What about Pakistani butterflies?
Chapter 15
Valerie’s POV
My beloved friend Will left today. I hate goodbyes. I really really don’t like them. I never know what to say. Anyway what I hate the most is not the very moment when you say goodbye, but the emptiness that’s left afterwards.
It’s always sad when we have to say goodbye to Will. Since I moved to LA, I’m literally thousands of miles away from home, like real home. Of course I have my new house here in LA where I live with Sandy and of course it feels like home when I’m here but secretly, I still think of Spain as home. Not before though. Before, and I mean when I was with Douglas, home was London but now that none of that stills there, home is just home. Whenever Will comes, he sort of brings a piece of home back to me and hence whenever he is gone, he takes that piece back with him once again. That is sad. He always takes a bit of home back when he gets in his plane and leaves coldness as his back gets further away.
It’s always sad when we have to say goodbye to Will but it’s even sadder when you find your exfiancé at the airport. That's why I really need a drink and I also need Eleanor who is the only one who knows a bit about Douglas, I mean apart from Sands. The thing is Sandra is also Douglas' friend and, let's face it, I have talked to that blonde friend of mine about Douglas more than two thousands times already and I know her too well. Let's say I already know what she is going to say. I’m craving to get to Louis’ where all of my friends are hanging out now while I remember the day Eleanor and I talked about Doug.
*Flashback*
I’m driving to Eleanor’s house after both Louis and Eleanor called me. They have gotten into a fight so I called Harry to ask him to entertain Louis while I go to check on El. I am so flattered that Louis calls me between all of his friends but I know that here in Los Angeles, Eleanor doesn’t know that many people and I’ve grown to love that little model from England so I want to take care of her.
I get to her house with the new pair of trainers and the sport outfit I got for her at the mall wearing sports clothes myself. As I get into her house I hug her tight and she sobs in our hug. I let her cry for a while until she pulls out from our hug.
-I’m sorry, Val. I didn’t know who else to call. Thanks for coming.
-Don’t be; I’m glad you call me. These are for you.
I give her the bag with all her new sport outfit and she looks at me confused.
-Thank you. – She says in between sobs and bits of laughter.
We sit down in her couch and she tells me what has happened between Louis and her. Apparently they got into a fight because poor Eleanor said to dickhead Louis that she had to leave to England because she was hired at Pepe Jeans London as the model for the new campaign. She was so excited and Louis got mad at her because she was leaving.
-I thought he would be a supportive boyfriend and that he would be happy for me but he is so selfish that he gets mad because I’m leaving? What the hell, Valerie? He leaves all the time. I mean he left me in London when he came to Los Angeles, didn’t he? And I supported him. Is too much to ask for a boyfriend that supports me back? – El cries.
I hug her tight and caress her hair.
-He said that falling in love with me is the worst thing that has ever happened to him, Val. – She cries louder. What the fuck, Louis? You fucked up my friend.
-Jesus, he didn’t mean that, El. - I try to think about something not too stupid to say. - He is just so in love with you it drives him crazy. Look, I know I haven’t known him for that long but we know each other pretty well and I know he loves you with everything he has. He was just saying that because he felt hurt and wanted to hurt you back.
Eleanor looks at the ice cream and I laugh slightly, earning a teary smile from her. I open the ice cream and put it in front of her and she takes a spoon full of chocolate.
-He is a dickhead; we all know that. – She laughs slightly and nods in agreement. – But I can tell he really loves you. You know I get to travel a lot too and sometimes it’s just difficult for us to deal with it. I know from your side you kind of feel like he is the one who leaves to have fun and you stay home but it’s also hard for the one who is leaving. Sometimes you just want to be at home and you have to stay wherever you are at that moment and sometimes you get homesick and it sucks. For Louis, having you with him is such a gift and he obviously doesn’t want you to go but he has to understand. You can’t leave that opportunity pass by. Congratulations, by the way. – I smile for her and she smiles back, now calmer. – You just need to talk to him when you guys are both calmer and you’ll see you guys will figure things out. Louis wouldn’t survive if he lost you. Just give him some time and confidence; he will understand.
This time Eleanor pulls me in for a hug and caresses my back appreciatively.
-You’re such a friend. I understand why Louis says he is so lucky he found you.
-I try to be a good friend to who are good friends to me; quite simply. – I smile at her. – Now get change in the outfit I got you because we are running at the beach and then some yoga will do. You’ll feel new.
-Thank you. – She says before changing in her sports clothes.
We do some jogging and then some yoga in the beach and when we are done she asks me to stay with her to get her distracted. She asks me about my life and I feel comfortable enough to tell her about Douglas. I mostly tell her good memories of our relationship but then I tell her that he cheated on me. I try to avoid that it was when we were apart because I’m aware that she and Louis will be apart for a while now, but she knows the important thing. Now she is the only one of my new friends who knows anything about Douglas and that makes me realize that I’m going to miss her too.
*End of the flashback*
I decide I’ll text El to check if she is at Louis’ and in case she is not, I’ll ask her to come over.
From Eleanor Calder: I’m here. Is everything OK?
To Eleanor Calder: No worries. Just need a girl talk.
She texts me smiley faces and kisses back as sweet as she is and as soon as I get into Louis’ I go directly towards El after greeting Louis who has opened the door for me with a hug and the rest of the people there with a general hello. Sitting on the couch there are Niall, Liam, Lou, Sophia, Harry and a brunette (apparently Niall’s “friend”). I avoid any eye contact with Harry. After seeing Douglas at the airport I don’t even know if I want to see Hazz at all. I don’t love Douglas anymore but I did love him as crazy. He cheated on me but I can’t help wondering what would have happened if he hadn’t. Maybe I’ll be married now.
El and I go to the kitchen with the excuse that “I’m starving and El is preparing some meal for me” and we sit down in the breakfast table. I tell her about my encounter with my ex fiancé at the airport.
I was hugging Will goodbye doing my mommy’s roll asking him to be careful and to take care. When Will was gone, I saw someone staring at me from the coffee shop. My heart stopped beating for a second when I recognized Douglas, wearing the gray beanie he used to wear in our winter mornings and his black woollen sweater that I have worn so many nights to fall asleep. He looked at me sternly and gave me a head lift. I gave him another one and made my way out of the airport, my mind travelling to a past time.
-I have moved on, I really have... but so many memories came through my head when I saw him and...You know, I haven’t felt anything for him because I don’t love him anymore but I just thought of what I lost and I can’t help feeling some sort of failure now.
-What are you talking about? – Eleanor asks me concerned.
-Well, El, my life was so settled down. I was getting married and I was so truly convinced that he was the one and that I was having kids and living a happy life with him. And right now I’m just back and forth, hooking up with dudes every now and then and just having fun. Everything has gone loosen up now and I can’t help but to feel that as a failure.
-Hey, Valerie, you are twenty years old for god’s sake. The normal thing is what you have right now. He was not the one and if there is someone who is a failure here is him. I mean he is not going to find a girl like you ever in his life but you, come on! You are Valerie Veneel! If you threw yourself on a railroad, I’m sure every man waiting at the station would jump to catch you.
I laugh at that and she laughs with me. She then places her hand over mine.
-I understand how you feel but just give yourself a bit of time. We always tend to think that the past is better than the present just because we no longer have it and we are that much of idiots but you can make a great future. I’m sure you’ll do it and that Douglas, I mean fuck him.
I laugh at sweet Eleanor cursing and I hug her thanking her for being that lovely with me. We then come back to the living room and I take a seat on the couch next to Lou and keep thinking about Eleanor’s words.
She is so damn right. I have to enjoy what I have right now, leaving the past behind. With this thought I glare at Harry who is serious and has his eyes fixated on me. “You alright?” he gesticulates with his lips and I nod but I know he doesn’t buy it when he nods back at me somewhat annoyed.
When everyone gets hungry and Liam says he would go and bring some pizza, Harry takes advantage of the messy mood and gets closer to me.
-Can I talk to you? – He asks.
-Sure. What is it?
-Let’s go to my room, shall we?
We head upstairs and most of our friends seem to notice but none of them says anything. I guess they can also feel how tense the mood is. When we walk into Harry’s tidy room he closes the door behind him.
-Are you okay? – He asks me concerned.
-I am; I have already told you so. – I smile trying to enlighten the mood.
-Okay but you know I didn’t buy that one. What’s wrong?
-There’s nothing wrong, really. I’m just a bit tired.
-Why would you talk to Eleanor and not to me?
-She is a girl, Harry and I’m a girl too. Sometimes I need a bit of a girl talk. Anyway, I can talk to whoever I feel like talking. You don’t necessarily have to be my first choice.
-Sweet, Valerie. – He says annoyed and sits on his bed.
I look at him and see he really is bothered because I didn’t tell him first? What a kid. Then I realize this sort of reaction might be expected from a boyfriend, not from a sex buddy. That’s what I didn’t want happening.
-Harry, this is what I don’t want. I don’t need to have to give explanations to some dude and I don’t want you taking care of me. I can take care of myself and I know who I feel up to talk to. You and I have fun, we don’t talk about shit.
I sit on his lap but he doesn’t even touch me and he doesn’t look at me. I grab his chin and force him to look at me.
-Hey, don’t make it that big of a deal. You don’t have to care.
-You don’t get it, Valerie. I don’t care because “I have to care”; I care about what’s wrong with you because I care about you. I mean as a friend but I do. Wouldn’t you care about me if I were upset? Wouldn’t you care about Louis?
Alright, he has got a point.
-Fine, you are right but I told you it’s nothing and you can’t get offended I’m not giving you an explanation. I appreciate you caring about me but don’t press me for justifications or special treat. I just felt like talking about it with someone else. It’s not that big of a deal.
I stare at him for a minute while he looks at the floor sternly. I dare to kiss him on the cheek and his frown relaxes a bit. As it has worked, I kiss him on the cheek again and again until he has to smirk. Then he gives in, placing his arms around my body.
-I’m sorry. – He says and sighs.
-You don’t have to be sorry either. – I say to him and kiss his lips.
We kiss long but it’s a sweet kiss this time and for some reason I like it. I know any other day I would have tried to turn our tender kiss into a passionate one to not get emotional but tonight I need a bit of affection and I know he is willing to give it to me.
Harry’s POV
I wish none of the lads nor the girls were here now. Don’t get me wrong, I love having my friends around as much as possible but I know Valerie is upset for some reason and I want to cuddle with her and pamper her until she feels fine again.
For some reason I got mad when Val talked to Eleanor and not to me. I would have appreciated that she looks for me when she is upset because I know I would look for her if I were upset myself. She just makes me happy and when we are alone it’s like there is no one else in the planet, therefore there are no problems nor worries. She is everything I see right now and she is sitting next to El, who has grown to be a great friend of hers and it makes me jealous sometimes.
I want to know everything about Valerie and I want to be that guy people would look for when they want to know something about her because they know I would know that too. But since we decided to be friends with benefits, I see how she has distanced her emotional self from me so that I don’t get attached to her. What she doesn’t know if that I’m already attached to her but I will manage. That’s my problem and I’ll take care of it.
Her friend Sandra arrives and apparently Valerie didn’t even know she was coming. Louis has invited her. I know he did that because he can also see Val is weird today. She hugs Sandra excited to see her and her blond friend laughs as usual. Val lets Sandra sit at her spot next to Eleanor and she keeps herself standing up. Then Valerie looks at me and smiles. Her long brown braid rests on her shoulder and her giant eyes seem tired. She is beautiful.
I know she knows I’m deep in thought. I mean you don’t have to be Einstein to figure that out. She stands up and comes towards me. Since there are no spots free for her to sit down beside me because Lou and annoying Louis are placing their asses there, she asks me if she can sit down on my lap.
-You don’t need to ask, Val. – I say glad that she wants to be close to me as I want to be close to her.
-Well, I want to ask, Hazz.
She smiles and takes her seat on my lap and I see Lou smiling looking to her hands. I am aware she knows I’m falling for Valerie as an idiot and then I see her friend Sandra glancing at us from the corner of her eyes. She purses her lips and lets out a sigh. I wonder why she did that but somehow I know she is worried. I don’t particularly know if she is worried for me or for Val though. Maybe for the two of us.
Valerie then bends on me and places her mouth in my ear.
-Look at Liam’s bitchy rest face and do not laugh.
She whispers in my ear and when I look at Liam I laugh silently. He really has a bitchy face while he stares to nowhere. Valerie throws popcorn to him and when he starts to look for the guilty friend she is already turned around pretending to talk to me. I shake my head smiling to her.
-Is he looking at me? How long do you think I can manage throwing things at him? – She says smiling as a little kid. I’m falling for a five year old.
-I don’t know. I mean it’s obviously you, but let’s see how long it takes for him to figure that out. – I chuckle and she punches my arm.
-Why would it be that obvious? I am an actress you know.
-You are the only one who would throw popcorn at Liam.
She laughs at that and turns around only to find Liam looking at her with an eyebrow raised up and an amused expression.
-I know; Harry is so annoying. I told him not to throw popcorn at you but you know him; he would never listen.
I laugh at that and tickle her waist until she begs me to stop in between bits of laughter. Some of our friends are looking at us thinking that we are lovebirds but we are not so fuck off. Val then leans on me and brings her mouth to my ear again. This time she is that close that her lips touch my earlobe when she whispers to me.
-Wanna know something? I’ve been horny all day at set today because I couldn’t get the other night out of my head.
I know she is referring at the night were we touch each other and that makes me hold my breath. I’ve been there too at the studio but it’s so hot that she recognizes she thinks about sex too. Well it wasn’t technically sex but I have been giving it a thought and I have come to the conclusion that whenever we are having sex (if we are having sex at all) I’m most likely dying. I mean her hands almost give me a heart attack. What would she do to me when I am inside her? These thoughts are blowing my mind and I know she knows she has left me dizzy while she talks casually to our friends. She is mean but I can be evil too.
Luckily she is wearing a summer dress and the fabric is covering our legs. I move discreetly my hand until it is under her crotch, hidden by her dress. When I place my hand there I feel her body tense and her crotch stretching at my touch. She has no idea how hot she really is. I move my fingers caressing her sex through the fabric of her undies and I see her all tensed up on top of me. I try to stay calm so that no one guesses but I know I’ll have to stop this eventually or I’m giving myself a boner. I notice that she laughs so loud now trying to release the voice she has been keeping. When Niall tells a story she throws her head back laughing, as everyone thinks, only I know why she is really throwing her head back.
She lets out a small moan and I know that no one apart from me and probably Lou has heard it but she starts stretching herself like if it was a moan from tiredness. She is a smart girl. She also takes advantage of her stretch to lay down leaning her back on my chest, placing her head on my shoulder besides my own head.
-You need to stop with this, Harry. – She whispers in my ear. – Please.
She begging me turns me on but I know she is right.
-You have no idea how... – She moans again. – They are going to notice. Please Harry.
I finally remove my hand from her crotch, placing her undies in place and she looks at me flabbergasted.
-Why would you think you could do that?
-Well, you were trying to tease me. If you tease me, I tease you back.
She brings her face even closer to mine and just when I thought she was going to kiss me on the lips she sticks her tongue out for me. She was messing with me once again and I give her a frown like a little kid. I know she wouldn’t kiss me in front of our friends. For some reason she doesn’t want to tell them but I’m dying to tell the lads, especially Louis. Sometimes it feels like she is embarrassed of me but I want to think that she only doesn’t want to mess everything up.
She then stands up and stretches herself. When Sandra gets up and leaves her spot, Valerie gladly takes it. Sandra then walks towards the kitchen and when she arrives where I’m sitting she bends towards me.
-I’m thirsty. Can you give me some water? – She asks.
-Sure. – I tell her as I get up from the couch and lead her towards the kitchen.
When we arrive to the kitchen, I turn towards the fridge to get some cold water for her and she takes a seat at the counter.
-Thanks. – She tells me when I give her the water. – So you and Val.
I don’t know what to say. Would she know? Even if she doesn’t, I want her to know and Valerie is not around so I can tell her later that I thought she already knew. I mean she saw us the other day at her place.
-I know. Valerie has told me. – She laughs. – You know we have been friends for a while now.
-For how long? – I ask her smiling taking a seat myself.
-For about... twelve years.
She says smiling and I instantly get jealous that she has spent that much time with Valerie. I’m sure she knows her perfectly and that she has seen her in lots of different moments in their life. I think about a younger Valerie falling in love for the first time. And I picture an even younger Valerie playing with the kids who would try to piss her off because obviously the whole class was in love with sweet Valerie.
-You can imagine how much I truly love her.
-I mean it’s not hard to grow fond to her.
-She is family to me, you know. I actually move here because she told me Los Angeles would be fun for the two of us. She was right. – She smiles probably thinking about she and Val in LA. – I know pretty much everything there is to know about Val in terms of friendship - she widens her eyes making sure I'm not thinking about sex or something like that - and I have seen her... behaviour in the past few months... Be careful, Harry.
-I won’t hurt her. – I like how this girl takes care of Valerie.
-I know. I mean be careful yourself. I love Val but she is trouble.
I look at her so damn confused. It’s actually the first time it happens the other way around. Usually my friends would tell me to be careful with the girl and try not to hurt her but now her friend is taking care of me. I know she is right though, Valerie has trouble written on her forehead.
-You don’t have to worry though. We are not going into a relationship because we don’t really have time.
-Alright, just wanted to warm you. I hope it doesn’t freak you out but... – she places her empty glass in the sink – Listen, she suffered a lot a few months ago because of a relationship. I know she hasn’t told you, probably she won’t ever tell you and if that’s what she wants I’ll have to respect that but just...don’t expect too much from her. She is not gonna give it to you.
I nod and she walks out of the kitchen, me following her. When we reach the living room, we find Valerie and Louis playing with the tape and before Sandra takes a seat, I pull her into a hug, appreciating her talking to me. She smiles and then goes to see what the guys are doing.
-Jesus, Louis, why would you play random words and tape with Val? She is seriously awesome.
Louis has already a piece of tape that goes from one eyebrow to the other passing through his nose which gives him a look of a weird amused alien. He has also a piece of tape that goes from one corner of his mouth to the other passing all around his hair. That’s going to hurt when he takes those off.
-Squash. – Valerie says smiling at Louis and he gets stuck with his own tongue.
-Squash? What type of word is that? Damn it, it’s the first time I hear the word squash! Guys google it, I’m sure it’s not even a word!
Valerie laughs enjoying her victory and sticks another piece of tape in Louis’ mouth. I can tell she is not weird anymore and I’m glad she is in her sweet mood again.
-Let me take a selfie with you loser. – She takes a picture of them two while Eleanor laughs hard and then she takes the pieces of tape out of Louis mercilessly.
Louis shouts as a girl and everyone laughs as he pretends to cry.
-That hurt! – He says when Valerie took out the tape from his lips. – Seriously, that really hurt. – He says whining amused.
I then take a seat at the couch and Valerie flies to sit on my lap again. I place my arms around her and she shows me the tap playfully.
-Alright, I’ll play with you, little kid.
-Thanks daddy. – She says smiling playfully. – Alright so we have to say random words that don’t have to connect at all. The first person to stumble, blank or repeat a word looses that round and the winner of the round gets to apply a piece of clear tape to the loser’s face. – She says smiling excitedly and showing me the tape. I laugh. – The game is done when someone has three pieces of tape in their face.
-Alright.
-You go first. You say any word and then we would go from there, man. – She says moving her hands and I have to laugh.
-Guitar.
-Pool.
-Chicken.
-Sex.
I don’t know why but I blank and she starts laughing.
-Okay. – I try to compose myself.
-No, no. You lost! Come on. – She says getting a piece of tape that she is going to apply to my face.
She applies a tape moustache to my face and I shake my head chuckling at her.
-Tape. – She says.
-Oven.
-Sweater. – She says laughing at my tape moustache.
-Chips. – I am laughing myself too.
-Masturbation. – She says smiling at me. I know what she is doing and so I smile letting out an amused breath.
-Steady. – She raises her eyebrows impressed that I went on. To be honest, I’m impressed too.
-Boring.
-Love. – I say smiling at her.
She blanks staring at me. I knew that was going to catch her off guard. I laugh and take a piece of tape amused and stick it on her cheeks and nose. I don’t want to be too evil because I don’t want to hurt her if I have to take it off of her. We both laugh staring at each other with the tape on our faces.
-Alright, do I start now? – She asks and I laugh.
-Yes. – We are both laughing like idiots.
-Trip.
-Boat.
-Stingy.
I am about to say something, I swear, but I blank again because I was thinking of Valerie saying sex smiling to me again. She laughs at me because I have blanked and I smack her legs pretending to be angry.
-It was “sex” again. I keep on thinking of you saying “sex” that way. Gosh, “sex” is in my head.
She takes another piece of tape and adds it to my face from my forehead to my tape moustache passing all the outline of my nose.
-Hey, it’s not fair! – Louis says. – You are being good to Harry! You added tape on my eyebrows, my lips and my entire hair! Harry’s places don’t even hurt when you are taking them off!
-Shhhh. – It’s everything Valerie says and I burst into laughter. – For some reason you look like Michael Jackson after surgery.
We both laugh at that.
-Alright so this might be the last round.
-If I lose? – I ask her and she laughs.
-Yes.
-Blue. – I start without even ask her.
-Bikini.
-Steak.
-Hot. – She says pretending to have a moustache like me with her finger.
-You.
-Those are related! – Niall says from the couch and Louis laughs.
-Dinner.
-Date.
-Pirate.
I blank again.
-Oh, shit. – I say and she places tape in my forehead catching a curl from my head with the tape.
-I’m sorry. – She says while she takes the piece of tape off of her face and then she takes off the tape from me.
I squint my eyes and wrinkle my nose when she takes the tape from me and she caresses my skin after the tape is gone. She keeps saying sorry and I hear Louis whining that she was not that nice with him. That makes me smile; maybe she really doesn’t want to hurt me.
When she takes off my tape moustache I whine louder and she apologies bending and pecking my skin several times where the moustache was, which means she is almost kissing my lips. I stay still looking at her because I think she hasn’t realized all of our friends are looking at us and she keeps kissing my skin and telling me that she is sorry.
-It’s alright, Val. It didn’t hurt that much. – I say smiling and she pecks my lips.
Now the lads are loud and they cheer us up and Valerie realizes what she has just done. She smiles apologetically at me and says she is sorry.
-What? Don’t be sorry! I thought you didn’t want them to know and that’s why I said nothing.
-Well, fuck off. – She says pulling me closer to her caressing my face and kisses my lips.
This feels so good it’s crazy.
For some reason I got mad when Val talked to Eleanor and not to me. I would have appreciated that she looks for me when she is upset because I know I would look for her if I were upset myself. She just makes me happy and when we are alone it’s like there is no one else in the planet, therefore there are no problems nor worries. She is everything I see right now and she is sitting next to El, who has grown to be a great friend of hers and it makes me jealous sometimes.
I want to know everything about Valerie and I want to be that guy people would look for when they want to know something about her because they know I would know that too. But since we decided to be friends with benefits, I see how she has distanced her emotional self from me so that I don’t get attached to her. What she doesn’t know if that I’m already attached to her but I will manage. That’s my problem and I’ll take care of it.
Her friend Sandra arrives and apparently Valerie didn’t even know she was coming. Louis has invited her. I know he did that because he can also see Val is weird today. She hugs Sandra excited to see her and her blond friend laughs as usual. Val lets Sandra sit at her spot next to Eleanor and she keeps herself standing up. Then Valerie looks at me and smiles. Her long brown braid rests on her shoulder and her giant eyes seem tired. She is beautiful.
I know she knows I’m deep in thought. I mean you don’t have to be Einstein to figure that out. She stands up and comes towards me. Since there are no spots free for her to sit down beside me because Lou and annoying Louis are placing their asses there, she asks me if she can sit down on my lap.
-You don’t need to ask, Val. – I say glad that she wants to be close to me as I want to be close to her.
-Well, I want to ask, Hazz.
She smiles and takes her seat on my lap and I see Lou smiling looking to her hands. I am aware she knows I’m falling for Valerie as an idiot and then I see her friend Sandra glancing at us from the corner of her eyes. She purses her lips and lets out a sigh. I wonder why she did that but somehow I know she is worried. I don’t particularly know if she is worried for me or for Val though. Maybe for the two of us.
Valerie then bends on me and places her mouth in my ear.
-Look at Liam’s bitchy rest face and do not laugh.
She whispers in my ear and when I look at Liam I laugh silently. He really has a bitchy face while he stares to nowhere. Valerie throws popcorn to him and when he starts to look for the guilty friend she is already turned around pretending to talk to me. I shake my head smiling to her.
-Is he looking at me? How long do you think I can manage throwing things at him? – She says smiling as a little kid. I’m falling for a five year old.
-I don’t know. I mean it’s obviously you, but let’s see how long it takes for him to figure that out. – I chuckle and she punches my arm.
-Why would it be that obvious? I am an actress you know.
-You are the only one who would throw popcorn at Liam.
She laughs at that and turns around only to find Liam looking at her with an eyebrow raised up and an amused expression.
-I know; Harry is so annoying. I told him not to throw popcorn at you but you know him; he would never listen.
I laugh at that and tickle her waist until she begs me to stop in between bits of laughter. Some of our friends are looking at us thinking that we are lovebirds but we are not so fuck off. Val then leans on me and brings her mouth to my ear again. This time she is that close that her lips touch my earlobe when she whispers to me.
-Wanna know something? I’ve been horny all day at set today because I couldn’t get the other night out of my head.
I know she is referring at the night were we touch each other and that makes me hold my breath. I’ve been there too at the studio but it’s so hot that she recognizes she thinks about sex too. Well it wasn’t technically sex but I have been giving it a thought and I have come to the conclusion that whenever we are having sex (if we are having sex at all) I’m most likely dying. I mean her hands almost give me a heart attack. What would she do to me when I am inside her? These thoughts are blowing my mind and I know she knows she has left me dizzy while she talks casually to our friends. She is mean but I can be evil too.
Luckily she is wearing a summer dress and the fabric is covering our legs. I move discreetly my hand until it is under her crotch, hidden by her dress. When I place my hand there I feel her body tense and her crotch stretching at my touch. She has no idea how hot she really is. I move my fingers caressing her sex through the fabric of her undies and I see her all tensed up on top of me. I try to stay calm so that no one guesses but I know I’ll have to stop this eventually or I’m giving myself a boner. I notice that she laughs so loud now trying to release the voice she has been keeping. When Niall tells a story she throws her head back laughing, as everyone thinks, only I know why she is really throwing her head back.
She lets out a small moan and I know that no one apart from me and probably Lou has heard it but she starts stretching herself like if it was a moan from tiredness. She is a smart girl. She also takes advantage of her stretch to lay down leaning her back on my chest, placing her head on my shoulder besides my own head.
-You need to stop with this, Harry. – She whispers in my ear. – Please.
She begging me turns me on but I know she is right.
-You have no idea how... – She moans again. – They are going to notice. Please Harry.
I finally remove my hand from her crotch, placing her undies in place and she looks at me flabbergasted.
-Why would you think you could do that?
-Well, you were trying to tease me. If you tease me, I tease you back.
She brings her face even closer to mine and just when I thought she was going to kiss me on the lips she sticks her tongue out for me. She was messing with me once again and I give her a frown like a little kid. I know she wouldn’t kiss me in front of our friends. For some reason she doesn’t want to tell them but I’m dying to tell the lads, especially Louis. Sometimes it feels like she is embarrassed of me but I want to think that she only doesn’t want to mess everything up.
She then stands up and stretches herself. When Sandra gets up and leaves her spot, Valerie gladly takes it. Sandra then walks towards the kitchen and when she arrives where I’m sitting she bends towards me.
-I’m thirsty. Can you give me some water? – She asks.
-Sure. – I tell her as I get up from the couch and lead her towards the kitchen.
When we arrive to the kitchen, I turn towards the fridge to get some cold water for her and she takes a seat at the counter.
-Thanks. – She tells me when I give her the water. – So you and Val.
I don’t know what to say. Would she know? Even if she doesn’t, I want her to know and Valerie is not around so I can tell her later that I thought she already knew. I mean she saw us the other day at her place.
-I know. Valerie has told me. – She laughs. – You know we have been friends for a while now.
-For how long? – I ask her smiling taking a seat myself.
-For about... twelve years.
She says smiling and I instantly get jealous that she has spent that much time with Valerie. I’m sure she knows her perfectly and that she has seen her in lots of different moments in their life. I think about a younger Valerie falling in love for the first time. And I picture an even younger Valerie playing with the kids who would try to piss her off because obviously the whole class was in love with sweet Valerie.
-You can imagine how much I truly love her.
-I mean it’s not hard to grow fond to her.
-She is family to me, you know. I actually move here because she told me Los Angeles would be fun for the two of us. She was right. – She smiles probably thinking about she and Val in LA. – I know pretty much everything there is to know about Val in terms of friendship - she widens her eyes making sure I'm not thinking about sex or something like that - and I have seen her... behaviour in the past few months... Be careful, Harry.
-I won’t hurt her. – I like how this girl takes care of Valerie.
-I know. I mean be careful yourself. I love Val but she is trouble.
I look at her so damn confused. It’s actually the first time it happens the other way around. Usually my friends would tell me to be careful with the girl and try not to hurt her but now her friend is taking care of me. I know she is right though, Valerie has trouble written on her forehead.
-You don’t have to worry though. We are not going into a relationship because we don’t really have time.
-Alright, just wanted to warm you. I hope it doesn’t freak you out but... – she places her empty glass in the sink – Listen, she suffered a lot a few months ago because of a relationship. I know she hasn’t told you, probably she won’t ever tell you and if that’s what she wants I’ll have to respect that but just...don’t expect too much from her. She is not gonna give it to you.
I nod and she walks out of the kitchen, me following her. When we reach the living room, we find Valerie and Louis playing with the tape and before Sandra takes a seat, I pull her into a hug, appreciating her talking to me. She smiles and then goes to see what the guys are doing.
-Jesus, Louis, why would you play random words and tape with Val? She is seriously awesome.
Louis has already a piece of tape that goes from one eyebrow to the other passing through his nose which gives him a look of a weird amused alien. He has also a piece of tape that goes from one corner of his mouth to the other passing all around his hair. That’s going to hurt when he takes those off.
-Squash. – Valerie says smiling at Louis and he gets stuck with his own tongue.
-Squash? What type of word is that? Damn it, it’s the first time I hear the word squash! Guys google it, I’m sure it’s not even a word!
Valerie laughs enjoying her victory and sticks another piece of tape in Louis’ mouth. I can tell she is not weird anymore and I’m glad she is in her sweet mood again.
-Let me take a selfie with you loser. – She takes a picture of them two while Eleanor laughs hard and then she takes the pieces of tape out of Louis mercilessly.
Louis shouts as a girl and everyone laughs as he pretends to cry.
-That hurt! – He says when Valerie took out the tape from his lips. – Seriously, that really hurt. – He says whining amused.
I then take a seat at the couch and Valerie flies to sit on my lap again. I place my arms around her and she shows me the tap playfully.
-Alright, I’ll play with you, little kid.
-Thanks daddy. – She says smiling playfully. – Alright so we have to say random words that don’t have to connect at all. The first person to stumble, blank or repeat a word looses that round and the winner of the round gets to apply a piece of clear tape to the loser’s face. – She says smiling excitedly and showing me the tape. I laugh. – The game is done when someone has three pieces of tape in their face.
-Alright.
-You go first. You say any word and then we would go from there, man. – She says moving her hands and I have to laugh.
-Guitar.
-Pool.
-Chicken.
-Sex.
I don’t know why but I blank and she starts laughing.
-Okay. – I try to compose myself.
-No, no. You lost! Come on. – She says getting a piece of tape that she is going to apply to my face.
She applies a tape moustache to my face and I shake my head chuckling at her.
-Tape. – She says.
-Oven.
-Sweater. – She says laughing at my tape moustache.
-Chips. – I am laughing myself too.
-Masturbation. – She says smiling at me. I know what she is doing and so I smile letting out an amused breath.
-Steady. – She raises her eyebrows impressed that I went on. To be honest, I’m impressed too.
-Boring.
-Love. – I say smiling at her.
She blanks staring at me. I knew that was going to catch her off guard. I laugh and take a piece of tape amused and stick it on her cheeks and nose. I don’t want to be too evil because I don’t want to hurt her if I have to take it off of her. We both laugh staring at each other with the tape on our faces.
-Alright, do I start now? – She asks and I laugh.
-Yes. – We are both laughing like idiots.
-Trip.
-Boat.
-Stingy.
I am about to say something, I swear, but I blank again because I was thinking of Valerie saying sex smiling to me again. She laughs at me because I have blanked and I smack her legs pretending to be angry.
-It was “sex” again. I keep on thinking of you saying “sex” that way. Gosh, “sex” is in my head.
She takes another piece of tape and adds it to my face from my forehead to my tape moustache passing all the outline of my nose.
-Hey, it’s not fair! – Louis says. – You are being good to Harry! You added tape on my eyebrows, my lips and my entire hair! Harry’s places don’t even hurt when you are taking them off!
-Shhhh. – It’s everything Valerie says and I burst into laughter. – For some reason you look like Michael Jackson after surgery.
We both laugh at that.
-Alright so this might be the last round.
-If I lose? – I ask her and she laughs.
-Yes.
-Blue. – I start without even ask her.
-Bikini.
-Steak.
-Hot. – She says pretending to have a moustache like me with her finger.
-You.
-Those are related! – Niall says from the couch and Louis laughs.
-Dinner.
-Date.
-Pirate.
I blank again.
-Oh, shit. – I say and she places tape in my forehead catching a curl from my head with the tape.
-I’m sorry. – She says while she takes the piece of tape off of her face and then she takes off the tape from me.
I squint my eyes and wrinkle my nose when she takes the tape from me and she caresses my skin after the tape is gone. She keeps saying sorry and I hear Louis whining that she was not that nice with him. That makes me smile; maybe she really doesn’t want to hurt me.
When she takes off my tape moustache I whine louder and she apologies bending and pecking my skin several times where the moustache was, which means she is almost kissing my lips. I stay still looking at her because I think she hasn’t realized all of our friends are looking at us and she keeps kissing my skin and telling me that she is sorry.
-It’s alright, Val. It didn’t hurt that much. – I say smiling and she pecks my lips.
Now the lads are loud and they cheer us up and Valerie realizes what she has just done. She smiles apologetically at me and says she is sorry.
-What? Don’t be sorry! I thought you didn’t want them to know and that’s why I said nothing.
-Well, fuck off. – She says pulling me closer to her caressing my face and kisses my lips.
This feels so good it’s crazy.
My beloved friend Will left today. I hate goodbyes. I really really don’t like them. I never know what to say. Anyway what I hate the most is not the very moment when you say goodbye, but the emptiness that’s left afterwards.
It’s always sad when we have to say goodbye to Will. Since I moved to LA, I’m literally thousands of miles away from home, like real home. Of course I have my new house here in LA where I live with Sandy and of course it feels like home when I’m here but secretly, I still think of Spain as home. Not before though. Before, and I mean when I was with Douglas, home was London but now that none of that stills there, home is just home. Whenever Will comes, he sort of brings a piece of home back to me and hence whenever he is gone, he takes that piece back with him once again. That is sad. He always takes a bit of home back when he gets in his plane and leaves coldness as his back gets further away.
It’s always sad when we have to say goodbye to Will but it’s even sadder when you find your exfiancé at the airport. That's why I really need a drink and I also need Eleanor who is the only one who knows a bit about Douglas, I mean apart from Sands. The thing is Sandra is also Douglas' friend and, let's face it, I have talked to that blonde friend of mine about Douglas more than two thousands times already and I know her too well. Let's say I already know what she is going to say. I’m craving to get to Louis’ where all of my friends are hanging out now while I remember the day Eleanor and I talked about Doug.
*Flashback*
I’m driving to Eleanor’s house after both Louis and Eleanor called me. They have gotten into a fight so I called Harry to ask him to entertain Louis while I go to check on El. I am so flattered that Louis calls me between all of his friends but I know that here in Los Angeles, Eleanor doesn’t know that many people and I’ve grown to love that little model from England so I want to take care of her.
I get to her house with the new pair of trainers and the sport outfit I got for her at the mall wearing sports clothes myself. As I get into her house I hug her tight and she sobs in our hug. I let her cry for a while until she pulls out from our hug.
-I’m sorry, Val. I didn’t know who else to call. Thanks for coming.
-Don’t be; I’m glad you call me. These are for you.
I give her the bag with all her new sport outfit and she looks at me confused.
-Thank you. – She says in between sobs and bits of laughter.
We sit down in her couch and she tells me what has happened between Louis and her. Apparently they got into a fight because poor Eleanor said to dickhead Louis that she had to leave to England because she was hired at Pepe Jeans London as the model for the new campaign. She was so excited and Louis got mad at her because she was leaving.
-I thought he would be a supportive boyfriend and that he would be happy for me but he is so selfish that he gets mad because I’m leaving? What the hell, Valerie? He leaves all the time. I mean he left me in London when he came to Los Angeles, didn’t he? And I supported him. Is too much to ask for a boyfriend that supports me back? – El cries.
I hug her tight and caress her hair.
-He said that falling in love with me is the worst thing that has ever happened to him, Val. – She cries louder. What the fuck, Louis? You fucked up my friend.
-Jesus, he didn’t mean that, El. - I try to think about something not too stupid to say. - He is just so in love with you it drives him crazy. Look, I know I haven’t known him for that long but we know each other pretty well and I know he loves you with everything he has. He was just saying that because he felt hurt and wanted to hurt you back.
Eleanor looks at the ice cream and I laugh slightly, earning a teary smile from her. I open the ice cream and put it in front of her and she takes a spoon full of chocolate.
-He is a dickhead; we all know that. – She laughs slightly and nods in agreement. – But I can tell he really loves you. You know I get to travel a lot too and sometimes it’s just difficult for us to deal with it. I know from your side you kind of feel like he is the one who leaves to have fun and you stay home but it’s also hard for the one who is leaving. Sometimes you just want to be at home and you have to stay wherever you are at that moment and sometimes you get homesick and it sucks. For Louis, having you with him is such a gift and he obviously doesn’t want you to go but he has to understand. You can’t leave that opportunity pass by. Congratulations, by the way. – I smile for her and she smiles back, now calmer. – You just need to talk to him when you guys are both calmer and you’ll see you guys will figure things out. Louis wouldn’t survive if he lost you. Just give him some time and confidence; he will understand.
This time Eleanor pulls me in for a hug and caresses my back appreciatively.
-You’re such a friend. I understand why Louis says he is so lucky he found you.
-I try to be a good friend to who are good friends to me; quite simply. – I smile at her. – Now get change in the outfit I got you because we are running at the beach and then some yoga will do. You’ll feel new.
-Thank you. – She says before changing in her sports clothes.
We do some jogging and then some yoga in the beach and when we are done she asks me to stay with her to get her distracted. She asks me about my life and I feel comfortable enough to tell her about Douglas. I mostly tell her good memories of our relationship but then I tell her that he cheated on me. I try to avoid that it was when we were apart because I’m aware that she and Louis will be apart for a while now, but she knows the important thing. Now she is the only one of my new friends who knows anything about Douglas and that makes me realize that I’m going to miss her too.
*End of the flashback*
I decide I’ll text El to check if she is at Louis’ and in case she is not, I’ll ask her to come over.
From Eleanor Calder: I’m here. Is everything OK?
To Eleanor Calder: No worries. Just need a girl talk.
She texts me smiley faces and kisses back as sweet as she is and as soon as I get into Louis’ I go directly towards El after greeting Louis who has opened the door for me with a hug and the rest of the people there with a general hello. Sitting on the couch there are Niall, Liam, Lou, Sophia, Harry and a brunette (apparently Niall’s “friend”). I avoid any eye contact with Harry. After seeing Douglas at the airport I don’t even know if I want to see Hazz at all. I don’t love Douglas anymore but I did love him as crazy. He cheated on me but I can’t help wondering what would have happened if he hadn’t. Maybe I’ll be married now.
El and I go to the kitchen with the excuse that “I’m starving and El is preparing some meal for me” and we sit down in the breakfast table. I tell her about my encounter with my ex fiancé at the airport.
I was hugging Will goodbye doing my mommy’s roll asking him to be careful and to take care. When Will was gone, I saw someone staring at me from the coffee shop. My heart stopped beating for a second when I recognized Douglas, wearing the gray beanie he used to wear in our winter mornings and his black woollen sweater that I have worn so many nights to fall asleep. He looked at me sternly and gave me a head lift. I gave him another one and made my way out of the airport, my mind travelling to a past time.
-I have moved on, I really have... but so many memories came through my head when I saw him and...You know, I haven’t felt anything for him because I don’t love him anymore but I just thought of what I lost and I can’t help feeling some sort of failure now.
-What are you talking about? – Eleanor asks me concerned.
-Well, El, my life was so settled down. I was getting married and I was so truly convinced that he was the one and that I was having kids and living a happy life with him. And right now I’m just back and forth, hooking up with dudes every now and then and just having fun. Everything has gone loosen up now and I can’t help but to feel that as a failure.
-Hey, Valerie, you are twenty years old for god’s sake. The normal thing is what you have right now. He was not the one and if there is someone who is a failure here is him. I mean he is not going to find a girl like you ever in his life but you, come on! You are Valerie Veneel! If you threw yourself on a railroad, I’m sure every man waiting at the station would jump to catch you.
I laugh at that and she laughs with me. She then places her hand over mine.
-I understand how you feel but just give yourself a bit of time. We always tend to think that the past is better than the present just because we no longer have it and we are that much of idiots but you can make a great future. I’m sure you’ll do it and that Douglas, I mean fuck him.
I laugh at sweet Eleanor cursing and I hug her thanking her for being that lovely with me. We then come back to the living room and I take a seat on the couch next to Lou and keep thinking about Eleanor’s words.
She is so damn right. I have to enjoy what I have right now, leaving the past behind. With this thought I glare at Harry who is serious and has his eyes fixated on me. “You alright?” he gesticulates with his lips and I nod but I know he doesn’t buy it when he nods back at me somewhat annoyed.
When everyone gets hungry and Liam says he would go and bring some pizza, Harry takes advantage of the messy mood and gets closer to me.
-Can I talk to you? – He asks.
-Sure. What is it?
-Let’s go to my room, shall we?
We head upstairs and most of our friends seem to notice but none of them says anything. I guess they can also feel how tense the mood is. When we walk into Harry’s tidy room he closes the door behind him.
-Are you okay? – He asks me concerned.
-I am; I have already told you so. – I smile trying to enlighten the mood.
-Okay but you know I didn’t buy that one. What’s wrong?
-There’s nothing wrong, really. I’m just a bit tired.
-Why would you talk to Eleanor and not to me?
-She is a girl, Harry and I’m a girl too. Sometimes I need a bit of a girl talk. Anyway, I can talk to whoever I feel like talking. You don’t necessarily have to be my first choice.
-Sweet, Valerie. – He says annoyed and sits on his bed.
I look at him and see he really is bothered because I didn’t tell him first? What a kid. Then I realize this sort of reaction might be expected from a boyfriend, not from a sex buddy. That’s what I didn’t want happening.
-Harry, this is what I don’t want. I don’t need to have to give explanations to some dude and I don’t want you taking care of me. I can take care of myself and I know who I feel up to talk to. You and I have fun, we don’t talk about shit.
I sit on his lap but he doesn’t even touch me and he doesn’t look at me. I grab his chin and force him to look at me.
-Hey, don’t make it that big of a deal. You don’t have to care.
-You don’t get it, Valerie. I don’t care because “I have to care”; I care about what’s wrong with you because I care about you. I mean as a friend but I do. Wouldn’t you care about me if I were upset? Wouldn’t you care about Louis?
Alright, he has got a point.
-Fine, you are right but I told you it’s nothing and you can’t get offended I’m not giving you an explanation. I appreciate you caring about me but don’t press me for justifications or special treat. I just felt like talking about it with someone else. It’s not that big of a deal.
I stare at him for a minute while he looks at the floor sternly. I dare to kiss him on the cheek and his frown relaxes a bit. As it has worked, I kiss him on the cheek again and again until he has to smirk. Then he gives in, placing his arms around my body.
-I’m sorry. – He says and sighs.
-You don’t have to be sorry either. – I say to him and kiss his lips.
We kiss long but it’s a sweet kiss this time and for some reason I like it. I know any other day I would have tried to turn our tender kiss into a passionate one to not get emotional but tonight I need a bit of affection and I know he is willing to give it to me.
Harry’s POV
I wish none of the lads nor the girls were here now. Don’t get me wrong, I love having my friends around as much as possible but I know Valerie is upset for some reason and I want to cuddle with her and pamper her until she feels fine again.
For some reason I got mad when Val talked to Eleanor and not to me. I would have appreciated that she looks for me when she is upset because I know I would look for her if I were upset myself. She just makes me happy and when we are alone it’s like there is no one else in the planet, therefore there are no problems nor worries. She is everything I see right now and she is sitting next to El, who has grown to be a great friend of hers and it makes me jealous sometimes.
I want to know everything about Valerie and I want to be that guy people would look for when they want to know something about her because they know I would know that too. But since we decided to be friends with benefits, I see how she has distanced her emotional self from me so that I don’t get attached to her. What she doesn’t know if that I’m already attached to her but I will manage. That’s my problem and I’ll take care of it.
Her friend Sandra arrives and apparently Valerie didn’t even know she was coming. Louis has invited her. I know he did that because he can also see Val is weird today. She hugs Sandra excited to see her and her blond friend laughs as usual. Val lets Sandra sit at her spot next to Eleanor and she keeps herself standing up. Then Valerie looks at me and smiles. Her long brown braid rests on her shoulder and her giant eyes seem tired. She is beautiful.
I know she knows I’m deep in thought. I mean you don’t have to be Einstein to figure that out. She stands up and comes towards me. Since there are no spots free for her to sit down beside me because Lou and annoying Louis are placing their asses there, she asks me if she can sit down on my lap.
-You don’t need to ask, Val. – I say glad that she wants to be close to me as I want to be close to her.
-Well, I want to ask, Hazz.
She smiles and takes her seat on my lap and I see Lou smiling looking to her hands. I am aware she knows I’m falling for Valerie as an idiot and then I see her friend Sandra glancing at us from the corner of her eyes. She purses her lips and lets out a sigh. I wonder why she did that but somehow I know she is worried. I don’t particularly know if she is worried for me or for Val though. Maybe for the two of us.
Valerie then bends on me and places her mouth in my ear.
-Look at Liam’s bitchy rest face and do not laugh.
She whispers in my ear and when I look at Liam I laugh silently. He really has a bitchy face while he stares to nowhere. Valerie throws popcorn to him and when he starts to look for the guilty friend she is already turned around pretending to talk to me. I shake my head smiling to her.
-Is he looking at me? How long do you think I can manage throwing things at him? – She says smiling as a little kid. I’m falling for a five year old.
-I don’t know. I mean it’s obviously you, but let’s see how long it takes for him to figure that out. – I chuckle and she punches my arm.
-Why would it be that obvious? I am an actress you know.
-You are the only one who would throw popcorn at Liam.
She laughs at that and turns around only to find Liam looking at her with an eyebrow raised up and an amused expression.
-I know; Harry is so annoying. I told him not to throw popcorn at you but you know him; he would never listen.
I laugh at that and tickle her waist until she begs me to stop in between bits of laughter. Some of our friends are looking at us thinking that we are lovebirds but we are not so fuck off. Val then leans on me and brings her mouth to my ear again. This time she is that close that her lips touch my earlobe when she whispers to me.
-Wanna know something? I’ve been horny all day at set today because I couldn’t get the other night out of my head.
I know she is referring at the night were we touch each other and that makes me hold my breath. I’ve been there too at the studio but it’s so hot that she recognizes she thinks about sex too. Well it wasn’t technically sex but I have been giving it a thought and I have come to the conclusion that whenever we are having sex (if we are having sex at all) I’m most likely dying. I mean her hands almost give me a heart attack. What would she do to me when I am inside her? These thoughts are blowing my mind and I know she knows she has left me dizzy while she talks casually to our friends. She is mean but I can be evil too.
Luckily she is wearing a summer dress and the fabric is covering our legs. I move discreetly my hand until it is under her crotch, hidden by her dress. When I place my hand there I feel her body tense and her crotch stretching at my touch. She has no idea how hot she really is. I move my fingers caressing her sex through the fabric of her undies and I see her all tensed up on top of me. I try to stay calm so that no one guesses but I know I’ll have to stop this eventually or I’m giving myself a boner. I notice that she laughs so loud now trying to release the voice she has been keeping. When Niall tells a story she throws her head back laughing, as everyone thinks, only I know why she is really throwing her head back.
She lets out a small moan and I know that no one apart from me and probably Lou has heard it but she starts stretching herself like if it was a moan from tiredness. She is a smart girl. She also takes advantage of her stretch to lay down leaning her back on my chest, placing her head on my shoulder besides my own head.
-You need to stop with this, Harry. – She whispers in my ear. – Please.
She begging me turns me on but I know she is right.
-You have no idea how... – She moans again. – They are going to notice. Please Harry.
I finally remove my hand from her crotch, placing her undies in place and she looks at me flabbergasted.
-Why would you think you could do that?
-Well, you were trying to tease me. If you tease me, I tease you back.
She brings her face even closer to mine and just when I thought she was going to kiss me on the lips she sticks her tongue out for me. She was messing with me once again and I give her a frown like a little kid. I know she wouldn’t kiss me in front of our friends. For some reason she doesn’t want to tell them but I’m dying to tell the lads, especially Louis. Sometimes it feels like she is embarrassed of me but I want to think that she only doesn’t want to mess everything up.
She then stands up and stretches herself. When Sandra gets up and leaves her spot, Valerie gladly takes it. Sandra then walks towards the kitchen and when she arrives where I’m sitting she bends towards me.
-I’m thirsty. Can you give me some water? – She asks.
-Sure. – I tell her as I get up from the couch and lead her towards the kitchen.
When we arrive to the kitchen, I turn towards the fridge to get some cold water for her and she takes a seat at the counter.
-Thanks. – She tells me when I give her the water. – So you and Val.
I don’t know what to say. Would she know? Even if she doesn’t, I want her to know and Valerie is not around so I can tell her later that I thought she already knew. I mean she saw us the other day at her place.
-I know. Valerie has told me. – She laughs. – You know we have been friends for a while now.
-For how long? – I ask her smiling taking a seat myself.
-For about... twelve years.
She says smiling and I instantly get jealous that she has spent that much time with Valerie. I’m sure she knows her perfectly and that she has seen her in lots of different moments in their life. I think about a younger Valerie falling in love for the first time. And I picture an even younger Valerie playing with the kids who would try to piss her off because obviously the whole class was in love with sweet Valerie.
-You can imagine how much I truly love her.
-I mean it’s not hard to grow fond to her.
-She is family to me, you know. I actually move here because she told me Los Angeles would be fun for the two of us. She was right. – She smiles probably thinking about she and Val in LA. – I know pretty much everything there is to know about Val in terms of friendship - she widens her eyes making sure I'm not thinking about sex or something like that - and I have seen her... behaviour in the past few months... Be careful, Harry.
-I won’t hurt her. – I like how this girl takes care of Valerie.
-I know. I mean be careful yourself. I love Val but she is trouble.
I look at her so damn confused. It’s actually the first time it happens the other way around. Usually my friends would tell me to be careful with the girl and try not to hurt her but now her friend is taking care of me. I know she is right though, Valerie has trouble written on her forehead.
-You don’t have to worry though. We are not going into a relationship because we don’t really have time.
-Alright, just wanted to warm you. I hope it doesn’t freak you out but... – she places her empty glass in the sink – Listen, she suffered a lot a few months ago because of a relationship. I know she hasn’t told you, probably she won’t ever tell you and if that’s what she wants I’ll have to respect that but just...don’t expect too much from her. She is not gonna give it to you.
I nod and she walks out of the kitchen, me following her. When we reach the living room, we find Valerie and Louis playing with the tape and before Sandra takes a seat, I pull her into a hug, appreciating her talking to me. She smiles and then goes to see what the guys are doing.
-Jesus, Louis, why would you play random words and tape with Val? She is seriously awesome.
Louis has already a piece of tape that goes from one eyebrow to the other passing through his nose which gives him a look of a weird amused alien. He has also a piece of tape that goes from one corner of his mouth to the other passing all around his hair. That’s going to hurt when he takes those off.
-Squash. – Valerie says smiling at Louis and he gets stuck with his own tongue.
-Squash? What type of word is that? Damn it, it’s the first time I hear the word squash! Guys google it, I’m sure it’s not even a word!
Valerie laughs enjoying her victory and sticks another piece of tape in Louis’ mouth. I can tell she is not weird anymore and I’m glad she is in her sweet mood again.
-Let me take a selfie with you loser. – She takes a picture of them two while Eleanor laughs hard and then she takes the pieces of tape out of Louis mercilessly.
Louis shouts as a girl and everyone laughs as he pretends to cry.
-That hurt! – He says when Valerie took out the tape from his lips. – Seriously, that really hurt. – He says whining amused.
I then take a seat at the couch and Valerie flies to sit on my lap again. I place my arms around her and she shows me the tap playfully.
-Alright, I’ll play with you, little kid.
-Thanks daddy. – She says smiling playfully. – Alright so we have to say random words that don’t have to connect at all. The first person to stumble, blank or repeat a word looses that round and the winner of the round gets to apply a piece of clear tape to the loser’s face. – She says smiling excitedly and showing me the tape. I laugh. – The game is done when someone has three pieces of tape in their face.
-Alright.
-You go first. You say any word and then we would go from there, man. – She says moving her hands and I have to laugh.
-Guitar.
-Pool.
-Chicken.
-Sex.
I don’t know why but I blank and she starts laughing.
-Okay. – I try to compose myself.
-No, no. You lost! Come on. – She says getting a piece of tape that she is going to apply to my face.
She applies a tape moustache to my face and I shake my head chuckling at her.
-Tape. – She says.
-Oven.
-Sweater. – She says laughing at my tape moustache.
-Chips. – I am laughing myself too.
-Masturbation. – She says smiling at me. I know what she is doing and so I smile letting out an amused breath.
-Steady. – She raises her eyebrows impressed that I went on. To be honest, I’m impressed too.
-Boring.
-Love. – I say smiling at her.
She blanks staring at me. I knew that was going to catch her off guard. I laugh and take a piece of tape amused and stick it on her cheeks and nose. I don’t want to be too evil because I don’t want to hurt her if I have to take it off of her. We both laugh staring at each other with the tape on our faces.
-Alright, do I start now? – She asks and I laugh.
-Yes. – We are both laughing like idiots.
-Trip.
-Boat.
-Stingy.
I am about to say something, I swear, but I blank again because I was thinking of Valerie saying sex smiling to me again. She laughs at me because I have blanked and I smack her legs pretending to be angry.
-It was “sex” again. I keep on thinking of you saying “sex” that way. Gosh, “sex” is in my head.
She takes another piece of tape and adds it to my face from my forehead to my tape moustache passing all the outline of my nose.
-Hey, it’s not fair! – Louis says. – You are being good to Harry! You added tape on my eyebrows, my lips and my entire hair! Harry’s places don’t even hurt when you are taking them off!
-Shhhh. – It’s everything Valerie says and I burst into laughter. – For some reason you look like Michael Jackson after surgery.
We both laugh at that.
-Alright so this might be the last round.
-If I lose? – I ask her and she laughs.
-Yes.
-Blue. – I start without even ask her.
-Bikini.
-Steak.
-Hot. – She says pretending to have a moustache like me with her finger.
-You.
-Those are related! – Niall says from the couch and Louis laughs.
-Dinner.
-Date.
-Pirate.
I blank again.
-Oh, shit. – I say and she places tape in my forehead catching a curl from my head with the tape.
-I’m sorry. – She says while she takes the piece of tape off of her face and then she takes off the tape from me.
I squint my eyes and wrinkle my nose when she takes the tape from me and she caresses my skin after the tape is gone. She keeps saying sorry and I hear Louis whining that she was not that nice with him. That makes me smile; maybe she really doesn’t want to hurt me.
When she takes off my tape moustache I whine louder and she apologies bending and pecking my skin several times where the moustache was, which means she is almost kissing my lips. I stay still looking at her because I think she hasn’t realized all of our friends are looking at us and she keeps kissing my skin and telling me that she is sorry.
-It’s alright, Val. It didn’t hurt that much. – I say smiling and she pecks my lips.
Now the lads are loud and they cheer us up and Valerie realizes what she has just done. She smiles apologetically at me and says she is sorry.
-What? Don’t be sorry! I thought you didn’t want them to know and that’s why I said nothing.
-Well, fuck off. – She says pulling me closer to her caressing my face and kisses my lips.
This feels so good it’s crazy.
For some reason I got mad when Val talked to Eleanor and not to me. I would have appreciated that she looks for me when she is upset because I know I would look for her if I were upset myself. She just makes me happy and when we are alone it’s like there is no one else in the planet, therefore there are no problems nor worries. She is everything I see right now and she is sitting next to El, who has grown to be a great friend of hers and it makes me jealous sometimes.
I want to know everything about Valerie and I want to be that guy people would look for when they want to know something about her because they know I would know that too. But since we decided to be friends with benefits, I see how she has distanced her emotional self from me so that I don’t get attached to her. What she doesn’t know if that I’m already attached to her but I will manage. That’s my problem and I’ll take care of it.
Her friend Sandra arrives and apparently Valerie didn’t even know she was coming. Louis has invited her. I know he did that because he can also see Val is weird today. She hugs Sandra excited to see her and her blond friend laughs as usual. Val lets Sandra sit at her spot next to Eleanor and she keeps herself standing up. Then Valerie looks at me and smiles. Her long brown braid rests on her shoulder and her giant eyes seem tired. She is beautiful.
I know she knows I’m deep in thought. I mean you don’t have to be Einstein to figure that out. She stands up and comes towards me. Since there are no spots free for her to sit down beside me because Lou and annoying Louis are placing their asses there, she asks me if she can sit down on my lap.
-You don’t need to ask, Val. – I say glad that she wants to be close to me as I want to be close to her.
-Well, I want to ask, Hazz.
She smiles and takes her seat on my lap and I see Lou smiling looking to her hands. I am aware she knows I’m falling for Valerie as an idiot and then I see her friend Sandra glancing at us from the corner of her eyes. She purses her lips and lets out a sigh. I wonder why she did that but somehow I know she is worried. I don’t particularly know if she is worried for me or for Val though. Maybe for the two of us.
Valerie then bends on me and places her mouth in my ear.
-Look at Liam’s bitchy rest face and do not laugh.
She whispers in my ear and when I look at Liam I laugh silently. He really has a bitchy face while he stares to nowhere. Valerie throws popcorn to him and when he starts to look for the guilty friend she is already turned around pretending to talk to me. I shake my head smiling to her.
-Is he looking at me? How long do you think I can manage throwing things at him? – She says smiling as a little kid. I’m falling for a five year old.
-I don’t know. I mean it’s obviously you, but let’s see how long it takes for him to figure that out. – I chuckle and she punches my arm.
-Why would it be that obvious? I am an actress you know.
-You are the only one who would throw popcorn at Liam.
She laughs at that and turns around only to find Liam looking at her with an eyebrow raised up and an amused expression.
-I know; Harry is so annoying. I told him not to throw popcorn at you but you know him; he would never listen.
I laugh at that and tickle her waist until she begs me to stop in between bits of laughter. Some of our friends are looking at us thinking that we are lovebirds but we are not so fuck off. Val then leans on me and brings her mouth to my ear again. This time she is that close that her lips touch my earlobe when she whispers to me.
-Wanna know something? I’ve been horny all day at set today because I couldn’t get the other night out of my head.
I know she is referring at the night were we touch each other and that makes me hold my breath. I’ve been there too at the studio but it’s so hot that she recognizes she thinks about sex too. Well it wasn’t technically sex but I have been giving it a thought and I have come to the conclusion that whenever we are having sex (if we are having sex at all) I’m most likely dying. I mean her hands almost give me a heart attack. What would she do to me when I am inside her? These thoughts are blowing my mind and I know she knows she has left me dizzy while she talks casually to our friends. She is mean but I can be evil too.
Luckily she is wearing a summer dress and the fabric is covering our legs. I move discreetly my hand until it is under her crotch, hidden by her dress. When I place my hand there I feel her body tense and her crotch stretching at my touch. She has no idea how hot she really is. I move my fingers caressing her sex through the fabric of her undies and I see her all tensed up on top of me. I try to stay calm so that no one guesses but I know I’ll have to stop this eventually or I’m giving myself a boner. I notice that she laughs so loud now trying to release the voice she has been keeping. When Niall tells a story she throws her head back laughing, as everyone thinks, only I know why she is really throwing her head back.
She lets out a small moan and I know that no one apart from me and probably Lou has heard it but she starts stretching herself like if it was a moan from tiredness. She is a smart girl. She also takes advantage of her stretch to lay down leaning her back on my chest, placing her head on my shoulder besides my own head.
-You need to stop with this, Harry. – She whispers in my ear. – Please.
She begging me turns me on but I know she is right.
-You have no idea how... – She moans again. – They are going to notice. Please Harry.
I finally remove my hand from her crotch, placing her undies in place and she looks at me flabbergasted.
-Why would you think you could do that?
-Well, you were trying to tease me. If you tease me, I tease you back.
She brings her face even closer to mine and just when I thought she was going to kiss me on the lips she sticks her tongue out for me. She was messing with me once again and I give her a frown like a little kid. I know she wouldn’t kiss me in front of our friends. For some reason she doesn’t want to tell them but I’m dying to tell the lads, especially Louis. Sometimes it feels like she is embarrassed of me but I want to think that she only doesn’t want to mess everything up.
She then stands up and stretches herself. When Sandra gets up and leaves her spot, Valerie gladly takes it. Sandra then walks towards the kitchen and when she arrives where I’m sitting she bends towards me.
-I’m thirsty. Can you give me some water? – She asks.
-Sure. – I tell her as I get up from the couch and lead her towards the kitchen.
When we arrive to the kitchen, I turn towards the fridge to get some cold water for her and she takes a seat at the counter.
-Thanks. – She tells me when I give her the water. – So you and Val.
I don’t know what to say. Would she know? Even if she doesn’t, I want her to know and Valerie is not around so I can tell her later that I thought she already knew. I mean she saw us the other day at her place.
-I know. Valerie has told me. – She laughs. – You know we have been friends for a while now.
-For how long? – I ask her smiling taking a seat myself.
-For about... twelve years.
She says smiling and I instantly get jealous that she has spent that much time with Valerie. I’m sure she knows her perfectly and that she has seen her in lots of different moments in their life. I think about a younger Valerie falling in love for the first time. And I picture an even younger Valerie playing with the kids who would try to piss her off because obviously the whole class was in love with sweet Valerie.
-You can imagine how much I truly love her.
-I mean it’s not hard to grow fond to her.
-She is family to me, you know. I actually move here because she told me Los Angeles would be fun for the two of us. She was right. – She smiles probably thinking about she and Val in LA. – I know pretty much everything there is to know about Val in terms of friendship - she widens her eyes making sure I'm not thinking about sex or something like that - and I have seen her... behaviour in the past few months... Be careful, Harry.
-I won’t hurt her. – I like how this girl takes care of Valerie.
-I know. I mean be careful yourself. I love Val but she is trouble.
I look at her so damn confused. It’s actually the first time it happens the other way around. Usually my friends would tell me to be careful with the girl and try not to hurt her but now her friend is taking care of me. I know she is right though, Valerie has trouble written on her forehead.
-You don’t have to worry though. We are not going into a relationship because we don’t really have time.
-Alright, just wanted to warm you. I hope it doesn’t freak you out but... – she places her empty glass in the sink – Listen, she suffered a lot a few months ago because of a relationship. I know she hasn’t told you, probably she won’t ever tell you and if that’s what she wants I’ll have to respect that but just...don’t expect too much from her. She is not gonna give it to you.
I nod and she walks out of the kitchen, me following her. When we reach the living room, we find Valerie and Louis playing with the tape and before Sandra takes a seat, I pull her into a hug, appreciating her talking to me. She smiles and then goes to see what the guys are doing.
-Jesus, Louis, why would you play random words and tape with Val? She is seriously awesome.
Louis has already a piece of tape that goes from one eyebrow to the other passing through his nose which gives him a look of a weird amused alien. He has also a piece of tape that goes from one corner of his mouth to the other passing all around his hair. That’s going to hurt when he takes those off.
-Squash. – Valerie says smiling at Louis and he gets stuck with his own tongue.
-Squash? What type of word is that? Damn it, it’s the first time I hear the word squash! Guys google it, I’m sure it’s not even a word!
Valerie laughs enjoying her victory and sticks another piece of tape in Louis’ mouth. I can tell she is not weird anymore and I’m glad she is in her sweet mood again.
-Let me take a selfie with you loser. – She takes a picture of them two while Eleanor laughs hard and then she takes the pieces of tape out of Louis mercilessly.
Louis shouts as a girl and everyone laughs as he pretends to cry.
-That hurt! – He says when Valerie took out the tape from his lips. – Seriously, that really hurt. – He says whining amused.
I then take a seat at the couch and Valerie flies to sit on my lap again. I place my arms around her and she shows me the tap playfully.
-Alright, I’ll play with you, little kid.
-Thanks daddy. – She says smiling playfully. – Alright so we have to say random words that don’t have to connect at all. The first person to stumble, blank or repeat a word looses that round and the winner of the round gets to apply a piece of clear tape to the loser’s face. – She says smiling excitedly and showing me the tape. I laugh. – The game is done when someone has three pieces of tape in their face.
-Alright.
-You go first. You say any word and then we would go from there, man. – She says moving her hands and I have to laugh.
-Guitar.
-Pool.
-Chicken.
-Sex.
I don’t know why but I blank and she starts laughing.
-Okay. – I try to compose myself.
-No, no. You lost! Come on. – She says getting a piece of tape that she is going to apply to my face.
She applies a tape moustache to my face and I shake my head chuckling at her.
-Tape. – She says.
-Oven.
-Sweater. – She says laughing at my tape moustache.
-Chips. – I am laughing myself too.
-Masturbation. – She says smiling at me. I know what she is doing and so I smile letting out an amused breath.
-Steady. – She raises her eyebrows impressed that I went on. To be honest, I’m impressed too.
-Boring.
-Love. – I say smiling at her.
She blanks staring at me. I knew that was going to catch her off guard. I laugh and take a piece of tape amused and stick it on her cheeks and nose. I don’t want to be too evil because I don’t want to hurt her if I have to take it off of her. We both laugh staring at each other with the tape on our faces.
-Alright, do I start now? – She asks and I laugh.
-Yes. – We are both laughing like idiots.
-Trip.
-Boat.
-Stingy.
I am about to say something, I swear, but I blank again because I was thinking of Valerie saying sex smiling to me again. She laughs at me because I have blanked and I smack her legs pretending to be angry.
-It was “sex” again. I keep on thinking of you saying “sex” that way. Gosh, “sex” is in my head.
She takes another piece of tape and adds it to my face from my forehead to my tape moustache passing all the outline of my nose.
-Hey, it’s not fair! – Louis says. – You are being good to Harry! You added tape on my eyebrows, my lips and my entire hair! Harry’s places don’t even hurt when you are taking them off!
-Shhhh. – It’s everything Valerie says and I burst into laughter. – For some reason you look like Michael Jackson after surgery.
We both laugh at that.
-Alright so this might be the last round.
-If I lose? – I ask her and she laughs.
-Yes.
-Blue. – I start without even ask her.
-Bikini.
-Steak.
-Hot. – She says pretending to have a moustache like me with her finger.
-You.
-Those are related! – Niall says from the couch and Louis laughs.
-Dinner.
-Date.
-Pirate.
I blank again.
-Oh, shit. – I say and she places tape in my forehead catching a curl from my head with the tape.
-I’m sorry. – She says while she takes the piece of tape off of her face and then she takes off the tape from me.
I squint my eyes and wrinkle my nose when she takes the tape from me and she caresses my skin after the tape is gone. She keeps saying sorry and I hear Louis whining that she was not that nice with him. That makes me smile; maybe she really doesn’t want to hurt me.
When she takes off my tape moustache I whine louder and she apologies bending and pecking my skin several times where the moustache was, which means she is almost kissing my lips. I stay still looking at her because I think she hasn’t realized all of our friends are looking at us and she keeps kissing my skin and telling me that she is sorry.
-It’s alright, Val. It didn’t hurt that much. – I say smiling and she pecks my lips.
Now the lads are loud and they cheer us up and Valerie realizes what she has just done. She smiles apologetically at me and says she is sorry.
-What? Don’t be sorry! I thought you didn’t want them to know and that’s why I said nothing.
-Well, fuck off. – She says pulling me closer to her caressing my face and kisses my lips.
This feels so good it’s crazy.
Notes
Hello guys!
Please let me know what you think about the story or vote or something, I don't know! I want some interaction you guys!! Thanks for reading by the way XX
Thanks XxAbbyxX! I'm really glad you like it!! Good luck with school work :):)
10/1/15