled at my outburst. “Didn’t she tell you? About that day I wanted to know if… if you were taken?” I gasp out loud thoughts swimming through my head Luke asked Laurel about me and she lied to him? A sharp knife of betrayal stabs me in the back. Luke looks at me “So I’m guessing you never really said that?” he asks. “Of course i didn’t, Im sorry but I have to go and talk to Laurel, and for the second time in days I run away from him.
I feel hot tears in my eyes as I run. A million questions eat me up inside. Why wouldn’t Laurel tell me about this! I run so fast and before I even realise I am at Laurels front door, i try to steady my breaths trying to work out what I will say to her. I swiftly wipe away the stray tears and take my mirror out of my pocket, I look a mess my face is flushed and mascara streaks run down my face, with my jacket sleeve I try my best to wipe them away. I walk up to Laurels front door and ring the bell, her mum answers and I can smell a strong scent of alcohol coming from her she grunts in acknowledgement of my presence and opens the door I thank her and run up the stairs,I know Laurel’s house almost as well as I know my own. I stop at her door, It is plastered with pictures of the two of us, a timeline of our long friendship, but some new ones have been added of Luke and her. Another jolt of fury rushes through me as I push with all my might at her door and it swings open with the force. Laurel looks bewildered as she stares up at me, I start straight away my words coming out in a rush because I am so upset and angry “Laurel, how could you do this to me how could you lie to Luke about something you never even asked me about, and then you don’t even have the decency to tell me he asked you anything, some best friend you are.” Laurel stares up at me and i see tears begin to pool in her own eyes but she still looks at me defiantly “Ashley, you never even told me you liked him, for all I knew you didn’t, just chill ok?” she tries to smile at me. “DONT YOU DARE TELL ME TO CALM DOWN” I shout.”You have no idea what he means to me, what he always has meant to me.” Now Laurel is angry too “Well guess what Little Miss Perfect he chose me and i don’t see him breaking up with me anytime soon either! You think your so superior to me with your perfect little life, I know you look down on me but I finally have something you don’t.” she smiles sweetly at me and I want to slap her hard across he face, instead i come up with a much better way to hurt her. “Oh really? You think he’s yours do you, the only reason why he’s not with me now is because of your twisted lies… and guess what on Sunday night Luke KISSED me” The look on her face makes me want to take it back, but I can’t and a small part of me doesn’t want to, her face crumbles and she looks broken, but I won’t be fixing her, not this time. “Look at you Laurel you’re pathetic, nobody wants you so stay away from me.” I sneer, then I sprint out of her room, out of her house and sit against the dirty brick wall. I put my head into my hands and cry, I cry for myself, for Laurel, for Luke and for everything I have lost.

Laurel’s POV:

Ashley’s words hit me hard in the chest and I know she deliberately chose each one to hurt me, thats the problem with how close we are, were. She knows just how to hurt me best, and she has succeeded. I am usually so quick to reply to insults thrown my way, I am known for my sharp tongue but I stay silent as she aims her last blow at me “Look at you Laurel you’re pathetic, nobody wants you so stay away from me.” I am pathetic, I am and nobody wants me, not my mum, not her and most definitely not Luke. Th past year has been a fantasy I have created, there is nothing in this world left for me any longer. I glance over at the picture of my Dad that sits on my bedside table, I love the picture I am only four years old and I am on his shoulders, he is so handsome, so alive I sometimes find it hard to believe that he is really gone. Everyone says I look just like him, maybe thats why my own mother can’t bear to look at me each time she looks it must hurt her. I clutch the frame and lie on my bed I curl up into a ball and weep.

Two hours later I get a text, a surge of hope rushes through me it must be Ashley calling to apologise, maybe even after all the lies we can start again… but its Jade a girl from our form class. ‘Hey Ash are you still coming tonight?’ she texts and I curse, today is Jade’s party and I promised her me and Luke would be there. Well a promise is a promise I’ll still go…without Luke. I look at my phone the time is 6.09pm I better hurry up if i want to get there for eight- thirty. I contemplate going and telling my Mum I’ll be out but decide against it, she wouldn’t care anyway. I rush to the shower and let the hot water drown my sorrows, then I wrap myself in my fluffy dressing gown and begin the tedious job of brushing my hair into a somewhat presentable state, when I have brushed it all I apply a mask of make-up to hide my pale, sad face: Foundation, mascara, eyeliner, eyeshadow and a coating of strawberry flavoured lip-gloss. Now, for something to wear, I select my best dress, I want to look good tonight even if I don’t feel it. I slip into my highest heels and give myself a confident smile in the mirror, I can do this. I grab my car keys and rush outside before my step- dad or mum can stop me going. My Jeep is parked in the driveway, I climb into it and speed off into the night.

A soon as I get into the house I know I have made a big mistake because there in the corner laughing with my supposed boyfriend is my supposed best friend, I don’t know if she sees me, but seeing her is enough. I have seen enough now to know there is nothing left for me in the world my dads smiling face comes into my mind as I think how easy it would be to join him. I don’t even have it in me to cry anymore. I am worthless, unloved no one cares about me a voice in my head tells me how easy it would be to just let go of my life, to let the pain ebb away and to see my dad again. “I love you daddy” I whisper as I drive straight past the caution danger ahead sign and across the broken bridge that should have been fixed weeks ago...

Notes

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