I've Got This Friend

Ashton and I haven't spoken in days. His parents have been with him and his siblings a lot to explain to them what will be happening in the future. And by future, they mean divorce. Today, however, his parents invited me to come over, saying things about how he was taking this too well.

I knock on the door and Anne Marie greets me. "Hi honey." She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. "He's out the back."

I nod and start walking in that direction. "Ashton?" I call when don't see him. "Ash?" I call again. Then I hear the faint pounding of fists on a punching bag, and the static of music from headphones. There Ashton was, shirtless and sweaty punching with all his might.

I place my hand on his shoulder to stop his movements and he jumps so fast, I'm surprised I didn't get knocked in the face. "What the hell, Jessica?"

"Your mum invited me over. Says your not doing to well." I explain.

"Well obviously her judgment is cloudy theses days." He spats, going back to his punching.
"Ash we need to talk about this." I say, before he can put his headphones in.

"What'd you know?" His words had venom dripping from them. His eyes soften as he realizes what he said. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I know how you feel."

"But what if you didn't." When I don't answer, he elaborates. "What if you didn't know exactly how I feel?"

"Why wouldn't I? In case you forgot, my parents got divorced too."

Ash sighs. "But except all that, I have nobody to help me though this."

"Uh hello?" I wave my arms around, honestly getting annoyed with all his pointless banter.

"Yeah but its different."

"How is it different, Ashton? Your parents are getting divorced; just like mine did. I'm here to help you, I just need to know what you need."

Ash shakes his head, and punches his bag again. "It's not the same anymore, Jessie! When I was there for you when your parents divorced, we were friends with nothing wedged between us. Ever since I told you about how I feel, nothing has been going right for me. It's just a hug downward spiral and there's nothing you or anybody else can do about it! Rejection from you was enough to send me over the edge, but now thanks to my parents I think I'm finally there. Now I have no family and nobody I can rely on. The boys? I'm nowhere near as close to them as I was to you. You are my everything, but I'm not yours."

I could feel my heart breaking in my chest for him. I loved him to death, I really did, but I'm just not sure how. "Ashton, I'm still here." I say softly.

"No your not." He scoffs.

"Just tell me what you need, and I can try by best to give it to you."

"You know what I need?" Ash asks stepping closer to me. "I need you to need me. Just tell me you fucking need me!"

I knew that he needed me to say it honestly to him. He needed me to honestly need him, but I couldn't lie to him. "Please leave." He says turning his back to me.

"Ash-"

"Go, Jessica!"

And with that, I had no other choice but to turn on my heels.

---

"Marshmallows are better than jelly beans!" Was the argument between the three boys. Normally, I would've joined in, but I too down about Ashton.

"Jessie tell them jelly beans are better than marshmallows." Calum laughs, pushing on my shoulder.

"Jelly beans are better than marshmallows." I mumble without even looking up.

"Come on, Jessie. It's not your fault Ashton wants to be an ass all the sudden. He's just mad because you don't like him back." Michael says.

"He's way hurt that I don't like him back. But that's the thing. Do I like him back?"

"Do you?" Luke questions popping a jelly bean in his mouth.

"I- I don't-" I never get to finish that sentence as Luke's phone goes off and we all go silent seeing his face turn white.

"Ashton's in the hospital. He has no pulse."

Notes