whiplash

I bite my lip as I watch him and I know in my belly what is going to happen tonight. I can feel the switch in power go to him. He’s taking control and I know that I will let him do whatever he wants. Seeing his back flex and move under his shirt while he shifts things around on the table has me wishing I could leave tiny red lines down his skin. His back is so broad and his shoulders so wide, my fingers are itching to touch him. My eyes move from his back to his arms and I notice how dark the hair on his forearms is and I subconsciously lick my lips. I’ve always had a thing for strong forearms and hands and that’s when my eyes focus on him as he holds the shot glass and passes it to me.

God, I never realized how big his hands were. Fuck.

I can feel every part of my body wanting to move closer to them. I want them on me. Like now. His fingers look so thick and the backs of his hands are so veiny. I feel my cheeks turn pink because those veins make me picture other things and I pray that Niall doesn’t notice. I shake my head and try to get rid of the image of him hovering over me because I do not need it right now. I take the shot from his hand and lick my lips, clearing my throat. “I’ll go first.” He raises his brows and then nods for me to continue. I give him a coy smile before I go on. “I’ve never kissed Harry Styles.”

The look Niall gives me makes me burst into laughter. “Oh come on!” He rolls his eyes as he
takes his shot. “That’s not fair. It was a fuckin’ dare.” He lets out a huff and shakes his head. “I’m never gonna live that down.”

I’m still laughing when I decide to take it a step further. “If you don’t watch out I’ll say all of their names and have you four shots deep.” I watch as his face and cheeks turn pink and I point. “HA! I knew it!”

Niall’s face turns even more crimson. “Hell, we did a lot of stupid shit back in the day. And anyway, it was only like two of them. And not on the lips.” I’m still laughing but trying to hold it in when he finally grins and starts laughing at himself. “Well, what can I say, we’re a close knit band.”

This is when I completely lose it. I am bent over holding my stomach, peals of laughter rolling from me. I manage to squeeze a few words out before I sit up. “Yeah…I’d say so..”

“Alright, alright, laugh it up, chuckles.” He says as I finally sit up and smile, my giggles dying down. “Okay, it’s my turn now.” He looks around the room for a moment like he’s trying to find some inspiration right there in my flat. Then he grins, pats the couch and says in a low thick accent that is shooting right to my lady parts, “I’ve never fooled around on this couch.” He leans forward and quirks up that eyebrow at me. “You know, shirt off, bra pulled low, pants half buttoned. That kind of fooling around.”

His words are hitting me straight in my core and I know that if he made a move on me right now I would be just exactly as he described. I look him straight in the eye, smirk slightly, and raise my glass to my lips, taking the shot down in one gulp. He takes my empty glass from me with that eyebrow still up. His fingers brush over my own, sending flashes of heat through me. Looking over the couch and then me as he pours, I know he’s studying me, trying to feel me out. “Right here, huh? Naughty girl…can’t say that I’m sorry to hear that though.” He hands me back my full glass. “It’s your turn now, sunshine.”

I’m racking my brain for just the right one to say and it hits me. “I’ve never given…” I hold one finger up and point to him. “… or received oral in a public place.” I pause for a moment and then I remember. “Oh shit! Wait! I totally have done that…” I clamp my hand over my mouth as I blush. “Oops!”

I look over at Niall and he’s grinning with a cocky look on his face. "Oh have you now?“

I tilt my head to the side. "I’m not as innocent as you think I am.”

“Well, you better think of another one before I make you take that shot as a penalty.”

I giggle and bite my lip before speaking. “Okay, I’ve never fooled around with someone I’ve only met twice.”

Niall scoffs, shakes his head, taking his shot.

I grin as I watch him and just as he swallows I continue. “Won’t be able to say that tomorrow though.”

His eyes grow dark as he looks at me. His pupils dilate and it’s like I can see the lust literally filling them. He licks his lips and moves closer to me. Our thighs lean against each other. I can feel the heat from his body rolling off of him. The smell of his cologne fills my senses, making my head fuzzy. His hand touches my thigh, his fingers push into it. His voice is low and rough. “I’ve never played a drinking game with someone where two questions in and I already wanted to to have them naked and beneath me. Squirming and writhing. Wanting me to touch them.” His fingers slowly creep up my leg and every part of me wants to make them move faster. “That is until tonight.”

My brain completely loses control and my body takes over. I set my full shot glass down and stand up directly in front of Niall. He looks up at me, his legs spread, thighs inviting me to sit down. He licks his lips and grins as I lower myself down onto him. Biting my lip, I sink my fingers into the hair at the back of his head, something I have been wanting to do all night. I lean down and ghost my lips over his, teasing him with my kiss. My hips move on their own accord, creating a rhythm with each sway back and forth. My breathing is already heavy and I haven’t even kissed him yet. I haven’t done anything really, but I’ve gotten myself all worked up. Niall’s hands clamp onto my hips and he pushes himself against me. I can feel him hard in his jeans, pressing outward, pushing into me and I feel my center start to fill with a familiar ache. I press myself down onto him and attach my lips to his. I’ve been wanting to kiss him all night. No, it’s been more than just all night. I wanted to kiss him again for the last two weeks. His lips are so soft and his mouth molds perfectly into my own. I open to him just slightly and his tongue slips in. It rolls past my lips and plays with my own. I can taste the tequila and beer and also this own little thing that is just his. I taste him. He’s like a drug and I only want more.

Our kisses grow more heated. The mixture of lust and alcohol draining us of any inhibitions. My mouth moves from his lips to his cheek and down to his jaw. I kiss along the edge as I feel his fingers push into my thighs more. I suck and nip at the skin just underneath and I hear Niall’s breath hitch. His voice is rough and his accent thick when he talks. “I think you’ve another shot to take, sunshine.”

I pause and sit up, smirking. “You’re right. I do.” I fan myself with my hand. “Does it feel warm in here. I feel warm.” And knowing exactly what I’m doing, I pull my cardigan off and I grin when I watch Niall’s eyes move straight to my chest, my bra showing through the sheer material. In our heated movements the deep v of the shirt has slipped lower and the tops of each lacy pink cup are shown. I reach back behind me, grabbing my full shot glass along with the salt. I motion for Niall to tilt his head to the side. “Would you mind?”

A grin covers his face as he gestures a hand at his exposed skin. “No, not at all.”

I lean down and slowly lick a stripe up his neck from his collarbone to his ear. I bite my lip and sprinkle salt on the wet line that I left. I smirk at him. “You ready?” He nods, his lip held between his teeth. I bend forward and slowly lick the salt that I left, leaving a kiss just below his ear before I sit back up. He raises his head and looks me in the eye as I take my shot down, opening my throat and swallowing it easily. “Your turn.” I grab the bottle and pour another just for him. His eyes gaze over me hungrily as I point to the top curve of my breast. I rub my finger over the spot. “Will this do?”

With a cocky grin, his large hands come up and grip me just above my waist. They practically wrap around me and I feel so small as he pulls me closer to him. I watch as he bends his head forward and his tongue darts out to lick up from the valley of my breast then up and over the curve. He leans his head back, grinning. I sprinkle the salt on my skin and he licks his lips. This time he licks and sucks at my flesh before raising his head and taking the shot from my hand. He tosses the it back and then the glass goes somewhere over his shoulder and I couldn’t care less where it lands.

The alcohol in my system is making me feel brave. Brave and a little like I want to strip my clothes off.

“How was it that you described fooling around again?” I cross my arms over my front and grab the hem of my shirt. “Shirt off?” I pull it pull it slowly over my head and toss it down. “Bra pulled low?” I glide my fingers over the cups of my bra and pull them lower and lower until each nipple is barely exposed. Niall’s eyes are glued to my every action and the look of hunger on his face is making me even wetter. “Pants unbuttoned?” I move my hands down to my waist and slowly start to pop each button open. The tiny bit of lace from my panties is showing and Niall is biting his lip. His hands are skimming over my skin like they don’t know just where to begin, where to touch first. “Is this what you meant?”

It’s only moments before I find myself flat on my back on the couch with Niall hovering over me. He doesn’t waste any time pulling his own shirt over his head with one hand and his lips find mine again. His tongue slips into my mouth. His kisses steal the air from my lungs and I feel like I’m drowning in his kiss. His hand cups my breast and his thumb rolls over my nipple, making it tighten under his attention. His lips leave mine and I watch him as he sits up on his knees. His eyes scan over my body as my chest rises and falls with each breath I take. One hand comes up and a finger traces the outline of my bra as he slowly pulls the cup down. He does the same thing on the other side and makes an appreciative noise in the back of his throat when his eyes take in my breasts.

“I’ve been waiting to see these perfect tits since that night at the pub.”

I feel my skin flush under his gaze. Niall bends his head down and his lips drift over my breasts. My breath hisses through my teeth when he clamps his lips around my nipple and I feel his teeth bite it softly. While his tongue makes quick work of my top half, his hands start on my pants and soon he’s tugging them down and off.

“Such a pretty body. I’ve thought about fucking you for days. Couldn’t get you out of mind.” He dips his fingers into the waistband of my tiny panties and slowly works them down over my hips. “I’ve wondered what you’ll like when I make you scream out my name. Wondered if you taste as sweet as you look.”

I lick my lips and roll my hips underneath him. The alcohol rushing through me is making me feel even more cheeky. I am unashamedly in need of a good fuck and Niall is the exact person I want it from. I wiggle beneath him and my eyes lock on his. I reach my hand down between my legs and I swipe two fingers up my slit. They come away shining with my own juices. I hold them up and smirk when I say, “Why don’t you see for yourself?” And then I do something that I would never do sober. I wipe the pad of my finger across Niall’s bottom lip, coating it in my arousal. His tongue darts out and swipes across it, but before he can say anything I stick my two fingers in my mouth and suck them clean. “I think it’s nice and sweet, don’t you?”
He nods and chuckles to himself. “Well, Harper, you are a surprise at every turn. A dirty little girl, aren’t you?” He moves off the couch and kneels in front of it. His big hands grab my hips and he turns me so that I’m facing him. “Such a tease. You should know better. I’m gonna need more of a taste than that little bit.” He pulls me down and props my legs over his shoulders. His hands grip my hips as I spread my legs wider and he dips his head down, licking up my center. His fingers dig into my flesh and he flicks his tongue over my tiny sensitive bundle of nerves.

Small little whines and moans fall from my mouth. I take in a sharp gasp of air when I feel him wrap his lips around that same spot and suck gently. My words come out in a shudder as I grip the cushion behind my head. “Oh fuck me…”

Niall chuckles against me and it sends shoots of electricity pulsing through me. His blonde hair messy, he looks up at me from between my legs and though I didn’t think it possible I get even wetter. He smiles a cocky smile. “That’s exactly my plan, sunshine. But first I’m gonna finish eating this pretty little pussy of yours.”

Niall’s tongue has moves that I didn’t even realize existed and it isn’t long before I am a moaning, writhing mess on my couch. When my orgasm hits me, I come hard and it rolls through me, wave after wave, feeling like it could never end. My hands are tangled in his hair and my hips are bucking forward. My back arches off the couch and I cry out.

When I finally come down Niall lifts his head and looks up at me, a confident smile on his face. He kisses my inner thigh and sits back on his legs. “Now you’ve really fooled around on your couch.” He looks me over with one eyebrow raised and even though my body feels like a puddle of warmth, I can feel that same ache start to build again. Niall stands up and holds out a hand to me. “Let’s go, Harper. I’ve got other plans for you.” I take his hand and he pulls me to my feet. I wobble slightly, unsure if it’s the tequila or the fact that I feel like I just came twelve times but Niall notices and grins. “Oh, that will never do.” He laughs and bends down, slinging me over his shoulder.

I’m laughing at the absurdity of what is happening. “Niall! I can walk, ya know?”

He laughs. “But this way I get to do this!” His hand comes up and smacks me right on the ass then I hear him growl and he bites my hip. I start to squeal and he tosses me onto my bed. “See much more fun.”

He crawls onto the bed between my legs. My hands rub over his chest, fingers digging into the hair there. His lips attack my neck and jaw. He sucks and nips at my skin and I know that tomorrow I will have tiny little purplish bruises documenting this night. His mouth moves down to my collar bone and his tongue traces over the indentations there. His fingers pick at my bra strap. Between kisses I hear him say, “Take this off. I want to see all of you.”

When he stands up, I quickly take my bra off and throw over his shoulder. With a grin he unzips his pants and pushes them down over his small hips. All that’s left between me and what I’ve been dreaming about for weeks is a little bit of black cotton. I scoot to the edge of the bed and hook my fingers into the waistband of his Calvin’s, pulling him towards me. I look up at his face, rolling my bottom lip between my teeth, pulling his boxers down so that his cock springs free. My first glimpse of it and my mouth waters. It’s just as pretty and perfect as I’d pictured it. I reach my hand out and run my finger over his pink swollen head and then down his thick shaft, tracing the prominent vein running his length.

I want to kiss it and lick it.

Fuck.

I want to put my mouth all over it.

Niall’s hand sinks into my hair, his fingers tangle themselves in it, his eyes still on me and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. I wrap my hand around the base, my lips around his head and slide him into my mouth. I suck gently, letting my tongue roll over his tip and around again before popping it out with a smacking sound. I lick up one side and down the other and then take him all the way into my mouth as deep as I can. When he taps the back of my throat, I try not to gag. “Fuck…Harper..you’re mouth feels incredible.” He thrusts his hips forward a few times but then pulls out unexpectedly. His voice is a deep growl filled with need. “As much as I’d enjoy fucking your mouth right now I would rather be inside you.”

I lay back on the bed and Niall’s hands push my knees apart as he climbs back between my legs and nestles himself there. I have been dreaming about this moment for the past week or so, waking up, my core aching, wishing that it wasn’t just a dream. Now that dream I’ve been having is a reality. And it’s better than anything I could have imagined in my lifetime.

My eyes move over his body, taking in every inch of his skin. The more I see, the more aroused I become, just the sight of him is making my center ache to be filled. I close my eyes, taking a deep breath as I do and then I feel Niall’s hand beneath my chin. His thumb brushes over my bottom lip, still red and swollen from our kisses. “Open your eyes Harper. Look at me. I want to watch you. I want to see exactly what I do to you.”

With one simple push he is inside me and I whimper at the feeling. He fills me so completely. My body wraps itself around him, my walls contracting, holding him inside me. With a groan, he lowers his head to my chest, resting there, his hard length still deep within me. "Jesus Christ, Harper, I’ve been dreaming of feeling you around me like this for two fuckin’ weeks.“ He raises himself from my chest and looks me in the eyes as he starts to move in me. "Been waking up in me bed, hard as a fuckin’ rock, because I’d been dreaming your body was beneath me.”

He pulls out slowly and then slams into me with so much force that I cry out. In and out, he thrusts into me. Just when I think he’s found his rhythm, he changes his speed and every nerve in my body screams at the feeling. He leans his head down next to my ear and his breath washes over my skin. My hands wrap around him and grip his back as he shifts his hips just slightly and I cry out again. His hips dip over and over, tapping against the soft, sensitive spot on my front wall. I whimper as the sensations bring me closer and closer to my high.

“I’ve been dreaming of hearing that sweet little voice of yours yell out. Are you going to cry out when I make you come, sunshine? Ya gonna yell my name as you soak my cock in your juices.” He looks down into my face. His own flushed, cheeks pink, the fringe on his forehead damp with sweat. I watch as he bites his lip and takes in my body, bouncing with each thrust. “You look fucking beautiful beneath me. I can’t wait to see that lovely face you make when you come again.”

Niall wraps a strong arm around my waist, lifting my hips slightly and changing the angle. Soon he’s hitting that fleshy spot inside me with every stroke and my breathing is coming faster, quickly turning to pants. Whines and moans leave my lips over and over again. I am teetering on the edge of my orgasm just waiting for the little push that I’m craving.
“Come on now, sunshine, I want to feel you pulse around me. Show me that pretty little face again.”

Without warning, I fall off the edge. It feels as if my body breaks into a million pieces and I come undone in his arms with a scream. “Oh God! Niall! Yes!”

He keeps pumping into me, his thrust getting sloppy the closer he gets to coming. My own body is clenching around him, throbbing with the last waves of my orgasm, when he groans out and slams into me, climaxing. A stream of muttered curses tumbles from his mouth as my walls milk the last of his orgasm from him. With a few last plunges into me, Niall pulls out and collapses beside me. Our chests are rising and falling almost in sync.

He pushes his sweaty hair off of his forehead with a chuckle and lets out a low whistle. “Fucking hell, Harper. I should not have waited two weeks for that. I should have taken you home that same fucking night.” He rolls over and wraps his arm around me, pulling me against his sweaty chest. His voice right next to my ear. “Should’ve taken you home with me and fucked you until you couldn’t walk.” His tongue darts out and licks the spot just below my ear and I shiver. His lips suck and nip at the same spot.

My own voice sounds softer than normal when I speak. “You’re gonna leave a mark, you know.”
I hear Niall’s laugh as well as feel it vibrate in his chest. “Oh, I know.” He says his lips still pressed to my neck. “For some reason this pretty pale skin of yours makes me want to mark you all up. I want to leave tiny little red bruises in all the right spots. I want to think about you touching them when you look in the mirror, want your mind to go right back to this night and make your body shiver and your pussy dampen.”

Even though I’ve already come twice tonight his words spark that same feeling of arousal in me and I feel the blood rush back. I squeeze my thighs closed in an effort to calm myself and hope that he doesn’t notice. But luckily, I guess, Niall is awash in a post sex stupor. He’s breathing softly next to me and has no clue that I could currently go for round three.

Instead, I lay with my head on his chest and listen as his heart slows down to a solid steady rhythm. I know if I lay here long enough that heartbeat will sing me to sleep like the world’s sweetest lullaby. But I’m not going to let myself relax enough to sleep just yet because I’m not entirely sure what is going to happen with the rest of tonight. This is the part of the night I’ve been dreading. The awkward excuses. The ‘oh, I’ll call you’. I fully expect him to say all of these things so I’ve decided not to worry about it. I won’t. But the words float through my mind anyway.

One night stand.

I mentally shake them away. If that’s what this is then so be it. Because who cares anyway? I just had a great fucking night. Now I’d like to turn my brain off for a bit and live happily in my current state of intoxication from tequila and sex. I absent-mindedly stroke my fingers over Niall’s chest, tracing over the soft indentations his lean muscles leave. His stomach muscles tense as my hand goes lower and the sound of his soft laughter rumbles through his chest into my ear.

“Tickles a bit…” His voice is so soft and relaxed and it takes all of my willpower not to tickle him again just to see what he’d do. Almost as if he senses where my thoughts are heading, he puts his hand over mine and stills it. “Not nice to tickle a man when he’s down for the count.”

I laugh and lean myself up on my elbow to look at him. “You’re not actually down, you know? Tired, maybe, but not down.” I sit up fully and look around for my shirt when I remember that I lost that particular piece of clothing in the other room. No matter. I stand up and walk over to my dresser and pull out a fresh shirt and a pair of panties. I catch Niall watching me as I slip them both on. I feel my skin grow hot under his gaze, flushing pink and he smirks. I clear my throat nervously. “Um..” I fiddle with my hair trying to decide what to say. “…that was fun. Tonight was fun.” I walk back over and sit down on the bed again.

Niall sits up and grabs his pants and boxers with a chuckle. “Fun is an understatement, sunshine.” He stands and slips them both on easily. He turns to me and leans forward, putting his hands on either side of me. His face is so close to mine I’m holding my breath, wondering what he’s about to do. Unexpectedly, his lips graze over my own before his mouth claims mine in a hard kiss. “I’m glad I gave in and called you.”

My breath whooshes from my lungs. I feel my heart start to race again. As much as I’d prefer for Niall not to have this effect on me, I’m afraid I’ve no choice in the matter. My body has decided that this man is perfect and it wants nothing more than for him to lay me back down on this bed and repeat everything that’s happened in the last several hours. The evidence of this is obvious in my flushed skin and quickening breath.

Dammit. I am a traitor to myself.

Niall’s eyes glance down at my chest, where I can only assume my heart appears to be attempting an escape for like the fourth time tonight. The corner of his mouth lifts as he grins and leans in once more. He kisses me. His tongue swipes across my lips and I open, welcoming him inside. This kiss feels different from the last several. This one is soft, affectionate. He takes his time and its like he is memorizing me, tucking this kiss away and saving it for later. I’m so overwhelmed my brain can only focus on one piece of him at a time. The way he tastes faintly of tequila, salt and me. The way his lips feel like velvet against my own. How his kiss feels urgent and unhurried at the same time. The way his tongue rolls and sweeps over my own in a dance that only we know the steps to. And when he pulls away, he takes my breath with him. He pecks me once more sweetly with a gentle smile on his face and then its like he freezes. I can see the change in his body language from laid back to stiff and it confuses me a little.

What just happened?

He stands upright and runs a hand through his hair. “Guess I should find my shirt and get going.” He glances around the room, but avoids making any sort of eye connect with me. “I’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

My mind is flooded with sudden understanding. So this is how it’s going to go.

Right.

Got it.

I nod and stand, gesturing out of my room. “I think you lost that in the living room.” I lead the way out the door and over to the couch. I bend over and pick his shirt up from the floor handing it to him. I get a simple 'Thanks’ as he pulls it over his head. Before he even asks I grab his coat from the closet and he shrugs into it. I open the front door even though I’m only in a shirt and panties, and I lean against the door frame. For all of his awkward stiffness I am determined to be nonchalant about this. “Thanks for coming over tonight. I hope you had fun.”

A smirk breaks out over his face and suddenly the Niall that kissed me in my bedroom is back. “Sunshine, it was a fantastic fucking night.” He glances down the hallway before turning back to me. “I really am glad I called.” He leans in and brushes his lips against mine one last time. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

I nod and he winks before heading down the hallway towards the elevator. Instead of watching him any longer, looking like a lost puppy, I close the door and lean back on it. My head falls onto the wood with a quiet thud. My apartment feels empty without Niall’s big personality filling the space. My eyes look over the mess that we created and I sigh. I push myself off the door, walking towards the empty bottles sitting on my coffee table. I halfheartedly start to clean up, but give up after only a minute. I don’t want to do this right now. At all. I set all the bottles back down with a clink and rattle.

“I’ll do this tomorrow.”

I go back to my bedroom and crawl into my bed. With all the lights off, I stare up at the shadows dancing across my ceiling just waiting for my mind and body to settle themselves enough to sleep. It doesn’t take long for my mind to drift away because the next thing I know I’m being jolted awake by my phone vibrating somewhere near my head. I lazily open my eyes as my hand searches the pillows and blankets for the offending noise maker. Part of me is hoping that it’s Niall, the side that is too rosy for its own good. The sane and logical half of me is trying to explain what exactly a one night stand is to the hopeful side but failing miserably. When my fingers finally wrap around my phone I pull it out and look at the screen. My mood drops a miniscule amount when I see Lily’s name and face, but I put it firmly in check and answer. My voice is raspy and full of sleep. “Hello?”

“Hi! Oh my goodness, I couldn’t wait to call you!” She is all excitement, but then her voice falls to a whisper. “Oh god! Did I wake you up? Is he still there? Ah! I’m so sorry!”

I lay my head back on my pillows and push my hair out of my face, chuckling at her. “Lily, you’re fine. You don’t have to whisper. He’s not here and even if he was, he wouldn’t have been able to hear you anyway.” She pauses for such a long moment that for a second I think I’ve lost her. “Hello?”

“He’s not there?” Her voice finally asks and the disappoint in it is evident. “When did he leave?”

“Last night, why?”

She’s quiet again. I do not like all this quiet business. "Did you guys have sex?“

I can’t help but wonder where exactly this line of questioning is going to lead and I breath out exasperatedly. "Yes, but why do you sound so dubious about the whole thing?”

She huffs. “I’m not dubious. I’m annoyed. Did he just screw you and leave? Like wham, bam, thank you, ma'am?”

I laugh a little at her statement. “Lily, it wasn’t exactly like that.”

“Harper,” She sighs, her voice sounding angry and perturbed. “You know you’re worth more than one night, right?”

I chuckle to myself. “It’s okay, mama bear, I know I am. I honestly wasn’t expecting anything more than a one night thing. Look at him and look at me. It’s not like we are a match made in heaven. One night is good. It’s fine. I’m happy with it.” She huffs like she doesn’t believe me.

“Lily, I swear I’m not bothered by this at all.”

“You aren’t? Not at all? Are you sure?”

“I promise I’m not. You don’t have to go give any pop stars black eyes to save my reputation. Scouts honor. But if you keep talking like that I’m gonna start to think I should be bothered.” I get up from my bed and walk over to the mirror to check out the damage. I hold in the groan as I take in the messy hair and dark circles under my eyes. I try for a subject change. “Let’s please talk about something else. What did you do last night?”

Lily actually bursts out laughing at this. “What? Are you kidding? You must be joking. Nothing that I did last night can come anywhere close to your night. If you really think I’m letting you change the subject you’ve lost your mind and clearly don’t remember who you are talking to. There is no way in hell that I am not getting the full story of last night!”

I should’ve just guessed she wouldn’t be so easily detoured. "Fine. Then why don’t you just come over and I’ll spill all the dirty details.“

"Ha! I’m already way ahead of you! The moment you said he wasn’t there I started heading for your place. I’ll be there in like 5.”

And with that, she hangs up. I pull on a pair of baggy sweatpants and pad out to the living room. I put my hand to my head. “Oh God.” I need water, pain meds, and caffeine. Asap. I start towards the kitchen, but before I’m even halfway there the door buzzes. I don’t even check to see who it is, I just open it. “Damn, you’re fast.”

Lily stands there looking like a small child on Christmas morning, but then her face falls when she actually takes in my appearance. “You look like shit. I was expecting some sort of post orgasm glow, but all I’m getting is a hint of too much to drink.”

My mouth becomes a hard line of annoyance. “Thank you. That’s so nice of you.”

She just laughs and holds her hands up. “Hey, I just call 'em like I see 'em.” Then she looks seriously at me for a moment like she’s just thought of something. “Wait! Was he not any good?” Her mouth drops open and she covers it with a hand. “He couldn’t get you off, could he?”“

I put my hands over my face. "Jesus, Lily, I literally just woke up! Can we please not discuss my sex life in the freaking hallway? At least come inside and give me a chance to wake up.”

“Okay! Okay!” She pushes past me straight into my apartment, sets her bag down and really looks me over. “Seriously though. What is the deal? Why do you look like hell?” I shut the door as she makes her way over to the couch and holds up the almost empty bottle of tequila. “Did you actually drink all of this? No wonder you look like death warmed over. You’re really rocking that hangover chic look.”

I snort sarcastically. “You’re such a sweet friend. Have I ever told you that?”

She plops down on my couch, waving her hand dismissively. “Oh, I already know this. Now spill!”

I roll my eyes and grab some of the empties, making my way to the kitchen. “It’s too early for this! Damn you for being so peppy in the mornings!” I toss the bottles into the trash and start the water to boil for tea. “And damn you for being so nosy.”

Lily laughs long and hard at this. “I take both of those as compliments. Now, quit cleaning and get your ass over here and sit with me. I know that you are secretly dying to tell someone what went down. And we both know I’m the only one that is gonna get to hear all of it. Come on, How long are you gonna make me wait? How did it happen, did you get him drunk and then take advantage of him? Was he any good? Was he terrible? Why did he leave? Is he going to call?”

I peek around the corner and glare at her. “Geez! Can I make some tea without having to deal with the Spanish Inquisition?”

She gestures for me to continue with a smile on her face. “By all means and make me some too!”

I join her on the couch again, handing her her mug a few minutes later. “Okay, so your answers, in order. Not any longer. Not on purpose. Yes, very. No, not at all. I have no idea. Still no idea.” I burst out laughing at Lily’s scowl and I sip my tea daintily. “Not what you wanted?”

“You are infuriatingly obtuse sometimes, you know that? You are driving me crazy. Just give me a play by play from the beginning.” She pauses. “If you can even remember that much of the night.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh my god, I wasn’t that drunk!” I take a deep breath and think back to the night before and the moment Niall got to my place. “Well, let’s see, he came right after you left. I’m actually surprised you didn’t run into him. So after I answered the door, I made a joke about his love of hallways and he called me a smart ass. It was a good start to the night, I’d say.”

Lily interrupts me, waving her hands for me to hurry up. “Yeah, yeah, you’re hilarious. Get to the good stuff! When did you start plying him with drinks?”

I lean back on the couch and my face turns faintly pink when I think about what exactly happened on this couch last night. I’m praying that Lily doesn’t notice. “Umm, I offered him a beer when he got here because I was sounding like a lunatic again and I thought that more alcohol would help. Or at least make me not care how I sounded.”

With a scoff, Lily picks up the tequila bottle again. “That obviously turned out beautifully.” I give her a glare and she sets it back down. “I’m sorry, please, continue.”

“Thank you. The tequila came out after a suggestion for something stronger. Then we talked for a while. It was nice. He’s funny. Like really funny! And…” I fall back dramatically on the couch. “…he’s so freaking hot. Like you have no idea. He’s so cute! I’m not even kidding when I say that I wanted to jump his bones the moment he walked through the damn door.”

She gives me a sage look. “Never underestimate the feelings a cute, funny, multimillionaire can give you. Did you jump him right then?”

I snort. “No, but I did suggest we play never have I ever. It went smashingly well.”

Lily holds her hand up to stop me. “Did you say that you suggested the two of you play a college drinking game that almost always leads to sex?” She closes her eyes in appreciation. “You are amazing.”

I grin. “Thanks, sometimes I know what I’m doing! Oh god! I almost forgot to tell the most embarrassing thing that happened!”

“Oh, this has to be good. Your face is so red right now.”

I smack her lightly. “Shut up. Okay, so I went to grab some more beers and while I’m in the kitchen Kiss You starts to play. Like Zayn’s voice is literally blaring through my apartment while one fifth of the freaking band is sitting on my friggin couch. I thought I was going to die on the spot and the whole time Niall was laughing his head off.” Lily is doing the exact same thing at this moment. “Yeah, he looked a lot like that. Thank you for the demonstration.” I huff as she keeps laughing and I smack her arm. “Well, I told him to stop laughing at me and told him I hated him. To which he responded by pulling me onto his lap and telling me that no I in fact I liked him. That’s when he suggested that we make it more interesting.”

Lily raises her eyebrows. “Oh!”

“Yeah, oh is right!” I lay my head back. “His first one was something about having never fooled around on my couch, but you should have heard him describe it! It was so hot!” I sit up quickly. “ He was like, 'top off, bra pulled low, pants unbuttoned. That kinda fooling around.’ Oh! It was like Bender’s quote from The Breakfast Club. You know that one?”

“Oh god, Judd Nelson was so hot in the movie!”

I put on my best imitation of Bender and start to quote the movie. “Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvins in a ball on the front seat, past eleven on a school-night? Gah! So hot! Then he called me a naughty girl.” I have Lily’s rapt attention now. “So there were a couple more before he finally said that he’d never played a drinking game…let me see if I can remember his exact words.” I think for a moment before the words finally float back to me and make me shiver. “Oh god, okay, he said, 'I’ve never played a drinking game with someone where two questions in and I already wanted them naked and beneath me.” I lean my head back and sigh. “I died.”
Lily has her mouth practically hanging open. “Wow.”

“I know.”

“There’s nothing like a guy that knows how to dirty talk. It sounds like he charmed the pants right off of you.” She sigh in reminiscence. "I miss those early seductions. So so much. I think I’m a little jealous actually. Maybe he’d give Ryan some lessons?“

I start to laugh. "Yeah, well, if I ever see him again I’ll ask. How’s that sound?”

In that moment I feel a slight twinge of regret when I think that I really might not see Niall again. Maybe I’m not as okay with the whole one night only thing as I thought.

“Okay, so I know you said very good earlier, but like, how good are we talking?” Lily looks at me expectantly. “Like several times good?”

I bite my bottom and roll it between my teeth. “Um, yeah, several times good is a good way to describe it. Like amazingly good.”

She sits forward. “What happened after? He left, but was it right after?”

I lean back on the cushions and sigh. “It wasn’t right after but it was a little weird. Well, it wasn’t weird at first. It was fine for a little while, but then it was like he changed his mind about something.” Lily is looking at me like I’m speaking Sanscrit so I sigh and try to explain better. “Okay, so, we were laying there and everything was all fine and dandy. Then I get up and put some clothes on after a little bit and I catch him watching me and I, of course, blush. So, because I’m the queen of awkward, I say something about how the night was fun.” Lily rolls her eyes at this. “I know, I know, so he starts to get dressed and he leans over me where I’m sitting on the bed and kisses me again. And I swear to you it was like his kisses got better throughout the night. So after that he says he was glad he gave in and called me. And then h…”

Lily interrupts me again. “Wait. He said he gave in?”

I furrow my brows at her. “Yeah, is that bad? It didn’t sound bad at that moment.”

She shakes her head. “It’s not necessarily bad. I don’t know. I’ll reserve judgement until later. Finish your story.”

“Okay, so I’m sitting there and I feel like my whole body is betraying me. My heart is pounding. My skin is all flushed and I know he can see it all because he smirks at me and then kisses me again. Except this kiss is totally different. It’s slow and sorta sweet. He’s lingering over my mouth and tracing it with each sweep of his tongue. He literally stole the breath from my lungs when he pulled away. And that’s when it got weird. He got all stiff and frigid right afterwards. It was like something clicked inside his brain. He went from being all sweet to being totally cold. I tried to ignore it. I let him be awkward because I was determined to stay nonchalant about the whole thing. So I walked him out and to the door. I told him thank you for coming over and I said I hope you had fun. I’m not even lying. I actually said I hope you had fun.” I cover my face with my hand and shake my head laughing. “The crazy part is that after I said that it was like he clicked back to the other Niall. He told me he was really glad he called! He even kissed me again! I honestly don’t know what to make of the guy.” I sigh. "I think that’s why it’s just easier to believe that all this was was a one night deal.“

Lily sits quietly for a moment or two before she says anything. "And you’re sure you’re okay with that?”

I shrug. “I kinda have to be, don’t I? I don’t really have much of a choice in the matter.”

Normally Lily is the type of friend to really push things, but today I’m lucky. She must sense a little bit of my weariness of the topic because she changes subjects completely. “We should watch The Breakfast Club. You quoting Judd Nelson got me in the mood.” I can only smile because I’m glad that this girl is my friend. She always takes care of me.

She spends the rest of the afternoon with me. I think she is hoping to keep my mind from over thinking things because she knows that’s what I like to do. So instead of talking we veg out on the couch and end up having a John Hughes movie marathon. We order pizza and I drink a ton of water to combat the hangover. Once the credits start to roll for the fourth movie Lily sits up and stretches. She glances out the window at the quickly darkening sky. “I love spending all day watching movies. And you can’t complain when you get to look at Jake Ryan.” She pretends to swoon. “I mean, geez, I think he was my first love.”

“Seriously! He really is so cute! I wonder what he looks like now? Probably still really hot.” She stands up and I follow her over to the door. “Thank you for hanging out with me today! It was a lovely unexpected girls day.”

“Anytime!” She wraps her arms around me and hugs me close. Her voice whispers in my ear. “You’re my favorite.”

My face crinkles up with a little smile. “And you’re mine.”

She takes one last appraising look at me and she must have decided I was fine because she nods and heads down the hallway towards the elevator. As I shut the door behind her I have to wonder why she is so worried about me. I mean, sure I’m not normally the type to have a fling with someone, but that doesn’t mean I can’t, does it? It’s completely okay that that’s all it was.

“I’m totally fine with it.” I sigh to myself. “Totally fine.”

I decide that I should pick up my place because it looks like a wreck and it doesn’t take me nearly as long I’d I thought it would. It’s not even late by the time I finish. The busy work kept me from thinking too much which was nice. And even though it’s still early by my normal standards I decide to go to bed anyway. Sleep will help me feel better. I put my hand over my belly. This feeling in the pit of my stomach has to be from the hangover still, right? I shake my head and force myself to ignore the niggling feeling that all is not right with that assessment.

I will not allow myself to have feelings for Niall.

No.

That’s a bad idea. A really terrible idea.

I take a long hot shower, letting the hot water wash away all my thoughts on the subject. If only that could actually happen. If only hot water could wash away feelings as easy as it can dirt.

I climb into my bed with my wet hair piled on top of my hair in a messy bun and I close my eyes. I am perfectly fine with the fact that Niall didn’t call or text today. I mean, didn’t expect him to anyway. I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling.

“Then why do I feel so shitty?”

I blow out a long breath and roll over, pulling the covers up to my chin. That’s when it hits me. The smell. Niall’s smell. The knot in my stomach unfurls like a flower to the fucking sun. That one little smell and my whole body feels fuzzy. I actually feel my heart beat faster. All from a freaking smell. I shove my head into my pillow and try to ignore the scent of him wafting around me like a fragrant ghost. I was right last night, my body is a fucking traitor to the rest of me.

Everything in me is wishing for him to be here. All of me wants his touch, his taste, the sound of his voice.

And to my complete and utter dismay, a small bubble of hope starts to grow inside me.

I shake my head in the darkness. “Turns out I’m not as okay as I thought I was.”

Notes