Just because of me...

It's been three days since my dad died.

He's dead.

My dad.

I still can't believe it.
I didn't talk to anyone for three days.Not to Niall,not to Sandra,not to anyone.
I was just sitting in the bedroom crying.
Crying and listening to music.And of course crying.
My hero is dead - just gone.I don't know what to do.The past months were so hard,but we made it up and I understand him and his decisions.But why did he have to die? Why?
Because of me.. yes

Just because of me...

I rock myself back and forth thinking about every memory I share with my dad.
About all conversations as simple as they were,we made.
Even all those fights about partying too much and school.
I miss him so much.I should've been dead - not him.
He didn't deserve to die just because a mad one wanted to kill me..
It's my fault.My dad died because of me.. Everything would be better without me.
Everyone would be happy without me
Maybe I should..I should just kill myse-

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH' I scream,at the realization of my thoughts and throw the glass next to me against the wall.It breaks immediately into infinite pieces,just like my heart

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH' I scream again,pulling at my hair and slamming my head aginst the wall

That's what I do since three days.It even became routine.Niall bursts in.
He looks at me and his eyes are bleak.He silently sits down next to me.
He doesn't touch me.The first this happend I immediately flinched.
He looked so guilty and sad,and that made me even more sad
Since then,when I scream he always comes in and sits next to me.
He usually doesn't say anything,because he doesn't need to do anything more.
That's all he has to do for me.

'I love you' He whispers,probably thinking I didn't hear him

'I'm sorry' I answer and run to the bathroom and vomit.

'Oh God have mercy with me' I scream as I collapse on the cold floor.

He should be here.Dad should be here.He should be alive.

I go to the bedroom again and Niall still sits there on the bed,his head bowed.
He looks at me anxiously and then stands up and hugs me.
But I don't flinch.
I just stand there as he wraps his hands around me.
I've missed this.I missed him.

'I love you,too' I whisper into his chest and he looks down at me and his bleak eyes go back to their usual bright blue.
We stand there silently and it feels like forever and I don't want it to end.
That's just what I needed.

Niall lays the both of us,back and forth,not saying anything but just singing my favorite song
"The Parting Glass" to me until I fall into a sweet,needed slumber.



'Niall,Niall.Wake up' I lightly shake the boy before me.He looks at me bemused and I smile at him.It's three in the morning and I can't sleep anymore.I'm feeling more better,now that I let Niall comfort me

'What's wrong babe?'

'Could you drive me somewhere?' I ask slowly,not sure if he knows that this is not a dream

'At..three o'clock in the morning?' He asks and I nod my head
He knows that I'm serious,because soon after he grabs my hand and his car key and heads out of the apartement

'Where are we driving?'He asks as we sit in the car and fasten our seat belts

'To the Lion's Eye'

Notes

Heyaaaaaaaaaaaa.I promised that I'll do some more chapter,didn't I

It's just a filler,because my internet today was quiet a bitch

Hope you like it

Try to write some more tomorrow

Bye bye ♥♥

xxjustteenagedirtbags