Tell me if you love me

Ashleys POV:

God, I am a wreck, more than a wreck I am spinning out of control anything I have seems to be slipping away from me and all I can do is look on. I have suffered public humiliation too many times to speak, last night was just another thing to add to the growing list of embarrassing things I have done recently, not to say I never used to do stupid things, but everything is different with a best friend to laugh and cry with you.Jade, is not a friend. I realise that now, I dont think she has been a real friend to me in a while, I dont know what made her be nice to me, sympathy, guilt? All I know is in my state a real friend would have known the last thing to do would be to make my emotions even more messed up than they already were. I turn on my phone and the bright screen makes my eyes hurt, as it loads it vibrates with notifications. I dont even bother to read Jade’s messages I just delete them and her number. I wish it was so easy to delete Luke, to erase him from my life. There are lots of messages from Calum, each getting more and more frantic. I feel so ashamed I can’t face calling him right now I add him to the list of people I will eventually have to talk to but can avoid for now.

Even in my darkest moments, there is always something that can make me smile, right now thats Grace. She is clinging onto my neck. I smile as I turn over in my bed “Hello Gracie!” I greet. She plants a wet kiss on my forehead and tugs at me trying to get me to wake up. I scoop her up and carry her downstairs. Melissa and Ashton are at the breakfast table, deep in conversation I sigh when I see them, sometimes seeing how easily they are in love breaks my heart, if only my life was so easy. Melissa looks up at me “Ashley I’m sorry did my naughty little girl wake you up?” I ignore her question my eyes fixated on her hand, on one of her fingers a diamond ring gleams, a diamond ring that wasn’t there yesterday.

“OH MY GOD!” I scream “Oh my god! Ashton! Oh my god!” Ashton sees what I am looking at and breaks out into a huge grin “Ashley, meet the soon to be Mrs Irwin, I dont know why but when I proposed to this beautiful lady yesterday she said yes! A decision you’ll soon regret” he added playfully nudging Melissa, his happiness is infectious and I smile wider than I have in a long time. “Congratulations!” I say turning to Melissa, she smiles back at me, really I cannot think of anyone I would rather see marry my brother than her. “Thats not it” Ashton says laughing at my excitement “We want you to be the bridesmaid.”

The next few days are so hectic I havent even got the time to think about anything but the wedding, Melissa wants me to go dress shopping with her Ashton wants me to approve the wedding menu, If I’m stressed I can only imagine how stressed everyone else is including my mother. The house is filled with excitement but exhausted excitement.

Melissa knocks on my door as I lie on bed bored. She comes in looking slightly stressed, but happy. “Hi Ash, hows it going?” she chirps. I smile at her, but she can see behind my smile. “So um I noticed Luke stopped coming around are you two okay?” I try to think of the best way to put it without me bursting into tears “Um, We broke up” “Oh Ash” she says and wraps her arm around me. Her kindness does make me feel like crying but I try to be strong. “I know its not really any of my business, but I think you can work it out, its just the way he looked at you like you were the only girl for him, like he really loved you, you seemed so happy together” Then I begin to cry, huge shaking sobs and Melissa holds me like I am Grace’s age. “Ash, Im sorry I didn’t mean to make you upset.” she says sounding distraught. “Its ok” I choke “You just told me what I’ve been to blind to see all along."

Notes

Ashton and Melissa are engaged!
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Also special thanks to Cristyy who always comments and inspires me to write more thank you! xxx