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Liam Payne Imagine -- You Have A Miscarriage (Long)

part 1

"Babe!! I'm heading to the studio, I'll be back soon!" Liam called from down the hall. You poked your head out of the laundry room, flashing your boyfriend a smile.

"Bye, love you, be safe!" You called. The same words you repeated every time he left the flat. He gave a wink and nod before closing the door behind him.

You finished transferring the laundry into the dryer, before adding in a new load. You sighed, setting down the basket and walking into the living room. You plopped down on the couch, resting your hand on your protruding stomach. "How're you doing today baby girl?" you whisper. You run your hands over yourself, waiting to feel any sort of movement. Nothing. "It's okay baby girl, I'm sleepy too this morning."

Your morning is relatively normal. You clean up the aftermath of Liam's breakfast, rinse his dishes and wipe down the table. You call your dad, ensuring him that everything is fine and that he doesn't need to fly out anytime soon. That you're taken care of, and your baby is too. That he has nothing to worry about.

You hated staying home. You hated lingering around this apartment all by yourself, you felt isolated, useless. So you snatched up your purse, and slung the strap around your body, and decided to go run some errands, maybe grab lunch. You'd still be back before Liam.

The air was hot, humid even, but the sun hid behind a layer of thick clouds. You walked a couple blocks, stopped at the grocery store, picked up your essential prenatal vitamins that Liam insisted you took, along with a pack of granola bars you'd randomly been craving.

With that you checked out, paid, and exited the grocery store. You continued like this for an hour or two, wandering around town, browsing. You found an adorable outfit for the baby, a dress, light grey at the top accented with a pink bottom. You couldn't wait to show Liam.

The excitement for your baby had grown immensely once you and Liam had found out the sex of the baby. When the doctor uttered the words 'girl' both of you melted. Liam's smile stretched from one ear to the other, you had cried with joy. That's when her room started to come together, everything pink and yellow and white. And although you two still bickered about names, neither of you actually cared. Life was perfect, absolutely perfect.

Or so you thought.

You'd been browsing through a small clothing store, looking for shirts that might actually fit you once your belly grew even more, when you started to cramp. It started out small, but within minutes, they became worse and worse.

You walked to the front of the store, finding an employee.

"Hi," you smiled to one of them, "I'm sorry, is there a bathroom I could use?"

The girl looked at your pregnant belly smiling back, "We don't have a customer one, but there's an employee one out back you can use."

You gritted your teeth as another wave of cramps washed over you, you forced out a smile and mumbled a thank you as she led the way.

The bathroom was small, but you shut the door quickly, making your way over to the toilet. You hoped urinating would help subside the pain, but as you went to pull your pants down, you noticed a pool of blood seeping through your pants.

Panic set in. Complete and utter panic as worst case scenerios started flooding through your mind. Pain shot through your abdomen, you clutched your stomach, and fell to the floor.

By now you were crying. Tears flowed steadily down your cheeks, and your chest felt tight. You couldn't breathe, you were panicking. You fished hurriedly through your purse, trying to find your phone, a text from Liam was lingering on your lock screen, 'Hope your day is well, can't wait to see you and our girl, love you xx.'

A cry escaped your lips as you swiped quickly, dialing Liam. It rang and rang, and you sat praying and hoping he'd pick up.

"Hi, you've reached Liam Payne, I'm unable to get to phone right now-" You cried out in frustration, and dialed him again. This time, after two rings, Liam picked up.

"Hey babe-" he started.

"Liam," you choked out, the sound of his voice made you break.

"Baby?" he said, his voice filling with concern, "what's wrong?"

"I don't know-" you sobbed, "Liam, I don't know-"

"Baby, slow down, it's okay, slow down."

"I'm bleeding, it hurts," you sob again.

"Shit," he whispered. "Where are you baby?"

"I went shopping, I'm at the store. Liam, there's so much blood-"

"Niall's calling you an ambulance right now, I'm gonna meet you right there, it'll all be fine," he assured you. You could sense the panic in his voice though.

"I'm scared," you barely whispered, choking out another sob.

"I know baby, I'm coming, just stay there, okay?"

"Okay," I whispered.

"Just stay on this phone with me baby," he said. "I'm leaving the studio now."

"Okay," I whispered again.

"It's fine baby, everything's gonna be fine."

"Okay," you kept repeating. You couldn't find the energy to say anything more. The cramps hit you, and you whimpered.

Liam must have sensed your discomfort because he spoke up again, "What's going on?"

But you couldn't answer. You felt more blood seeping down the side of your legs, and you started feeling dizzy. The room began to spin, your eyes felt heavy.

"Y/N? Babe?" Liam called, "Baby talk to me." But you drifted off, dropping your phone to the floor, Liam calling your name through the line.

------------------------------------------------------------------

You awoke to the sound of someone banging. It was so loud, you wished it would stop. Your eyes still felt heavy, but another loud bang snapped them open. A man busted through the door to the small bathroom you were sitting in. You were still on the floor, your head hung, and your hands clasped desperately on your stomach. You felt embarrassed, you had bleed in your pants. The man bent beside you, snapping on a pair of gloves and shining a flashlight in your eyes.

"Hey sweetheart, can you tell me your name?" he asked softly.

You nodded, mumbling your name to the man.

"Good," he said, "Alright can you stand?"

You nodded.

"Perfect, we're gonna get you up then."

You tried to stand, putting your hands on the floor for support, but you couldn't muster up enough strength, you got halfway, then your arms gave out, you started to fall. However, the EMT man was there to catch you, he placed his arms around you and guided you out of the bathroom.

All eyes were on you. Every customer and employee in the store was staring as the EMT and his partner loaded you on a stretcher.

After you were strapped in, the man and his partner started talking back and forth to one another. He began telling her information about your pupils and pulse and other things you didn't quite understand. You started to cry out again in fear. You were crying for Liam, and for your baby.

The female EMT bent beside you, saying soothing words into your ear. She assured you everything would be alright, I just needed to keep breathing through the pain.

The ride to the hospital was short but terrifying. As the EMT's began to unload you from the back of the ambulance, you heard a familiar voice call out your name.

"Liam!" you yelled, you struggled against the restraints, you pulled and tugged and tried to sit up, you wanted to see his face. All you wanted was to see the carefree smile of your boyfriend.

"Y/N, you need to calm down," the EMT told me.

"Liam!" You kept calling, panic was setting in, why couldn't you see him?

"I'm right here baby," you heard his voice, closer this time, and soon you felt a pair of warm hands on your arm. You looked over, and Liam stood above you. No carefree smile, just a look of worry plastered over him. "I'm right here."

You were checked in to the hospital soon after, propped up in a bed, looking out the window at Liam. He was in the hallway, hollering at someone.

"MY GIRLFRIEND IS HERE, SHE'S BEEN HERE FOR HALF AN HOUR, WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!"

"I know sir, I understand, we've contacted the doctor, he's on his way," a nurse explained.

"YOU SAID THAT TWENTY MINUTES AGO-" he yelled again.

You hated seeing him like this, and your stomach was still in a lot of pain, you scrunched your face up and began crying again, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. You sobbed into your sheets, desperate for this all to be over.

"Baby-" Liam turned around to see you curled up in her bed, looking so small. He hurried over. "Baby, what's wrong? What hurts?"

"Liam-" you gasped.

"Shh," he breathed. You scooted over, leaving room for him to join you. He laid beside you, putting one arm around you, letting you coil into his chest. His other hand cupped your face, traveled down your arm, gripped your hand. He held you tight, kissed your head, whispering how much he loved you over and over again into your hair. Your puffy eyes felt heavy, your cramps slowly subsided. Maybe it was the medicine they gave you, maybe it was the warm arms of Liam around you. Either way, you fell asleep like that, your head pressed against Liam's chest, his chin resting on you.


---------------------------------------------------------------

The doctor was in shortly after you dozed off. Your head snapped up when he walked in, Liam got up quickly. I explained to the doctor what had happened, and he nodded slowly.

"How far along are you?"

"15 weeks," you stated.

"Okay," the doctor whispered, then he explained. He explained the term Late Miscarriage. And how it only happened in about 2% of pregnancies. He explained that all the cramping was you going into early labor. That all the blood was remnants of tissue. Tissue from your baby.

For the first time that day, you didn't cry. You just sat, puffy-eyed, and tired. Your hand found it's way to your belly. A protruding bump that once held your beautiful baby girl. Your beautiful beautiful girl was gone.

Then you remembered, "I couldn't feel her," you said.

The doctor raised his eyebrow at you.

"This morning," you continued, "I always felt her kick in the morning, but this morning, I couldn't. I should've known."

I looked to Liam, your eyes desperate for a reaction. He just crossed his arms and squeezed his eyes shut at my words.

You started to panic again at the realization that this was your fault. "I should've known, I should've come in sooner, you could've saved her."

"No, no, no," the doctor assured you, "Miscarriages are unpreventable, once they happen, there's no way to stop them. You did good by calling when you did."

Liam still had his arms crossed. His head was hung, and you could tell he was fighting off tears. He wasn't getting his baby girl. I couldn't give him his baby girl.

The doctor then explained to you that you had passed the remnants of the baby while in the ambulance. He asked cautiously if you'd like to see her. Your eyes widened. You were horrified.

"You mean it's not just a bunch of tissue?" you asked.

He shook his head. "You were far enough along in your pregnancy, where the baby had a form. I immediately nodded.

"I want to see her."

"Y/N-" Liam mumbled.

"I want to see her."

"Baby," he said, "no-"

"Please," you whispered, "Liam, please, I need to see her."

The doctor nodded, and indicated to a nurse waiting outside. She brought in a bundle. And your heart started beating quickly. The nurse gently passed the bundle to you, and your breathing stopped. A small baby, your small baby, laid in front of you, lifeless. Liam was right, you should've have seen her. Your baby was supposed to be full of joy, this baby brought sadness, and dread.

Liam could tell you couldn't handle this. He told the nurse it was enough, and she took her from your arms.

Pain bubbled up in your chest and you let out an uncontrollable sob. "Liam-" you gasped, reaching out to him, your eyes started to fill with tears, everything became clouded by your cries, but soon enough, you felt Liam's warm arms around you again. He slid into the bed beside you again and this time you didn't fall asleep. You continued to cry into his chest, ruining his shirt with your tears. Everything hurt. Your stomach still cramped, your head pounding, your chest heavy. You clutched onto the fabric of Liam's shirt with everything you had. Liam just stroked your hair, and started whispering that he loved me again.


---------------------------------------------------------------


The pain you'd felt during your miscarriage was nothing compared to the pain you felt watching Liam tear apart your baby girl's room. He took the crib apart. He moved the rocking chair into storage. He took down the decoratives on the wall.

He worked in there all day, but always shut it when he was done. He knew you couldn't bare to look inside.

Later that night, you curled up on the couch, cradling a cup of hot tea. Your unwashed hair fell in your face. When Liam was done, he joined you. Plopping down beside you, his shoulder touching yours. You both stared straight ahead at the dark TV screen.

"We're gonna be okay," Liam said.

"You think so?"

Liam nodded. "I do. We're gonna be okay."

"I love you," you said.

"I love you too."

There was nothing more to be said. Not after the trauma you'd both endured. So instead you just sat, shoulder to shoulder, in silence. Needing nothing more than the phrase 'i love you' lingering in the air to keep you going.

Liam was right. You'd be okay.

Notes

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