I've Got This Friend

It's been two weeks since I've talked to Ash. I keep thinking that I should wait for him on my doorstep like usual, but he never shows. Sometimes I wait there just to see if he ever would show. I miss the sleepovers the guys and I used to have, and how Ash and I snuck out that night to the pool.

I know its only been two weeks but I feel like there's something missing without having them around me all the time. The other three boys see me when they have time. Michael's the one who normally will wait for me during school and walk me to all my classes. Luke and Calum sometimes do this too, but I wont hold anything against them since they're lazy and can't keep a schedule.

Michael keeps telling me that maybe this will pass over and we can all go back to being friends again, but I can tell there's something he's not telling me. It kind of feels like everyone knows what's up, but nobody will tell me. I wish I could know, though. Or I wish that somehow it would all just click and I would have an ah ha moment.

Jack hasn't talked to me either. When we pass one another in the hall ways, we nod to each other so were not just completely ignoring one another. I think that since we weren't really an official thing, we can't really act like we hate each other; even if he does hate me. Maybe we may become friends one day in the future.

As I walk into school, Michael and Luke are waiting for me by the doors. "There you are, we've been waiting forever." Luke complains.

"Ah get over it. You try walking to school while your half asleep."

"Or on an empty stomach. That would be a nightmare." Michael inputs.

"What are you doing today after school?" Luke asks.

I shrug. "I dunno. I don't really have much to do anymore since..."

"Yeah." They answer for me seeing as I couldn't finish the sentence. "Well we were going to see if you wanted to come to the pizzeria after school today." Michael grins.

"I'd love too. Is Ash not coming?" I find myself asking.

"He's taking care of his siblings tonight. You didn't hear this from me, but I think something's wrong with him. Other than the fact that you two aren't talking, of course. But he's been acting differently. We're barely even able to visit his home anymore." Luke dishes. He's always been the one for gossip.

"I'm sure it's nothing." I shrug it off. I'm sure it is something, actually. Ashton wouldn't tell his friends that they couldn't come over. Hell, he was always the one wanting us to come over too much.

I wave the boys off and make my way to my awful gym class.

+++

Sweating and out of breath, I make my over to the bleachers to sit down. My calf muscles hurt, and my face burns. I think I might be dying.

"Uh..Jessica?" I hear Ashton's voice from the side of me.

"Hi." I quietly say.

"C-can we go somewhere? We need to talk." He asks, nervously.

I nod and stand up to follow him. Luckily, I stopped sweating and I smelled nicer. We exit the gym and walk outside, underneath the large tree by the picnic tables. "So first off I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I should have never acted the way I did. It was selfish of me and I regret it so badly. Please be my friend again, Jessie, because I don't know what I'm going to do without you." Ashton please, water forming in the rims of his eyes.

"Ashton, you never stopped being my friend. You never will. Even if you really didn't want to be my friend, I could never let you go."

"Same goes for me. I have a confession to make. This actually might tear us apart, but I think it's time that you know." He sighs and puts his hands in his face.

I place my hand on his back. "Ash you can tell me anything. I won't think of you any differently."

"That's easy for you to say." He murmurs. Then he sighs. "Here goes nothing." One intake of air later and, "Jessica, I love you. Not in the way you love me though. You love me like a girl loves their best friend. I love you like a guy wants to spend the rest of his life with you. Th-that's. That's why I was so upset when I thought you were dating Jack. I thought my chance to have you as mine was over and I lost it. I thought it would be better if I just pushed you away, and to forget about you, but truth is. I cant be without you. Ever. If I have to keep you as a friend after this, then so be it. But I just thought you should know that I've been feeling this way ever since year 8. I also just wanted to let you know that I'm shitting while telling you this, that's how scared I am."

I'm speechless for a good moment. "A-Ashton, are you sure you feel this way? Maybe your confused."

"Nope." He says shaking his head. "I'm positive. Trust me."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't own me an explanation. Your not obligated to say anything." He shrugs.

"I feel like I should say something." I speak quietly. I look back into his gaze and before I know it, his lips are pressed to mine. The amount of electricity that rushes through me is enough to make me jump back. We both stare at each other, speechless.

I just kissed my best friend... I just kissed my best friend... I just kissed my best friend.. and I liked it...

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