Identity
Chapter Seven
Lacy's POV
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
I woke up with a jerk frigtened by the alert coming from my phone. I crawl to the edge of the bed and grabbed it from the side table.
Selena: Hey girl! Long time no see. I hope your show goes great tonight, being the amazing singer you are, your gonna rock that house. Your brother wants you to call him. He said he's called you several times. I bet he forgot about the time difference.
I laughed at her text before responding back.
Me: Lol! Okay I'll text him later. Thanks, I hope my show goes great tonight too. I actually need to start getting ready for rehearsal. I'll talk to you later. Love you!
I put my phone back on the bedside table and stood up from the warm comfortable bed. I took my wog off making sure the door was locked and took a long hot shower, playing the lyrics to my newest song in my head over and over again. In was in the shower for half and hour or so and decided it was time to get out. I dry off and snuck out of my bathroom. I ran to my door and locked it so none of the boys could see me without my wig. Then I started my normal routine. I get dressed, brush my teeth, comb my regular hair, comb my fake hair... As I start brushing my pink wig I feel something in my heart. I need a change. I quickly secure my wig over my hair and speed out my door and the front door, grabbing my coat and phone and money before I leave.
The New York air is cold. Turning my cheeks pink right when it hits me. I pull my coat tighter as I stand outside the hotel. I grab my phone and search on Google for the best wig shop in the city. They first thing that pops up is a store called "Wigs an Things" I see it has the most stars and decide that's where I'll go. I hail a cab covering my face so the driver won't notice me. Once inside I give him the address of the shop and he started driving. I duck down behind the seat and take my wig off. Great now no one will get suspicious when they see Popstar Lacy Shalts in a wig shop. I sit back up just in time to see the cab driver pulling up to the shop. I handed him a hundred dollar bill and told him to keep the change. He looked at me shocked but I just smiled and shut the door. Inside the shop there were wigs of all shapes and colors everywhere. I don't know what color to choose from. After looking for over an hour I finally picked my color. Red. I chose a bunch of red shades to show my hair fading over time, so I'd have to get a new color in a month or so. I purchased the wigs and left the store. In the cab ride home I changed into my new and improved hair. I wonder what the lads will think. Well I know Harry and Liam won't like it. But maybe Niall and Louis will...
"Excuse me mill we're... Are you Lacy? Lacy Shalts?" He asked.
"Yes I am." I smiled genuinely at him.
"My daughter is a huge fan! Do you think you could sign thins for her?" He said holding up a notebook opened to a blank page. I smile taking the pen and notebook scribbling down my name and a message for the nice mans daughter.
"Here you go. And here's your money." I said handing him a hundred dollar bill for the fifteen dollar trip. I shut the cab door and started to walk towards the hotel doors when the cab driver opened his window and yelled something that made me smile.
"Oh and Mrs.Shalts, I like your hair." I smiled at him for the hundredth time the walked into the hotel. The elevator ride up to the penthouse floor consisted of me thinking of what the boys would say. I unlocked the door and entered the penthouse. I heard the TV blasting and the boys whispering. They were watching E-News.
"Wow! Just wow. A few moments at our photographers spotted Popstar Lacy Shalts climbing out of a cab, signing a notebook for the driver and paying him with a one hundred dollar bill, but that's not the shocking part, everyone take a look at this picture and soak in the new luscious hair of Lacys." The reporter said then a picture of me smiling at the cab driver popped up on the screen. My red hair in full view of everyone watching. I heard all the lads gasp in front of me, their attention still fully on the screen.
"That's right everyone. Lacy now has RED hair. I think she's rocking ten times better then Ariana. We also have more picture form when she was walking in her hotel. So lucky fans going to tonight's One Direction show, leave a comment below tomorrow telling us about Lacys amazingly beautiful hair color and how it looked in person. Back to James in the studio." She spoke. I smiled to myself happily, taking in the fact that people like my new hair. I blushed a little before turning my attention back to the boys.
"That girl is something else." Louis said in awe. "'She's not afraid of doing what she wants and getting judged for it. That's amazing." He told everyone out loud. I walked back to the front door and opened and closed it loudly, making it seek like I just came in. I walked back to the living room again and now all the boys were staring at me.
"Hello!" I chirped. Harry and Liam looked at me shocked while Niall and Louis were grinning at me like dorks.
"Do you like it?" Is asked them spinning in a cicle so they could see it all.
"I don't like" Niall paused. I frowned deeply. "I love it!" He yelled standing up and twirling me around.
"I do too Lacy. I think that color suits you." Louis said studying my hair some more.
"Well while those two grumpy boys stare at me, I'm gonna go get ready to go to the arena. I told them skipping down the hallway to my room. I shut my door and locked it. I looked at myself in the mirror. I love it. I dance around my room idiotically but was interrupted by my phone ringing. I picked up the phone not bothering to look at the number.
"Hello is this Shayla?' A male voice asked.
"Why yes it is. May I ask who's calling?" I said giggly.
"It's Niall." I almost dropped the phone hearing that. He called me. He thinks I'm Shayla. I am Shayla. He just doesn't know it.
"Oh, h-hi!" I stutter.
"Hello love, how are you?" He asked sweetly.
"I'm great. I thought you weren't gonna call me." I admitted.
"No, trust me I was, I was just busy with flying and my mates and all that stuff." He sighed.
"I understand." What Shayla. No you don't understand! Your not a secret singer!
"Um not to give you the wrong impression, but why did you call me?" I asked him Nicely.
"I wanted to know if you'd like to hang out sometime. I'm in New your for a couple more days but then we head back over to where you are in Florida for some recording studio stuff and a couple shows." He said nervously.
"Um, I don't know." I heard silence on the other side. Oh well now I feel bad.
"Actually that would be great." I said excitedly. What are you doing! This is not supposed to happen!
"Really! Okay then I'll text you tomorrow for some more details. I can't wait to see you again." He was excited to see me. If only he knew.
"I can't wait either. Bye Niall."
"Bye love." Once he hung up, I let out a deep breath. What have I done. I need to get ready.
"I pack some essentials. Deodorant, my perfume, my wigs wrapped inside and oversized shirt, and put them all in my bag. My dressing room is supposed to already have my outfit inside. I hope it's cute. It's 3:00 now. We are leaving in five minutes for the arena. I'm kind of excited for sound check, the boys get to hear the new songs I wrote. I really don't care if they like them or not, they should just know that I'm tough competition. I'll be singing two new songs tonight, one of them is called Human and the other one is called Blown Away. (Once again, in this fanfic its her music! I love these songs.)
I was snapped out of my thinking session by Louis knocking on my door. Shit, my wig isn't on. I panicked throwing things around to find my wig.
"H-hold on!" I yell out. I slip my wig on and pin it in place quickly before walking to my door, unlocking it and opening it to reveal a smiley Louis.
"Hello love, it's time to leave. You'll be riding with us over to the arena and were living in a second." He told me. I just nodded at him, suddenly feeling my nerves kick in. I'm gonna perform in front of a stadium with over 50,000 fans. They may not be my fans, but there still people that have opinions about me, that can judge me, break me.
"Aww are you nervous? Don't be. We can't wait to hear your new song in sound check today. Well all be watching you. No pressure. You'll do great, I promise." He grinned possibly bigger then before.
"Thanks. Umm, we better get going." I said ending the awkward silence. He nodded and motioned for me to walk in front of him. (Random fact, I read online that most boys just do this so they can stare at the girls butt as she walks, men have confirmed it. Lol sorry I'm weird. Anyway...) I walked out in front of him and we made our way towards the door. The rest of the room was quiet so I imagined the boys were waiting in the lobby. We walked to the elevator and went down to the lobby to meet the boys. When we were down there, nobody said a word to anyone we just walked to the limo. I wanted to start a conversation to end the awkwardness but I was afraid of the rude things Liam or Harry could say. So I just looked through Twitter. I was reading through all the comments on my latest phone of the view from my room in the penthouse when one comment caught my attention.
OneDirentionIsMyBae: @Lacy_Shalts_Official Stay the fuck away from One Direction you worthless hoe! Your gonna get it tonight at the concert. You have no clue what's coming. If I were you, I'd watch my fucking back.
What the actual fuck is wrong with directioners these days. I'm scared shitless. I feel my face go pale and my stomach drop. Did I just get a threat?
"Lacy what's wrong?" Niall asked grabbing my shoulder. I gulp before speaking.
"I-it's nothing." I forced myself to look him in the eyes, but regretted it and turned my head as soon as I looked at him. Automatically he took out his phone and opened Twitter. I saw on my most recent photo as he searched through the comments. I watched as He looked through all the comments until he saw the one I was reading.
"Oh Lacy, don't listen to them. They don't have the guts to do anything when we're backstage I promise you, your as safe as it gets." He told me with sympathy evident in his voice. I nodded and focused on the surrounding outside the limo. I tuned out the boys conversations until we got to the venue. I have to start my pre-show ritual, rude or not that means I don't talk to anyone, I stay to myself. When we get out of the car at the back of the building I'm met by my manager Angie.
"Okay Lacy. No talking start you ritual of deep breathing, and let's get you warmed up." She smiled at me. I nodded and did what she said. The boys chuckled but I just ignored it. Yeah it may be weird the way I get ready but you know what, it's unique and its me. We all entered the the back hallway and split into our dressing rooms. I just dropped my bag off and headed towards the main stage with Angie.
"Okay Lacy do your scales, Now! We're behind Schedule." She said bitchily. She acts fake around people but with me she is rude. I sang my low and high notes, and ended just in time as the boys walked in and sat in the front row seats to watch me.
"Okay Lacy, I want you to practice the high notes in Human. Or you know what let's just run through the whole song." I nodded. I'm still not allowed to speak unless it's to sing.
I get get in my starting spot for the song and grip my microphone tightly. Why am I so nervous to perform in front of them? Just get it done and over with. I nodded to the piano player and he started doing his thing, now I just need to do mine.
"I can hold my breath. I can bite my tounge. I can stay awake for days if that's what you want, be your number one. I can fake a smile, I can force a laugh. I can dance and play the part if that's what you ask, give you all I am. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it." I sang. I take a deep breath and get ready to sing high notes. Breathe Shayla. Breathe.
"But I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down. I'm only human, and I crash and I break down. Your words in my head, knives in my heart, you build me up and then I fall apart, 'Cause I'm only human." I sang and then the music stopped.
"We don't need to hear all of it, it sounded good enough from just that part so let's move on. I smile at her and then the music for Blown Away started.
"Dry lightning cracked across the skies, those storm clouds gathered in her eyes. Her daddy was a mean old mister, mama was an angel in the ground, the weather man called for a twis-"
"STOP! Lacy how many times do I have to tell you. It needs emotion. I want you think about... Think about your father when your singing." She said hesitantly. I closed my eyes quickly hearing the word father echo in my head like it does in the movies. I instantly felt a pain in my heart. Betrayal. Sadness, or was that pure anger? I could feel my face growing red, so I reached down and drank some of my water, hoping to swallow the huge lump in my throat.
"Okay." I whisper quietly. She hit me hard.
"Let's try it again." She smiled sweetly at me. My father is a subject she rarely brings up but when she does bring him up she's always sweet to me. Like she understands what I'm going through. I can put emotion in this song. I can make every person in this room cry. That's what I'll do.
"Dry lightning cracks across the skies. Those storm clouds gathered in her eyes. Her daddy was a mean old mister, Mama is an angel in the ground, the weather man called for a twister she prayed to blow it down. There's not enough rain in Oklahoma, to wash the sins out of that house, there's not enough wind in Oklahoma, to rip the nail out of the past. Shatter every window till it's all blown away! Every brick, every board, every slamming door, blown away! Till there's nothing left standing, nothing left from yesterday. Every tear soaked whiskey memory blown away. Blown away!" I hit the last high note in the chorus. The music kept going but I couldn't. I was supposed to start the verse over a measure ago.
The man stopped playing and everyone looked at me with watery eyes. I looked to the lads to see even Harry and Liam looked as if they would cry. I ran off the stage and into my dressing room. I locked the door and cried. I've cried so much lately. I'm sick of it. Sick of people walking all over me, pushing me aside to get what they want. I'm done with it. I groan and walk over to my dressing room table and looked in the mirror. I saw myself and how different I look. I glared at myself in disgust. I suddenly got so angry I used my arm to push everything off the table top. Cans of hairspray and god knows what else, mirrors and glass shattered everywhere. And there they laid on the ground in peices. Just like me. I can help but feel that this is how my father wanted me to feel. Angry, upset, vulnerable, as if I could break at the touch of someone's Hand. But I won't. Not with my mom here and everyone around me. I can't let them take vantage of me.
I heard knocking on my dressing room door but I just ignored it. Instead I got changed and ready for tonight show, which started in less than two hours. The knocking finally stopped after a good ten minuites. I knew it was one of the boys because right after it stopped you could hear them practicing on the stage. I got dressed in the slightly revealing outfit but I guess it's in style so I don't really care. Someone started knocking on my door again but this time I had to let them in because it was my hairstylist and cosmetologist, she's friends with the boys. Her name is Lou. We have became great friend over the past hour or so while she fixed me up.
"All done Shayla." Yeah she knows. She's required to know, why One direction doesn't know, I can't answer that.
"We'll call time for you is in ten minuites so I'd use the bathroom and Angie told me to tell you to not talk to anyone and do your breathing exercise. She scares me so that's why I just told you." I laugh at Lou's words and walked towards the door. I went to the bathroom with five minuites to spare. I'm not nervous anymore. I know what I'm doing. I know I'll do good. I always do good. I'm just scared about what thay fan said even though Niall told me I was safe. I stood next to the director and waited for him to tell me to go on. I could hear lots of people screaming because they knew the shows about to start. I get the nod from the director. I slowly walk on the platform under the stage so I could pop out of the ground. I heard the crew counting down for my shoot up. Here I go.
"3...2...1... Let's rock this show Lacy!" I felt this rush of adrenaline as I shot up on the stage. Screaming erupted from the crowd as I started to sing my song "Sorry For Loving You"
Screams everywhere. My next song was Human. And let me tell you. The crowd LOVED it! Now I'm about to sing Blown Away.
"Now I'm gonna sing a song that has a strong meaning to me. It's about abuse. I just want all my fans to know that this is a serious subject and if you ever need to talk I'm here. I love you guys! I'd do anything for you all. This is another new song, this ones called Blown Aw-"
"Lacy! Take this you stupid whore!" Before I could make out what was happening something hard, and I mean hard, hit my forehead right above my right eye. I let out a scream before falling to the stage ground. After that everything was in slow motion. I reached up and touched my head, but flinched back. I looked at my hand to see nothing other then blood. I heard some yelling and then some loud footsteps, but most of all I heard this loud thumping noise inside my head. My vision was clouding slowly. Above me, I could make out Harry and Liam's frightened faces before my vision went black.
BEEP BEEP BEEP!
I woke up with a jerk frigtened by the alert coming from my phone. I crawl to the edge of the bed and grabbed it from the side table.
Selena: Hey girl! Long time no see. I hope your show goes great tonight, being the amazing singer you are, your gonna rock that house. Your brother wants you to call him. He said he's called you several times. I bet he forgot about the time difference.
I laughed at her text before responding back.
Me: Lol! Okay I'll text him later. Thanks, I hope my show goes great tonight too. I actually need to start getting ready for rehearsal. I'll talk to you later. Love you!
I put my phone back on the bedside table and stood up from the warm comfortable bed. I took my wog off making sure the door was locked and took a long hot shower, playing the lyrics to my newest song in my head over and over again. In was in the shower for half and hour or so and decided it was time to get out. I dry off and snuck out of my bathroom. I ran to my door and locked it so none of the boys could see me without my wig. Then I started my normal routine. I get dressed, brush my teeth, comb my regular hair, comb my fake hair... As I start brushing my pink wig I feel something in my heart. I need a change. I quickly secure my wig over my hair and speed out my door and the front door, grabbing my coat and phone and money before I leave.
The New York air is cold. Turning my cheeks pink right when it hits me. I pull my coat tighter as I stand outside the hotel. I grab my phone and search on Google for the best wig shop in the city. They first thing that pops up is a store called "Wigs an Things" I see it has the most stars and decide that's where I'll go. I hail a cab covering my face so the driver won't notice me. Once inside I give him the address of the shop and he started driving. I duck down behind the seat and take my wig off. Great now no one will get suspicious when they see Popstar Lacy Shalts in a wig shop. I sit back up just in time to see the cab driver pulling up to the shop. I handed him a hundred dollar bill and told him to keep the change. He looked at me shocked but I just smiled and shut the door. Inside the shop there were wigs of all shapes and colors everywhere. I don't know what color to choose from. After looking for over an hour I finally picked my color. Red. I chose a bunch of red shades to show my hair fading over time, so I'd have to get a new color in a month or so. I purchased the wigs and left the store. In the cab ride home I changed into my new and improved hair. I wonder what the lads will think. Well I know Harry and Liam won't like it. But maybe Niall and Louis will...
"Excuse me mill we're... Are you Lacy? Lacy Shalts?" He asked.
"Yes I am." I smiled genuinely at him.
"My daughter is a huge fan! Do you think you could sign thins for her?" He said holding up a notebook opened to a blank page. I smile taking the pen and notebook scribbling down my name and a message for the nice mans daughter.
"Here you go. And here's your money." I said handing him a hundred dollar bill for the fifteen dollar trip. I shut the cab door and started to walk towards the hotel doors when the cab driver opened his window and yelled something that made me smile.
"Oh and Mrs.Shalts, I like your hair." I smiled at him for the hundredth time the walked into the hotel. The elevator ride up to the penthouse floor consisted of me thinking of what the boys would say. I unlocked the door and entered the penthouse. I heard the TV blasting and the boys whispering. They were watching E-News.
"Wow! Just wow. A few moments at our photographers spotted Popstar Lacy Shalts climbing out of a cab, signing a notebook for the driver and paying him with a one hundred dollar bill, but that's not the shocking part, everyone take a look at this picture and soak in the new luscious hair of Lacys." The reporter said then a picture of me smiling at the cab driver popped up on the screen. My red hair in full view of everyone watching. I heard all the lads gasp in front of me, their attention still fully on the screen.
"That's right everyone. Lacy now has RED hair. I think she's rocking ten times better then Ariana. We also have more picture form when she was walking in her hotel. So lucky fans going to tonight's One Direction show, leave a comment below tomorrow telling us about Lacys amazingly beautiful hair color and how it looked in person. Back to James in the studio." She spoke. I smiled to myself happily, taking in the fact that people like my new hair. I blushed a little before turning my attention back to the boys.
"That girl is something else." Louis said in awe. "'She's not afraid of doing what she wants and getting judged for it. That's amazing." He told everyone out loud. I walked back to the front door and opened and closed it loudly, making it seek like I just came in. I walked back to the living room again and now all the boys were staring at me.
"Hello!" I chirped. Harry and Liam looked at me shocked while Niall and Louis were grinning at me like dorks.
"Do you like it?" Is asked them spinning in a cicle so they could see it all.
"I don't like" Niall paused. I frowned deeply. "I love it!" He yelled standing up and twirling me around.
"I do too Lacy. I think that color suits you." Louis said studying my hair some more.
"Well while those two grumpy boys stare at me, I'm gonna go get ready to go to the arena. I told them skipping down the hallway to my room. I shut my door and locked it. I looked at myself in the mirror. I love it. I dance around my room idiotically but was interrupted by my phone ringing. I picked up the phone not bothering to look at the number.
"Hello is this Shayla?' A male voice asked.
"Why yes it is. May I ask who's calling?" I said giggly.
"It's Niall." I almost dropped the phone hearing that. He called me. He thinks I'm Shayla. I am Shayla. He just doesn't know it.
"Oh, h-hi!" I stutter.
"Hello love, how are you?" He asked sweetly.
"I'm great. I thought you weren't gonna call me." I admitted.
"No, trust me I was, I was just busy with flying and my mates and all that stuff." He sighed.
"I understand." What Shayla. No you don't understand! Your not a secret singer!
"Um not to give you the wrong impression, but why did you call me?" I asked him Nicely.
"I wanted to know if you'd like to hang out sometime. I'm in New your for a couple more days but then we head back over to where you are in Florida for some recording studio stuff and a couple shows." He said nervously.
"Um, I don't know." I heard silence on the other side. Oh well now I feel bad.
"Actually that would be great." I said excitedly. What are you doing! This is not supposed to happen!
"Really! Okay then I'll text you tomorrow for some more details. I can't wait to see you again." He was excited to see me. If only he knew.
"I can't wait either. Bye Niall."
"Bye love." Once he hung up, I let out a deep breath. What have I done. I need to get ready.
"I pack some essentials. Deodorant, my perfume, my wigs wrapped inside and oversized shirt, and put them all in my bag. My dressing room is supposed to already have my outfit inside. I hope it's cute. It's 3:00 now. We are leaving in five minutes for the arena. I'm kind of excited for sound check, the boys get to hear the new songs I wrote. I really don't care if they like them or not, they should just know that I'm tough competition. I'll be singing two new songs tonight, one of them is called Human and the other one is called Blown Away. (Once again, in this fanfic its her music! I love these songs.)
I was snapped out of my thinking session by Louis knocking on my door. Shit, my wig isn't on. I panicked throwing things around to find my wig.
"H-hold on!" I yell out. I slip my wig on and pin it in place quickly before walking to my door, unlocking it and opening it to reveal a smiley Louis.
"Hello love, it's time to leave. You'll be riding with us over to the arena and were living in a second." He told me. I just nodded at him, suddenly feeling my nerves kick in. I'm gonna perform in front of a stadium with over 50,000 fans. They may not be my fans, but there still people that have opinions about me, that can judge me, break me.
"Aww are you nervous? Don't be. We can't wait to hear your new song in sound check today. Well all be watching you. No pressure. You'll do great, I promise." He grinned possibly bigger then before.
"Thanks. Umm, we better get going." I said ending the awkward silence. He nodded and motioned for me to walk in front of him. (Random fact, I read online that most boys just do this so they can stare at the girls butt as she walks, men have confirmed it. Lol sorry I'm weird. Anyway...) I walked out in front of him and we made our way towards the door. The rest of the room was quiet so I imagined the boys were waiting in the lobby. We walked to the elevator and went down to the lobby to meet the boys. When we were down there, nobody said a word to anyone we just walked to the limo. I wanted to start a conversation to end the awkwardness but I was afraid of the rude things Liam or Harry could say. So I just looked through Twitter. I was reading through all the comments on my latest phone of the view from my room in the penthouse when one comment caught my attention.
OneDirentionIsMyBae: @Lacy_Shalts_Official Stay the fuck away from One Direction you worthless hoe! Your gonna get it tonight at the concert. You have no clue what's coming. If I were you, I'd watch my fucking back.
What the actual fuck is wrong with directioners these days. I'm scared shitless. I feel my face go pale and my stomach drop. Did I just get a threat?
"Lacy what's wrong?" Niall asked grabbing my shoulder. I gulp before speaking.
"I-it's nothing." I forced myself to look him in the eyes, but regretted it and turned my head as soon as I looked at him. Automatically he took out his phone and opened Twitter. I saw on my most recent photo as he searched through the comments. I watched as He looked through all the comments until he saw the one I was reading.
"Oh Lacy, don't listen to them. They don't have the guts to do anything when we're backstage I promise you, your as safe as it gets." He told me with sympathy evident in his voice. I nodded and focused on the surrounding outside the limo. I tuned out the boys conversations until we got to the venue. I have to start my pre-show ritual, rude or not that means I don't talk to anyone, I stay to myself. When we get out of the car at the back of the building I'm met by my manager Angie.
"Okay Lacy. No talking start you ritual of deep breathing, and let's get you warmed up." She smiled at me. I nodded and did what she said. The boys chuckled but I just ignored it. Yeah it may be weird the way I get ready but you know what, it's unique and its me. We all entered the the back hallway and split into our dressing rooms. I just dropped my bag off and headed towards the main stage with Angie.
"Okay Lacy do your scales, Now! We're behind Schedule." She said bitchily. She acts fake around people but with me she is rude. I sang my low and high notes, and ended just in time as the boys walked in and sat in the front row seats to watch me.
"Okay Lacy, I want you to practice the high notes in Human. Or you know what let's just run through the whole song." I nodded. I'm still not allowed to speak unless it's to sing.
I get get in my starting spot for the song and grip my microphone tightly. Why am I so nervous to perform in front of them? Just get it done and over with. I nodded to the piano player and he started doing his thing, now I just need to do mine.
"I can hold my breath. I can bite my tounge. I can stay awake for days if that's what you want, be your number one. I can fake a smile, I can force a laugh. I can dance and play the part if that's what you ask, give you all I am. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it." I sang. I take a deep breath and get ready to sing high notes. Breathe Shayla. Breathe.
"But I'm only human, and I bleed when I fall down. I'm only human, and I crash and I break down. Your words in my head, knives in my heart, you build me up and then I fall apart, 'Cause I'm only human." I sang and then the music stopped.
"We don't need to hear all of it, it sounded good enough from just that part so let's move on. I smile at her and then the music for Blown Away started.
"Dry lightning cracked across the skies, those storm clouds gathered in her eyes. Her daddy was a mean old mister, mama was an angel in the ground, the weather man called for a twis-"
"STOP! Lacy how many times do I have to tell you. It needs emotion. I want you think about... Think about your father when your singing." She said hesitantly. I closed my eyes quickly hearing the word father echo in my head like it does in the movies. I instantly felt a pain in my heart. Betrayal. Sadness, or was that pure anger? I could feel my face growing red, so I reached down and drank some of my water, hoping to swallow the huge lump in my throat.
"Okay." I whisper quietly. She hit me hard.
"Let's try it again." She smiled sweetly at me. My father is a subject she rarely brings up but when she does bring him up she's always sweet to me. Like she understands what I'm going through. I can put emotion in this song. I can make every person in this room cry. That's what I'll do.
"Dry lightning cracks across the skies. Those storm clouds gathered in her eyes. Her daddy was a mean old mister, Mama is an angel in the ground, the weather man called for a twister she prayed to blow it down. There's not enough rain in Oklahoma, to wash the sins out of that house, there's not enough wind in Oklahoma, to rip the nail out of the past. Shatter every window till it's all blown away! Every brick, every board, every slamming door, blown away! Till there's nothing left standing, nothing left from yesterday. Every tear soaked whiskey memory blown away. Blown away!" I hit the last high note in the chorus. The music kept going but I couldn't. I was supposed to start the verse over a measure ago.
The man stopped playing and everyone looked at me with watery eyes. I looked to the lads to see even Harry and Liam looked as if they would cry. I ran off the stage and into my dressing room. I locked the door and cried. I've cried so much lately. I'm sick of it. Sick of people walking all over me, pushing me aside to get what they want. I'm done with it. I groan and walk over to my dressing room table and looked in the mirror. I saw myself and how different I look. I glared at myself in disgust. I suddenly got so angry I used my arm to push everything off the table top. Cans of hairspray and god knows what else, mirrors and glass shattered everywhere. And there they laid on the ground in peices. Just like me. I can help but feel that this is how my father wanted me to feel. Angry, upset, vulnerable, as if I could break at the touch of someone's Hand. But I won't. Not with my mom here and everyone around me. I can't let them take vantage of me.
I heard knocking on my dressing room door but I just ignored it. Instead I got changed and ready for tonight show, which started in less than two hours. The knocking finally stopped after a good ten minuites. I knew it was one of the boys because right after it stopped you could hear them practicing on the stage. I got dressed in the slightly revealing outfit but I guess it's in style so I don't really care. Someone started knocking on my door again but this time I had to let them in because it was my hairstylist and cosmetologist, she's friends with the boys. Her name is Lou. We have became great friend over the past hour or so while she fixed me up.
"All done Shayla." Yeah she knows. She's required to know, why One direction doesn't know, I can't answer that.
"We'll call time for you is in ten minuites so I'd use the bathroom and Angie told me to tell you to not talk to anyone and do your breathing exercise. She scares me so that's why I just told you." I laugh at Lou's words and walked towards the door. I went to the bathroom with five minuites to spare. I'm not nervous anymore. I know what I'm doing. I know I'll do good. I always do good. I'm just scared about what thay fan said even though Niall told me I was safe. I stood next to the director and waited for him to tell me to go on. I could hear lots of people screaming because they knew the shows about to start. I get the nod from the director. I slowly walk on the platform under the stage so I could pop out of the ground. I heard the crew counting down for my shoot up. Here I go.
"3...2...1... Let's rock this show Lacy!" I felt this rush of adrenaline as I shot up on the stage. Screaming erupted from the crowd as I started to sing my song "Sorry For Loving You"
Screams everywhere. My next song was Human. And let me tell you. The crowd LOVED it! Now I'm about to sing Blown Away.
"Now I'm gonna sing a song that has a strong meaning to me. It's about abuse. I just want all my fans to know that this is a serious subject and if you ever need to talk I'm here. I love you guys! I'd do anything for you all. This is another new song, this ones called Blown Aw-"
"Lacy! Take this you stupid whore!" Before I could make out what was happening something hard, and I mean hard, hit my forehead right above my right eye. I let out a scream before falling to the stage ground. After that everything was in slow motion. I reached up and touched my head, but flinched back. I looked at my hand to see nothing other then blood. I heard some yelling and then some loud footsteps, but most of all I heard this loud thumping noise inside my head. My vision was clouding slowly. Above me, I could make out Harry and Liam's frightened faces before my vision went black.
Notes
Hope you all like this chapter. I know it took forever for me to update. Can we possibly get this story up to 10 votes? Pretty please? I know we can do it. If you guys are lucky, I might post another chapter tonight or tomorrow. Please comment, rate and subscribe. But mostly get those votes in! It would mean a lot to Julia and I if you'd could!
Much love,
Xx-Erica
love this.. update soon
11/8/16