Fragile Hearts
Making Dreams Come True
Three years had passed since that day and I still woke with a start at around 3 am. I could hear Erin fumbling around in the kitchen and I sighed before getting up and heading in her direction. Even though a considerable amount of time had passed, she still wasn’t completely comfortable in her own skin and I’d learnt fairly quickly that I’d never get the old Erin back, at least not completely. And you know what, I was fine with that.
People don’t get over depression, they simply learn to live with it; they learn to survive it.
She still took her medication (every morning) and her anxiety levels were much lower. Her panic attacks only happened in extreme circumstances like when she felt trapped or was forced into something. It used to come into play a lot whenever we got intimate. I was patient and waited, letting her take the lead and now I’m happy to say that we live together.
All good things come to those who wait.
“Cupcake, what are you doing?” I asked, my voice groggy as I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and stared at her still form. She was sitting on one of the bar stools in the kitchen, looking straight ahead at the wall. At first I thought she hadn’t heard be but when I slipped my arms around her waist, hugging her tight against my chest, she managed to speak.
“I had a nightmare.”
I frowned, spinning the chair around so I could look at her properly. Her hair was a mess, falling in curls all around her face and I couldn’t help but smile as I attempted to tame them. I brushed my thumb gently against her cheek, soothing her as she started to tell me the story.
“I dreamed that you’d gone to work and never came back.” A tear fell down her cheek but was quickly caught by my waiting finger. “You even took Austin with you.” I heard her gulp back tears and my eyes grew sad. She always had dreams like this. Petrified that she would be left to fend for herself again and be without a hope in the world. I’d never do that to her but her brain just couldn’t quite accept it.
“So why are you in the kitchen? You could have just cuddled with me and fell back to sleep sweetheart.” A whine caught her attention and she jumped from the chair, running swiftly into our bedroom. I followed silently behind her knowing full well that Austin had woken up and panicked when he saw that we weren’t there. I opened the bedroom door to see Erin resting on the end of the bed, Austin nestled into her chest, licking her hand and nuzzling into her.
Oh right, I should explain. When we moved in together, after Erin finished her university course and became fully qualified as a vet, the place was still quite empty. We had enough stuff but I was either at the recording studio or prepping for tour so it was too quiet. Therefore my brain decided that we needed a new addition to the family and that introduces Austin, the adorable, needy little puppy that we’d adopted from the dogs home. You should have seen her face when we bought him home.
She wanted to name him Darcy but there’s no way I was willing to take him down the park, yelling his name after him and looking like a right mug. I’m not posh enough for a puppy called Darcy (no one is) so we decided to call him Austin after her favourite Author (although whenever I call him trouble, it seems to work just fine).
“He can sleep on the bed, honestly its fine Erin.” I yawned loudly, plonking myself back on the bed and tucking myself under the covers once more. I opened one eye, silently gazing up at her and she giggled in response.
“He can’t stay on the bed. He has to learn to be independent. Unless he’s invited up onto the furniture, he’s not allowed on it.” She sounded firm but I could tell she was having a hard time being strict with her fluffy, bundle of joy. She gently placed him back in his designated basket, jumping back in bed and snuggling up to me.
As her head rested against my chest, I couldn’t help but think about how perfect everything was and how happy I was. It was officially our last tour as well so we’d all be able to apply ourselves to new projects. Louis wanted to put all his effort into running his record label, Harry wanted to be a song writer (nothing more, nothing less), Liam wanted to focus on his family (I mean Sophia is expecting twins so it’ll surely be quite the handful) and Zayn wanted to finally get married to Perrie and focus on his clothing lines.
As for myself, I hadn’t really decided what I was going to do. I’d moved in with Erin, bought a puppy, life’s great. As for a career, I hadn’t really focused on it yet. Whenever I’m home, I get distracted by my incredible girlfriend. She’d come so far and she always called me her saviour, but what she didn’t realise is that she’s mine. She’s my rock, my soul mate, my everything…
And then it hit me. I knew exactly what I was going to do.
I brushed a hand through my hair, attempting to relax. I’d just finalised the design plans for Erin’s big surprise and she was going to be here any minute. I’d told her that I was viewing properties to add to our portfolio and I wanted her opinion but it was the biggest load of bull I’d ever given her. I’d already bought the place for one and secondly I had big plans for the particular building and none of it was related to renting it out.
“So are you going to show me around or just stare at the wall, waiting for a decision to come to you?” I turned my head in the direction of the front door and smiled as I took in her appearance. She had a gym bag hanging from her shoulder (explaining where she went so early this morning), a black dress and pumps adorning her figure and she still had her white vet coat on. She kind of looked like a sexy nurse/doctor. Sometimes I couldn’t believe that she was actually mine.
“Are you just gonna ogle me?” She chucked her gym bag at my head, rolling her eyes as I caught it swiftly and winked at her. “Come on! I want to look around so we can make a decision and then I can sleep.”
I smirked. “I doubt you’ll be doing much of that tonight.” Her whole face went bright red and she attempted to hit me but I simply swung her over my shoulder and started to walk up the stairs to the rhythm of her melodic laugh.
“What are your plans for this property Horan?” She asked, once I’d let her go and finally allowed her to walk around. A grin spread across my face as I watched her intently, her eyes lighting up as they glanced out of the windows and settled on the large, back garden.
“That’s Mr Horan to you.” I gently nudged her hip before settling behind her, my arms instantly wrapping around her waist so we could observe the view together.
“The garden’s just the start. If you look past all the shrubs and trees,” I said, lifting my finger in order to point in the correct direction, “you can see a path. It leads downhill towards some fields.” She tilted her head towards me, listening closely and I took the opportunity to plant a kiss on her forehead. “The property comes with a few acres to dabble about with.”
She rolled her eyes, hitting me with her elbow and laughing as I doubled over. “Only you would use the word dabble.” Her eyes crinkled in delight whilst I simply wrinkled me nose at her. She giggled but continued none the less. “This property is massive Mr Horan.” She smirked upon using such a formal name.
“What on earth do you plan to do with it all?”
“Aww cupcake, I can’t ruin the surprise.”
I watched as she explored the property. Confusion was evident on her face but I still refused to tell her my true motives. I wanted her to like the place first. I gently brushed my hand against my jeans as I followed behind her down the stairs. I was beyond nervous and the more I thought about it, the more I thought that this could be a massive mistake…and a costly one too. Her steps led me out into the garden and down the path I’d mentioned earlier when suddenly her feet stopped and she turned around abruptly.
“You figured it out yet sweetheart?”
She raised an eyebrow in response and walked around all the shrubbery, finally coming out into a clearing. I heard her gasp at the open space before her eyes fell under a nearby tree. I just watched silently as she processed the scene before her.
A red blanket was laid out on the grass along with a picnic basket, a chilled bottle of champagne, her princess cups (she bought them for my birthday, claiming that I loved Ariel but we all knew they were really for her benefit, not mine), a large folder and finally a bouquet of her favourite flowers: orchids. “Wait…what?” She sounded so confused and she was biting her lip causing me to smile fondly at her.
“Take a seat and I’ll explain everything.”
I carefully sat down next to her, trying to judge what her reaction would be, from her facial expressions alone.
“Do you like it?”
“What’s going on Niall?” She ignored my question completely, raising an eyebrow and staring at me. I looked away, took a deep breath and began to explain. I picked up the folder and handed it to her, opening it onto the first few pages. They were all drawings and plans for the property with estimates on cost and colour schemes thrown on in there. She silently flicked through the pages as I attempted to make sense of the situation.
“The top floor would be the office space and boarding for the animals as well.” I pointed to a particular drawing to emphasise my point. “Downstairs, you can have a relatively open planned layout, apart from the surgical rooms and the examination ones of course. People usually prefer private consultations and stuff don’t they?” I was rambling and she was in complete shock.
“Niall…have you done what I think you’ve done?” Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears and I full on panicked.
“Please don’t cry! If you don’t like it then we don’t have to do it. I already put a deposit on the house – a bit presumptuous of me, I know – but we don’t have to do it if you don’t want to. It’s just that you love animals. You’ve always wanted your own veterinary practice and I just want to make you happy. It could be our group project. I’ve done so much planning. I even got paint and carpet samples. I looked at tiles too, thought it would be practical…Why are you laughing at me?!”
Erin was in a fit of hysterics and she was crying at the same time. Every time it looked like she was finally calm, she would catch a glimpse of my face and the laughter would start all over again. I sat with my arms crossed and a guarded expression as she finally calmed down.
“Well, care to explain your reaction?” My face was contorted in anger and I noticed she delicately wet her lips. She was speechless. “Fine. We won’t do it. God forbid I do anything for you!” I stood up and started to walk away but Erin was quick to lace her fingers into mine, tracing patterns on my skin. I sighed at the sensation and turned to look at her.
A smile was evident on her features. She noticed me staring, trying to figure her out and she laughed once more before jumping me. She fell on top of me, kissing me passionately and my anger instantly dissipated at the mere taste of her lips.
I turned us around, pinning her arms above her head, and kissing all over her face. She started giggling loudly but then she started tickling me and I knew I’d lost.
“Okay!” I yelled, breathless with laughing so much. “You win.” I held my hands up in surrender and she pulled me to my feet.
“Did I ever tell you that you’re the bestest boyfriend ever?” She asked as she popped open the champagne. She filed up the princess cups and turned to me with a massive grin on her face and me being me, well I couldn’t help but ruin it.
“No I don’t think you have. Probably because ‘bestest’ isn’t a word,” I said in the high pitched voice I always used to mock her. Her eyes narrowed dangerously. “Catch me if you can cupcake!” I screeched as I ran back into the house.
It wasn’t how I pictured it going but it ended up being even better.
Another few months past and work on the property was well underway. I wanted everything to be perfect so I’d given almost a year in order for the project to be completed. Erin was happy with waiting. She’d always been the patient one and whenever I threw a hissy fit about how I couldn’t find the right colour grey for the examination room floor, she’d laugh and start singing some dopey Disney song, until I cheered and joined in her shenanigans.
It was then that I realised what I wanted to do. I’d always been interested in building up a property portfolio and I had plenty of places all over the world at my disposal, but I was having such a blast from doing this project that I suddenly knew what I wanted to do with my life, now that One Direction was over. I wanted to help people fulfil their dreams.
Whether that be finding the perfect house for their family, travelling the world, raising money for various charities or simply having the best life possible, I wanted to be at the forefront of it. Helping people. It was what I was good at (other than making Erin laugh). But again, this isn’t about me…it’s about her. And with that being said, it was D-Day so to speak.
I was staring fixatedly out of the window in search of Erin’s car which would indicate that she was finally home from work. I was going to take her out for dinner before going to a funfair as she loved all things childish. And then we were going to come home and I’d finally ask her the question I’d been dying to ask her ever since we first met. I’d even planned to get Austin involved, you know, to really up the cuteness factor.
It’s safe to say that the night didn’t go as planned.
It was the worst proposal in the history or proposals.
And I will forever be a moron…
