Tell me if you love me

I practically live in the hospital that week, one day blurs into another. The only place where I dont constantly worry is beside Luke. When I am near him I know that every breath he take she is fighting to stay alive, the nurses try their best to reassure me but I again feel so lost without Laurel who would have been by my side and comforting me by just being there.

My mother silently worries about me but is at a loss of what to do. In her situation I wouldn’t know what to do either. Before I was avoided at school and constantly alone but now I feel crowded people squeeze my shoulder or follow me around constantly, I can’t believe I ever thought being alone was a bad thing. The only person I really talk to is Jade, because she understands. It feels like I am grieving for a friend all over again.

I am walking into Luke’s room when I see Calum leaving, our eyes meet and he quickly looks away. I feel a burst of anger at seeing him which I can’t quite place, up till now I thought I had forgiven what he had put me through, it seems I haven’t. He opens the door for me and I roll my eyes, he is anything but a gentlemen. He must see me because he says “Sorry if I offended you by trying to be polite Ash” It is the normal way he is speaking to me that infuriates me the situation we are in is anything but normal. “Well I’m sorry Calum if I am not in the best of moods right now, with my boyfriend in hospital and you being one of my least favourite people” I say in the most sarcastic voice I can. He blinks and me and almost looks hurt. Then he walks away from me and i am left feeling like I am the bad one in the situation, when I’m not.

Luke looks normal, well of course not normal but the same as he does everyday, some of the cuts are starting to heal and he could almost just be asleep, apart from the fact that the machines that surround him are keeping him alive. “Hey Luke” I say and bend over to kiss his forehead. I hear a loud cough and Luke’s mum comes in I leap back like I have been caught doing something wrong. All my attention shifts to the girl behind him, she is beautiful with long blonde hair and pale skin “Ashley darling I want to introduce you to someone this is Christine.” I stare at her trying to remember where I have heard her name and then I remember.

7 weeks ago:

It was the first time we had ever had a real argument. Looking back on it, it was mostly my fault everything had been going fine between us till that day, I saw a text on his phone while he got us drinks that made me feel, I suppose insecure. I confronted him when he came back “Who’s Christine?” I said in an accusing voice. He looked at me confused then said “God, Ashley really you were checking my phone?” “Who’s Christine?” I demanded again ignoring his question. He kept looking away from me which was making me feel nervous. “Okay, Before I moved here she was my girlfriend.” If he had punched me it would have hurt more. “What!” I exploded “So she’s your ex- girlfriend you still talk to her and I’m meant to feel okay with that? I saw what you two were writing, she said she loved you for gods sake!” Luke was getting frustrated too now. “Ashley why are you acting like this? It doesn’t mean anything were just friends she has a new boyfriend.” That made me feel slightly better, but still not completely. He put his arm around me “Look, Ash I broke up with her we’re done but were still friends and anyway she’s not the girl for me” He looked me straight in the eyes “You are.”

Christine smiles at me, I dont smile back. It would be alot easier to like her if she wasn’t so pretty. I watch her as she stands near Luke and looks at him so adoringly and the way Luke’s mum smiles at her and feel the familiar pang of jealousy. “How long are you staying?” I ask and it comes ruder than I wanted. “Oh, just for a bit,sorry for interrupting you but.. when Liz told me I just had to come.” She doesn’t look sorry at all but I nod as if i understand. “Ashley can I talk to you for a second outside please?” Luke’s mum asks without her normal niceness. I follow her outside “Ashley I know its so hard for you but please be nice to Christine she’s been through alot and her and Luke were always so close.” I wince and she seems to realise and her expression softens. “Ashley, dont get me wrong I know my son loves you but right now any of these days could be his last we all know that so can you really blame Christine for coming?”
I know what she is saying makes sense but a horrible part of me hates her, and as I watch her sit in my seat next to my boyfriend I feel no sympathy for her.

Notes

Hope you like the new chapter!
Comment, rate and subscribe xx