A loud knock on my studio door brought Harry and I back to the real world. I giggled and tried to push Harry away from me. He wouldn't let go. We had let our bodies get carried away while waiting for Katy and her fiancé Seth. I rolled away from Harry and reached for my pants. He grabbed me around my waist and pulled me against his body tightly. Katy knocked on the door again.
"Harry!" I squealed as he nipped at my back. He giggled as he kissed my spine lightly. "I have to get dressed! Katy is here." I whined trying to stand from the bed. Harry finally released me. I jumped out of the bed and wiggled into my jeans, skipping my panties. As I slithered back into my bra, Harry stood to put his jeans on.
"ENOLA MOON!" Katy shouted from the hall.
"Coming!" I hollered back. I stole Harry's t-shirt from his hand and slipped into it. He shook his head and smiled. He grabbed another shirt and pulled it over his head quickly. I raced out of the bedroom to answer the door. Harry caught me in the hall. He wound his arms around my waist and kissed down my neck teasingly. A soft moan escaped my lips making Harry chuckle against my skin.
"ENOLA!" Katy shouted again. I elbowed Harry in the abs then scooted to the door. As soon as I had my hand around the door knob, Harry caught me again. He pressed me against the door, sliding his hands between my thighs. He kissed down the back of my neck lightly.
"Baby." I whined trying to keep my mind in control this time. "Stop. Or we're not going to make it through this evening." I whispered to him. With that he released me. I flung the door open and smiled brightly at my best friend. I jumped and yelped when Harry swatted my rear playfully. Seth muffled a laugh while Katy appeared annoyed. I turned and punched Harry in the chest lightly.
"Ouch!" Harry whined like a little kid. I glared at him which only made him laugh.
I turned back to Katy, "I'm sorry." Katy choked back a giggle and nodded. I let her and Seth into the apartment I had turned into an art studio. Katy and Seth turned to Harry and I. Harry suddenly appeared nervous as he snaked his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. Katy leaned forward and kissed my cheek. Seth did the same thing. When Seth leaned in though, Harry squeezed my shoulder gently. This boy and his jealousies. I hated it. "Katy, Seth, this is Harry." I stated politely. I looked up at Harry, "Bear. My bestest friend Katy and her fiancé Seth." Harry shook Seth's hand first, very manly and strong grip was visible between the two of them. Katy held her hand out to Harry. He took it gently then leaned in to kiss her cheek. I rubbed his back slowly to soothe his nerves of meeting them. "Well, come on then. In. In." I shooed Katy and Seth toward the main room of the studio. I had managed to clean up a lot of the stuff lying around but there were still wet canvases in the corner. Harry had been nice enough to clear off what used to be a dining room table that I had turned into a giant collage of photos.
"This is cleanest I've ever seen this place." Katy muttered in awe.
Harry smirked and mumbled, "Should see the bedroom." I quickly slapped him in the abs. I turned bright red when Katy turned to us.
"I'm fine. Thanks." Katy smiled knowingly. I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair. "So, what have you guys been up to all day?" Katy inquired trying to make conversation. Harry pursed his lips and stayed quiet.
"I worked on some paintings and I showed Harry how to work in the dark room." I replied honestly but leaving out the reason Harry was containing a smirk.
Katy's face brightened, "She showed you how to use the dark room? With the film she actually used?"
Harry lifted his eyebrow at her and nodded, "Yes. Why?"
Katy folded her arms over her chest, "I've known her for nearly ten years and she still won't let me help her develop her photos. You've known her less than a year and she lets you on the first try."
"It's gotta be that true love, soul mates thing." Harry replied with a shrug. Katy made a face that told me she thought Harry was adorable. I smiled up at the man of my dreams as I leaned into him a little more. "I'm doing that sweetest guy ever thing again, right?" Harry inquired when he looked down at me. I bit my lip and nodded. Harry chuckled and kissed my forehead.
"Aren't you supposed to be cooking something?" Seth asked with a fake attitude. Katy and I rolled our eyes.
"I should check on dinner." I stated. I looked up at Harry, "I'll be right back, okay?" He nodded and released me. I scooted off to the kitchen to make sure I hadn't burned anything. I was pleased when I could still hear Katy and Seth talking to Harry.
"So..." Katy began. "You like LA?"
"Yeah." Harry was trying not to laugh. "Been here a lot with the band."
"Oh right. Duh." Katy sounded embarrassed. "Are you..." Katy huffed as she stopped herself. She was rethinking her question.
"Katy, I've heard almost everything. You can say what you want." Harry spoke kindly to her.
"You better not change your mind. I've known that girl longer than anyone beside her mother. She doesn't let people in. She loves you. More than I've ever seen her love anyone or anything. You better not change your mind about being with her." Katy warned him.
"I never would. She's my everything." Harry replied. It was silent for a moment. "Katy. I promise. I'm not leaving her. For any reason." I smiled to myself as I opened the oven to check the dinner I was making.
"You better not. I have made friends in your fandom. I will find you." Katy threatened him. I started to laugh quietly while Harry cracked up in the other room.
I returned to the main room to see Harry on the love seat while Katy and Seth lounged on the big sofa. Harry patted the cushion beside him with a smile. I quickly took my seat beside him. I scooted as close to him as I could while keeping it comfortable for Katy and Seth. I rested my hand on Harry's thigh to make it feel more normal. Harry had his fingers brushing my shoulder as his arm rested on the back of the sofa. I noticed Katy smiling a little across the room.
"So, Enola, Seth and I were talking earlier about the gallery in Ireland. Have you been doing good there?" Katy inquired.
I nodded, "Yeah, for being a complete unknown." I giggled, "But I think Sorcha and Lochlan have been buying most of it." Katy rolled her eyes. "What, Katy?" I grunted.
"Step mom. Dad. You should call your dad dad." Katy responded.
I shook my head, "Don't want to."
"Enola, he's been in your life for almost as long as I have, you should call him dad." Katy seemed more concerned than angry. I shook my head again. Katy looked to Harry, "Don't you think she should call him dad?" Harry lifted his eyebrow at Katy. "Oh come on Harry. You think she should, too, don't you?"
"Actually, I don't. It makes her uncomfortable. And even if I did, I wouldn't be able to change her mind on it. Maybe, eventually she will but right now, not going to happen." Harry answered lowly. I could tell he was annoyed but didn't want to start an argument. Katy appeared a bit shocked.
"Anyway, Harry, how long are you staying in LA?" Seth asked to clear the small amount of tension in the room.
"Just a few more days. I have to be back with the boys for a show on Saturday." Harry responded.
"Doesn't Charles come back on Sunday?" Katy inquired nervously. Harry tensed a bit at the mention of my husband's name.
"Yes but Harry has a show Sunday half way across the world. He has to leave Saturday." I was worried about Harry's reaction to the question.
Katy looked at Harry, "I'm sorry."
Harry shrugged, "For what? Valid concern." Katy appeared sad while Harry just held me tighter.
"Can we talk about this please? I mean...Enola, I know that you're happy and Harry you seem like a great guy but at the same time bad things could happen." Seth said with concern.
Katy nodded in agreement, "He's right. Enola and I have spoken about this already, but Harry, you've never met Charles and I'm not so sure that you could handle the man if you ever did."
Harry shrugged, "I can hold my own. I'm not really concerned about me. If he found out because I was in the room, then Enola would be protected. I worry about what will happen if he finds out and I'm not around." Harry looked at me lovingly before turning back to Katy and Seth. "We're very careful about the things we do and when we do them to keep her from being photographed with me. And we've been trying not to go to the places here in LA that she knows the people in her life frequent."
"You can be careful all you want but I still think that Charles is sneaky and will figure this out." Seth stated quietly. Harry grunted softly enough so that just I would hear him. I knew he was angry, not because of the topic of discussion but because we'd heard it all before from everyone in his life. I squeezed his thigh as a way to comfort him. Harry kissed the side of my head lightly to make me feel better as well.
Katy had a motherly tone as she said, "We're not trying to be mean. We just want you to understand the risk that you are taking."
"Worth it." Harry and I spoke in unison. Katy and Seth both smiled a little. I leaned into Harry a bit more, resting my forehead on his strong jaw.
Harry looked at Katy with confused eyes, "Weren't you just making me promise not to change my mind about this?" Katy just nodded. Harry's voice grew a bit deeper, "Then why do I feel like you're trying to make me change my mind?"
"I'm not. I'm still just making sure that you won't." Katy beamed at him. Harry just lifted his eyebrow and shrugged off the conversation. We knew what we were doing.
Harry and Seth were still seated in the main room of the studio while Katy and I were in the kitchen preparing the rest of dinner. I insisted that I could do it alone but Katy insisted on helping. We could hear the boys talking about football. I just shook my head when Harry started to rave about the Packers. I then heard the boys get up and come toward the kitchen.
"Yo, Enola!" Seth shouted as he and Harry came into the kitchen. I turned to Seth and Harry but didn't say anything. "Harry said that he loves the Packers. Did you know this?" Seth inquired with a concerned tone. I nodded but kept going about my cooking routine. "Enola, aren't you a Bears fan? Like a crazy Bears fan?" Seth asked once more. I just shook my head and tried not to laugh.
"Enola, you're a Packers fan now?" Katy nearly shrieked at me.
I nodded, "Yep. Love the Packers." Seth stared at me like I had lost my mind while Harry hopped up onto the counter next to me. He pulled my hair gently to get my attention. I looked up at him only to have him motion me closer. I leaned in. But before he could say what he wanted Katy opened her mouth.
"Why?" Katy shouted at me again.
I smirked a bit, "Harry makes a very persuasive argument." Harry blushed bright red and bit down on his bottom lip. Katy put her hands on her hips and looked at me with her sassy expression that demanded an explanation. Katy lifted her eyes to see Harry's embarrassed face.
Katy giggled, "I get it." Harry blushed even more and let his hair fall in front of his face a little bit.
"Well I don't." Seth grunted. Katy motioned to Harry's bright red face and my stupid smile. "OOOHHH! I get it. I'm there." Seth uttered in realization.
"Okay. So now that everyone knows that. I'm going to go somewhere else." Harry grumbled, moving like he was going to slide off the counter. I placed my hand on his stomach, holding him in place. Harry gave me pleading eyes. I slipped my hand under his shirt and stroked his skin lightly. Harry nodded and scooted back onto the counter. I lifted myself onto my toes and kissed Harry's lips sweetly.
"I love you." I murmured so only he could hear it.
Harry rested his forehead on mine and buried his hand in my hair, "I love you." He pressed his lips to mine once more. I turned to Katy and Seth when Harry and I were done being wrapped up in each other for the moment. Katy was trying to hide a smile while Seth just grinned at us. "Why are you looking at us like that?" Harry inquired, squirming like he was uncomfortable.
"You are cute." Katy replied with a tiny giggle. I shook my head at her once again, returning to my dinner prep. "So, Harry, what are your plans once the divorce goes through? Do you guys have any plans?" Katy asked casually.
Harry shrugged, "Kind of a general idea, I suppose. We'll finalize things when it gets closer. I don't want Enola to have too much on her plate."
"Well, do you know what you're going to do as far as a living arrangement? Harry, you're London based, right?" Seth inquired trying to get us to divulge plans.
"Yeah, but I can split time if need be. And we talked about Enola coming to London. We'll just see how it unfolds I guess." Harry answered honestly. I felt bad for not having all of the answers. And I could tell Harry was upset by my apprehension to make specific plans. I wanted to give him everything he wanted but I didn't want to move to fast after my marriage was over. I didn't want Harry to end up regretting anything.
I noticed Katy looking at me with saddened eyes, "Enola, what do you want to do?"
I sighed softly, "I will do whatever Harry asks me to do." Harry grunted softly. He hated that answer. I flicked my eyes up to his to see disappointment and irritation. I looked over at Katy and Seth again. They too looked displeased with my answer. "What? Why is everyone so pissed at me right now?"
"Seriously?" Katy was dumbfounded. "You've spent the last five years in a marriage you didn't really want to be in, now you're finally almost out. You've got a man that truly loves you and wants to be with you and you don't have a dream for the life you and Harry are going to have? There's nothing that you want when you and Harry can just be together?" Katy ranted at me.
"That's all I want. I've got him. What the hell else do I need?" I muttered, annoyed with the sudden scrutiny. Katy frowned and leaned into Seth. Harry gripped my arm gently. I didn't want to look up at him. I didn't want to see his expression.
"Hey, Seth and I can set the table." Katy said grabbing the plates and silverware she had taken out a few minutes before. She handed the stack to Seth then kicked him out of the kitchen. I shook my head once again. Between my friends and Harry's, we had no subtlety in our lives.
"Noli, baby." Harry spoke softly, like he was trying not to make me upset. I glanced up at him for just a moment. The concern in his eyes nearly broke my heart. "Noli. Look at me." I sighed and dropped my hands to the counter. I stared up at Harry with an expressionless face. "Why don't you want to make a plan? Why don't you want to talk about what you want after the divorce goes through?" I didn't say a word. "Noli, talk to me." Harry pleaded.
"It's just better that way. Okay?" I replied and tried to go back to making the rest of our meal.
"No. It's not okay. What the fuck do you mean it’s better that way? You don't want to move in together? You don't want to get married again? You don't want a family with me?" Harry asked sadly.
"Harry, you're twenty, why are you asking me about kids?" I huffed quietly.
"Well, I'm not saying I want you to start poppin' them out now. But maybe...like when things slow down with the band, when I'm not touring as much, it'd be nice." Harry spoke like he was slightly embarrassed by the confession. I dropped my head and tried to hold back the tears. "Enola, why don't you want to talk about these things?" Harry was getting mad at me now. "I'm not saying we have to start doing any of the things you want right now. I just want to know what you want."
"It doesn't matter, Harry." I mumbled.
"Yeah! It does! It takes two people to make this work! Why are you shutting out any possibility that would make you happy?" Harry shouted. Great. A fight. Not what I wanted for this holiday together. And definitely not what I wanted when Katy and Seth were over.
"Because I don't deserve any of it!" I hollered back at him. Harry's face went from pissed off to grief-stricken. "God damnit, Harry." I grumbled wiping my eyes quickly. Harry jumped off the counter and stood next to me. "I don't deserve any of what we could have. If I say I want anything but you...I'm already asking the universe too much just to be with you. I shouldn't tempt the fates by asking for anything more." Harry spun me to face him. He pulled me closer so my body was completely pressed to his. Harry locked his wrists at the back of my neck, keeping me where I was.
"Enough with that shit. You are perfect. You deserve everything you want in this life. Stop letting him tear you down and make you think that you don't." Harry spoke with a venom toward Charles that I'd never heard from him before.
"This has nothing to do with Charles and everything to do with you." I murmured. Harry's anger didn't fade. "You are a wonderful, beautiful, loving man that deserves so much more than this, than me. Every time we have to separate, every time someone mentions Charles, I see the look in your eyes. I see the pain and the jealousy. You shouldn't have to feel that. I shouldn't be making you feel like that. All that you are going through...I don't deserve the things I want from this. I don't deserve any of this at all. You deserve something better. Someone better."
"I don't want better. I want you. I love you. And this is Charles talking, not you. You are not a horrible person. I am asking for all of this. I could've ended this when I found out you were married. I didn't. I don't care. You're leaving him because you love me. It only hurts to walk away after a holiday because I love you so much and I worry about you being here with him. I'm jealous because he gets to see you all the time and he doesn't even appreciate the woman you are. If he even knows the woman you really are. I will give you whatever you want. Anything you want." Harry's voice was deeper than normal and it was making me tremble. He was so full of conviction.
"Harry..." I tried to protest but was cut off by his finger on my lips.
"You deserve whatever you want. You are not a horrible person because of the situation right now. Sometimes things are out of our control. We got lost in this. We didn't plan it." He stared into my eyes intensely. "Fuck tempting the fates, they put us here, didn't they?" Harry inquired. I gave a single nod. "What do you want, Noli?"
"I don't know. I've not thought about it. I've not gotten past wanting a divorce and being with you. Right now, that's all I want. Can we please figure the other stuff out later once I've got the other two?" I asked softly. I was trying to keep myself from crying now. Harry was nearly glaring at me now. I sighed heavily and began to list what I wanted. "I want us to get out of LA. I want you to meet my mom. I want to hold your hand when we walk down the street. HELL, I want to walk down the street with you. I want to say that I'm in love with you." Harry wiped the tears from my face as he rested his forehead on mine. "I don't want to hide anymore." I whispered. Harry quickly captured my lips between his. The fire he kissed me with told me he wanted all of the same things and more. His kiss assured me that we were going to make it through all of this. I hoped we were going to make it through.