The Letters

"Mel. What's number four?" The teacher sighs apparently for the third time. I had only heard the last time. "sMELl" I hear some snickers behind me. I know that voice... it's Harry. Everyone laughs including the teacher. I smell my blouse and look around. What? I don't stink. I took a shower this morning. "D." I mumble and look down at my paper. Why did he have to choose me to pick on??

This has been going on for six weeks now. Why? I'm fat, ugly, whore, weird, and many more and I haven't talked a lot truth be told. I haven't made any friends, only Jackie. The guy I saw turns out to be the mean guy. Him and Priscilla, his girl, have been making me dread school. I don't do a lot of work. Nor do I let my mother know. I try to not be noticed and I let my mother know a ton of lies. I tell her "Harry" is very sweet, and that we're best of friends. All ßull$π*t. I hate this school and the people in it. She dose not see me falling apart or that it breaks my heart. She only sees what she thinks she been to me, not what I really need. A mother.



Two and a half months later..



"Hey mom!" I cheerfully try to say. To my mother it is beliavle. Things have been getting way worst. She sighs and turns around. She's wearing a dress and heals. My sister wears a yellow shirt and jeans. I wear some jeans and a t-shirt. Just getting of the yellow hell, the bus. I put on my hodie and ask "What's new?"


"Monique and I are going to the club. You should invite some friends over or something. Maybe Harry and Priscilla or even Jackie. Who knows who you want to invite." My mother tries to be the cool parent and I nod eagerdly.. It's fake though. I take my phone out and text jack. My only actual friend. We met in science. In the back of class.

-Hey my mom left wanna hang out? I type and she texts back after a minute.

-I new the Lord would not let me babysit the whole weekend. Lol. Be there in ten. I giggle.

-okeyy :). I send back and sit in the couch.

I need to make a big party mess and cleane up. Yes, I fake party's to make my mother happy. It's this hard to keep up all of this every weekend.

If I were skiny and pretty I could have any guy as my boyfriend and I would be popular, "You shouldn't have the right to come to this school for being so fat. Maybe their is and extra large school for you. Hahaha!" Pricillas voice reapeats in my head and I place the straightner in my stomach and Brun myself twice. Not deep or bad just enough to feel the burn.


I hear my mom come in my room and I pretend to do my hair. Placing the straightner in the table I add makeup on to cover the burns in the sides of my neck.


"What's up mother?" I day cheerfully. I don't know how she dose not see me with baggy eyes and burns in my neck it's obvious, but i'm thankful she dose not see.

"I'm so happy you've made a lot of friend's and that you're happy." She says. Here we go. She by the way means made up friends. "Don't ever change. You're perfect." she looks at my and I almost want to believe her, but this isn't the real me. This is not her. My mother is trapped inside her.


I'm not popular nor am I everything I have told her. I hate this. I nod and plaster a smile on my face and whatch her walk out the door. Jackie comes in after a while and we talk about random stuff. Stuff I honestly don't remember. I take a water to my room and hand Jackie a bag of chips.


"My mom will be here soon." I say. It's not true but I need at leaset an hour to make this look real. She nods and gets up. "I have to go anyway, Marko will be angry." Marko is her mother's husband. She moved in a few houses away from where I live a few days ago. He is absolute and a strict man.

"Best of luck." I say and follow her out the door. I start the mess. I clean up fast and change my clothing. I lay on the couch and pretend to be sleepy. I hear a knock on the door and my mother comes in without Monique and drunk with a man. What's this? he has been coming here a lot recently. Anger boils through me, but I smile. She has lost all sled respect with this drinking.

"Who's this mom?" I ask slowly. She roles her eyes.

"I've already dedicated twenty years to maintaning three kids and a guy who is your father. I don't need to give you- She points her finger at me sharply- explanations of MY life!" She exclames. My eyes water and hold it in. He smirks at me and I want to slap him.

The guy starts to get all over my mother and I gag. I walk to my room and lock the door. I hear what they are doing the rest of the night. Whitch is gross. I wonder where Monique left to. Where are my headphones? I think. I remember they're in my bag I pop them in and take the blade from under my pillow and scream silently letting the song take me away....


"I love you Mother." I whisper as I hear her screams. I don't know if he is hitting her or if they are having intercourse. This is uncomfortable. After a few hours I don't hear a thing.

(Father) The bright screan iluminates my room. Sitting up I start to panic. What dose her want? I answer and he booms through the phone.

"Aridne?!" he almost screams.


"H-hey." I stuttuder nervous.


"Where is your mother?" I panic.

"She's asleep." I try to say.

"Good for nothing little wretch. You have to watch her. You shouldn't let her be with guy"s. Stupid. I know she was with a guy." he terorizes me.

" I was asleep the whole after noon." I say nervous.

"Shut the fuck up!" he screamingly spats. I cry remembering when we used to live with him.

"I feel sad baby, why did you guys leave your father alone lo my like RAT!" he says from small to angry and manipulative in one sentence.

"I have to go to the restroom." I mumble out and hang up. Why did I even think i'd have his support?? I know he only calls to know about my mother....

Notes

So this is my second paragraph let me know what you think. I don't know if I have my errors if I do please excuse them I am trying my best. Also to write this is hard for me since no one knows this about my self. Only I do...