Everything I Didn't Say

Luke pulls on the ropes of the swing set, pulling me closer. He flickers his eyes from my eyes to my lips. I can't help but copy his movements. The way he's pulling me in. His smell. His eyes. His face. What am I doing? Not getting pulled into another trap, I'm for damn sure. Luke Hemmings you are a deceiving little bastard.

"No." I state, pushing at his chest. He looks me in the eyes but doesn't speak. Is that a speck of remorse in his eyes I see? Nah. I sigh and make my way to the car.

"Addy!" Luke calls. I stop in my tracks. "What do I have to do to prove to you that I love you?"

I swallow the lump in my throat, barely even turning around. "You don't love me." I state, fully walking away.

~xx~

After everything that went on today, as soon as we got home, I went straight to my room. Mum and Dad may be mad that I skipped out on dinner, but I feel like I've had enough family time for one. I think I really need some friends.

The cool summer wind hits my face as I climb onto my, what I like to call, safespot: The roof. I only come up here when I feel I need to re think things. I stopped coming up here though after high school, seeing as all my trouble centered there. After high school, I was pretty happy, I started taking some college classes and getting my life on track. With the comfort of my family of course. But now that I'm back here and re thinking again, I feel like I need more.

I need friends. I need a social life. I want..love. I've never had that feeling to want somebody. To feel loved and to love somebody back. I guess I just kind of accepted the fact that nobody wanted me as I've grown older.

"What're you doing up there?!" Someone yells from the street.

I sink down some, trying to find this person. Michael? "Why do you care?!" I yell back.

"I don't! I'm on my way over to Luke's, and I'm now curious!"

"Well go away!" I spat, retaining back to my original position. I hear Michael scoff an say something under his breath, but he eventually walks away.

After a while of sitting outside, reevaluating my life, I half expected Luke to come out and bug me, but there was no sign of him. I dunno why but part of me kind of wanted him to come.

Notes