Tell me if you love me

Confessions:

I dont want to tell this part of the story but I guess I have to, it explains what happened up till now, the events of the past three years changed me forever.
I suppose it all started with Grace being diagnosed with leukaemia, imagine at the age of two being diagnosed with a disease like that, the doctors told it to us straight, her chances of survival were very low.

That year will always be remembered as my worst, sometimes I try to block it out but it always comes back to haunt me. Grace barely survived 6 months, her body couldn’t fight off the leukaemia and she eventually died, thats what made me stop believing in miracles.
After her death our family was in ruins, Melissa went into deep depression, nothing could get her out of the state she was in, eventually her and Ashton broke up, it was inevitable the two of them being together just brought back too many memories.

Graces funeral has to go down as the worst day of my life, I know it sounds bad but Laurel got to live so much more of her life and doesn’t it make a difference that she chose to end her life? You can call me heartless but Grace should have lived a longer fuller life, she was so loved. Melissa collapsed at the funeral from exhaustion and grief, since we saw her sister supporting her as she wept, we havent seen her.

They say every cloud has a silver lining but that year was just one disaster after another, after I had barely finished grieving, Luke dumped me. Worse than that, he dumped me for Christine. I hardly even cried when he told me it was over, slowly our relationship had been unravelling, it started out as small arguments, that eventually led to bigger ones.

Maybe it was that he felt useless, in his situation I would have I hardly talked to anyone and preferred to stay inside whenever I could, but who could blame me after what I had been through? Even so, I can’t fully blame him for it, though I would like to.
I had applied for Greenview months ago, in a happier time. I thought I had no chance at being accepted, but somehow I was. I think my acceptance letter came at the right time, I needed to leave, to go somewhere where memories didn’t haunt me, Greenview was my escape.

As for Calum, I almost forgot about him, almost. The day before I left he came to my house and we cried together. I wasn’t ready for a relationship I told him but maybe one day. With the hope of what could be between us I left for Greenview more happy then I thought I could ever be.

I keep them close to my heart Laurel and Grace, I will never forget them that day I vowed I would live the life they never had a chance to leave.

Notes

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