To say I was deliriously happy, was a thousand percent correct. I was the luckiest man on earth. The surgery was nearly completed and we spent all our time looking over wedding stuff and finalising the details. Erin made a folder (of course) in which she categorised everything to the minutest of details. Sophia was going to be her maid of honour (not surprising in the slightest) and Harry was my obvious choice for best man with all the other guys being ushers.

Erin said that she wanted a fairly low key wedding. The most important thing to her was the marriage itself. She wasn’t really one for massive celebrations anyway although she was willing to let it slide for me. I tended to love a good party and I loved having a laugh with my friends. We were compromising a lot because we both wanted each other to have the best day possible.

Also we had the hen night and stag dos to look forward to and I certainly hope that Harry and Sophia had their thinking caps on. I was really looking forward to it but I would be lying if I pretended not to be worried about what he had planned. Harry was a trouble maker at the best of times and this was his chance to really get back at me. It was going to be a blast.

“Are you sure you want it to be in Mullingar?” I asked, looking down at the folder and back at her, searching for any trace of doubt.

“Yeah. Most of your family are there and it’s just easier for them.” She smiled, her whole face lighting up and I grinned, wondering how I’d managed to get so lucky. “The countryside is beautiful too.”

“So I’m hearing manor in the countryside?” I smirked and she rolled her eyes.

“Why a manor?”

“Meh, let’s live a little.” She started to giggle and I pulled her into my side. She leant into my chest, allowing me to breathe in her heavenly scent. I rested my head on top of her chin, listening to her incessant ramblings.

“We need to pick out colour schemes and go to the florist. Oooh! And the cake is a must. Think of all the cake tastings that we can go too!” Her eyes were lighting up at the mere prospect.“And if we book the manor house out for the weekend, then everyone can drink what they want, your family doesn’t have to spend loads of money and they can stay the night before. It’ll be adorable.”

She’s adorable.

“What about your parents?” I asked watching as she snapped the book shut. This happened whenever I bought them up and I didn’t understand how she could be so closed about this one subject. It would kill me not to have my family at the wedding. Theo was a clear choice for page boy and Erin’s cousin Ava was going to be stunning as flower girl. All my family were going to be there but as we were organising guest lists, I started to realise that Erin didn’t speak to most of her family.

“We’re not talking about this Ni.”

“Don’t Ni me and don’t you dare walk away from me!” I grabbed her arm, pinning her against the wall and I couldn’t help but smirk as she gasped. I could feel her heart speeding up at my mere presence and I grinned like the immature school boy that I was. “We’re getting MARRIED Erin.” I was giddy off of the word alone. “We have to talk everything through, you know that.” I began to play with her hair and I knew that I had her in the palm of my hand (literally).

“I want Zayn to walk me down the aisle.” My eyebrows raised in shock. It wasn’t the norm by any standard although the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Erin had spent a lot of time with all of the boys. Harry used to tease her something rotten until one day when she kicked him in the balls and he vowed never to upset her again. Liam and Sophie used to double date with us so they become our go to couple for everything but Zayn and Perrie were a different kettle of fish, or at least they were for Erin.

I loved Harry. He was an amazing friend and I honestly couldn’t imagine anyone else being my best man and Zayn was something like that to Erin. He looked out for her and she was always there for him whenever Perrie tested his nerves. Erin didn’t like Perrie but I was pretty used to this opinion as my sister hated her guts (don’t get me started). Zayn was like Erin’s long lost brother and if she wanted him to walk her down that aisle, then that was exactly what was going to happen.

“Nora can be a bridesmaid. You know I love that girl something chronic.” I laughed, meeting her lips with my own. My hand snaked around her waist and as I breathed in the gloriousness of my bride to be, I decided to have the parent talk another time. I lifted her easily, her legs simultaneously wrapping around my own and we never broke apart, not once. I would always remember that night.

She was a real firecracker that one.

---

I gently shut the door, watching as Austin scurried to his bed once I’d released him from his lead. He looked knackered and I smiled happily to myself, knowing that he would be pretty docile for the rest of the day. I walked into the kitchen and turned the kettle on, pouring myself a glass of water and then making Erin a cup of tea. I walked over to our bedroom, Austin trailing in after me as soon as he’d noticed that I was going over to his mummy I guess. She was obviously his favourite but I didn’t mind (she was mine too after all).

“Are you okay?” I asked, staring at her weakened form as you lay in bed. A few weeks had passed and she was slowly getting more and more fragile. Her last shift had been the day before and at first, I’d thought that she was just tired but I could tell that something wasn’t right. She’d already been sick twice this morning and she looked pale. To say I was worried, was a severe understatement.

“I’m fine Niall. Stop worrying.” She stood from the bed, instantly clinging to the bed frame and at that point I knew she needed to go to the doctors.

After an intense argument that lasted around an hour, I’d managed to force Erin into the car. I had to promise her Chinese food for dinner and a night full of chick flicks (yay), but it was definitely worth it. I pulled up outside the hospital and let Erin out of the car. I searched for a parking space whilst she walked in and enquired about an appointment.

Once I’d parked the car, I walked swiftly into the hospital and asked the receptionist where my fiancée was. However she had no clue where she’d disappeared too. I took a seat, simply assuming that she’d gone to the toilet or something although I was certainly surprised when the Doctor walked over to me, adopting a serious expression.

“Miss Holland has requested to be seen alone, Mr Horan.” He explained but I looked at him with a look of pure bewilderment.

“But she’s my fiancée. I’m not leaving her on her own.”

“She’s perfectly capable of being seen by herself Sir. She is an adult after all.” I frowned and forced myself to give him the coldest stare I could muster. He was talking to me like I was a complete idiot. I didn’t appreciate it in the slightest, especially where Erin was concerned. He just didn’t understand. I was with her through everything and I didn’t understand why I wasn’t allowed to be there for her now. Why was this time any different?

“Please.” The doctor sighed, brushing a hand through his hair. His features softened and what he explained next filled me with more dread then I care to admit.

“She’s in a fragile state and she doesn’t want you seeing her this way. As she is my patient, I have to respect her wishes. She requested this, it was not a suggestion from my part Mr Horan.” He continued to watch me with a sympathetic look plastered to his face. “I’ll keep you informed as much as I can.”

I watched as he walked away, wondering when I’d gain the slightest shred of understanding for the situation.

An hour later, the doctor left the consultation room, heading in another direction and I took that as my opportunity to sneak into the room undetected. As I slipped inside, closing the door behind me in one swift movement, I heard a gasp be emitted from the other side of the room.

“Niall. I told you not to come in here.” She was hurriedly putting her top back on and I frowned, thoughts clouding my head and my better judgement. Her bra lay discarded on the table, her hair was a mess and her shoes were missing. She’d obviously taken them off in order to be more comfortable.

“Let me get this straight.” I said, anger fuelling my every thought as tears welled in my eyes. I couldn’t believe that she would break my heart this way after Aiden had so maliciously trampled all over hers. “You fucked some doctor whilst I sat in a waiting room expecting someone to tell me of your imminent death?!”

I’m not proud to admit that I shouted the last part at her. My eyes darkened and I could tell from her horrified expression, that she hadn’t been expecting my outburst.

“I’m sorry, I’m going to close my eyes and then open them again. I’d better see my adorable husband to be in front of me or I swear to god, I’ll punch him in the face.” She let her head fall into her hands from exhaustion (most probably) and I smirked at her, though not in the way she would have liked.

“Did he wear you out?” Her eyes snapped open and I felt her stare linger on my face, searching for something but I couldn’t figure out quite what. “I want the ring back Erin. You don’t deserve to fucking wear it.” My voice had grown hoarse now. It had been reduced to a shadow and as I held my hand out expectantly, I could feel myself physically trembling.

A tear slowly slide down her face as she looked at the ring; the ring that she was maddeningly in love with. The ring that had become a piece of her; a piece of us.

“No.”

“Give it to me Erin!” I snapped, pulling her hands away from her body and causing her to fall off the hospital bed. She winced and my actions instantly ceased. “Are you okay?” I wanted to hate her but even if she ripped my heart from my body, I couldn’t watch her in pain without feeling at least something.

“It’s back.” Her voice was tiny and I had no clue what she was talking about. “I didn’t sleep with him. It’s not like that Niall. I don’t even know him.” She hiccupped as the tears started to violently fall. I fell to my knees and gently pushed her back to the bed. She took a seat, watching in silence as I tried to stop her tears. “I never told you what happened to my parents.” She wanted me to understand so I let her continue but god do I wish that this conversation never happened.

“My dad disowned me when I decided that I didn’t want to be his little project anymore. I didn’t want to be a lawyer. I don’t care about any of that stuff, Ni, you know I don’t. He stopped my mum from visiting me too and we didn’t speak for four years.” She paused, focusing on her breathing and I recognised her techniques. She was controlling herself so that she was in control of her fear. She was stopping the panic attack before it could even present itself as an option. She’d come so far.

“But I lied to you Niall and I’ve felt bad about if for ages. My dad died from a heart attack. He never focused on keeping his body healthy and look where it got him.” She was imploring me to listen but my mind had already drifted. That was around the time when she went on the massive health food kick. She tended to eat well and she did exercise but two years ago, she started to take it all a lot more seriously and I guess, now I know why.

“My mum tracked me down through Aiden. She probably still thought we were together. Everyone expected us to get married.” I was more than aware of this fact. The press had a field day when he told everyone that it was indeed Erin that he was pining after. He still loved her and told the press that I’d stolen her from him during X Factor. It all ended really nastily but in the end everyone saw his true colours and he was hastily dropped from the record company. “We met up and I found out about dad although she looked horrendous. She never told me what was wrong with her and I didn’t know until she died two months later.” She looked down at her hands, fiddling with her fingers and picking at her cuticles again.

“What happened to her?” I asked, timidly. She was really scaring me now and I didn’t know what was going to come from her mouth. I was petrified, plain and simple.

“She had breast cancer Niall.” I turned to look at her glassy eyes, my head swimming with the news and I prayed with everything I had that she wouldn’t say it.

“Doctors believe that it’s hereditary or at the very least you are at a greater risk. I came in a year ago.” More tears spilled now and I just stared watching as everything I loved vanished before me. “They found some lumps and I was put on medicine. They didn’t think it was that bad. My hair didn’t even fall out.” She sniffed and I pulled her into my body, needing to hold her; needing her to stay with me. “It’s come back Ni. It’s too bad. There’s nothing they can do. I’m gonna die.”

And that was how my world ended.

Notes

Okay so that's all the chapter I have so far, I'll update next week with the newer one. I know you probably hate me but I've always had this planned. There is certainly more to come and rest assured the wedding is included